Beyond the Barrier
Note: Excuse my three week absence, I've been working on college applications.
Plus, this chapter was so damn hard to write.
-Viddie

PS. Fast fact: Viddie's first language is not English.

The rag had been scrapping the same spot on the shiny kitchen counter for fifteen minutes already. Her foot tapped the floor anxiously, staring at the phone for what seemed like hours. The minutes dragged along like waves on the old Plastic Beach shore she remembered so well from her final teenage years. Impatience tickled her back and stabbed her shoulders upon every small movement. She wasn't sure what to expect or what to hope for. All she knew is that she was going to get a call that day, and that call could change her life. She wasn't sure how she felt about that though. Was she ready for the change?

At six thirty in the morning, the morning dew clung to the long, tall windows surrounding the kitchen. The cold seeped through the metal walls, turning the room into a giant freezer. On top of that, the heater wasn't working properly, and randomly shut itself on and off throughout the lonely day. Being January, the peak of winter drowned the lower floors of Kong in snow. Snowed in, it was almost impossible to leave the building that day, so they were stuck like the past week.

Noodle could see her reflection on the shiny counter. At such a young age, the wrinkles under her eyes were prominent. Her matted bed hair stuck in several different directions, her ink black roots beginning to eat away at the purple. The veins in her eyes were redder than usual as her emerald eyes faded to a pale moss. She now wore dirty grey eyeglasses and kept her mess of hair back in a small ponytail at all times. A salmon pink scarf covered her frown, and her oversized black and yellow sweater hid her womanly body. She felt more like a housewife than a college student though, taking courses online and attending to housekeeping while the only other resident wasted his days in the Kong studio, either painting or writing music.

All that mattered was that he was happy.

Noodle picked up the small container of flavored toothpicks off the counter next to the phone and studied the label. The words 'Fiesta Toothpicks' wrapped around the closed container, which hadn't been opened for two months. She tossed it into the trash can, tired of seeing it lying around without a purpose, and continued to rub the same exact spot on the counter with a rag she was washing before. As if it couldn't get any cleaner. She shook her head. No. She wasn't going to be called at six thirty in the morning. Who was she kidding? It was her childhood Christmas all over again, as she waited like a puppy dog for the most anticipated event of the weekend.

She stretched out her arm, accidentally knocking over a glass of water, the one she left out for 2D the night before to encourage him to take water with his painkillers. She swept the rag off the counter, letting it drop to the floor. She stepped on the rag and used her foot to hurriedly wipe most of the water away. A minute later, her patience ran out as she dried her hands with the rag and tossed it onto the counter. Exiting the kitchen, she noticed the photo of the Gorillaz that hung next to the bar was tilted off. She adjusted it back to its position, careful not to ruin Murdoc's evil grin. She knew he was watching her, and if she made him look bad, he'd roll over in his grave. Then there was Russel, who's relaxed, fatherly smile calmed Noodle through the toughest times. She knew he was doing okay in the United States, as she talked to him on the phone every other day. Then there was 2D, whose beautiful eyes she couldn't stop staring at every time she passed by. Murdoc probably still rolled in his grave from just that.

Moments later, she was speeding upwards on the small lift, the air getting warmer and warmer as the lift climbed the levels. It seemed all the hot air floated up to the top while the cold, freezing air sank to the bottom. She found that terribly unfair and she got off the lift and felt a rush of warn air hit her face. It felt so amazing, that she took off her scarf and dropped it on the lift floor. It wasn't going anywhere. She stepped off and rounded the corner, stepping into the large hallway and turning a sharp left into 2D's room.

The walls of the enlarged room were littered with splatters of paint. Paintings and posters hung on these walls, making the room feel crowded but cozy. The floor was nice and neat, though, since she made him clean his room yesterday. 2D may have been thirty-five, but sometimes she felt like she was babysitting a twelve year old. She wanted to vacuum it right then, but she noticed him crashed out on his bed, which was still made. An MP3 player hung from one of his ears, which meant he was listening to some form of music last night and forgot to take it out when he fell asleep.

