AN: Starting from chapter 2, this story has slash, meaning it contains some GauronxSousuke one-sided shounen ai. If you don't like slash, there's a very high chance you will not like this story! I also apologize if anyone finds mistakes having to do with the baby's behavior or how to care for them - I don't really know much about it besides the absolute basics, so if I made a mistake, please let me know! Also, big thanks to Ubikono for helping me so much with ideas and inspiration for this fic!

Sousuke was at a complete loss. The shrill sound of screaming and wailing filled his ears, and it looked as though his apartment had been nuked. This was a terrifying predicament he was in. What he felt right now was much akin to the hopeless feeling of being cornered on the battlefield.

No, this was probably worse.

Only now did Sousuke fully understand why Mao looked so eager and desperate when she stopped by his apartment yesterday. But no matter what sort of foreboding feeling he had when she revealed her request, there was no way he could have refused an order from his superior. Especially knowing her temper. He was trapped, and doomed to follow through with the task that had been given to him.

Sousuke sighed and turned to look at the subject of his mission, who was currently defecating on the carpet. Baby Moesuke, red faced and clearly upset, was screaming and kicking, while grabbing at anything his little hands could reach. He made a mess on the floor, evidently having no control over his bodily functions. In a situation such as this, Sousuke was supposed to utilize a special garment called a "diaper" after cleaning the area of the body that was soiled. At least, that was what he read from the instructive manual Mao had given him. Unfortunately, doing so was proving to be much harder than what Sousuke anticipated. Baby Moesuke had an amazing talent for evading and speedily crawling away whenever Sousuke tried to wipe his bottom with a disinfectant cloth. Sousuke could only imagine the horrors of attempting to actually put the "diaper" garment onto the subject.

Sousuke looked distantly through the window at the clear blue sky. The end of the week seemed so far away.

Yesterday at 11 P.M.

There were no specific missions that Sousuke was on. School was out, and the job of protecting Chidori was taken over by Kurz and Yang, as well as several others. Sousuke initially tried to be put on duty for protecting her, but Kalinin insisted that this time, Sousuke take some time off. It might have had something to do with Mao reporting that he had fainted several times from lack of sleep during a previous mission. That mission had also involved the Captain, who for some reason decided to crawl to his bed in the middle of the night and... do what Sousuke didn't know. All he knew was that he couldn't get a wink of sleep ever since he first woke up (after feeling that someone was breathing on him) and saw her face inches away from his. His instincts told him to punch and mace the culprit, but he quickly (and thankfully) realized that it was his Captain. Nonetheless, the encounter had terrified him, and sleeping did not come easy after that.

Sousuke felt uneasy about not being on the duty of protecting Kaname Chidori. He was also not used to the feeling of not having any mission or duty to fulfill. In some ways, he felt very empty.

Sousuke sat down on his bed and quietly proceeded to assemble the new MP5 submachine gun he bought. It had been a long time since he had this sort of peace and quiet to leisurely assemble and disassemble his weaponry. Maybe he could get used to this calm, peaceful feeling?

This thought was interrupted by a loud knocking on his apartment door, as well as a muffled voice calling for him to open the door. Sousuke made his way to the door cautiously, and looked through the peephole. To his surprise, the person paying the visit was Second Lieutenant Melissa Mao. She looked irritable and impatient, and started to raise her voice for Sousuke to open the door. It was a horrible feeling whenever someone's actions would draw attention to him, and Mao's loud voice had a way of piquing the curiosity of passerby. Sousuke quickly opened the door and let her in.

Before Sousuke could open his mouth to ask her what this visit was all about, Mao held up what she had been holding in her hands in front of him.

The thing stared at Sousuke.

"Ma ma," it said.

"What is that?" Sousuke asked after a moment of silence.

"A terrorist, Sousuke. Can't you tell? Damn, have you really been living under a rock all these years? It's a baby."

Another pause.

"Wait... don't tell me you actually believed me when I said it was a terrorist?" Mao looked like she was on the verge of laughing uncontrollably.

