This is a Harry/Draco songfic based around the Flyleaf song "Red Sam"

Just a little one shot while I'm deciding what to do in Troubled Waters. Yup, still struggling there.

WARNING: started at half 2 in the morning so may make no sense/have multiple errors, contains: domestic violence and bad language. Bit of Ginny bashing thrown in to make up for bad times (Oh how I hate her). Also- slight AU, established friendship D/H. Please don't read if any of these will upset you. Rated M for themes.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own the lyrics (in italics), the characters or any of the locations mentioned below. This is non-profit and no infringement is intended. ^_^ (wish I did own Draco though, the sexy beast)

RED SAM

Here I stand
Empty hands
Wishing my wrists were bleeding
To stop the pain from the beatings

Harry sank down onto his bed.

He had to admit he was ashamed of himself. He Accio-ed a mirror and examined the rapidly colouring bruise around his right eye. He touched it lightly, wincing at the pain. He winced again as the glass in the front door shattered as Ginny slammed it on her way out.

It was 14 years after the war. Harry had spent 3 years in Aurora training and the last 11 rapidly climbing the ranks. He'd married Ginny, they now lived in a medium sized house in Wales. They'd not had any children.

That was the cause of the current fight. The cause of most of them.

Ginny blamed Harry for their lack of children. Said it was his job, the exposure to so much magic, the stress, that was giving them problems. She refused to believe otherwise. That explained the move to Wales, to the more menial jobs that Harry hated.

They'd been happy at first, of course. But somewhere down the line, around Ginny's 25th birthday, the fights had started. Ginny desperately wanted a baby, in a way that Harry struggled to quite understand. This lack of perfect comprehension, Harry's long hours at the Ministry, and their numerous failed attempts lead to a great deal of tension between the young Potter's. Initially they had both shouted at one another. Bellowing loud enough for the neighbours to become concerned, especially when Ginny had begun throwing things. They'd had six windows repaired in as many weeks during a particularly nasty case of Harry's that had kept him at the Ministry until the early hours of the morning nearly every day.

Harry snapped out of his thoughts as one of the Weasley owls rocketed through the smashed window in the front door and dropped a Howler in Harry's lap. The owl made a hasty retreat as the Howler burst into life. Harry sighed as Molly's livid rant filled the room. Ginny had gone straight back to the Burrow. Of course...

Harry phased out of the room a little, the sound of Molly's tirade fading to a sort of buzzing in the back of Harry's head.

Ginny had turned thirty last year. That's when things had really changed. After her birthday party, they'd had a particularly unsatisfactory shag, that had lasted far too long for Harry. When Ginny realised that he had lost interest in her, they'd had a row of biblical proportions. Very few plates, windows or bottles of elfin wine left from her birthday survived that day. That was the first time she hit him. He was so shocked he didn't know what to do. He stood there, completely speechless, blood pouring from his split lip and his eye swelling slowly, as she stormed out of the front door and even as he heard the crack of her Apparating from the front step.

After that, every fight ended with Harry bleeding. After too many awkward questions from Hermionie as she healed his wounds, he started to heal himself, not that he was any good at it. After he reset his nose wrong and ended up at St. Mungo's having it fixed, he gave up healing himself and let things heal naturally.

Sometimes, Ginny would come home crying, begging his forgiveness. Sometimes she wouldn't come home for days at a time. Howlers from Molly were fairly regular. Ginny always made it sound like it was Harry's fault. The first time she had appeared at the Burrow with blood on her shirt was the worst Howler Harry had ever recieved. Then entire street had heard her accusing him of hitting her. Time and again Harry let her back in, forgave her and let her heal the worst of his injuries. Time and again he went to work the next morning with a new bruise or cut. His colleagues had stopped mentioning it after a while. Harry reasoned that if he persevered and managed to give her what she wanted, the beatings would stop. He loved her, he had no other choice.

There you stood
Holding me
Waiting for me to notice you

But who are you
You are the truth (you are the truth)
Outscreaming these lies
You are the truth (you are the truth)
Saving my life

"Come on Potter, let's get you a drink. You look bloody terrible,"

Harry looked up to see a beaming Draco Malfoy standing above his desk. He managed a slight smile.

"I can't Malfoy. I need to get home."

"The Weaslette pussy-whipping you again Potter?" Draco sneered, half laughing.

"Don't call her that," Harry said stubbornly, glaring at his partner.

"Sorry Harry" Draco grinned at the man below him. He was genuinely sorry, but not for calling his horrible wife names.

Draco had been partnered with Harry very early in both their careers. The animosity between them during school had only faded a little since before the war, and they still bickered like children in the beginning. But they had been a very good team, even Kingsley had admitted that. Stubbornly admitted mind you, since both younger men were being treated for cuts and bruises from a particularly nasty argument, that had started because Draco wouldn't admit that Harry had caught more of the gang of criminals that had successfully arrested.

