Okay, this is before Dimitri says "Love fades. Mine has."

I walked into the church silently and scanned the area for a seat and saw that the only seat was next to Dimitri. Sighing softly I sat next to him and saw him stiffen. I was in my guardian attire and my hair was up in a high pony tail, showing all the tiny Molnija that littered the back of my neck.

Dimitri stiffened considerably as I shifted so my hair was of the back of the pew so I could slide down a little to get comfortable and listen without falling asleep. I felt some one step up behind me and I stiffened before I felt a hand on my shoulder. I look up behind me and saw Mikhail behind me his guardian mask in place. I raised an eyebrow at him, something that I finally learned, and he leaned down to whisper in my ear.

"The Queen wants to see you immediately." He whispered. I groaned softly.

"What did I do now?" I complained softly. He shrugged.

"I don't know, she just requested you,"

"Alright, alright, I'm coming," I sighed, standing back up and sliding out of the pew again. I looked back and saw Dimitri looking at me; I closed my eyes and turned to follow Mikhail.

We walked in a some what comfortable silence across the grounds, I was silently wondering what the Queen wanted me for. Mikhail led me to the Queen's breakfast room, and I was immediately ushered inside.

I bowed at the waist, Mikhail doing the same on my right.

"You wished to see me, your majesty," I stated as I stood straight, putting my hands behind my back.

"Yes, there is something that I would like to talk to you about, Guardian Hathaway, please, join me." She said gesturing to the table that had a delicious looking spread of breakfast. I nodded wearily and sat down at the seat that one of the Guardians pulled out for me. I smiled at him and nodded and he nodded back.

When I sat down I felt my stake pressing into my hip so I adjusted it quickly before checking for my gun as well. I straightened my shoulders and looked at the Queen as she watched my every move.

"What is it you wanted to talk about, your majesty?" I asked, turning slightly to face her more fully.

"Of course, straight to the point, well Guardian Hathaway, there is something that I need you to do." She said folding her hands on the table.

"And that would be…?" I probed slightly.

"I need you to go to Europe, to… train of sorts, I want you to learn different fighting styles and then I want you to travel around and hunt down major Strigoi hide outs and connections." She said, looking me in the eye.

"And how long do you think it'll last?" I asked, truly considering this, I would be away from Lissa and him, how would Lissa take it?

"It would all depend on you, it could be any where from a year to ten," She said as if it were nothing. It was a really long time, and it was away from Lissa at that but it sounded tempting, I would be training again, and out in the world.

"The offer sounds pretty good, but I think I need to think about it." I said rationally, standing up.

"That will be fine, so long as you give me your answer by the time the sun comes up then I can give you all the details and have your flight arrangements done." She said.

"Thank you, your majesty, I'll be sure to contact you." I said, bowing before leaving the room with her dismissal. Mikhail walked next to me while I thought, could I really do this?

Mikhail and I ended up at a small café and we were drinking coffee before he started a conversation.

"So, what do you think about the mission?" He asked, leaning forward so no one over heard.

"I don't know, I would be lying if I said it hasn't peaked my interest, I just might do it." I sighed then shrugged, leaning my head on my hands.

"You'll be gone for a few years though." He stated and I nodded.

"I know, but I'll get to see a lot of Europe if this is anything like what I think. I've always wanted to travel, but I'm not sure I can handle being away from Liss that long." I shrugged.

"It's a lot to think about," He said softly. I nodded my agreement. We stood up and I laid some money on the table before we walked out.

"Alright, there's some people I gotta see, so I'll talk to you later and tell you what I decide," I said, as he hugged me and I kissed his cheek briefly before pulling away.

"Alright little one," He said as we parted ways. I went to my apartment to change since I wasn't on duty today. Putting on some fitted sweat pants and a form fitting tank top I left my hair in a ponytail and put on the two leather holsters on each of my hips, one for my stake and the other for my gun. I put on some sneakers and left my room, making sure to lock my door before I left.

I made my way to the gym and immediately started on the track. I ran, hard and fast as I thought.

I could do this, I could really do this, the only thing that really worries me is Lissa. Could I leave her for an unknown amount of time to go train? I wasn't sure, I really wasn't. And Dimitri, could I really leave him, after everything we've been through, after everything I had done, could I really just up and leave?

