I do not own NCIS, Gibbs, or any government agencies. If I did, I would have already finished conquering the world.

I do not own Abby. If I did, I would know who took my favorite pen.

I do not own Ziva. This is obvious. I'm still alive.

I do not own any of the people appearing on the show, NCIS, or the show itself.

I do not own the Rules of Gibbs.

I do own coffee.