First, a very naff epigraph courtesy of REO Speedwagon:

And even as I wander

I'm keeping you in sight

You're a candle in the window

On a cold, dark winter's night

And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might

And I can't fight this feeling anymore

I've forgotten what I started fighting for

It's time to bring this ship into the shore

And throw away the oars, forever

Chapter One

The shaman's drink was still flowing through my system. The whole world was awash with colour and although I wasn't feeling nauseous anymore, I was dizzy as hell and I really needed to lie down.

Jason was gripping my arm. 'Come on Sookie, let's get you home.'

But I could barely move without feeling horrible. 'Oh no, I think I might be sick again from the movement of the car.'

Alcide had been listening to our exchange. 'Jason, I've got a spare bedroom upstairs. Take her up there, and I'll drive her home tomorrow morning. Third door on the left at the top of the stairs. Sookie, you're welcome to stay. It's the least I can offer, after what you've done for the pack tonight.'

Alcide was still blazing red. I giggled like a schoolgirl. 'Thanks Alcide!' I swayed. Jason nodded to the packmaster and marched me forward. 'Jase, I really need some water.' He steered me into the kitchen and towards the sink and propped me up against the worktop while he filled a pint glass from the tap. I watched, mesmerized, as the water glinted and bubbled into the glass. Wow.

Then we were moving again. Up the stairs we went. Even in my drug-addled state I was aware of the splendour of my surroundings. This was the house of a very wealthy man. I still couldn't feel my legs and I was kind of gliding. Jason pushed open the door of the guest room. I made a pleasantly bouncy landing on the kingsize bed.

'Sook, I gotta leave you now. Will you be OK, you know, undressing?'

I didn't have much of a choice. 'Sure! Night big brother! Love you!'

'Love you too little sis.' He went out and closed the door behind him.

I pulled my clothes off in a daze. When I was down to my underwear, I decided that the bra was too uncomfortable to sleep in, so it came off. I pulled my t-shirt back on for the sake of decency, in case someone came in for whatever reason. Events were often unpredictable around Weres. I snuggled in under the covers and switched off the lamp on the bedside table. When I closed my eyes, the world pulsated around me. I could hear distant noises from downstairs - shouting, whimpering and snarling - but they didn't stop me from drifting into a turbulent sleep.

I got three hours and then I was awake again. The noises from downstairs had stopped, but I could see the light from the hallway coming in under the door, so I thought that someone must still be up. I turned onto my side and tried to get back to sleep. The effects of the drugs had largely worn off, leaving me just a little bit lightheaded.

After fifteen minutes or so of tossing and turning, I was agitated. I sat up and switched the lamp back on. The clock beside the bed told me that it was shortly after midnight. For the first time I fully took in the décor of the room. The ceilings were high with fancy moldings, the wallpaper was an expensive looking damask, and the throw on the big four poster bed was chenille. All of the furniture seemed to be antique.

I heard a knock on the door and a low rumbly voice. 'Can I come in?'

'Sure.' The door swung gently open and in stepped Alcide with no smile on his face. He padded over to the bed and sat on the edge.

'Thank you Sookie. You've really helped us today.' Without making eye contact, he reached out to set his hand on top of mine. A wave of tangled emotion surged down along his arm and into me. The sadness, and the loss, was overwhelming.

'Alcide,' I shifted forward on the bed and wrapped his big hand gently in both of mine. 'I can't say how sorry I am.' His relationship with Annabelle, the unfaithful partner, was over. He'd recently lost his second and on top of that, another two of his pack members had died tonight. It didn't matter that they'd lost their lives at the hands of the pack for being traitors. Their loss was still strongly felt.

He met my gaze and I could see that he had been crying. There was so much regret in those glistening green eyes. The heat emanated from him. In fact, the whole room seemed warmer with him in it.

'Sookie, we're supposed to be looking after you. You never ask for our help. Why is that?'

'I don't know. I guess I usually just happen to be in the company of someone who can protect me on the occasions when I'm in mortal danger. Like Eric.'

There was another outpouring of emotion. This time, it was something irrationally close to jealously.

'Sookie, I know you probably don't want my opinion...' There was a pause in which he seemed to struggle to form a sentence in the right way. He turned his body to face me. 'I just can't see you with Eric. Don't you want a husband? And babies? Because that's what I always imagined would be in your future, not wandering around in the night with a dead man.'

'I imagined those things too. But you can't help who you fall for. I guess I just didn't take that into account when I chose to be with Eric.' I shrugged.

'He tricks you into being his so-called bride and forces you into drinking his blood! He takes advantage of you!' He growled. 'It makes me so mad. Why the hell do you let him?'

'Look Alcide, butt out. What happens between me and Eric is none of your business. Why do you even give a damn?'

Then, something unexpected happened. A new image flashed through his fingers and into my mind. We were standing together at a kitchen window, flooded with sunlight. Alcide was holding me, and kissing me tenderly, and I was heavily pregnant. With his child. I gasped and withdrew my hands.

He leaned over to me. 'Sookie, please be honest with me. If you answer yes, I promise I will leave you alone and never speak of it again. Do you really love Eric?' His face was inches away from mine.

My voice faltered. 'I love certain things about him. The blood bond makes it hard to tell.' But I couldn't lie. 'No. I guess I'm not in love with Eric,' I said sadly. Although I'd known it for some time, it was still hard to say out loud.

He came slowly forward those crucial few inches and gently pressed his lips to mine. It was as sweet as our first kiss, in his apartment in Jackson. My stomach fluttered and my heart started to race. He broke away.

'It's always bad timing, isn't it?' He looked miserable. I wanted to pull him close and comfort him. I wanted to make him happy.

'I'm going to leave you to get some sleep.'

'Alright, Alcide. You know, I'm here for you if you need me.'

'Thank you Sookie. That means a lot to me.' With a hug, we said goodnight and Alcide left the room.

For the next hour or so, my mind ran through that discussion, over and over, and I cried as the full weight of what I'd sacrificed for Eric hit me like a ton of bricks.