So many questions raced through my mind as I finally came to a stop to catch my almost ragged breathing. I started walking across the court yard and sat down on a bench and rested my head in my hands once again.

"What am I doing?" I whispered to myself as I stood up and looked around. My stomach growled loudly so I decided to go get something to eat at a place that was located close to the Guardian building that had doughnuts and coffee and all that good stuff so I walked in regardless of the fact that I had just recently had a public spat with the Queen.

I walked in and froze, Dimitri was sitting at one of the far tables, a western novel in his hand and his personal guard scattered about. Dimitri who was seemingly engrossed in his book looked right up at me. I turned and walked to the counter, order my third coffee of the day an éclair and a doughnut, sugar, it helps me think and it'll keep me awake.

I got my food and was about to walk to the other side of the café but was stopped by one of the guardians.

"Hey Rose, are you going to the Council tomorrow?" He asked, I tilted my head to the side slightly to think about it.

"I'm not sure, as much as I'd like to there's been some interference on my part." I said, shrugging slightly. "I might be able to make it though." One of the guards sitting down stood up and I realized I had seen him in the breakfast room, he looked at me, silently asking permission and I nodded as he went over and told the other guy why.

He nodded and grinned at me.

"Well that should be interesting." He stated. I shrugged and smirk.

"It should, that is if I go through with it." I sighed.

"Why wouldn't you?" The guy from the breakfast room said.

"I have something here that I'm not sure I want to leave." I replied vaguely.

"Well, if I were you, I'd take it," He said and the other guy nodded his agreement.

"Anyway, if you are here, are you even sure they'll let you in?" asked another guard who I happened to know as Joe.

"Hmm, that my friend is an excellent question," I stated taking a bite from my éclair. "But regardless, I'll have to try. There's no way I'm letting them go through with that damn age law." A few of them nodded.

"What age law?" Dimitri asked.

******* Some of the conversation from SB in the café (PAGE 448- 450) *********

"You know I am so sick and tired of every one being allowed in your life except me." I snapped before looking at the other guardians, who with one glance from me took a step back.

"You and 'everybody' else are a different situation." He said.

"Of course everyone's different," I stated dryly, venom tainting my voice slightly. "Because everyone else is the one who did an endless amount of research to find out how to turn you back, because everyone else risked being a guardian to find you, because everyone else went through the pain I went through, yea Dimitri everyone is different."

"And it wasn't them that I hurt. How many times do I have to tell that I'm not safe for you to be around?" He asked, slightly annoyed.

"And how many time have I told that I'm not gonna give up, I'm gonna fight for this, for us." I said determination in my voice.

"There is no us, Rose, and there is nothing to fight for, and you will give up because I already have." He said his voice emotionless. "Love fades. Mine has."

An undeniable pain crashed through me as I stood up my coffee still in hand and I walked a couple of steps to clear the tears that burned my eyes. I swallowed the lump in my throat and turned to smile at the guards.

"I'll probably see you tomorrow; let's just hope that I don't get dragged out again." I joked, as I tried to ignore Dimitri so I wouldn't cry. They chuckled slightly not acknowledging the argument I just had with Dimitri.

"Yea, let's hope not," Joe laughed. I waved and walked out only to start running towards Adrian's apartment. I whipped my eyes clean as I tapped on the door.

He opened the door, looking quite handsome and I regretted what I was about to say.

"Adrian, we need to talk" I stated. He looked bewildered as a look of dread started to cloud his features. He let me and I sat down on the couch looking at him.

"What is it Little Dhampir?" He asked, sitting next to me.

"Adrian, look I'm just gonna get straight to the point, Adrian I'm breaking up with you." I said, looking him in the eye.

"What, why?" He asked, standing up. "Is it because of Belikov because if it is…."

"No it's not because of him, I'm breaking up with you so that you can move on with your life, Adrian, I'm not good for you, you deserve so much more, and a girl who will love you to no end. I can't do that, I care for you, really I do but that's why I need you to move on." I said softly.

"Move on with my life and not good for me? Are you crazy? You're the best thing that's ever happened to me!" He exclaimed. I shook my head.

