As some may have noticed just by reading the intro, this is not the third part of my 'Habit' series: I desperately needed to get this out of my system before focusing on that one. Hope it turns out at least vaguely enjoyable. Gods, it took me bloody forever =_= . And here I was all, 'want a lighter shot to break the tension before Habit 3 is ready' ... silly me.
DISCLAIMER: Tite Kubo owns all things Bleach.
WARNINGS: contains slight references to my other IchiHitsu stories, "Breaking The Habit" and "Old Habits (Die Hard)". I suppose you don't really need to read those out first, though this might make more sense if you did '^^ .
.
Friday afternoon. Thirty-two minutes to the last bell of the day.
"Okay, THAT'S IT! You cross the line, Chizuru!"
"Ow, you're such a spoilsport, Arisawa-san! I only asked 'Hime-chan to take a look at my magazine!"
"Really? Is that how it's called now?"
"You misunderstand, Keigo-kun! You too, Tatsuki-chan. Here. Look at the article Chizuru showed me."
"Are You A Perfect Match? 35 questions to find out whether you and your special person were made for each other!"
"Woah!"
"Hey, it sounds like fun! Ne, Mizuiro-kun?"
"Why would you get so excited over this, Asano-san? Everyone knows you've never been on a date with a girl."
"GYAAAH! What's with the cold shoulder all of a sudden? You're so meaaaaaaan, Mizuiro!"
"Say, Orihime, you really want to take this stupid test?"
"She already has! Well, I took it for her anyway, and we did come out as the greatest mat – eeeek! You vicious girl!"
"I… don't know, Tatsuki-chan. I guess I just thought it would be fun!"
"Well, I s'pose it's as good a pastime as any. Oi, Ichigo! You in?"
Tch. Yeah, like hell. Kurosaki Ichigo, 16 year old, substitute Shinigami, lightly kicks the desk before him and stands up, not bothering to shoot his classmates more than a quick glance. "Pass." He grumbles while heading toward the door.
"Where do you think you're going, Kurosaki? Class is not over yet."
Might as well. Never turning, Ichigo raises an arm to wave goodbye. Like I've got time to waste over this girly crap!
Later on. Kurosakis' place.
"Oh, for the love of – "
"Yuzuuuuuuu, my lovely little flower, don't do this to your poor papa!"
"But… what have I done?"
"Buuuu-uuuuuh! Daddy's li'l flower is growing up! Soon you too will leave me, like your poor mom! Yuuuuuuuzuuuuuu!"
"STOP THAT, YOU USELESS IDIOT! What possessed you to start acting like an ordinary father now? !"
"Buuu-uuuh, Yuzu! Don't leave me with your terrible sis and that grumpy boy! What will become of poor ol' me? !"
"Daddy, calm down…"
"GET THE HELL UP! Adults don't writhe on the floor!"
"… it's just a magazine! I swear I haven't even taken the quiz yet. And I won't, if you feel so bad about it."
"Masaki, my love! See what's up with your children? Yuzu's way too young to be thinking of romance, while Ichigo – "
SLAM. "Ichigo what, ye old jerk?" The redhead kicks his shoes off, making sure to hit Isshin in the process. Stepping further into the kitchen, he nods to Karin and Yuzu. Both girls look busy over a mag spread out on the table. "Wassup?"
"Nothing, nii-san. Just a silly test I won't take for the sake of papa's sanity. All right, daddy?"
"You're way too late for that, Yuzu." Ichigo snorts, kicking his old man on the head for good measure. When the hyper doc doesn't fight back, though, the carrot-top youth frowns. Struck him hard, huh? Isshin won't stop bawling at his wife's portrait, not even to assault his son – whose arrival he's barely registered – like he's so keen to do. Ichigo's frown deepens. What had the girls been talking about, again? Some quiz on a magazine… That rings a bell.
"Well, I've got practice in half an hour. If you still want me to go see those kittens with you, Yuzu, we'd better hurry."
"Hai! Right away, ne-chan. Dad? Do you want to come with us? Da-ad! Come on, please! It'll take your minds off things."
"Y-Y-You r-really really want to go outside with your ugly old papa, Yuzu? You're not a-ashamed of me?"
"Why would I ever be ashamed of you? You're my daddy, and I love you. Love and need you."
"HA! Y-Yuzu! You're making me the happiest man that's ever – "
"Oi, Ichi-nii. Care to join?"
Ichigo rolls his eyes at the sappy family picture (poor Yuzu's being squeezed to death in their father's arms). "Not today, Karin. Got things to do."
Really, king? Like what, for instance – sit around staring at the phone, waiting for your teddy bear to give you a ring, then spend the following twenty-three hours brooding and sulking 'cause his calls are always so short and you won't be seeing him till next week? Well, shit. Dunno how you get the time to breathe through such a tight schedule!
Shut the fuck up, Ichigo bites back viciously, but he takes too long and Shiro only laughs at him. Well shit indeed.
