Disclaimer: I do not own any characters

Claimer: I only own characters that are "NOT" in the Smurfs comic, tv series, and movie.

Chernov and Sassette sat there in the dark as the capture took them far from the Smurf Village, after about an hour they heard a door opening and closing and the footsteps changed tone as it's now walking on hard flooring. Suddenly, the bag turned upside down and Chernov and Sassette were dumped into a cage with long metal bars. They soon recognized their smurfnapper.

"Pappy Gargamel?" said Sassette.

"And why can't we be friends?" asked Chernov trying his best to make the bad situation sound funny.

"Oh, I was after the smurfling but catching you is a great bonus." said Gargamel.

"So what are you going to do?" asked Chernov, "Turn us into gold or eat us? I taste horrible and spicy, might turn your insides into mush by the time I'm in your system."

"No, I'm not going to eat you or turn you into gold," said Gargamel, "Worse, I'm going to boil you two alive and serve you to my guest that are coming."

"Let me guess, your mom?" asked Chernov, "And your godfather."

Gargamel was silent for a long time and then gave in, "Alright, yes my guest is – my mom – and – my godfather Balthazar. How'd you know that?"

"There's a note on that wall over that says 'Serve Smurflings to Mummy and Balthazar when they arrive," said Chernov.

Gargamel walked over to the wall and grabbed the note and crumple it up and throw it into the trash can.

"Supposingly on why do you want to serve smurflings to your rivals?" asked Chernov.

"The Gargoyles want revenge and I promise them on killing those Smurflings," said Gargamel.

"You can't hold up to your promises, you failed to destroy the Smurfs over a gazillion times." pointed out Chernov.

"Yes but," said Gargamel.

"You located the Smurf Village a gazillion times two but forget the location everytime," also noted Chernov.

"Uh..." muttered Gargamel.

"And I remember that time where my pa comes in here and kicked your ass and dragged you back to the Smurf Village and back here, with an injured me by his side." noted Chernov.

"Enough!" screamed Gargamel, "I'm going to cook you now!"

"Oh hold on, I gotta clean my colon first." said Chernov calmly and then he farted for 10 straight seconds. Sassette didn't smell anything but the stench had drove Azrael out of the house and it caused Gargamel to get nauseous, he ran to a nearby window and vomit out of it. Sassette held her finger up and Chernov pulled it, causing her to fart a little toot. That toot was twice as strong and more concentrated causing Gargamel to vomit more, Sassette can't help but laugh as Chernov just sat there smiling.

"I remember that time that my Uncle drank his own sweat," said Chernov, "And then he ate horse sh#t."

"Oh stop!" cried Gargamel as he vomits out the window, Sassette laughs harder.

"I remembered that time where my aunt had ate a Krispie Kreme Cheeseburger, it's donuts stuck together between a meat patty with cheese and bacon." said Chernov, "And then she added pulverized earthworms with her french fries and stuff."

"You're making me sick," cried Gargamel.

"Oh and one more thing, who stepped on a duck?" asked Chernov, letting out a 5 second fart.

Sassette tried to pass gas herself but with no prevail, she tried harder and got a result that didn't sound good. "I messed myself," she cried.

Gargamel cursed and swore foul language out the window for about 20 minutes awhile he pukes, by the time he's done something else happened that seemed redicules.

"Hey Gargamel," yelled a voice.

Gargamel turned around and saw Smurfette, with a flamethrower?

"Oh, so Chernov did fried your brain," he said.

"And I'm going to fry your ass!" she yelled and sets off the flame thrower. A burst of fire came out of the nozzle and stuck Gargamel hard, turning him into a Human Torch. Chernov wisely covered Sassette's eyes until Gargamel jumped out of the window and ran off screaming. Smurfette takes off the flamethrower and climbs up onto the table where Chernov and Sassette's cage sits.

Before she could get it open, Chernov grabbed the bars and bent them like they're nothing and walked right through. "Had it all planned out from the beginning," said Chernov as he hugged Smurfette, "Thank you though."

"We've gotta go," said Smurfette, "I'd set that thing to blow up."

"On my word, RUN LIKE HELL!" screamed Chernov as he grabbed Sassette and Smurfette and carried them over his shoulders as he ran out of the hovel in lightning speed, just before the giant structure explodes into a fireball.

They got within a safe distance from the hovel and Chernov sat the two smurfettes down, "Let's not tell the Smurfs about this one guys," said Chernov, "If they find out about it, tell them I did all the work and I'd set it on fire. Remember Papa Smurf's word, never act human no matter what situation."

"I'm sorry," said Smurfette as she faced down.

Chernov used his hand and raised her face to meet his eyes, "It's not your fault, I've changed you and made you... yeah it's that bad." he says, "Don't worry, I'm going to fix all this right away."

"You will?" she asked excitedly.

"Yeah, but with the weight around your waist that's your problem," said Chernov, causing Sassette to laugh.

Smurfette let out a whining groan as the three heads back to the Smurf Village, they walked into Chernov's house and placed a headband with wires attached to one of Chernov's machines onto Smurfette's head. "You sure this would work?" she asked.

"I did the math," said Chernov, and here it goes.

Chernov flips the switch and the whole place went white for a few seconds, by the time it fades away. All three smurfs were lying in the ground, a bit dizzy on what happened. Chernov looked at Smurfette and was amazed, she no longer wears yellow overalls and smurf hat. She wears a white dressed, white hat, and white high heals once more. Her hair is long again and she had slimmed down, it must have been magic.

"Smurfette, tell me what your thinking?" asked Chernov.

"I've been wondering what makeup I would wear and what dressed should I..." Smurfette stopped as she looks down, she put her hands on her stomach and then on her face then looked at a nearby mirror.

"It worked!" she cheered and hugged Chernov, "Oh thank you for giving me my life back."

"Your welcome," said Chernov. "And you smell great, no family odor or anything."

"Family odor?" asked Smurfette.

"Something you might not understand, but it's great to have you back Smurfette," said Chernov, "Again."

Smurfette and Sassette left Chernov's house and walked back home, fellow smurfs saw Smurfette and were relieved that she was back to normal and no longer brain damaged. Chernov watched her as she and Sassette walked back into her house, a few moments later Brainy came out of her house with a confused look on his face then walked off.

"I hope I fixed everything," said Chernov to himself.

Chernov went back inside his house and shut the door behind him, later in the day Sassette went outside to play and Baby Smurf was asleep. "Oh, what should I do?" she asked herself, and then saw her hand and smiled, "Oh now I know what to do."

She then heads into the bathroom and closed the door behind her, in this case it's obviously clear that Chernov didn't fix everything. But at least it's close enough, maybe not. But that's what you call a Smurfass.

THE END