They'd laughed about it afterwards though, he and Harry. They's gone to the Leaky Cauldron for a celebratory drink of five. They'd stumbled out of the pub together, some 4 hours later, laughing so hard they could barely walk, although, it might have been the firewhiskey. After that, the former enemies became friends. They still bickered, of course, by from friendly competition rather than dislike of each other.

The years after this had not only advanced them both up the ranks, and Draco in social standing, but brought them much closer. Harry rarely saw Ron now, since the fights with Ginny had started, so Draco had happily taken his place as Harry's wing man.

Harry sighed

"I could do with a drink," he said, pinching the bridge of his nose to relieve some tension. He no longer needed his glasses as Hermionie had developed a spell as a Healer that had returned his sight to perfect. Draco smiled, remembering the day that Harry had come to work without his glasses, remembering the jolt of electricity through his core as he'd met those bottomless pools of emerald. He'd almost lost his mask of indifference then, almost leaped into Harry's lap.

"Come on then Potty," Draco laughed, pulling Harry from behind his desk. Ten minuted later, they were in the Cauldron, glasses in hand. They settled themselves at their favourite table that allowed a perfect view of the entirety of the bar. Aurora's habit Draco guessed. The light in this corner wasn't particularly bright, but Draco could clearly see the newest bruise around Harry's face. It pained him to remember the number of bruises he'd seen on the poor man before him. He noticed a scratch on his neck that hadn't been there yesterday and he sighed. No matter how many lies Harry told him about the marks, Draco knew the truth. He knew what that horrible woman was doing to him and wished he could stop it.

He'd realised he loved the brunette some time before the beating had started. They'd been on a raid. Draco and Harry had entered the building at the back as Weasley and Blaise had gone through the front. They were trying to flush out a nest of known Death Eater sympathisers, having finally discovered their location. It had been a hard battle, but they managed to catch every one of the criminals in the building. As he and Harry were guarding the other prisoners while Ron and Blaise escorted two back to the Ministry, a man had leaped out at them from where he had hidden during the raid. Harry had flung a shielding charm so rapidly over Draco that he had forgotten himself and he did not have time to react as the Death Eater had cast a nasty charm at him. Luckily it was off target enough that it did not kill him instantly. Draco immobilised the criminal a fraction of a second too late.

Draco had waited for 18 hours at St. Mungo's, even when Ginny turned up and kept giving him funny looks. It had been a close call for a while. Harry's wounds just refused to heal fast enough to stop him bleeding to death. The Healers had managed to get him stable eventually, but Draco was distraught still. He felt so guilty. He watched as Ginny was allowed in to see him and a bolt of pure hatred coursed through him. He knew in that moment he would never let Harry down again. He would love him until the earth stopped turning.

Harry hadn't come back to work for three months. Draco had spent the entire time completely depressed. He stayed in his office and refused to go out on field work without his partner. His Harry. He knew it was ridiculous, but he couldn't help himself. Harry was everything to him now.

Once Harry finally returned Draco watched him carefully, ready to protect him with his life, ready to catch him when he fell.

Then the beatings started.

Intially Draco hadn't noticed, but it slowly dawned on him that something wasn't right. Harry had stopped laughing, he walked slowly, curled in on himself. The change was so gradual that on one else noticed it. Then Weasley had confronted him about his horrible wife. Poor Harry had stood there listening to his best friend yell at him, publicly disown him, and said nothing. Draco had been livid. He was even more so when Harry kept going back to Ginny for more. He decided he would wait for his partner to come to him, to tell him his problems. But Harry continually avoided the subject. Him and his bloody martyrdom.

Still Draco waited.

The warmth of your embrace
Melts my frostbitten spirit
You speak the truth and I hear it
The words are I love you
And I have to believe in you

But who are you
You are the truth (you are the truth)
Outscreaming these lies
You are the truth (you are the truth)
Saving my life

"So Harry, how's the house coming? Many more repairs?" Draco asked, keeping up the 'decorating the house that's why there's glass and broken crockery on the floor' pretense.

"Hmm? Oh yeah, the house is going good. I think I made extra work for myself though."

"Oh?"

"Yeah I had a tantrum of almost your standard and broke some things last night'" Harry laughed sheepishly.

Draco's jaw tightened at the obvious lie. He sighed. Time for a nudge in the right direction he decided.

"Harry, please stop lying to me."

"What do you mean? I've never lied to you!"

"Harry, please. Don't insult me with this."

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Harry stood up abruptly, drawing the attention or near-by tables. He sat back down, blushing and lowered his voice. "Sorry."

"I know what she does to you." Draco said, very quietly. Harry blanched.

"W-what did you say?" his voice started to build again. Draco looked at him, pleading. Harry mistook the look for pity and something snapped. He hated pity.

