Author's Note: So, this is a THREExSHOT I'm writing because I'm trying to get over my writer's block for my other story. It's kinda depressing, but that's what I get for listening to Pull the Trigger (also known as Russian Roulette) by Rihanna all day. So obviously that's the song that inspired this story. If you haven't heard it I suggest you do. But anyways, as I said before I'm trying to get over my writers block, so sorry if this sucks. Enjoy, if you can and review please.

Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi or Russian Roulette by Rihanna.

I looked down at the item in my hands. It's silver metal glistening in the moonlight that shined through the curtains. I was standing in my room, examining the object I held in my hands. My parents were gone and would be coming home sometime tonight. I was thankfully they wouldn't have to be here to witness what I was about to do.

I wouldn't have to do this if she hadn't left me. If she was still here I wouldn't of ever purchased the cheap piece of metal that took the lives of others every day. She was my everything and now she was gone.

Why me? That was the only thought that ever ran through my mind now. It was like I wasn't meant to be happy, because whenever I was, the happiness was instantly taken away from me. At first when Julia died, I was hopeless, I thought I would never be able to be happy again. I mean, I loved her, and without a warning she left me, alone. She was just another corpse beneath the earth.

And then came Clare, the blue-eyed beauty that saved me. The girl I trusted with all my secrets. The girl that brought the happiness back into my life. The girl I was in love with. She was the reason I smiled every morning I awoke. And she was the only to show me that it was okay to move on. I had never met anyone like her before, and I knew I would never meet anyone like her again.

Now she was gone. And my life was worthless.

I felt my back hit the wall, and I slid to the floor, gun in hand. Tears falling freely as I remembered the events that only occurred four days ago…

"Eli, I have to get going now, it's pretty late."

Clare had spent the whole day at my house since my parents were gone on a business trip and wouldn't be back for 5 days. I didn't exactly want her to leave.

I sighed, "Do you have to Clare? It's only…" I paused to look at the clock, "8:23, just 10 more minutes!" I pleaded.

"I'm not even supposed to be here right now Eli. Remember what happened last time? I was only 15 minutes late and my parents grounded me for two weeks!" I frowned at the memory. Clare's parents had told her I was a bad influence and banned her from seeing me. Of course, Clare refused.

"Okay fine..just, one more kiss?" I gave her my best puppy dog eyes. She smiled and her eyes lit up. She approached me, placing a small, chaste kiss on my lips. She sighed, "Goodbye now Elijah." She put on her shoes and pulled the front door of my house open. I don't know why, but at the moment every part of me had this worried feeling that Clare shouldn't be walking alone tonight.

Before she could leave I asked, "Clare, can I drive you tonight?"

"Eli, if my parents see a hearse in the driveway, they'll know it's you. They think I'm with Alli right now. Besides, you know I like walking at night, I find it refreshing."

"I know, but…something inside me is telling me that you walking tonight just isn't the best idea.."

She walked up to me and placed a small kiss on my cheek, "I'll be fine Eli."

I sighed. I knew I wasn't going to win this argument, though I still had that sickening feeling inside my gut.

"Alright, fine Edwards. Let me just walk you out, it's the least I could do." She smiled and nodded her head. I grabbed my blazer and reached for her hand, interlacing our fingers together.

The night air was cool, and the only light was coming from the streetlamps.

I walked her to the crosswalk infront of my house, although in silence. After the signal appeared that it was okay for Clare to cross the street, I hesitantly let go of her hand. She gave me one final kiss goodnight, as if to reassure me that everything would be okay.

I watched as she crossed the street, the figure of her body slowly fading into the background as she continued the short walk to her house. Every inch of my body screamed at me to run after her, to make sure she got home safe.

I stood there for a couple minutes, contemplating whether or not I should make sure that she was out of harm's way.

I glanced to the left, then right making sure there were no cars coming. I quickly sprinted across the street, then started speed walking. I hid in the shadows, knowing Clare couldn't have gotten too far. I was right, after about 10 seconds of very fast speed walking, I finally saw Clare, earbuds in both ears and ipod in her right hand. She was untouched and perfectly safe.

Of course she was safe, why wouldn't she be? Leave it to me to freak out over nothing. I chuckled silently to myself and retreated my way back to my house. As I was walking I felt a droplet of water hit my forehead. Clare would always tell me that when it was raining, it meant the sky, or god, was crying. For some strange reason, at that exact moment, I believed her theory. Don't ask me why, I just did.

My house was finally coming into view when I saw a car speed by, way past the speed limit, whooshing cool air into my face. I rolled my eyes. Stupid drunk. Then I remembered, CLARE! She had to cross the street a few times to reach her house. Without a second thought I started to run. The rain was getting harder and I could feel my hair getting soaked, but that didn't stop me. I had to find Clare.

I knew I was overreacting, I knew I was being silly. Just because some drunk was driving while Clare was out all alone didn't mean something was going to happen to her. But then the feeling that never left was shouting at me to run faster, to find Clare now.

My feet were aching now, and still no sign of Clare. 'Maybe she's already home' I thought. But then, as I continued running I saw the taillights of the car up ahead, still driving of control. Then I saw a small dark figure…Clare, getting ready to cross the street.

She had her hood on, as the rain was now pouring and she stepped foot onto the wet street floor, oblivious to her surroundings.

"Clare!" I shouted. She hadn't heard.

The car was only a few feet away from her now.

"CLARE!" I screamed as loud as I possibly could, my feet pounding against the pavement as I tried to reach her in time. It was no use.

The next thing that happened, I know I will never be able to be forget.

She finally stopped, right in the middle of the road. I saw her take off her earphones. She turned around slowly, her eyes widened in horror as she saw the car inches away from her. It's headlights colliding with her body..

I snapped out of my flashback. I realized I was now sobbing while I reminisced in the terrible memory that was now etched in my mind, haunting me.

I looked down at the cheap metal that was gripped tightly in my hands. I squeezed it even tighter, turning my knuckles pale. I looked back up and reached to the dresser beside me. My hands wandered around the top of the dresser, shaking furiously while I found what I was looking for.

I grabbed the bullets for the gun, and put them in, one by one.

Take a breath, take it deep
Calm yourself, he says to me
If you play, you play for keeps
Take a gun, and count to three

I'm sweating now, moving slow
No time to think, my turn to go

And you can see my heart beating
You can see it through my chest

And I'm terrified, but I'm not leaving
I Know that I must pass this test
So just pull the trigger

A/N: There's chapter one. Leave reviews telling me what you think. Don't worry, you'll know the rest of what happened to Clare in Chapter 2, which should be up soon.