He checks the display for the umpteenth time. The response doesn't change: Toshiro hasn't called yet. If he's ever calling at all, Ichigo muses, stretching out against the chair back. Of course, Hichigo is right. This just sucks. This entire situation, the whole living one fucking dimension away from each other is really starting to take the toll on him. All the wondering and waiting and playing cool so that Toshiro won't look down on him for being a pathetic pussy is turning Ichigo into a pussy alright – an extraordinarily pathetic one at that. He can't go on like this. He needs a break. He needs… What I need is a distraction. Something to take my mind off things, like Yuzu said. (Yes, he's taking advice from his 12 years old sis. Is it humanly possible to stoop any lower?)
The redhead's eyes fall on the magazine he's taken from the kitchen. (Apparently, yes.)
Judging by the infamous article name, it's just the same quiz his classmates had been bickering over when he left school earlier in the afternoon. Ichigo doesn't know in all honesty what possessed him to do such a thing, stealing his li'l sister's very, very girly magazine to take a test about his troublesome love life – geez, just the words give him the creeps – but he reckons that sneaking a peak won't kill him. Will it? Be sure to make it quick and call this bullshit over soon after, the substitute Shinigami finally comes to terms with himself.
He takes the mag in his lap and starts reading.
Are You A Perfect Match?
35 questions to find out whether you and your special person were made for each other!
Ichigo reads the first question.
Ichigo slams the mag shut.
Too bad the offending words are already engraved in his head.
1) Communication is at the basis of any sane relationship. Do you and your partner talk often?
And here he was hoping to forget his communication issues for a while. Damn it all to hell.
No, my partner and I don't fucking talk. Unless there's some threatening, hideous creature from who knows what spiritual dimension involved, that is.
Ichigo takes a deep breath and hesitates. He doesn't have to go on with the damned quiz, he knows it. All the more since it's bound to make him feel worse in the end. And it's not like he fucking cares for the result, goddamnit. His relationship with Hitsugaya Toshiro, 10th division captain of the Gotei 13, is so beyond any silly girl magazine. That test was thought to meet a much more ordinary target.
Still…
Still, there are times where he gives me that bloody sidelong glance of his and asks what's wrong like he truly gives a shit, after all. Those are the times I mutter, it's nothing, and look away, 'cuz he makes me so awfully self-conscious it's not even funny. Then he snorts, calls me an idiot and pretends to leave, but he's always right there, just beyond the door, every time I step out of a room. Arms folded, bored shit-head attitude, but he's there nonetheless. Those are the times I think that make up for a dozen conversations.
Ichigo groans.
Ichigo reopens the mag.
2) When push comes to shove, who do you choose between your friends and partner?
This is somewhat easier. Lame, but easier. When push comes to shove, my partner is known to shove just as hard as I, if harder. Not to mention, should I ever put Inoue and the others in danger while trying to protect him, Toshiro would have my head on a plate.
Ichigo is so used to real battles and life-changing decisions he doesn't stop to consider the mundane, lighter side of the matter. Besides, choosing Toshiro over his friends could never be an option – his friends are his alleys, and Toshiro is above all other things a precious ally. Problem's nonexistent, really.
3) Is your partner openly affectionate with you in public?
Nnnnngggh, comes the redhead's first, hardly elaborate thought. Now, this is just plainly inconvenient. Ichigo feels his ears grow annoyingly hot. Girly crap. 'm not gonna answer this.
Ichigo skips to the following question.
Which is so thoroughly dreadful number three pales in comparison.
Fine, got it. Affectionate. Fuck no! We're both males, we're Shinigamis and we rather enjoy keeping to ourselves. It's not everyday that we're even seen in public together, either.
Sure, that one time…
Karin had gotten hurt; thankfully it was no hollow's doing, just a nasty accident on the soccer field. As Isshin had it a point to never professionally take care of his children himself, the girl had been hospitalized. Ichigo hadn't left her side all day. By the time Toshiro joined him, the demi-hollow was a wreck. He barely acknowledged the white-haired boy's presence at all, eyes never diverting from the small figure lying only half-conscious in the bed. Hitsugaya had to carry him out of the room by force since the nurses' polite reminders to leave for the night had not affected the substitute Shinigami in the slightest.
Rukia had been there; Inoue, Chado and Ishida had been there; even Renji had made a brief appearance to make sure his favourite opponent was alright. Rukia scolded Ichigo for his lack of spine, claiming his gloomy face was bringing poor Yuzu down; Inoue offered to try and use her powers to accelerate Karin's healing; Renji said something about giving a friend at the 4th division a call. None of them did for Ichigo what Toshiro did, though.
The captain made sure to keep eye contact all day, so that no changes in the redhead's expression could escape him. At nightfall, he was the one to push Ichigo down on a spare chair in the lounge and downright order him to get some sleep. And when the boy couldn't manage, Toshiro sat beside him and begrudgingly offered his chest as a pillow, which Ichigo promptly refused declaring it to be too scrawny for comfort. They woke up in the morning huddled together on the wobbly chairs anyway – that is, together for everyone to see.
