AN: This is some random idea I came up with during band class. It was rushed so I apologize for any stupid grammar mistakes. No real slash, but if you really squint you might be able to find some.

Sometimes I like to think back to where all our silly nicknames came from. My name is Jake, which is special because most of the others lost their real name halfway through freshman year. At first, some of the seniors called me Grins, because I was so happy all the time, but it never stuck. As for the others, no such luck.

No one in the percussion section kept their names. I can barely remember most of their names.

There's Sean. I remember his name, because he didn't have a nickname until past Christmas. Most people have no clue where, "Spot" came from. Most think it was because he comes to rehearsal with a new hickey, every few days. The real reason started with his home. His parents are dirt poor. They're so poor that Spot couldn't afford to pay for the completion in sophomore year. He wouldn't have been able to go as a junior, but the rest of us chipped in and he was able to go. In a band secret Santa freshman year, Spot received some high quality, expensive drum sticks. I know nothing of percussion… anything, so I really couldn't judge how good they were, but he loved those sticks.

The sticks were dark blue with yellow spots. The other guys made fun of Spot's colorful sticks, but he didn't care. Sometime after March, the Delaney brothers were bullying Spot and broke his sticks. Spot beat them so badly that he was suspended for the rest of the year. The next year Race gave Spot some new sticks. As a friendly joke Race drew spots all over the sticks with permanent marker. Spot didn't mind; in fact that started a tradition that still carries through today. Spot's sticks always have those stupid spots on them.

Anthony Higgins is our second chair drummer. It's easy to pinpoint where his name came from. Financially, Anthony is on the opposite end of the spectrum from Spot. His parents are so rich that they practically own the school. They definitely own the school's track field. Race's dad was the star of the track team, but unfortunately Race's little height problem doesn't make him that good of a runner.

The Higgins sponsored the building of the track field and it's actually called Higgins' Track. This coupled with the betting business Race created with the track team brought Racetrack to life.

Philip doesn't have that interesting of a story. He won the pie eating contest at the club fair four years in a row. He was called Pie Eater even before that, because he used to bake pies in Home Ec instead of doing the actual assignment. He's well known for being the only person to fail that class in ten years.

Now onto the flute section. There's only one boy in the flute section, which is hardly surprising. Jonathan didn't get his name from being tenth on the school's track team. He got it by consistently rushing through almost every piece. He's gotten better with it over the years, but Mr. Denton still looks directly at him every time we have to stop because someone's rushing. And since it's usually Swifty's fault, no one ever comments.

In the clarinet section there are two guys.

David Jacobs has mostly retained his normal name, but some people still call him Mouth or The Walking Mouth. There's not much to that story. The first full band rehearsal freshman year, little Davey was stupid enough to correct the posture of the senior first chair. The situation was made even funnier when Mr. Denton agreed with him. From then on, David was Denton's favorite student.

The other clarinetist was… oh darn what was his name again. Hold on a second… there we go. Jeff was his name. No one's called him that for years. Yeah so… Jeff… came by his name because of his allergies. When we were still marching he could barely play between sneezes and coughs. Snoddy has issues with allergies in winter too, but not nearly as bad. He still hates his nickname after four years, but I think it's better than being called sneezy or coughy. That's just my personal opinion.

Moving on to the saxophones. Leonard is the first chair alto, which is really surprising. He misses weeks of practice at a time, but he's practically a musical prodigy. He plays piano, every reed instrument (even the double reed ones), and is a surprisingly good singer. This makes up for the fact that he is constantly injured. We don't know how he does it. He used to play soccer, which caused him to walk around on crutches for almost two years straight, but he quit junior year when he finally figured out he wasn't going to make in the sports world.

After he quit sports he was diagnosed with chronic tendonitis. Don't think this stopped him from getting injured anymore though. In the past two years, Crutchy's broken three bones and sprained his ankle twice.

Second chair alto is… Maurice. When you first met him, you'd really think he was the sweetest guy you've ever met. He's definitely got the sweet angelic face, but not everything the looks sweet is, or something like that. The problem with Maurice (beside the thumb sucking) is he is a complete kleptomaniac.