"You're gonna meet some one who's better, so much better than I am, some one who you can buy stuff for and so much more, and pretty soon you'll forget. I'm sorry, but I have to go," I said, standing up and rushing out of the apartment, jogging down the stairs easily.

I had just made it back to my own apartment when through the bond I felt Lissa get the call from Adrian and not five minutes later talked to Dimitri. She was mad as she made her way to my apartment so I went down stairs to meet her there. I stood at the bar first though and got a shot of Vodka.

"Rose, what the hell is going on? I get a call from Adrian saying you broke up with him and Dimitri just told me you two got into an argument! What the hell Rose?" She asked her voice barely higher than normal.

"Liss, its not what you…,"

"I told you to give him some room Rose, and did you listen to me, no! He's told you to stay away from him but you refuse to listen or get it through your thick skull that he may not want you!" She said in an angry whisper.

I didn't say anything, I couldn't, I was hurt so bad by her words that I couldn't help but bring up my guardian mask.

"If Dimitri gets thrown back in that cell then it's you to blame! And not to mention Adrian, he's heart broken! How could you do that to him Rose? He has done nothing but love you and you go and break his heart, are you really that heartless?" She sneered. I just looked over her should and saw Mikhail walk in, he saw me and was about to smile until he saw the look on my face.

Lissa continued to chew me out for about five minutes before she officially shattered the remains of my heart and soul.

"You are no friend of mine, my friend died back in that Academy Raid, who ever you are, just leave us alone, and don't bother to come back." The darkness swelled in her and I started to walk away as it suddenly shifted through the bond and into me. I became angry and depressed as I all but ran up the stairs to my room, Mikhail hot on my tail.

I opened the door and didn't bother closing it knowing he would come in anyway; I laid on my bed as the first tears fell. I felt him wrap his arm around me as I started to sob, tears rushed from my eyes as I thought about Dimitri and Lissa. Two parts of my heart and soul, two people I thought I would have to chose from, now they both turned their back on me.

Broken sobs and soft whimpers escaped me for what felt like forever until finally I was able to get control over myself. I pulled away to wipe my eyes, before I flushed for being so weak.

"I'm sorry," I said softly, looking up at him through my eye lashes. He smiled sadly at me before hugging me again in a brotherly fashion.

"It's alright little one," He murmured. I sniffed and stood up.

"Thank you," I smiled slightly at him and he stood up and ruffled my hair slightly.

"No problem, now I suggest you go take a shower, I'll go get some coffee then I'll go with you to tell the queen." He said, walking to my door to give me some privacy.

I nodded and walked into my bathroom and started the water. I looked in the mirror and groaned, I looked like hell, my eyes were red and puffy. I had tear streaks down my face, and my skin was blotchy and red. Stripping off my clothes I stepped into the cool shower and let it calm me down.

I didn't take to long before I came out and wrapped a towel around my body as I walked back into my room. I slipped on my bra and underwear and pulled on a pair of nice looking jeans before I started drying my hair. Putting it in a high and messy bun I started looking for a top.

I was just pulling out the top when Mikhail walked in. He didn't even pay attention to the fact that I was half naked, he just set the coffee down and sat on my bed and started looking through one of my books.

Shrugging slightly, I didn't care, he was like an older brother, much like Christian but different. I button up the top and looked at him, waiting for him to say something.

"So, how does it look?" I asked, acting like either an impatient girlfriend or a little sister going out for the hell of it. He looked up.

"You look good, now come on the sun's going to be up soon." He said, as I pulled on a pair of heeled boots and my stake and gun. I took a deep breathe and pushed all my memories and emotions away before following Mikhail outside. We walked to where the Queen would be and after the Queen confirming that we could come inside we were led inside.

Mikhail and I bowed as usual before standing straighter.

"So have you come up with an answer Guardian Hathaway?" She asked. I nodded.

"Yes your majesty, I accept your mission proposal." I said formally. She smiled.

"Good. I'll have you're plane ready in a few hours, there you will receive a cell phone, four different credit cards that have no limit, an I.D and drivers license. There will also be other things you might need for later on, like some of the locations that was provided by Mr. Belikov, and profiles on people you may be working with. Also don't pack a lot of clothes, just training clothes and some regular clothing. Once you get there you will need to be able to fit in where ever you go which is why you have the credit cards. Any information that I have left out should be in the packet you will be given. You are dismissed." She stated. I nodded before bowing once again before turning on my heel and walking out, Mikhail a step behind me.