Ichigo can't suppress the small smile tugging at his lips. Of course Toshiro still claims his presence there was due to the soft spot he'd developed for Karin in time. He usually adds something on the lines of, like hell I'm showing up were you to get hurt, Kurosaki (which Ichigo generally replies to by pointing out most of his injures would probably be Toshiro's doing anyway).
Now, what was question number four again?
4) What did your partner get you for your last birthday?
Ichigo's sixteenth birthday was by far the most humiliating event of the year – Toshiro mistaking condoms for air balloons being a nice part of aforementioned humiliation.
I'm not going over that again, the teen mumbles to himself, then carries on reading.
5) How long have you and your partner been together?
Ichigo huffs. The word 'partner' is seriously starting to unnerve him (but he figures all alternatives would be even worse, so he'll just shift with it). The redhead's eyes drift to the following question, then the one after that.
6) Who made the first move?
7) Have you and your partner ever broken up?
The night Kurosaki Ichigo and Hitsugaya Toshiro first got together had been a festive one for the Gotei 13. Too bad the word 'party' has always translated for the 10th division taichou as 'unjustified endless social torture'. The white-haired genius took to chain-smoke as a way to kill time, thus having a great excuse to stay outdoor, away from the crowd. As soon as he saw it fit to leave, he normally would without bothering with goodbyes – most of the guests were likely to be completely smashed by then anyway. Actually, the one positive aspect about parties was that Matsumoto would always be too pissed to smother her captain or even notice him leaving.
That night was the night Ichigo had made a resolution to take a drag from Toshiro's cigarette no matter what.
The redhead couldn't seem to stay away from the ice master, who eventually abandoned subtlety to openly demand the other boy 'left him the fuck alone'.
"Piss off, Kurosaki." "C'mon, Toshiro! I'm the one who travels every friggin' time up here from the world of the living to get your goddamn cigarettes. Sharing is the least you can do." "I don't share. Anything. Ever." "Yeah, right. Here's the ice prince, kid Shinigami, prodigious asshole Hitsugaya-taichou for you!" "You're always complaining 'bout how dreadful a habit smoking is, and how utterly stupid people who yield to it are. So, what's with you wanting to try all of a sudden?" "Just once. Please."
…
"Puah! Fuckin' disgusting!" "All the better. Now get out of my sight."
…
"You still here?" "I think I want to kiss you."
…
"You've been considering it too!" "The hell I have!" "I can tell by the look in your eyes. You bloody have!" "Have not!" "Have too." "Have n – "
…
"Kurosaki…" "Let me."
…
"Thank you."
…
"… bet you could taste smoke this time." "Well. Faintly." "Tch. So it was fuckin'disgusting, right?" "… you have no bloody idea what you're talking about."
The demi-hollow smirks at the memory. Toshiro wasn't able to leave the party until dawn.
Ichigo's eyes then drift to question seven, and his face falls.
It was two months after that first kiss in Seireitei. Toshiro had been uncharacteristically restless, so the redhead decided to confront him about it.
"Would you stop already?" "Mh-mmh." "Toshiro! You're making me nervous. What's wrong?" "Nothing's wrong with me." "Is it me then?" "Tch." "… something has to be wrong if you're running all about without paying the tiniest bit of attention to me! It's not everyday I drop by, y'know." "It's still often enough."
…
"Are you serious? !" "Always am." "Yeah, but you've practically – " "Listen, Kurosaki. I'm kind of busy at the moment. Would you mind it terribly to take your whining elsewhere?" "Fuck yes I would! You gotta be kidding me!" "I've just said I'm always serious."
…
"You're really incredible, y'know Toshiro?" "Been told quite a few times, yeah." "Didn't mean it in a good way! I work my ass off to keep in pace with school despite all Shinigami duties and still have the time to come – " "Nobody made you."
…
"You ungrateful bastard! It's because of your goddamn cigarettes I've started visiting in the first place!" "But since I've given up smoking your services are no longer needed. How many times have you been told already?" "I thought you were joking!" "And I thought you knew me better than this."
…
"Fine. I'm off." "It's wrong."
…
"What did you just say?" "Doesn't matter. I don't want to see you around here ever again unless your presence's requested by official orders." "You said wrong. Is this what was wrong after all?" "Out of my quarters, Kurosaki Ichigo." "Forget it! 'm not leaving without an answer!"
…
"You want an answer? Fine, but don't start crying like a baby if it's not what you want to hear. I'm tired of having you around. This thing we got off the ground was insanely wrong to begin with. You're annoying, and you're human, and the way you act around here makes me sick. Some ought to point out you don't own the place. You're not one of us, so you should stop trying to merge already and just stick to your duties in the world of the living."
…
"Fine. Got it. I won't let the door hit me on the way out."