Upon further examination, she saw that the MP3 player was still on, and he had some kind of softer music on repeat. She knelt over, took the other earpiece dangling from the cord, and stuck it in her ear. No doubt about it; it was 'Hibernation' from their album 'The Wrongs of the World'. That was the song she and 2D wrote on Plastic Beach. In actuality, he did write the lyrics to it, so she let him take credit for writing it. There were words and feelings weaved into the music. Feelings that she couldn't explain. Jealousy filled her lungs and escaped her mouth with a small sigh. She longed for the same ability to portray her feelings in such a beautiful way. She wanted to make him all numb inside, just like he did to her whenever they played 'Hibernation' at concerts, and whenever she listened to the song on her iPod or practiced it in the studio. One day, she was going to write a song that would cause his heart to twist inside his body in the same way hers twisted every time she was near him.

Noodle's heart was even worse nowadays that she lived alone with 2D. It was unclear what their outer relationship was though. Sometimes, she felt like he was her brother, as they bickered and argued over the most pathetic things, but would end up laughing about it ten minutes later. Sometimes, she felt like she was mothering him, constantly ordering him to clean his room or pick up his mess in the studio. She found that upon exiting her teenage years, she grew more and more conscious about the cleanliness of her living space, and it seemed inevitable that Noodle's and 2D's idea of organization would clash terribly. But through all this, she couldn't ignore the intimacy that came with living alone with him. She hadn't seen him with another woman since her return, and sometimes she felt his lips brush her forehead at night whenever she went to bed before him. Of course, Noodle let it go, convincing herself that those kisses were definitely just mimics of when she was ten and he would tuck his lil' love into bed with a kiss. It was the same… exact… thing. Definitely. No doubt about it.

But a longing tugged at her, coming from 2D and his close proximity with her. She sat on the floor next to his bed, previously studying his MP3 player. His face was pressed against his pillow, his cheek right at the edge of the bed. If she turned her head, their noses would almost touch. As she noticed this, she let the MP3 drop to the floor again where it laid when she had come into his room. His words continued to ring in her ear from the earphone. Stay awake through the morning call, too loud to catch the noise. And she turned her head slowly, her eyes just centimeters from his. She let the music drive her inner intentions as her logistical mind quickly made an excuse. He did it to her first. And many times. Why couldn't she do it to him? Friendly and quick, right?

That was when she pressed her pair of soft, nurturing lips against 2D's cheek. Some degree of relief escaped her at that moment as she initiated such an intimate movement. But who was she kidding? Since when did morning kisses on the cheek equal a kiss on the forehead right before bed? Even though it was the same act, the time of day and who was kissing who made a huge difference. And the intentions were different. She didn't even know what her intention was. It just felt so right. Yet so wrong on so many levels. Her lips lingered on his cheek while she tried to make sense of what she was doing.

But suddenly, as Noodle was just about to pull away, a ring echoed throughout the studios, loud enough to cause 2D to jolt up and his eyes to pop open. Noodle dodged out of the way just in time as she yanked out the earphone and slammed it to the ground. She scrambled to her feet as 2D sat there in his bed rubbing his eyes. Turning away, she reached for the door, but instead tripped over her feet, landing in a stack of neatly folded clothes next to his radio. The door. She reached again for the door, trying to escape embarrassment before he realized what she just did.

No. Too late. There was nothing she could do now. She felt 2D's confused eyes stare at her, who was stumbling around in his room. The phone continuously rang in rhythm as he let go of his stare to shift his position on his bed, swinging his lengthy legs over the side and stretching his arms to further wake himself up. In a loud yawn, he gently touched his cheek, the kiss finally registering in his mind. But when he looked up again, the door was left wide open and Noodle was long gone. 2D tilted his head in confusion as he gently took out the earphone that was in his ear all night. His lips curled into a fresh morning smile as he couldn't help but think how nice it felt to have her breath still clinging to his face. 2D heard the phone cease to ring and Noodle's voice speak from an upper floor in inaudible English.

"H-H-Hello?" Noodle stuttered at the phone, still nervous. What was she thinking two minutes ago? What motivated her to do such a silly thing? And she got caught! All because the stupid phone rang… no. It wasn't Russel's fault. It was her fault. She had probably just ruined her sisterly relationship with 2D. Selfishness motivated her. The need for something beyond the current interactions drove her into this mess, and there was no turning back. Her thoughts were interrupted.

