Harry Potter
Harry was sitting on the steps to Hogwarts, smoking weed.
"Hey, Harry," said Ron, using a stupid voice and wearing a hoody cap.
"Sup?" Harry replied.
"I was just makin' out with your mom, man!" Ron exclaimed.
"Uww," the two yelled. Harry then resumed smoking his sweet weed.
It wasn't always like this: Harry and Ron used to be brave, courageous wizards who stood for truth and justice...
Last week...Harry was laying in bed, kissing Ron. Whoah!
The week before that week... Harry was laying in bed, kissing Hermone, and crying. Uhhh
The month before that week...Harry sat at a desk in Hogwartz, holding a porno magazine over the spell book he was reading.
"Hey, Harry," said Ron's sister.
Harry's glasses point forward.
"Hey, you're kinda smart, right?" Ron's sister asked.
"I...I guess," Harry replied. "You're like...related to Ron, right?"
"I am his sister," Ron's sister answered. "So, yeah, kinda. So...You wanna study some spells n' crap?"
"Sure," Harry replied. "Lemme just take take of Fagred." The wizard then shot a magical blast at Hagrid, causing him to catch fire.
"Ahhh!" Hagrid screamed as he stepped back, batting at the flames on his chest. The man then backed into a window, which shattered. Hagrid fell out of the twentieth story floor, screaming loudly.
"Let's go," Harry said.
Scene transition: Harry's lightning bolt scar zooms into the camera while Batman music plays.
Library..."What do you mean you don't have any books on sex?" Ron screamed at the librarian. The teen then growled, knocked the books off the counter, then turned around, pulled his fist back, and punched McGunnigle, knocking her head off.
"Hey, Ron," Hermone greeted.
"White girl," Ron greeted back.
That night, the students burned all the spell books in a bonfire.
"Let's party!" Dumbledorph screamed.
"Yeah!" all the students screamed. A couple of stripper girls danced on stage while all the boys cheered for the beautiful men dancing in their underwear on stage.
"Ah! Ahhh!" Harry screamed as he lifted up a small weight with his legs.
"Come on, Harry," Ron cheered his friend on.
"Ah! Two!" Harry yelled.
Later..."Those guys think they're such bad girls, throwing soap and water," said Dumbledorph. "A real bad girl...throws bleach."
"He just threw bleach on me!" Ron yelled. "He threw bleach on me!"
"Emergency!" Harry yelled, setting off the Bleach alarm, which sounded a siren off all around the campus.
"Hurry!" Ron called. "Straight up bleach, straight up bleach."
Power Shower..."Ahhhh!" Ron screamed. "Ahh ahh! Ahhhh!"
"Hang in there, Ron," Harry comforted his friend. The teen then sniffled, and whiped a tear from his eye.
"He's gonna be okay, Harry," Dumbledorph comforted the boy.
"You think so?" Harry replied.
"I know so," Dumbledorph comforted.
The students of Hogwarts waited in the Grand Waiting Room, eagerly awaiting the results.
Serious Black walked out of the operating room. "I'm sorry," he said, his voice grave.
All the students dropped their heads.
"...He made it!" Serious screamed.
Streamers fell from the ceiling as the students jumped up and started dancing. Ron ran out of the operating room, screaming and waving his fists.
"Ron...is gorgeous," Harry said in an interview. "He just has this great butt...and this great personality. It's just...sexy."
The teens and Dumbledorph cheered, holding up a large trophy.
"Dumbledorph, you've just won the Harry Bowl, what are you gonna do now?" asked some man.
"Om goin' tuh Disney Land!" Dumbledorph yelled.
"Yeah!" everyone screamed. Fireworks then went off.