Harry shook with the effort of not shouting, or crying, he wasn't sure which, and leaned to whisper in Draco's ear.

"Don't you dare pity me" he hissed. He stormed from the pub. Draco stared after him, blinking a couple of times before he leaped from his seat and sprinted after him through the icy cold night. He knew Harry well, he knew he wouldn't Apparate if he was angry.

As usual, Draco was right and he caught up with Harry fairly quickly.

"I'm sorry Harry. I don't pity you, if that makes it better."

Harry stopped in his tracks and turned to face his partner. Draco could see the tears building behind his eyes.

"I don't pity you Harry. I want- need to protect you from her, from everything." Harry remained silent. A single tear rolled down him cheek. Draco's breath caught in his throat and he reached up, catching the tear with his thumb. He left his hand on Harry's cheek, feather light for a long moment, trying to read his eyes, before releasing him, defeated.

"Dray, what are you saying?" Barely a whisper, but Draco heard the tremor in Harry's words, so close to breaking. He drew the smaller man into a hug, holding the brunette tightly to his chest.

"Please don't cry Harry, please. I couldn't bear it," Draco murmured into Harry's hair. Harry's body shook with a huge shuddering sob and he took a deep breath. He pulled away enough to look Draco in the eyes.

"What are you saying Dray?" he asked again. He held Draco's gaze, the blonde was unable to look away from the eyes he adored so much. Draco rested his forehead against Harry's and his eyes fluttered shut. He took a deep breath.

"I'm telling you, Harry, that despite our past, the pain we've caused each other in the last twenty years, despite everything, I cannot see the woman hurt you any longer. I can't bear to see you hurting, ever again. I'm telling you, no matter how crazy it sounds, that I love you. Harry James Potter, I love you more than I thought possible." Draco sighed and pulled away from Harry, expecting the man to hit him or curse him. He looked up and gasped as he saw the tears streaming silently down Harry's pained face.

My hands are open
And you are filling them
Hands in the air
In the air, in the air, in the air

"Harry?" Draco whispered holding out his hands slightly, as if to pull the brunette to his chest again. Draco was unsure who moved first, but suddenly Draco was hugging Harry tightly to his chest, the poor man shuddering and sobbing into his neck.

Draco quickly Apparated them both back to his flat to get them out of the cold. Harry pulled away from him, looking apologetic. Draco almost rolled his eyes as he turned to light the fire. He lead Harry to the sofa in his comfortable living room as the fire warmed them slowly.

"Don't look at me like that Harry," his tone a little harsher than he had intended. "You don't need to be sorry," more soothing this time. He took the brunette's face in his hands and gently wiped the tears from his flushed cheeks.

"Dray..."

"Harry, please... don't" Harry flinched a Draco brushed his bruised eye.

"Let me heal that for you, please?" barely a whisper. Harry nodded ever so slightly, not wanting to end the contact of Draco's slender hands catching his tears and holding him together. Draco did not reach for his wand, instead he leaned slowly closer, kissing Harry's cheekbone lightly. He heard Harry's breath hitch ever so slightly. Draco released Harry's face and heard a slight whimper.

They looked at each other for a very long moment. Draco opened his mouth to speak, but thought better of it. After a heartbeat Harry's lips came crashing down on his own, fresh tears spilling from the brunette as he kissed him. Harry's hands slipped to the back of Draco's neck, pulling him closer. Draco pulled the smaller man into his lap, returning the messy kisses, needing Harry as much as Harry needed him. His strong hands running up Harry's back, pulling him tighter to his chest again.

They pulled apart suddenly, both gasping for air.

"Dray-" Harry's voice was thick from the tears he had just shed, but there was an edge to it that Draco had never heard before. Silver met emerald as they looked each other, Harry still in Draco's lap, their arms tangled around each other. Harry started, as if realising when he was suddenly. He shot from Draco's lap, but Draco's grip on his wrist stopped him bolting any further.

"Harry, we need... to talk about this..." Harry sank into the seat beside Draco. The blonde could see the tears building again, but there was fear in Harry's eyes too.

"I'm s-s-sorry Dray, I just- I don't know what-" Harry took a deep shuddering breath and closed his eyes, holding back the tears.

"Harry, please. You don't need to be sorry. I just want to make you happy. Hey-" Draco lifted Harry's chin gently, willing the man to look at him. "Please Harry, let me love you?"

And I worship
And I worship
And I worship

You!

You are the truth (you are the truth)
Outscreaming these lies
You are the truth (you are the truth)
Saving my life

My first songfic and its a bit of a mammoth...

I cried so hard writing this, I hope you did too ^_^ (not in a sadistic way, but... well, y'know what I mean)

Please review, as I would like to know if you think the song meshed with the story well etc. I have ideas for a couple of others, but I'm not sure yet.

Yes I know, I should be writing Troubled Waters =[

-Aurora.