"Baby girl!" Russel greeted her with excitement. "They're gonna let ya transfer over!"

Noodle leapt off her feet. "S-Seriously? Oh my God, Russel! Thank you so much for helping me!"

Russel chuckled and said, "No problem. Let's be happy they're letting ya do this over the webcam. Just make sure ya contact TUA."

Noodle nodded and said, "Of course! I'll do that tonight! Oh gosh, thank you again. I still can't believe I'm in!" She bounced in her shoes, letting excitement overwhelm her. Soon, she would be officially be a graduate student at the newly established City International Music Academy in Los Angeles, but they would allow her to attend classes via webcam. She was glad she had Russel, who landed a job as a percussions teacher there and was more than willing to grab a spot for her at the school. CIMA wasn't too pleased at the distance between her and the actual, physical facilities, but because she was a friend of their most respected teacher, Mr. Hobbs, they were willing to go the extra mile to let her take classes while staying in England. What they didn't know, was that Mr. Hobbs's friend was also a former band member of Gorillaz. Russel and Noodle agreed they would keep her true identity on the down-low, just to be safe. Having one of the teachers from Gorillaz at CIMA was enough excitement for the student body and faculty to contain. Plus, Noodle wanted to be treated like any normal student… on a webcam.

"By the way, I like the fake name ya chose. Suit ya well, baby girl," Russel complimented her. "Well, ya call meh if there's any trouble, I'll keep meh cell on."

"Okay, Mr. Hobbs," Noodle said. "I'll talk-" She paused when she heard the sound of double doors sliding open. Noodle held her breath and peeked towards the lift in the corner of her eye. There stood 2D, still wearing the same clothes he wore yesterday with a beaming smile printed on his face. She took a deep breath before she continued, "I'll talk to you later." She then hung up and turned to the kitchen, hoping 2D wouldn't follow. Noodle was way too embarrassed to deal with him now.

"Congratulations, love!" She heard 2D say in excitement. It seemed that he overheard her phone conversation with Russel. Sound traveled pretty far in Kong. He caught up with her on the way to the kitchen and ruffled her hair, oblivious to the fact that she wasn't really in the mood.

Noodle couldn't even look him in the eye when she nodded and said, "Thanks." The rag on the counter still sat there in a pile of a mess and some flowers in a vase on the table where starting to die. They were orchids she managed to keep alive for a couple weeks, but she knew they would inevitably die. Life didn't last forever. Happiness and sanity never lasted forever. Especially when happiness drank a bottle of Tequila for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Special bonds will always be broken. Everything changes as time flies. And as Noodle learned the past thirteen years, time flew fast.

On one hand, she could take advantage of this happiness tickling under her skin. It wanted to break loose and fill the room. It called for celebration, a day out, a movie, a small party, whatever. She managed to grab a spot at the most prestigious music college built on the Earth's soil. However, the joyous feeling was cut off by a confusion ripping her mind apart. With too many things happening to fast, she needed some air. Her feet picked up and dashed through the kitchen and towards the door to the patio. Maybe he wouldn't follow her this time… maybe he would give up and leave her alone for a while. She needed air, even if there was a huge chance he only took that kiss on the cheek as a friendly morning gesture.

As she was focused on the door, little attention was drawn to the floor. She suddenly felt her heel fly forward in front of her and her other foot follow. Air filled the space between her and the ground, her feet damp with the leftover water she spilt not twenty minutes ago. When she heard loud hurried footsteps behind her, she knew he was trying to make it. Trying to come to her before she hit the floor. But when she landed on her back, a wave of pain crunched her insides. Not just physically, but emotionally.

"Noodle!" 2D shouted from almost right behind her. He was close. Too damn close. Just a few more inches, and he would have been able to prevent the surging pain in her lower back. He kneeled down in front of her and ran his hand around her lower back, where he concluded might hurt the most. "Yew okay, Noodle-love? Yew 'urt anywhe'e?"