Except the door slammed pretty loudly.
Obviously, Ichigo had no intention to 'stick with it'. It took him a week though to figure out a way to fix things.
"Let's fight it off. Like true warriors should." "Are you out of your mind? There's no point in wrestling with a fellow Shinigami just for fun. My headquarter is not the right place to pick up fights. Try at Zaraki's." "We won't be wrestling for fun at all. I want a last ditch effort." "And I want you out of my life. We're even." "You want me outta yer life? Fine then, kill me. That's the only thing that'll grant you your wish."
…
"I might just do it."
…
"See ya at the sparring ground in a minute."
And spar they did, though Toshiro didn't seem to take it half as seriously as he should. Ichigo actually managed to tackle him to the ground a couple of times.
"Fight like you bloody mean it, Hitsugaya!" "Stop provoking me, 'nless you really wish to get yourself killed." "Think you can fool me? I know what you're doing, and it's not fucking funny! Don't restrain."
…
"Kurosaki, you damn idiot! I'll really hurt you if you make me." "Wouldn't have it any other way, tiachou."
…
"Tch. I knew you… cared… for me." "What the hell are you talking about? I beat you." "Indeed."
…
"You… fight like you're… kind of in love with me… after all, Hitsugaya-taichou!" "Shut the fuck up. I'm gonna get help."
That was the best fight of his life – as attested by the lung perforation Captain Unohana diagnosed.
It's been almost six months since they got back together, Ichigo ponders absent-mindedly, sneaking a quick glance at the mobile display. Still no calls. The teen shifts more comfortably on his seat and surrenders. Sighing, he steadies in preparation for the next question.
8) You and your partner have been together for a while now. What would you do to put some spice in your relationship?
At first Ichigo is baffled. Toshiro hates spicy cooking. Then, upon getting the message, he snorts. Should their relationship get any spicier the redhead is positive he'd die of food poisoning. His beloved 'partner' is just the perfect mixture of sour, stinging and disgracefully hot as he is. No way time alone is going to change this.
Moving on.
9) Do you ever ask yourself why are you with your partner?
Please. Ichigo rolls his eyes. I am 'cuz I want to. Simple as that.
10) How do you feel around them?
Woah, no p-word. The sub Shinigami considers the question for a moment before shrugging it off. Another easy one. Feels good. Right, even. Sometimes is like walking on eggs, some others like everything's in its perfect place – but one way or another it's just fine as long as they're together. A different kind of fine, actually. A harsh, tough, hardly ever comfortable kind of… well, happiness, if you will.
Ichigo pulls a face. Seriously, this stupid quiz is bringing out the sappiest part of him.
11) Name one thing your partner has given up for your sake.
This one seems simple enough at first: Toshiro gave up smoking the day after their first kiss, muttering some bullshit about no longer being able to afford the expense – which Ichigo promptly translated as not wanting to upset his brand new boyfriend (whose presence in Soul Society needed no more justifying by means of lame cigarette-alibis). But, upon further reflection, the carrot-top youth is fairly sure he can add a couple more sacrifices to the list.
The very first thing Toshiro has ever given up for him is his twisted view of social life. One as smart as little prodigy Hitsugaya was bound to feel accustomed to loneliness, and enjoy it in time; very few people ever breached his golden wall of predestination – which was, really, the most natural outcome of a(n after)life spent surrounded by people who kept repeating how awesome you were all the time. Toshiro's dislike for any kind of social interaction had not its roots in, as many came to think, the boy's pride; in fact, since being among other people brought him nothing but glory, the white-haired teen's reserve was rather a clumsy strategy to feel as ordinary as possible. Ichigo's own haughtiness, at first, and concealed caring, lately, made Toshiro see there could be different sides to human interaction than the flattering he was more familiar with. Of course, it took some getting used to – when it came to someone other than Hinamori, Matsumoto and Captain Ukitake, the ice master was hardly aware of any feeling existing in-between spite and worshipping – but the shock treatment has finally brought some results.
Ah, Toshiro also skips his afternoon nap to spend time together when Ichigo is in Seireitei. Might count as a minor sacrifice.
12) Is there anything you positively won't forgive your partner for?
Dying. God knows I would never forgive him for dying on me. Again, as a warrior, Ichigo's priorities seem pretty odd compared to all other 16-year-olds.
Next question, however, does leave the redhead with a certain feel of unease.
13) How would you react if your partner went up to you tomorrow and broke up with you?
Easy, kill him. Or die fighting to get him back, like I risked last time the jerk tried to get rid of me. Ichigo realizes the contradiction, but he just doesn't give a shit. Actually, it all makes perfectly sense to him: he won't ever forgive Toshiro for dying at anyone's sword but his Zangetsu.
14) Do you ever think of cheating on your partner?
15) How does jealousy fit in your relationship?
