"Almost Lover"

~rorudesu-chan~

A messenger enters. He bows and gives respect to the great king of Nihilsomno. He's only half his own age, the man thinks, and yet he is compelled to show courtesy before the figure sitting in the throne. Questions and curiosity fill his head, but he shakes them all away. After all, he was not sent to Nihilsomno for the first time to ask how a teenage boy came to power. He was sent to the enemy kingdom for a much more important task – a matter of life and death, that is to say.

"My lord," he begins, "I bring a message from the Queen of Tenebrae."

"Proceed," the king replies; a hand pressed against the right side of his face.

The messenger slowly lifts his head and sees the king sitting in an un-kingly manner – one which he was not familiar of as he was accustomed to seeing kings seated attentively before anyone speaking in his presence, be it a poor, low-ranked person. The messenger ignores it and tries to remind himself that he was sent to the enemy kingdom to relay a very important message in which the reply determines the state of the treaty.

"My lord," he begins once more, "Before I restate Her Majesty's message, she asks of me that I humbly apologize for getting straight to the point. She said that she'd rather have her thoughts spoken in a straightforward manner, with no fancy words whatsoever beautifying her mess—"

"What is her reply to my proposal?" the king cuts him off. He, too, did not need any fancy words shrouding the path to the core of her message.

"Her answer is," he hesitates for a moment, fearing to disappoint the king. "'No', my lord."

The king sits straight up. "What else did she say?"

"She says that even if her answer costs her own life, she is willing to pay that price. Whole-heartedly willing."

As soon as the messenger stood to his feet, he turns around and watches as the young king hastily walks to the door.

"I'll have to see her and hear her true answer myself," the king declares as the huge door shuts behind him. The messenger frowns at the young boy's decision knowing that he could not stop him from doing what he wanted. Not because he was king, but because even if he tried to he could never reason against the heart of a man who still secretly loved his queen.

oOo

The dust slowly cleared away. What was left in the asphalt road were shattered concrete from the final blow that managed to send the Behemoth to oblivion. Luckily, she came just in time to save his life.

She turned around, sensing a pair of crimson eyes staring at her. She knew he would be surprised, no, baffled. He had known that she was killed when she battled against the Minister who was responsible for her kingdom's havoc. He had painfully accepted that fact and he tried to kill as well, the emotions that were raging and tearing him apart inside. And when the moment came when he finally learned to accept her death – that moment when the Behemoth was about to send him to the place where he thought he could meet her again – she reappears, right before his very eyes, alive and strong enough to slice the wretched summoning in half.

He needs an explanation, her heart cried. But it was that look in his face that frightened her. How could she ever explain to him that it was the Light that had brought her back to life after Mauritius impaled a small dagger through her chest? He disliked talking about the Light. He always believed that it was just there to cause you trouble by separating you from others – by being different, in that sense. But she, however, believed the opposite. Though she could not put a finger on it until now, she always believed that the Light was there to be seen by only a selected few, for a purpose. That purpose, she now thought, has most likely been revealed.

The crimson hue disappeared from his eyes as did the rune on his back. She was at last staring again into the deep blue eyes of the beautiful prince. Although it was not enough to erase the fear that told her he would never forgive her for lying like that to him and to everyone else. She was aware of the trouble she had caused to those who loved and supported her. And so, with heaviness in her heart, she looked away and released her rapier back to where her rune also vanished into.

"Why… are you here?" he asked. The mere sound of his voice was enough to weaken her on the knees. She could run away, knowing that she could never answer him without including the topic of the Light in her reply. Or… she could stay, face his wrath now and ask for forgiveness later.

She chose to stay – for him, not wanting cause any more trouble.

"I don't really know," she answered, looking up at the night sky. "But it's the power from that Light that gave me another chance…" she glanced back at him, "to still live, maybe."

The breeze of the tumultuous night blew her flaxen hair to the sides. When she turned her back on him and started walking away, his mind flashed a piece of memory before his eyes: that night when she was killed, he watched the same figure walking away from him. That memory haunted him in the days after he found out about her death. He thought he would never get over it until tonight when he saw her saving his life – something which he should have done to her first instead. The memory disappeared and what replaced it was a reality right before his face. A reality he realized that he must now protect with everything he had.

She heard quick footsteps and before she could look at where it was coming from, a pair of arms strongly snared around her as if they were hanging on for dear life. The embrace – his embrace – was so tight that she could hardly breathe. She wanted to tell him to loosen his hold but she was afraid that he would loosen to the point that he would let go. She did not want that at all. So instead of using words to communicate her discomfort, she gently wriggled within his arms until he finally understood that she was choking from his affection and needed to slightly relax his hold.