Noodle stretched her legs out in front of her and put a hand on the floor behind her, leaning back to stretch out a tight muscle in her back. She blushed and nodded, "Yeah… yeah I'm sure I'm fine." She noticed how close he was to her and how oblivious he was about it. And how the hand on her back made all the pain go away. That frightened her. It frightened her that she felt so amazing about the situation. She slipped on that damn water, but he at least tried to catch her. And his presence was like her pain killer. Her nervousness around him at the moment made her focus on him rather than the small, trivial pain in her back. And of course, this frightened her. "I'm definitely fine."

It wasn't supposed to be like this. She wanted to live with her best friend, have adventures in Kong and goof off like the old days. She wanted to live with the one brother figure in her life she could depend on and have silly half-hearted fights over incredibly stupid things. She wanted to experience the pain of loss with the most important person in her life, and get through it side by side. But things were getting way, way out of hand. She was starting to lose control.

The skin on her lower back tingled in reaction to 2D's soft, caring touch. There was no way in hell she could miss the concern in his eyes, the emotion that may have been more than that. Concern. There was definitely more than concern in those dark, empty voids for eyes. He spoke in such a quiet voice, "Good. T'ank Gawd. T'ank Gawd." He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead on hers, resting his head against Noodle as he gave out a soft sigh. "Dun scare meh like t'at ever again."

Noodle's heart suddenly twisted again. How many times in her life has he said something like that? Words that made her heart wrench? Well, there was that time on Plastic Beach. When she was protecting him from the whale, he told her, 'I like havink an excuse to 'old yewr hand.' And then, on the night of Murdoc's funeral, he promised her he would quit smoking, adding, 'I'm doing i' fer yew.' Then there was the song. The song on their fourth album. Hibernate. There was no way he pulled out those lyrics from nowhere. There had to be some sort of emotion driving those words. Noodle bit her lower lip. The way he was holding her now was even more proof that this twisting feeling was mutual. She could see it. She could just see it in his eyes and that alone proved everything. Pressing her forehead against 2D's, she agreed, "No. I won't do that ever again." Finally, she chuckled lightly, "I'll clean up everything I spill from now on."

There it was again. He had opened his eyes and she could see right directly into them. Those eyes… just centimeters away from hers… she could read them like a book in that small moment. She gasped in shock, then dropped her head to his shoulder and latched her arms around him. In an attempt to get answers, she insisted, "I have a question. I need an answer, 2D."

"Anyfink," he quickly answered. "Anyfink."

Noodle hugged him closer and she asked, "You know 'Hibernate'?" 2D pulled away to look at her and nod. But slowly and cautiously. He wasn't sure where she was taking this. Noodle sighed and looked at her feet, away from 2D. Then, she gently placed her hand on his chest. "The song… it was written from here. I'm sure. But… where is 'here'? Where is your heart right now?" 2D tilted his head in confusion as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Stuart, was that song written for me?" 2D jumped a few centimeters back in shock. Noodle watched his face turn red and his eyes grow large and scared. Then, she mentally kicked herself. She just put him in a tight spot. What on Earth was she thinking?

Just as she began to get up and make a run for it, he grabbed her wrist and pinned it to the floor. She wasn't going anywhere. Not on his watch. He hid his face behind his scruffy blue hair and swallowed nervously. She felt his hands grow slightly cold. 2D whispered, "S'op runnin' from meh, Noods." She gasped. He was upset about her darting away from him just a few minutes ago. No… not just that. Hibernate… was a song… pleading for her to stay with him. It was one of his many responses he wrote for El Manana. The album 'Plastic Beach' was full of them, and so was 'The Wrongs of the World'. It wasn't just that song. Hibernate. It was all of them, from 'Rhinestone Eyes' to 'Broken' to 'To Binge', plus the later songs from 'Late for 3:00' to 'Freeze Wave'. Music was his message to her, a message he had no guts to tell her in person. Then suddenly, she heard him again. He whispered in a light voice, "Dun… leave."