Bloody girly crap. He just knew damn jealousy was going to pop up someway through the quiz. Girly mag wants him to vent his spleen? Fair enough, but Ichigo's got bad news for the friggin' test.
They just aren't jealous. There's nothing – or none – to be jealous of. People who are important to Toshiro have somehow grown on the redhead, just like Ichigo's friends matter to the 10th division captain, in some odd way. Thing is, they're all in the same big fight together.
Romantically speaking, neither of them has had any experience before despite being at the centre of more than one girl's attention each – Toshiro is not oblivious to Rukia and Orihime's crushing over Ichigo, just as the demi-hollow is very much aware of Momo Hinamori's feelings for the ice master (and pretty wary of Matsumoto, too). Both boys know they've never deluded the girls anyhow, though, so it's just… fine, really.
Ichigo lets out a tiny sigh of frustration. Fuck, he's never even stopped to consider that his boyfriend might cheat on him. The sub Shinigami had kind of figured if Toshiro was to dump (i. e. try to dump) him again it would be for he'd gotten tired of having the bad-tempered redhead around, not because of some random girl. It's a disturbing thought, all the more since Ichigo can't even picture himself requiting Rukia or Inoue's affection. It's not like he doesn't care for them, either, 's just…
Now I no longer need Hichigo to argue with myself. Fanfuckintastic.
Kurosaki casts an angry glance at the ever silent mobile phone. Great, now he's freaking out about Toshiro being with someone else. Of course he's with someone, he's in bloody Seireitei.
Screw all. Ichigo resumes reading with a grunt.
16) Does your partner live far off from you (namely a different town or country)?
Tch. Define 'far'.
Moving on.
17) Do you and your partner share a bed?
Ichigo feels a slight blush creeping up his cheeks, but fights it off and wins. Just how comfortable would it be to leave the world of the living every night and go to sleep in Soul Society?
Sure enough, the answer is no; they only share a bed when –
– but it's only for an hour or two anyway, until Toshiro gets uncomfortable and starts fidgeting to put some distance between their bodies. Ichigo finds it maddening how anal is partner is about sleeping together.
… hell. No pun intended.
The teen moves to the following question, but his eyes get caught midway and his brain can't seem to process an answer.
18) How often do you…
Ichigo slams the mag shut so strong the cover rips at one angle.
Okay, that's it. The magazine is thrown viciously onto the bed, as the teen's knuckles grow white with pressure and his whole face red with disdain. How dare the bloody test inquire 'bout… those are notoriously very personal matters! And how would that help determining whether two people were made for each other? You could easily trust damn horny rabbits to give a passionate reply, though bunnies aren't exactly worldwide renowned for their pure, loving feelings .
Ichigo is not having any of this.
…
A quick glance at the display. Then the watch.
…
Well, he could always –
…
Fuck no.
…
But no one will ever –
…
How come sweet Yuzu owns such a dirty mag anyway? !
…
As a brother, it feels like sort of his duty to check for all inappropriate questions and cross them off, so that Yuzu's childish brain isn't marred for life.
…
Right?
…
18) How often do you have sexual intercourses?
Ichigo is lying down on his belly, ears outstandingly pink, fingers nervously playing with the edge of the bedspread.
It's… not often. But it's not rare either. Plenty of favourite circumstances have to converge for them both to be in the mood, since sex still feels like some holy-ish ritual to perform in sacred times and places. It's not a sissy matter of atmosphere or shit like that, mind you: Ichigo is constantly preoccupied with the practical aspects (such as timing, for it would so not do to be walked in on by someone), while Toshiro is all about feeling comfortable with each other before getting anything started. Whenever they are alone – something that seldom occurs for the record – it's usually not the right place: both the 10th division headquarters and the Kurosaki clinic are high-risk locations. Even if luck's on their side, allowing them to actually get some time alone in a cosy place, one wrong word is all it takes to spoil the moment. And they know no make-up sex yet.
Ichigo vaguely wonders whether it should come as a surprise how disregarding of their hormones both he and the li'l prodigy are. But really, sex is something entirely different from the mere answer to a physical pull – that's what wanking is for. The way they go on about it… Ichigo is fairly sure that light touching, slow stroking, strained angry whimpering have more to do with peacemaking and control – it's a dance of brains, minds finally clicking together, falling into place like jigsaw, an agreement, a truce, a yes and a sorry for anywhere they went wrong.
That's what you get for shaggin' a genius, after all.
Ichigo huffs loudly. Freaking slip of the mind. He never considered Toshiro as a genius to begin with.
19) Is your partner a caring and selfless lover?
Christ. Aren't these girls morbid. If only curiosity had killed the birds, 'nstead of a harmless cat. (Here's when Yuroichi-san's face comes to the redhead's mind, just about as far from 'harmless' as it can get.)
Ichigo shivers. Then lick his lips.