Once again we walked the grounds to my room, me for the last time for a while. I stopped as I saw the sun rising and I basked in the little heat it was already giving off. Mikhail had kept walking so he was in front of me by a few steps so I just jogged the couple of feet and continued to walk at his side.

I could feel the darkness swirling of me but instead of fighting it I just became one with it. I could feel my none existent heart harden to the slightest degree and I smirked. This could work to my advantage. It was that moment that I made a vow to myself, never again would I shed a tear for them, never for the man who had held her heart and crushed, never for the girl that was like a sister to her, never again.

We made it to my room and I immediately started taking out my suit cases.

"Well don't just stand there, help me pack." I stated, tossing him a duffel bag and told him where my gym clothes were while I started packing my other stuff.

"Have you had dinner?" He asked suddenly, as just then my stomach growled and I shook my head. "Then since we are almost done we'll go grab a bite to eat." He suggested.

"Sure, why not?" I shrugged, standing up straighter to stretch. "Well, come one, let's get moving!" I said, tugging his arm. He grinned at me before he took the lead, and I let go of his arm.

We walked for a little over a minute until we made it to a small diner that made you relax. Mikhail nodded to the waitress who started writing stuff on her pad before walking us to a table.

"So the usual for Mikhail and what can I get for you?" She asked, looking at me, I thought about for a second before reminding me that I was leaving the states, meaning no American cheese burgers.

"Can I get a cheese burger, with fries and a chocolate milkshake?" I asked politely and she nodded, as Mikhail looked at me with a raised eyebrow. "What, I'm not gonna be in the states for a while, I need a cheese burger before I go." I stated with a shrug.

"Makes sense," He nodded. I sighed.

"I can't believe I'm actually doing this." I rest my check on my hand.

"It might work out for the better," he mused. "And you get to learn new things and travel, so I think it'll work out in your favor."

"Let's hope so," I sighed as the waitress brought out the food. He had a salad, some mashed potatoes and a cheese burger with a coke so I just shook my head and smirked.

As we ate we talked aimlessly about pretty much anything, we even talked about our failed loved lives and he told me about his search for Sonya, while I in return told him about me and Dimitri.

We really got to know each other, and we got closer in a more sibling way. Hell I even told him about being Shadow Kissed and all of that, in the short hour and a half I could probably tell you some of his darkest secrets.

"You know, I can't tell which is worse, having the love of your life turn Strigoi on their own, or have them turned against their will but when you get them back, they don't want you anymore." He said, and it made quiet. It wasn't awkward but I wasn't going to answer and I think he knew that because when the check came he tried to pay the bill.

"No, no, no, this one's on me," I said taking it, he shook his head, leaned over the table and snatched it away.

"How about no, you're leaving, I'm paying," he said, going to put the money in, I growled at him and tried to take it away but he blocked me as he called for the waitress.

"No, don't take that!" I said as she took the check, she looked at me then Mikhail.

"Go on, don't listen to her, no change," He said, standing up and grabbing my arm, when I refused he sighed, lifted me up and hoisted me over his shoulder.

"Mikhail, no fair, put me down! Why are you so stubborn?" I squealed, pounding on his back.

"You think I'm stubborn? When was the last time you looked in the mirror? I bet if you look stubborn up in the dictionary your face is there!" He stated, jumping up slightly to make me squeal in surprise.

"It'll be right next to yours Mikhail Tanner!" I stated pounding on his back some more. "Put. Me. Down! Mikhail!" I whined. He just laughed and continued walking, my phone buzzed in my ass pocket and I sighed. "Can I at least check my messages?" I asked, seeing as he would let me move.

I felt slight pressure on my ass and I flushed slightly and I heard him flip open my phone.

"The plane will be ready in 30 minutes." He stated as he slide the phone back in its place. I sighed and nodded, I finally looked down and saw that my "brother" for all intents and purposes except blood has a really nice ass.

"You know something?" I asked.

"What?"