It's not even like he steals stuff most of the time. He'll just get bored and break into someone's band locker and leave a note saying you need to get a better lock or something like that. Sonny once told me that Snitch left a note in his locked instrument case, in his locked locker, in the locked storage room, that just said.

Dear Skitts,

I am not stalking you

Snitch

While we're talking about Sonny, let's go to the tenor saxes. Sonny's nickname would seem weird to most people. In freshman year, he got severely addicted to coffee, red bull, monster, and all things that contain sugar. He didn't bounce of the walls like some of the girls, but became so jumpy that he actually punched Dean in the face one day, because the second chair snuck up on him. The next year the teacher's wouldn't let him within ten feet of the vending machine or anything else containing sugar, so he calmed down. It's actually pretty funny looking back on that, because now he's so quiet almost depressed at times.

Second chair tenor is Dean. There is literally no story behind his nick name. Dean is Dutch so we called him Dutchy. I wished there was more to say on that subject, but it's pretty straightforward.

Our bari sax is Steve Meyers. There is a very long and complicated story behind his nickname, which I don't know. His brother Mike said it was from middle school, but I don't even know what ltey means. Some of the guys think it might have something to do with his tech knowledge. Itey is the undisputed master of computers. When the IT guys call in sick Itey is often dragged out of class to help the teacher with their computers

Alec is our lone French horn. There used to be another girl, but she quit after one semester, claiming it was far too difficult. Alec can hold pretty well on his own, considering trumpet is his first and favorite instrument. As a freshman he was the shortest (yes even shorter than Race) and didn't hit his growth spurt till spring. The other factor in his name is his eye patch. The official story is that he was flirting with some girl from across the room, and she was a bit on the blond side. She thought he was just blinking instead of winking at her. I always got the impression that he preferred Kid Blink to Alec, probably because his best friend Mike Meyers came up with it.

Our first trumpet is Max. It's pretty easy to guess where Specs comes from. He's always worn glasses even when we were in elementary school together. Specs isn't the only guy to wear glasses, but he is the only one that has severe glasses OCD. He cleans those things like every five seconds. Once Dutchy took them on a dare and Specs flipped out. Well, I guess everyone has their weakness.

Mike Meyers is the last chair trumpet. There are four or five girls in front of him, but he knows he deserves it. There's quite a bit of speculation about his name. Some say it comes from his romantic tendencies. Mike can charm a girl with just his smile, but it also helps that he has an uncanny talent for saying the right thing at the right time. Other say it's because his skins the color of oatmeal. I disagree with that; his skin's the color of a latte.

The real reason is that he sucks at trumpet. I'm sorry to put it so bluntly, but it's true. Mush comes from Denton telling him to tongue more crisply, because his playing sounded like mush. Mush makes up for it by being a fantastic dancer and singer, but there is no doubt that trumpet is not his calling.

The only senior trombonist, Jack Kelly, isn't that interesting of a story. Jack has a bizarre obsession with Santa Fe and the west. Cowboy also comes from his cowboy hat, that he always carries with him, even though he doesn't where it that often. Jack's an interesting story that I don't know, much about. I've tried asking his pal David, but for once that kid figured out how to close that loud mouth.

Our tubist, Andres, had an interesting name too. There are strict rules about being clean shaven during marching season. Very few guys had to worry about that freshman year, heck there are a bunch that don't have to worry about it now. Andres was not one of them. The girls made fun of him, blaming his "Disney prince" hair. It was true the Latino had thick dark hair that both boys and girls would kill to have.

After months of telling Andres to shave Denton started calling him a "bum in training". Everyone loved that, and mini-bum turned to Bumblets. Andres never complained, but I got the pleasure of seeing the distaste on his parent's faces when they found out what their son was called at school. Apparently, they tried to make him quit, thinking he was being picked on.

That's all my friends. I guess this is time to say goodbye; I have to get ready for the ceremony now. Wow, I never thought I'd make it all this way, but it sure has been fun.