Toshiro is a wanton lover – something that drives Ichigo absolutely wild – though not a needy one in the slightest, let alone a lust-crazed desperate for sex. The demi-hollow has come to realize his 'partner' probably doesn't even like it, in spite of enjoying the feeling in his body. It's not that Toshiro is a control freak per se, though he's not used to rely on others without having to directly command them. The ice master, whose hormones had frozen happily enough throughout the years spent training like a manic in Soul Society, is ever bemused at Ichigo's enthusiasm, which is not, for once, eagerness to oblige him, but a more genuine kind of passion towards him as a person, rather than a captain.
The sub Shinigami knows pretty well how foolish would it be to anticipate a radical change in this respect; truthfully, he's kind of okay with just how things are between them at the moment. Toshiro is learning how to cope with Ichigo wanting him, whilst the redhead is dealing with his own desire and his lover's obvious, if clumsy, answering want.
Seriously though, caring and selfless? ! Where did girls even learn sex was this simple?
(While Toshiro could be defined as a caring lover, he most certainly isn't selfless, which Ichigo's eternally grateful for – in their endless battle of minds that would classify as losing by forfeit.)
20) Does your partner compliment you a lot?
Ichigo snickers. Well, he has got some peculiar insults he only throws at me in private. How's that for sweet talking?
21) Has your partner ever apologized to you?
The teen shifts to get more comfortable, eyes narrowing in pensiveness. Now, Hitsugaya Toshiro is usually the kind of guy who'd rather kill himself than admit to a fault. And it's not like he's wrong often, in truth. Ichigo reckons he'd better hold dear in his memory that one time his 'partner' did apologize, for it's all but likely to happen again…
It was June 17th. The day Kurosaki wouldn't show up at school, like Tatsuki put it.
Toshiro's steps were light on the grass. Ichigo was kneeling down, fingers grazing weakly against the cold marble, too absorbed in his every year quieter mourning to notice anyone approaching.
"You really suck at sensing reiatsu." Were Toshiro's first words. The boy trailed off abruptly, though, upon reading the name carved on the stone.
The redhead turned slowly, pulling a small smile to ease the bitterness of the moment. "Yeah, well, I wouldn't need to if you were tall enough. Your shadow didn't reach me." Ichigo's eyes drifted back to the gravestone and his features relaxed slightly. "Didn't expect you to be here. Rukia told you?"
"No. I'm sorry."
That sounded so odd coming from the ice master's mouth the sub Shinigami actually managed an honest smile. "Don't be. 's not your fault she died." It's mine, the teen mentally went on. His train of thought was cut by a small palm landing on the top of his head. Ichigo turned unhurriedly, dreading to startle that soothing hand away.
"Your mother was killed by a Hollow. As a Shinigami, it is partly my fault as well." The captain said quietly, no emotions seeping through his words. "But that's not what I was apologizing for."
Ichigo felt long, bony fingers entwine with his red locks for a moment, then still awkwardly as if regretting their boldness.
"I shouldn't have followed you. This was obviously supposed to stay a secret. I'm sorry."
The fingers went to shy away. Ichigo caught them before they could retreat, though, and met them with his own in a loose hold, wrists resting on his shoulder.
It's with this very scene playing in his mind that the substitute Shinigami moves onto the next question.
22) Has your partner met your family yet?
Gods, where do I even start. Ichigo moans in annoyance. The story of Toshiro's contacts with the Kurosaki family could fill up its own book, really.
It starts with –
The hell. 'm not going over that now.
Yes will have to suffice for the moment.
23) Does your partner often talk about having children?
All the time. When he's not goin' on about the wedding gift registry, that is.
24) Did you spend last Valentine's/White Day together?
Tch. Last Valentine's was in the middle of the winter war, Ichigo recalls. And Toshiro was in hospital on White Day.
Although they did happen to pass both days together, in hindsight.
25) What do your friends think of your partner?
Ichigo groans, then considers skipping the question. Seriously, it's bad enough his friends even know about Toshiro – and it was so not his fault they figured it out.
Damn Matsumoto was the first to notice Kurosaki's visits didn't cease after her taichou had, suspiciously enough, quit smoking. The blonde fuktaichou couldn't help discussing her theory with the one person in Seireitei she knew was pretty close to the demi-hollow; at least, that's how Ichigo figures Rukia caught on. The two women became less and less subtle with their hinting till one day they took their bulls by the horns, one down in Karakura, the other one at the 10th division headquarters. That was by far the most embarrassing conversation Ichigo has ever had.
"Sooooo, Ichi-nii… you got something you wanna tell li'l lovely Rukia-chan here?"
"Stop talking like that, it's creepy. And don't call me Ichi-nii."
"But I want you to think of me as your elder sister! Y'know, someone you can confide in, trust with your deepest, darkest, dirtiest secrets! I know you've got plenty!"
"You're fucking out of it. Leave me alone."
"Aw, so mean, Ichi-nii. No doubt the kid ice captain is rubbing off on you."
"Come again? !"
