Just A Crush

Summary: Crushes were fleeting moments of temptation that lasted for a few days, according to Sai, but not in the case of one Haruno Sakura.

Warning: This is a K-rated SasoSaku story with AU and OOC setting.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto and this story is a figment of my imagination.

Haruno Sakura had always been cautious around Sasori. She called him Sasori because she was not sure whether it was his surname or first name and it did not matter because it was not like she had any business with him.

To her, Sasori was rude, arrogant and immature, everything she didn't feel like associating with. But, he had a head full of flaming red hair like the precious rubies she only saw on the television. It was odd but natural and it was one of the two links that she could think of between the two of them, what with her roseate hair that attracted far too many unwanted attention. Secondly, they were both engineers in training studying, or working in her case, in the same engineering building although it was clear she was one level up as she was currently a postgraduate and he was still a final year student working hard on finishing his thesis.

And, that was as far as their similarities went.

It did not help that her friends were at odds end with the guy from previous group projects. It certainly did not help that he had gotten drunk that one time on one of their presentation rehearsals and she was so sleepy that she had snapped at him and the whole group to focus. But it did help that he had kept quiet sitting beside her in the van on their way to a sightseeing spot. That he had not run off like the stereotypical Suna brats who looked down on the stereotypical Konoha geeks. It was then it did not matter that he had criticised an acquaintance of hers on the very same trip.

However, it did begin to matter when her heart raced whenever he was in her vicinity. It was pure coincidence that her boyfriend was away for the year. It did not recede when she was jealous at the girl with blue hair who cut his hair for him at the small front yard outside their building and the weird relationship that the whole gang who dubbed themselves 'Akatsuki' seemed to have. It was reality slapping in her face when she realised he was possibly a year younger than her.

And it all accumulated to one late night in her school building.

The lights in one of the computer lab were still on. Curious, she peeked into the room as she passed by and was surprised to see the tuft of familiar red hair hunched over one of the computers. He seemed to have heard her coming as he turned around. She wondered why he had stayed so late but then again, it was the first time she had stayed past the usual afterhours. Then the next moment, his lips quirked at the corners and she found herself responding reflexively. It was a brief moment and it passed on as she walked through the exit. Much later on while starting her car, she thought of how he had such a beautiful smile.

The next day, she was chatting with her friend in the lab when he passed by and stopped outside the door of her lab. Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw him staring in while searching his pockets for something. Then, just as fleeting as the moment was, he had walked away, leaving her confused.

It became a habit for the next few nights. She started staying late in hopes of catching him alone without his friends and to be the receiving end of that mood-lifting smile. So addicted was she that her day felt horrible when she did not see him over a day. She was restless, trying to figure out if she had made a mistake by not turning up over the weekend. She had missed his smile but her sleeping hours were driving her into pure exhaustion. But she had made it a point to turn in at the very last day of the weekend. All for a dash of his smile. He had not seemed pleased when she avoided him in the presence of others. She wondered if he had taken it as a sign of rejection.

Resolved that he was not coming that day as well, she went into the washroom near her office to wash her face. Then as she came out, she stopped in her tracks. He was near the door of the computer room and had looked up at her at the same time. The stress from the day before instantly disappeared. She could feel her face lit up and walked briskly into her office before the huge smile gave her off.

But the euphoria died out that night. She had decided to call her boyfriend to talk about his application for another job but it led her to question their relationship.

"It's going to be another year of this. I don't think I can do this. It's very lonely." She thought of the smile on Sasori's face threatening to overwhelm the cheerful smile of her faraway boyfriend. She was unwilling to hurt two men over an overly concocted thought of hers.

"It's lonely for me too. What do you want me to do then?"

He could not come back yet and she would not move for him. She wished she had ended things when he left.

"I don't know."

Later on, she was in her office, packing her bag for the night and a little drive off the normal route home to fill up her petrol.

Was this smile worth three years of relationship?

She sighed and walked out of her office. Passing by his room, he turned around to smile at her but she was unable to comply. Instead she looked away and chewed at a corner of her lips to stop herself, from what she didn't know.

Things went downhill from there on, or so she thought. The next night he did not turn to smile at her and the night after, he was long gone before the usual time. She stood wistfully outside the open room with the lights still on. There were stationeries and bags scattered all over the tables but no one was there.

She recalled the strained conversation with her boyfriend. He had gone offline when she told him no amount of conversation would make her love him more. The fact that he was not here was making her hate him. She was lonely, so lonely.

And would this even last? The smile that gave her the courage to look forward to another day. Her best friend, Sai had said the semester ended at the end of that very month and the exams were two weeks into the following month.

One month. Just one month. She was besotted by his smile to notice the almost fatalistic ending to this non-relationship. He would be graduating and out of her life for good.

Resignedly, she switched off the lights and walked out of the building.

When she was finally in her own bed, she imagined that night he had first flashed a smile at her. She would take the first step to initiate a conversation between them, "You have a beautiful smile."

She imagined him raising his eyebrow in response but still smiling that beautiful smile.

"Why do you smile at me?" she asked, wanting to understand his smile. But he did not reply and she started to feel anger then sadness. Why was she angry at a smiling man? Would she rather he brood in her presence? Yet, it hurt to have him smile at her and she could only watch as he slipped away like the things she had forgone out of loyalty.

"Stop smiling."

She was not above begging at this point. Tears started to spill and she tried hard not to sob, "I can't do this anymore."

The man in her thoughts hugged her, trying to comfort her. He was not smiling anymore as if finally understanding the weight behind her words.

"I'm so sorry."

The next few days, she finally come to realise she had gotten her wish. He had stopped smiling or even acknowledging her. It did not make things less painful.

By the end of the week, she was so strung high on stress that she caved in immediately when Sai invited her out for dinner despite the money she was trying to save.

"So, who is this guy?"

Sai was persistent in finding out her mystery man and she was not sure he would take it lightly had he known who he was.

"He'll be gone soon so I don't intend to name him."

"Is he from our school?"

"No."

She tried not to flinch. It was not easy to lie.

"Do I know him?"

"Don't think so."

That wasn't a lie.

"Is he from Konoha?"

She was stumped for a moment and, as smoothly as she could, formed a reply, "Am I supposed to date someone who's not from Konoha?"

There were factions in this university, in this very city of Suna. The people from Konoha were foreigners to the people of Suna and the sentiments were not always warm and welcoming. She had learnt this a little too late and was stung the first time she came face to face with racism from an elderly Suna lady. But it was a lesson learnt well and she never cried after that first time. And, she never naively trusted the smiles of the people of Suna again except for him. She quickly shoved the thought away, not willing to think about it now.

Sai became very curious but left it at that. They continued their dinner over a brief discussion of Sai's current relationship with her former colleague. When they finally finished, he sent her back to the university like the perfect gentleman and offered to walk her back to her office. Sakura nearly sighed. If only he swung her way... Then again, he was more high maintenance than her.

"You know, the problem with you is that you have too many crushes. I have crushes too but it's over after a few days," they manoeuvred the steps to the engineering building side by side. She turned to smirk at him, "You said before that crushes are manifestation of what I want in my relationship but couldn't have."

"True."

"He stopped smiling at me."

"Your crush?"

"It's over already." They stopped short in front of the glass doors to their building and she searched her bag for the card to access the building after hours. She swiped the card against the machine at the side and Sai asked almost offhandedly.

"Why would you say that?"

She looked up and caught the amber eyes looking at her from inside the building just as the automatic door slid open. None of them made any move until Sakura took the first step into the building. Her gaze was determined this time.

"Because it never started."