Noodle felt herself shrink up into a little ball. She suddenly felt vulnerable and helpless as her heart took over her logical reasoning. Her muscles relaxed, the will to get away quickly fading away. Perseverance deteriorated, for she no longer had the energy to run away. Giving up, she let 2D run his fingers along her cheek and pull her face towards his. The frozen moment seemed to last forever. His lips almost brushed over hers, but not quite. The closeness caused Noodle's back to shiver. She whimpered a bit as 2D then wrapped his hand around hers and gave it a light squeeze, his face longing for much more than what he knew he could do. Noodle wasn't quite sure she could recall a more intimate moment between her and the vocalist. Both of them longed for the feeling of each other's touch, but none of them could make that final move.

That's when she knew that she wanted nothing more than him to be with her.

A slight push backwards snapped her out of insanity. The space in front of her felt empty and cold, and her heart felt hollow. She reached up to grab the air in front of her, noticing the lack of her band-mate. He sat a meter back, blinking. No… it wasn't him who pushed her. It was she who pushed him. Noodle clenched her fists. She wasn't ready. She just wasn't ready for this kind of thing and she knew it. She had been trying to avoid this from day one, but now her fears had come to slap her in the face.

2D rubbed his face, realizing his chance was gone. But the entire past five minutes was becoming clearer and clearer in his head. What in bloody hell was he thinking? Telling her to stay? The kiss on the cheek… the running away all embarrassed… he was sure. Absolutely sure. Sure that Noodle was developing the kind of emotion he didn't know spoken words for. All he knew was that it was an emotion he could only sing. It was an emotion he didn't truly have for Paula Cracker. It was an emotion that couldn't be exchanged between them right now. It just couldn't. Because she didn't feel the same way. She kissed him because she was pondering going to Los Angeles. She ran away because she didn't want to face him with this decision weighing her down. Even worse, he was keeping her from living. Noodle could be attending CIMA in person. Going to Los Angeles by herself. Living a life outside Kong… the life she didn't get a chance to live seven years ago because demons dragged her to hell. That was it. He was stupid.

The hurt on 2D's face jabbed Noodle's chest. She really wanted to tell him so badly about the pain, but her voice ran out on her. Feeling bad, she wiped a tear away from her eye and said, "I'm so sorry, 2D."

"I am too," 2D replied. He pulled some hair out of his head in frustration and spoke his thoughts, "I… I thot maybe… there wos somefink…" Tears began to leak from his voids, so he wiped the palm of his hand against his eye. "I'm such a…" Dirty old man. That's how he wanted to complete that sentence. But his words drowned in silence. This was it. If he mentioned anything about these emotions, it would permanently damage their friendship. He just knew it.

But even before he could think twice, he felt that wonderful sensation on his cheek again. Her lips. They pressed extremely close to the corner of his lips. Noodle wondered once again what on earth she was doing. What her intentions where. What caused her to do this to her best friend not once, but twice today. But she finally had an answer. Right now, she aimed to prove to him that the connection between them was real. True. There. In that second… in that moment… those feelings between them were finally acknowledged. Noodle pulled away and bit her lower lip. It still wasn't right. She still could say it… the four lettered word. It just couldn't leave her throat, and she knew she couldn't force it.

As 2D and Noodle were finally on the same page, they both stood up. He awkwardly leaned against the counter behind him and wiped his eye again. She sniffed and giggled at his sensitivity. But tension still wrapped around their chests and choked them wordless. He violently shook his head and said, "I can't keep yew 'ere."

"And I can't stay," Noodle said, realizing the sudden mutual agreement they just had within seconds. It was clear. She needed to go to Los Angeles. And she couldn't take 2D. Noodle was only twenty three and now just wasn't the time to express herself to him. It just… wasn't right then. It couldn't happen. But she didn't want to leave. She didn't want to venture out alone and she didn't want 2D to forget her, or worse… move on. And that was why she stayed for this whole year. Noodle could have walked right out the door with Russel and gone her way, down her path and life journey. But her soul longed for security. She needed that assurance that she wouldn't lose him again, and that he wouldn't lose her again.

But then she heard 2D speak the words she was waiting to hear for a year, "I'll wait right 'ere. Fer as long as yew need it. I promise."

"I'll wait right 'ere jus' few yew."