"You needn't pretend with your elder sis, Ichigo! You know I will support you no matter what. I'm okay with anything and anyone you choose for yourself, as long as it's not me. Or nii-san. Or Renji, 'cause, really, he's a downright git. And you'd better not pick someone much older than you either, like Urahara-san or, dunno, Ukitake-taichou. I believe he's taken anyway. Besides, technically speaking Hitsugaya-taichou is just about as old, but I'll let you get away with it since he looks like an elementary schoolboy. Which, on second thought, could easily have you arrested for perversion. I'm hoping you won't go flaunting it around. Not that there's something wrong with being in a homosexual relationship, 's just that you two make the oddest couple, and people could get the wrong idea – "
"You got the fucking wrong idea! And why're ye even here anyway? Don't you have some Shinigami duties to attend to or something?"
"Woah, Hitsugaya's really rubbing off on you! Guess that was expected though, what with you being hormonally driven male teenagers. Lots of rubbing involved, I figure."
"GEDDA HELL OUTTA MY ROOM!"
"…"
"… how'd you know Ukitake's taken anyway?"
Most obviously, they do not 'flaunt it', as Rukia put it. Whenever around other people, they barely look at each other, avoid one-to-one conversations and – God forbid! – any kind of touching.
It's just a little awkward when it comes to saying goodbye, since kissing is not acceptable. Maybe it's just him, but Ichigo always feels like Toshiro is having the same thoughts: his teal eyes seem to hold a weird hint of longing as the party splits up to call it a night. Also, they seek for their amber-brown partners much more insistently than before.
Of course, it's just an impression. Probably a wrong one at that.
26) Have you ever had fantasies about your partner's friends?
This has Ichigo moan loudly with – horror? disgust? utter fright? – since his partner's friends are either a bunch of bloodlusting sociopaths or loud, obnoxious, nosy (not to mention terrifyingly well-endowed) idiots.
Figure having a wet dream 'bout Matsumoto. Those damn breasts could suffocate you in your sleep.
Besides, for the sake of maintaining a reputation: Ichigo is not one to fantasize.
…
Well, that was that time in the shower, when he noticed the 'Arctic' bath foam smelled just like Toshiro's hair…
… and that other time in the locker rooms upon seeing Toshiro had come to pick him up at school…
… and all those sleepless nights after their first time, when all Ichigo could seem to see was Toshiro's sweated, naked form writhing on the bed beneath him, and all he could smell the persistent hue of semen in the air – although he'd changed the sheets countless times lest Yuzu noticed anything off.
Ichigo shits uncomfortably on the very same bed of his memories.
27) Do you think of your partner often?
I'm thinking pretty intensely about him right now, is all the redhead answers, feeling sort of hot and bothered.
28) Which part of your partner's body do you like the most?
Oh, for the love of – whoever is there up in the skies that must really hate him by the way.
Even if he's having trouble recalling it at the moment, Ichigo hasn't fallen for Toshiro's admittedly good looks. Beauty alone would hardly be a good enough reason to jeopardize your entire way of life, not to mention practically blow your chances at procreation.
Sure as hell Ichigo finds his lover attractive, but it's hard to point out a single part. What he's really addicted to is the sense of well-being spreading in his body at the mere sight of a spiky white head.
It's probably some kind of spell. Shinigamis know plenty of dark arts after all.
(If he were to pick one part, Ichigo would say Toshiro's got gorgeous hands: smaller than his own, yet lean and graceful, beautifully shaped in spite of belonging to a swordsman. However, there's a slim chance his choice was influenced by the deep knowledge of said hands' abilities in many respects.)
29) Do you trust your partner?
Luckily, the question is a bit of a cool-off. Phew, out of the x-rated zone. Ichigo feels his body heat decrease and his smile arching up in a silly smile.
I'd trust him with my life. Actually had on a couple occasions.
30) Do you respect your partner?
This is preposterous. Ichigo doesn't think he could ever care for someone he did not respect. (Kurosaki Isshin being the sole exception.)
31) Do you and your partner argue a lot?
Well… most of the time they're bickering – Matsumoto calls them lovers tiffs, how sickening – but it's not the jumping-at-each-other's-throats kind of arguing the question seems to be implying. They are boys and soul reapers, after all: no one expects them to have a lovey-dovey, romantic cuddling-filled relationship.
Besides, Ichigo has found in Toshiro someone who gives just as bloody good as he takes.
… that might need rephrasing.
32) Are you happy?
Huh? What's with the grave tone out of the blue?
Ichigo scratches the back of his head. It'd be so damn stupid wishing for happiness after all he's done and seen, after all the fights and the deaths and the bloodshed, after all the fright and the pain. People like him have no right to claim happiness nor reason to anticipate it. Hell, he's 50% a wicked demon who yells inside of him to destroy anything in their way! And the other half is not any better.
As for more human matters, he's an orange-haired orphan coping with the never faded feeling of guilt about his mother's death. Plus, he shares his bedroom with a talking stuffed lion who seems to consider teasing him 'bout his sexuality once every two seconds as the funniest pastime ever conceived.
