A/N: I love Orion. LOVE him. There are not enough fanfics out there starring him. So, this will be a fic about Arty's time in the clinic, starring Orion and possibly other alters! I'm just going to put all my random ideas out there. There is no plot plot, just a bunch of chronological snapshots of Arty's treatment. Enjoy!

I don't own the Artemis Fowl books or characters.

Holly walked briskly into a room at Dr. Argon's psych clinic. The room happened to belong to one Artemis Fowl, though she didn't know if that would be who awaited her. This was the first day of electro-shock therapy for Artemis, and no one knew how he would respond. The doctor had instructed Holly and Co. to spend as much time with Artemis as possible, because much of the complex was related to his guilt towards them. In addition to this, as his closest- and only- friends, they would have a calming effect on him. Hopefully.

Pushing open the door, Holly stopped dead. The youth in the bed had looked up and given her a smile so sappy it made her sick. Holly inwardly groaned, but not outwardly, as Dr. Argon had told her to humor any alters that might appear. It was Orion, then. Great. Or rather, D'arvit.

"My princess! At last!" Orion placed his book on his lap and stared adoringly at Holly.

"Hello, Orion." Holly replied brightly, walking over to a chair beside the bed and glanced around the room. It was brightly lit, the majority of the room was cream colored, and white tiles covered the floor. Holly sat down and glanced at Orion's book. It was a collection of love poems.

"How have you fared, lovely maiden?" Orion reached for her hand, which was lying on the bedside table.

"I've been fine, Orion, thanks. How are you feeling?" Holly drew back her hand quickly.

"Alas, I am not feeling as well as I might hope. But a knight knows no discomfort, eh? The sight of your radiant visage has banished the pain from my soul!" Orion proclaimed.

"Your soul?" Dr. Argon had instructed her to gain as much information as to how Artemis/Orion was dealing with the therapy. "Does anything, um, physical hurt?"

"My heart only, princess, it so longs for you!" Holly sighed. At least she wouldn't have to bear it alone much longer.

"Some others are coming to visit in a few minutes, Orion. Foaly and Butler want to see how you're doing. Mulch is coming tomorrow."

"Splendid! What a pleasure to once again see my loyal companions. Although I have yet to meet Sir Butler, I have many fond memories of him!"

"Right. I forgot that you hadn't met him in person yet." Holly glanced around for something to say. Her gaze fell on the book in Orion's lap. "Er, is that a good book?" Orion looked down at it, and his smile, if possible, became even sappier.

"Indeed, fair maiden! It is a collection of great love poems, though none are fit to describe the depth of my love for you!"

"Orion, if you could tone it down a little, please. There's no need to be so loud," Holly said, wincing. Orion's voice was sure to wake up the patient in the next room.

"Of course, my princess," Orion whispered, "I would rather feed myself to a dragon than upset you again!"

Holly sighed, then turned towards the door. A clip-clop of hooves could be heard outside the door, then Foaly and Butler entered the room, Butler ducking under the door to avoid running into it. Orion sat up straighter.

"Ah, noble steed!" Orion shouted, promise forgotten, "Loyal comrade! How wonderful to see you again!"

Foaly stopped dead, looking at Orion.

"Great. Just great," he muttered. Louder he said, "How are you doing, Orion? Feeling any better?"

Orion looked a bit annoyed.

"Why must everyone worry about me? I am perfectly fine, for your information. I could slay a hundred dragons right now without breaking a sweat!"

"Wow," Foaly whinnied, "That sounded almost normal until the dragon part."

Butler was staring in disbelief at Orion. The big man had been informed of the side effects of the complex, and Foaly had explained about Orion, but Butler hadn't really believed it before now.

"Artemis?" he asked hesitantly. The boy that looked like Artemis Fowl smiled at him.

"Ah, Butler!" said the youth, "How wonderful to finally meet you in the flesh! Let me introduce myself: I am Orion. And I must ask, do you have any relations who are perhaps evil? Or enjoy the taste of human bones, baked into bread? For I would love nothing better than to smite them, and perhaps earn the fair princess's love! What say you, good sir?"

Butler stared at Orion, in even greater disbelief than before. He opened his mouth to reply, then closed it again. He looked at Holly for support. She only shrugged. Even Foaly was speechless. Finally Butler managed a few words.

"Fair princess?" he choked out. Orion's face glowed.

"Indeed! The lovely maiden beside me who even now bewitches my heart with her beauty, her grace, her incredible-"

"Orion!" Holly shouted, "That's enough!" Orion pouted.

"My apologies, princess. But I was only complimenting your astounding beauty. One would think-. But alas, I must make it up to you. Sir Butler, you never answered my query. Do you have any malicious relations? For I would say one to win back the fair maiden's heart!."

"No evil relatives, I'm sorry to say," grunted Butler, who was still dumbstruck, "I'll let you know if I hear of any."

"My gratitude, fellow knight."

Butler turned to Foaly.

"How did you put up with this in a confined space?"