"Noct…" She closed her eyes, feeling his warm embrace. She realized that he was breathing at her nape and she was feeling that too.

"Stella," he whispered. "Don't ever…"

She waited for him to continue his words but as soon as she felt something warm and wet trickling one by one on her back, she immediately understood what he wanted to say. 'Don't ever… joke around like that again', or 'Don't ever… run after a madman again just to get yourself killed', or… She ran out of other possible thoughts which could exactly be the words that he could no longer say. But whatever he still wanted to, it did not matter as much as what he had said first because she knew by heart that she would never dare to break his heart again.

"I won't, ever." She assured him as she held tightly onto the trembling arms secured around her.

oOo

The melody filling the air was weakening his entire body. The words dancing in his ears were shattering his heart. He secretly arrived by the time she was singing the refrain part to herself:

But I never wanna see you unhappy,

I thought you'd want the same for me.

The pitch now turns slightly higher than the refrain of the song. He could feel that as the song progresses, the tune she was playing on the piano was bound to become sadder. And he was right.

Goodbye my almost lover

Goodbye my hopeless dream

I'm trying not to think about you

Can't you just let me be?

So long my luckless romance

My back is turned on you

Should've known that you'd bring me heartache

Almost lovers always do

He is hypnotized as before, by her sweet voice to which he has never found any other comparison with. He tries to block his ears from hearing this song he once heard. But it was no use, the song passed through, hitting him where it hurt the most. Her angelic voice makes this experience even more painful as he could feel that she was singing with honesty. Perhaps, the messenger, who told him her answer, was really saying the truth. Perhaps, she really did not want to cooperate with him in saving her life. She did not want to abandon her kingdom, fight against him, pretend to be killed by him and fake her own death once more. She wanted to face… what Nihilsomno wanted from her, what the treaty is doing to her and what the Light needed her to do someday.

She was not going to run away like him. She was going to face the hatred of the world, head-on and with open arms – even if she knew that it was Mauritius' fault why everyone except her own kingdom, now thinks that she had caused the war. If only Mauritius was still alive so he himself could impale his heart the way he did hers, only a thousand times worse. The Council of Nihilsomno rejected his pardon – a king's pardon of lessening the death penalty of Queen Fleuret to banishment from her own kingdom – since if it was a penalty upon a sovereign's head, it was out of the king's hands to justify the case because the final decision was made only by the Seven Councils. And so far, six called upon her death for treason against the six other kingdoms.

He then thought of a plan in order to protect her and keep her alive at any cost: she would fight him and pretend to die by his sword. After everyone is tricked by her death, she will be taken by his most trusted courtiers to the Eighth Kingdom to live the rest of her life in secrecy. The Eighth Kingdom is owned by Nihilsomno, and as king, he is completely capable to come to the island whenever he wishes to and for whatever reason that need not be asked by anyone at all.

His plan to save her would have been perfect if it were not for her refusing it. Did she want to throw her life away after he pleaded her with silent tears that night she came back alive? He walks out of his hiding as he realizes that she has hit the last note of the song on the piano.

"You let me finish the piece," she says without turning around in her seat to see who revealed himself from the shadows.

"There's a story behind this song," he replies, "You told it to me once."

"And do you still remember it?" Her eyes gaze on the reflection of the moon upon the piano's glossy top. The fingers of her left hand slide lightly upon the white keys while she waited for his response.

"I don't," he bluntly admits, "Sorry."

She hits the two last keys of the lowest scale. "Of course you don't," she chuckles, "Because I never told it to you."

With her back still facing him, she unknowingly earns a small smirk from his face. "Tell me then, the story behind the song."

"Tell me first why you decided to intrude my home."

"This isn't your home anymore, Queen Stella. You belong in the palace now."

She quickly rises to her feet, her back still turned on him. "It is my home, and no one, not even a king like you can tell me whether or not this house is still my home."

There was a sudden silence. She wonders if the tone of her voice sent him away. But she is mistaken as there were footsteps growing louder as its owner was coming closer. Again, she did not need to turn around, even this time, to see how close he was behind her. She could just simply feel him, just as long as it was him.

"Why?" he whispers in her right ear. One word was enough to make her heart beat so wildly.

"Because…" she takes a deep breath before answering him completely, "Because if I choose to comply to your request, you become my enemy as well and—"

"—and not your lover?"

She shrugs.

"Is that what the song was about?"

"You may take it that way."

"But we were, my Queen, we were—maybe, we still we are. We were never just 'almost'."

"Then pardon the lyrics and answer this question instead."

