To show his appreciation for all the things they do for him, Jim decides to treat Bones and Spock to a movie night. His idea of appreciation is a little different than his friends' however. . .
Besides foul language there really aren't any warnings. Do not own Star Trek or Clerks 2.

Movie Night Aboard the Enterprise

Mission: Movie Night

Objective: Get Bones Pissed! (Which isn't that hard, btw)

Jim Kirk walked swiftly through the halls of the Enterprise with a bowl of popcorn in one hand and a six pack of coke in the other. The crew members he passed looked on with wonder as their Captain scurried by them; a man on a mission.

The past month had been an onslaught of never ending mayhem, in which he usually found himself waking up in sick bay with an angry Bones and impassive First Officer. Now was the time to make it up to them, and he knew just the way to do it. Rounding the corner, he spotted Spock and Bones standing in front of his door, an annoyed expression on the doctor's face and a slightly befuddled one on the Vulcan's.

Jim smiled at the pair as he reached them, "So, you ready for a night of amazingness, boys?"

Spock tilted his head, examining the items Jim had with him. "Captain, 'amazingness' is not a word." Bones harrumphed when Jim shoved the bowl into his arms so he could enter the code for his room.

Inside, he set down the soda and picked up the PADD that held the list of his collection of movies. It was extremely diverse; some being from as far back as the twentieth century. He scanned through the names on the list, looking for a particular one, and smirked when he saw it. "Get comfortable, guys, because this is going to blow your mind!"

"Captain, it is not possible-" Spock began.

"You know he doesn't mean it literally, you green-blooded hobgoblin!" McCoy growled taking a long draw from his flask. Jim ignored the two and put the movie on. Then he sat down on the couch next to McCoy, offering him and Spock some popcorn. As soon as the title flashed across the screen Bones choked on the popcorn in his mouth. Jim patted his back trying not to laugh as Spock looked on emotionlessly from the chair where he sat.

Once the coughing diminished Bones glared at Jim, "You're cruel, you know that?" Jim just laughed and turned to watch the movie. Clerks 2 had been Jim's favorite ever since he saw it in high school.

An hour and thirty-five minutes later the credits began to roll. The popcorn bowl sat forgotten on the coffee table, empty cans of coke strewn on the floor. Jim was still giggling like a little school girl as he ordered the lights on.

"I told you it was going to be amazing!" Jim exclaimed giddily; McCoy just shook his head. In the corner Spock sat more quiet than usual, his brow slightly furrowed in bewilderment. "Aw, that face is so cute! Hey Bones, can we keep him?" McCoy didn't answer, just continued to shake his head in disgust. "We'll have so much fun, Spocky! I bet you'll love it when I scratch your belly!"

"Dammit Jim, what you're implying is bestiality! I think we've had enough-" he didn't get to finish.

"Hey fucko, we like to call it inter-species erotica!" said Spock, his face as stone straight as usual.

Jim began hysterically laughing, "He said 'fuck'!"