"I'm not sure if it's the blood rushing to my head, but you have a really nice ass, I think it's probably from all the training but damn," I stated, shaking my head. I heard his laugh and I could feel him shake his head.

"I'm not sure if I should be flattered or not, but thank you," He said followed by a chuckle.

"Do you always laugh this much?" I asked looking up as far as I could.

"No, I don't, I guess it's just being around someone who knows what I've gone through, it's just you, maybe 'cause I look at you like a little sister," He said softly, but I heard him.

"Awe, thank Mikhail, I look at you like an older brother too, so it means a lot," I smiled, even though he couldn't see me.

He opened a door and we walked into an elevator before walking down a hall and through another door before I was dropped on a bed. I looked around and saw we were in my room.

"How'd you open the door, I locked it!" I asked, standing up to put the rest of my clothes away.

"I took the key out of your pocket while you were struggling." He grinned sheepishly, while I just sat on the bed and picked up a picture of Lissa, Dimitri and I from the Academy. I smiled as my thumbs caressed the picture.

"Thank you," I murmured as I memorized the picture.

"For what?" He asked softly, sitting next to me and looking at the photo.

"For taking my thoughts off of everything that happened today and for holding me while I cried, there really isn't many people I show weakness too so I'm just thankful it was you, even if I haven't known you for long." I murmured looking at him to smile as my eyes welled with tears, tears that I would not shed.

"It's no problem," He said, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. I leaned into him for a moment, taking his comfort before I stood up and stretched looking around my apartment for the last time.

"I think we should head out." I said, zipping up and picking up my bags, Mikhail picked up one of them while I carried the other. I locked the door and handed him the key before we made our way out of the complex.

We walked in silence, there was no need to talk, this is how it used to be with Dimitri and I but it never would be like that again so I just let my thoughts wonder to what I will be doing for an unknown amount of time.

Finally we made it to the jet and I could see them doing last minute preparations so I just waited. I heard foot steps but I ignored them until I felt a presence behind me.

"So you were just going to leave without saying goodbye." I heard him say and I stiffened before relaxing slightly. A sarcastic smirk on my lips as I turned to face him, he looked kinda upset, sad but relieved as well.

"Now, now, I figured you'd be to busy deal with Lissa to even realize little old me would be leaving. How'd you find out anyway?" I asked.

"There are perks to being invisible." He stated a smirk on his lips, I sighed. He opened his arms and I hugged him tight, he held me close to him in a brotherly fashion.

"Take care of her will you? She may hate me but I'm still her Shadow Kissed guardian, and don't tell her that you knew, it'll only lead to an argument." I stated. He nodded into my hair.

"I will, and she doesn't hate you Rose, she was a tad upset. You take care of yourself and keep in contact." He murmured into my hair. I scoffed before burying my face in his neck.

"I'm sorry, Chris, but it's too much for one person to handle, but you'll come visit me, won't you?" I asked shyly.

"Of course," He said, oblivious to my shyness. "Just, don't get yourself hurt little sis," He murmured, kissing my forehead before looking at me, I smiled.

"I won't bro, I won't." I responded.

"Come back to us," He whispered.

"I will," I kissed his cheek before turning to Mikhail. "And you, I'll call you as soon as I can," I whispered to him.

"Alright, keep in contact and I'll try and visit you when I can." He murmured. I nodded.

"Guardian Hathaway, are you ready?" The pilot asked. I turned and nodded.

"Just a second!" I called. "Mikhail, it's worse having the love of your life turned against their will and when you get them back they don't want you, when that happens, they are always there and you'll always love them but they won't love you back. But if they turned on their own will, at least your last memory of them is of them loving you." I answered his earlier thought. He looked shocked before he hugged me. I kissed his cheek before taking my bags and boarding the plane.

"Come back to us Hathaway!" Mikhail called. I smiled.

"I will, that I can promise you, I'll see you eventually, bye Mikhail bye Flames!" I called out, before they closed the door.

I sat back in the chair, my bags put away, I looked out the window and saw Christian and Mikhail waving as the jet rolled down the runway.

I was handed a small box that held all the stuff I need and I smirked a dark smirk as I felt my heart harden once more. This would be interesting. But no matter what, I would come back to my brothers, no matter what.