"Go ahead."

At his permission, she turns around and finally meets the face that his heart longed to see after such a long, unbearable time. The same face, the same beautiful face. But this time, as he was looking deep into her crystal blue eyes, there is sadness and loneliness, the same kind as his. He wonders if she could see it too as she gazes back at him.

He realizes that the length of their separation has caused her this silence and made her stare instead at his eyes, his nose, his hair and his lips – something he knew he was doing at the moment, but was quicker in realizing it first. "What's your question?" he asks and smiles.

She shakes her head and glances away, "My question," she feels her cheeks warm up.

"Ask me anything and I'll answer truthfully."

She looks back at him. Without any hesitations, she holds his face and presses her lips on his. She pulls back gently and with eyes closed, she says, "Now, answer that question."

He leans to return a reply but she quickly tilts her head to one side. "Not like that."

"What do you want me to do?" he frowns.

"Answer it in the way that you know would please me."

He gently holds her by the chin and tries to search for the answer in her eyes. He does not see anything until she closes them and a single tear runs down her right cheek.

"No," he breathes. "No."

She brings his hands to her face. "You have to. Just let go like the way you did when I first died."

"You promised me that you would never—"

"We all leave this world eventually, my King."

He pulls his hands from her face and steps aside. "Even if that's the case, you still don't have to sacrifice yourself for the peace of the kingdoms. It was never your fault!"

"It wasn't," she walks to him and takes his left arm. "It never will be. But for the sake of ending this war…" she pauses. "I promise, one life, and that's all."

"I don't care how many lives will be sacrificed; I don't care even if it's mine, as long as it's not yours."

"Ssshh," she kisses his forehead and brings his face to her chest. "Can you hear that? A queen's heartbeat is no different from a king's. Though we rule different lands, we live the same by following what's inside our hearts. Do you know what it's telling me right now? It's telling me that that isn't how a king should speak nor think."

The sound of her beating heart – the heart that had always confessed its love to him before – calmed him down. He feels like it was the only thing in the world aside from her that could give him peace and pure happiness. He could never imagine what his life would be like if she will be taken away from him again.

She lifts his head off her though she felt in her hands that he wanted to stay right there. She gives him another kiss on his forehead before giving another on his lips.

"Is there truly nothing more I can do?" his voice quivers.

She feigns a smile and shakes her head. "But there is something you can do for me, tonight only."

He takes her hands, holding it tightly between his. He asks what he could do for her and for this night only – as if it was not obvious to him at all.

"Respond to this kiss," she presses her lips to his again, "the way you see as fitting."

With a nod, he scoops her off her feet and carries her outside the piano room.

oOo

The sunlight hits her closed eyes. Her arms try to embrace the figure that promised her would wake up with her in the morning. But there is no one there. She sits up and uncovers the sheets. She searches the floor: there was no trace of his clothes. She lies back on the bed, breathless, wondering where the king could be. Her left hand clutches the empty side beside her and she finds herself grasping a scrap of paper. She reads it with haste and recognizes the curve of the letters. He always made his handwriting seem as if he was always in a hurry.

"Forgive me. But if I were to listen to the heart of the king in me, as you asked, I will not be able to please you for now."

He leaves the note unsigned, certain that she would know who wrote it. And she did. She gets up quickly, puts on her clothes lying on the floor and leaves the sanctuary in a flash. She teleports from place to place, places where he could, places where he shouldn't be. She has to hurry, if she were to save his life and sacrifice her own.

Author's Note: First things first, STANDARD DISCLAIMER on this fic, applies, especially A Fine Frenzy's "Goodbye my Almost Lover" lyrics.

Well, it has been a long time since I've published anything here in fanfiction(dot)net. Actually, it's been a long time since I' did anything here at all. (Save for updating my profile every now and then and changing my profile picture) I apologize if I haven't been active especially at the forums lately, especially to Warangel88. Really sorry, friend! :( I was busy with a lot of schoolwork. And I still probably am... I miss everyone in the War's forum, btw! Hugssss!

Anyhow, if anyone asks, this is a one-shot only fanfic. *smiles* I seem to be pretty bad in handling my obligations here in fanfiction. In truth, this fanfic was actually written a month ago. A result of watching too much Shakespeare Romance tragedies and too much craving for Versus XIII! A bad combination, I say. I planned to publish this the moment I finished it but I had exams, so yeah, it was delayed.

I hope the reader/s of this piece enjoyed the plot, though I know there are still some parts needing a tweak. I appreciate REVIEWS and any comments or suggestions. It'll really help me get in the right track. Ciao, everyone~ :)