Disclaimer:Not mine :( All Marvel's. Steve/Tony. Smutty but not super hardcore. Also, the CC series numbering system is Monty Python based - the trilogy (plus omake) is complete as posted.

CC5: Cabinet Catastrophes

by Tro

Steve drifted lazily on the edge of wakefulness and sleep, too content with the warm weight of Tony's body across his chest. He shifted his weight to settle Tony against his side and the ancient cot beneath them groaned loudly in protest.

That snapped him awake in an instant. He squeezed his eyes shut, body tensing in case this was the day the cot finally gave up the ghost. When no collapse seemed imminent, Steve cracked a cautious eye open then closed it again against the bright white lab lights. At his side, Tony stirred against him, mumbling sleepily. Steve smiled to himself and smoothed a hand along the blanket covering them.

They spent so much time crashing in the lab that sometimes Steve thought that they should just give in and get a real bed down here. Of course, that would only give Tony more of an excuse to never leave the lab. So the rickety old cot stayed.

Smiling to himself, Steve stretched, shaking off the last vestiges of sleep. Above him Tony mumbled, eyelids scrunching tight for a moment before lifting. Tony's lips curved up as he focused drowsy blue eyes on Steve's face.

"Morning," Steve murmured into the curve of Tony's ear. "Well, probably not morning any mo-"

Insistent lips covered his, smothering his words as a slightly more alert Tony twined their tongues together. Tony's hands crept up Steve's chest to curl around his shoulders. Sighing contentedly, Tony nuzzled against Steve's throat, "Technically, it's still morning. So a proper wake-up is in order."

"I see. Better get right on that, then," Steve ran a hand up Tony's thigh to grip one firm buttock and squeeze. Tony purred into the crook of his neck, hips rolling languorously under his touch.

"Mm, Steve," Tony hummed against his corded neck, tongue tracking abstract patterns across the skin.

Groaning low in his throat, Steve hooked a leg around Tony's and flipped them. The cot squealed distressingly as Steve straddled Tony's suddenly prone form.

Tony laughed breathlessly as the thin blanket settled around them again. He undulated under Steve, throwing one arm out to grope through the pile of their discarded clothes on the floor. Steve dragged his palms up Tony's sides, just hard enough not to tickle.

"Ah, hah!" Tony brandished a small bottle of lube. He squirmed more as Steve's hands trailed lower, curving around his hips. Beneath them the cot shook in protest at their every movement. "We really should just get a bed down here."

"Can't," Steve's breath hitched as Tony skimmed suddenly slick fingers along his length. He grunted as Tony closed his fist around him and gave him a few firm strokes. Damn, the man was better with his hands than anyone had the right to be. Shaking his head, Steve tried again, "You'd never- ah! Never leave the lab."

"And that's a bad thing?" Tony hiked his legs up to wrap them around Steve's waist. He was still smiling cheekily as he guided Steve into the warm, tight heat of his body.

Steve's eyes nearly rolled back in his head. His fingers clenched hard on Tony's hips as he pushed inside. So good. Always so good. Beneath him, Tony was panting, smug smile tinged with pleasure. They fit together so well. He could never get tired of this.

"I see I've rendered you speechless," Tony gasped, grinding upward to meet Steve's thrusts. His lips curved up in a mock victorious grin and there was no way Steve could let him get away with that.

Opening his mouth to set the record straight, Steve was interrupted by Peter's voice drifting in from the direction of the elevator. "Tony? Are you down here?"

A look of utter horror flashed across Steve's face. Relying on his super soldier reflexes, Steve grabbed Tony by the shoulders and flipped them, yanking the thin blanket back over them in one fluid movement. He bit back a moan as Tony's body pressed down on him, still intimately connected. Ignoring the sensation as best he could, he slammed his eyes shut and schooled his features into what he hoped looked like restful sleep.

Steve could hear Peter rounding the corner and pinched Tony to keep the man from squirming. No way was Spiderman going to believe they were just sleeping if Tony kept wiggling like that. Beneath them, the traitorous cot squeaked.

"Tony? I was wondering - oh my god!" Peter's footsteps stopped short.

Damn. They were found out. Steve sighed and cracked open an eye to look at Peter, "It isn't what you think..."

Peter cut him off, pointing wildly, "Are you guys naked? Oh, god, you are, aren't you?"

"Peter-" Steve tried to get a word in edgewise, but apparently Peter's spider-abilities included enhanced babbling as well. It really didn't help that Tony was shaking against him. He better not be laughing.

"You said I could come down any time. I didn't think-"

"Peter!"

"A little warning would be nice," Peter was whining now and Tony was definitely laughing.

Steve could practically feel the situation spiraling out of his control. "I did put a sock on the elevator door," he muttered grumpily, resisting the urge to cross his arms across his chest lest it dislodge the flimsy shield of the blanket.

"A sock?" Peter spluttered incredulously, waving his arms for dramatic effect. "A sock? How old are you? Who even does that anymore? No, wait. I don't want to know." He shook his head and turned on his heel, firmly sticking his fingers in his ears. Fleeing for the elevator, Peter rambled in an overly loud voice, "Not listening. Not thinking about you guys naked cuddling. Scarred for life. You're like, my dads." The constant prattle kept up until Steve could hear the elevator door close.

Shoulders sagging in relief, Steve took a moment to swat Tony on the back of his thigh. "That wasn't funny."

Tony grinned and propped himself up on one elbow. "Oh, I don't know about that. A sock?" He was outright chuckling now. "Really Steve, taking room etiquette tips from the Young Avengers now?"

Sighing, Steve dropped his head down onto Tony's shoulder and groaned. If he didn't distract Tony quickly, the man was never going to let him live this down.

That thought in mind, Steve crooked his fingers and began to tickle mercilessly. After all, turnabout was fair play. Tony grunted and gasped in one breath, sputtering at the sudden flurry of Steve's fingers.

Well, it wasn't quite turnabout but Steve figured it still counted as fair play.