"No, that's not what I thought. I was wondering why you would bring that to my apartment," Sousuke replied in a clipped manner. In reality, he actually did feel his heart jump when Mao told him it was a terrorist. But he would rather not admit that, as he was well aware that Mao was a rather petty person when it came to flaunting the fact that she was right.

"Anyways Sousuke, I'm in a tight situation here. You have to help me out. You see - I have a cousin whose husband works in Mithril. We've never been all that close, and to put things bluntly, she's a pain in the ass. A total selfish, whiny bitch - definitely got it from my old man's side. Apparently, she got into a fight with her husband and decided to run away to spite him. Being the drama queen she is, she decided to involve their kid in her petty "revenge" - so wouldn't you know that it's just my luck that she decided to leave him outside of my living quarters. And, well, to get more to the point - she dumped her kid on me. The problem is that her husband left to go on a mission the same day she did this, so I can't even give the kid to him. And right now, with all the reports I have to write up and the problems we've been having with that terrorist group in Sudan, I just don't have time. In fact, I'm on my way right now to a briefing. Sousuke, I swear, it'll only be one week."

All the words of complaint and desperation came flooding out of Mao, and Sousuke had a hard time following.

"What I mean to say is - Sousuke, I want you to take care of this kid while I'm gone. His name is Baby Moesuke - at least, that's what his mother calls him. And I won't take no for an answer."

Sousuke didn't know what to think. Or perhaps a more accurate way of putting it would be that he didn't have time to think. Seizing on his hesitation, Mao quickly transferred a plastic bag into Sousuke's hand. She cheerfully explained that the bag contained supplies (including a how-to manual for taking care of a baby) which she picked up on her way to the apartment, and they were to be used for taking care of the baby. She then transferred Baby Moesuke into Sousuke's arms. Clapping her hands together and sheepishly thanking Sousuke for his trouble, the Second Lieutenant made her way out of his apartment, leaving a completely baffled Sousuke.

Sousuke looked down, and his eyes met with the baby he was awkwardly holding.

"Mama!" Came the reply from a very happy baby.

Sousuke looked away, flustered. He was unsure of how to respond. He had never been taught the protocol of how to properly address a baby, or even how he should expect the baby to address him. He got the feeling that it wasn't supposed to be "Mama."

"Listen Baby Moesuke, from now until the end of this week, you have been placed under my watch. Here and for this duration, you are to address me as Sergeant. Am I understood?"

"Mama!" came the reply from the very happy baby.

It looked to be rather hopeless. The subject was not listening to him at all.

Of course, it only took a moment for Sousuke to realize that proper naming protocol was not the most important issue at the moment. A horrible stench assailed Sousuke's nostrils. This stench was reminiscent of Soman nerve gas. Shit. At a time like this? Holding the subject close to him, Sousuke threw himself to the ground and rolled. He quickly made his way to the bedroom, and hid under the bed. Several minutes passed with no movement. And why was it that under the bed the smell was far more concentrated?

Baby Moesuke seemed to be finding the situation very amusing. He giggled a lot, which made Sousuke want to hit him for constantly threatening their cover.

Several more minutes passed. Was Sousuke wrong? He cautiously made his way out from under the bed. Odd, the smell is actually less concentrated out here. It was after Sousuke looked down and inspected the baby in his arms that he realized his apartment had not been under attack. It also became clear to Sousuke that the subject was not, in fact, wearing brown pants. Perhaps this explained why Mao was holding the subject by the waist, instead of from the bottom the way Sousuke was.

Sousuke never had to deal with someone who defecated without care. He decided that the best course of action before doing anything would be to refer to the special manual Mao left behind. After all, it would be unwise to dive into action without any knowledge. Taking precautions like this are what determine the difference between life and death on the battlefield. Unfortunately, the manual was quite thick, and it took Sousuke five hours to go through the entire thing. It was also far more confusing than any textbook he had read during his time at Jindai High. By the time he finished it, Baby Moesuke started to cry, and was crawling around the apartment. Huge, lumpy trails of brown followed his path.

Worst of all, Baby Moesuke was now in such a crabby mood that it would take Sousuke another two hours of effort to clean him up and put the special "diaper" garment on.

It was going to be a long week for Sousuke.