Ice on the cake, his boyfriend's an uptight asshole and his friends about as weird as they come.
Ichigo has a look around, taking in as many personal objects as he can – his zanpakutō, the family picture with Yuzu and Karin in mom's arms, a growing pile of Rukia's wonderful drawings, the first pack of cigarettes Toshiro left for him to deliver in Seireitei (the redhead kept it to himself).
Things are not that bad after all.
33) Do you want your relationship to last?
Ichigo is so distracted he has to reread the question twice before conjuring up an answer. Stupid magazine. Why would I even bother if I didn't?
(What he really means is, why would I even bother with someone as emotionally numb as Toshiro if I didn't care enough to make it last?)
34) What made you take this test to begin with?
Probably the best question of the lot, Ichigo muses to himself, smirking slightly at the irony. I've taken a quiz about my love life to forget my current lack of thereof. Wonder why it hasn't worked.
Here's when the small rectangular display lightens up and a familiar melody rings about the room.
~ ~ … Miageta yozora no
Hoshi tachi no hikari… ~ ~
Ichigo starts, but doesn't get up from the bed just yet. Bloody bastard took his bloody time. Better give him a taste of his own medicine.
~ ~ … Bokura no omoi mo itsuka
Dareka no sakebi.
Hikari tsutsukeyou
Ano hoshi no you ni… ~ ~
Hell.
~ ~ … Miageta yozora no… ~ ~
" 'llo?"
"Woah, you made it. At last. "
"Same goes for you!"
"Don't you dare start whining like a friggin' woman, Kurosaki! I'm having the worst day ever."
"And I give a shit because…?"
"Fuck you. 'm hanging up."
"Whatever floats your boat."
"…"
"…"
"…"
"How's it such a bad day again?"
"Hinamori has found herself a fucking boyfriend. I mean, what the hell? !"
"Ouch. Bet that sparked off your elder brother complex."
"Like you're one to talk. Is that boy who gave Yuzu a peck on the cheek last week out of hospital yet?"
"Shut your trap. First, she is actually my sister; second, he was hospitalized here and eventually thanked me for my beating up resulted into Yuzu nursing him to full recovery."
"That's because you're the only jerk who'd go around picking fights with kids despite living in a goddamn paediatric clinic."
"I'm picking fights with you all the time as well. You do realize this makes you a kid, right, genius?"
"Don't go brag about it, you giant moron, unless you plan to omit the part where the kid kicked your sorry ass into oblivion."
"Ha, I fear I've been obliviated alright, since I can't recall that ever happening!"
"Always here if you need reminding, Kurosaki."
"Anytime, taichou."
"…"
"…"
"How's your day been so far?"
"Mh. I've had better."
"Tch. Ever the greedy git."
"I've found this magazine. With this, this stupid test."
"You read magazines? Hell, I've always known you're not a thinker, but – "
" 'twas my sister's, you moron."
"Karin's?"
"Yuzu's."
"Oh. So, what's the big deal with a cookery mag? You're not depressed 'cause you scored as a shitty housewife, are you?"
"Shudda fuck up! You know what, forget I even spoke. 'm pissed enough without you being a jerk about it."
"Whatever suits you."
"…"
"…"
"…"
"When are you dropping by again?"
"Maths test's on Monday. Don't know if I can make it this weekend."
"Oh."
"Yeah."
"…"
"I could use some help with it, y'know."
"Could you?"
"Stop that crap and just say you'll do it. Or is differential calculus beyond you, ye prodigy?"
"Nothing you pronounce with that illiterate mouth of yours could ever be beyond me, Kurosaki."
"Didn't seem so to me when we were coverin' rimming."
"…!"
"…"
"I'll see you tomorrow. Not sure about the time though."
"It's fine. I'll be home all day."
"You do that." Click.
Ichigo puts his mobile back on the desk, a familiar happy tingling running up and down his spine. Slowly, dragging his feet as in a state of trance, the teen nears the bed and slumps down heavily, eyes dreamily gazing at the ceiling.
Then a rustling of paper catches his attention.
35) Are you in love with your partner?
Ichigo half snorts half snickers before casting the magazine away (it lands on the floor with a low thud).
What's the point in answering if he doesn't care for the result anyway?
.
If you've made it so far: thank you from the bottom of my heart! *w* Now, on to a li'l A/N: the answers to questions 4 and 22 are not largely developed in here 'cause I'm actually thinking about writing two separate shots for them (one about Ichigo's b-day, the other 'bout Toshiro meeting the Kurosaki family). How does this sound to you?
Also, "Asterisk" lyrics might be incorrect: I wrote them by heart without bothering to check. Bear with lazy me (but it's four-thirty in the morning here, I need s-l-e-e-p).
Reviews are love! Feel free to leave one if you will.
Thank you for visiting this page anyway. ^o^/