Kotoko was browsing through some fashion magazine Marina brought after taking that tasteless lunch by the hospital. Finally she understood why those patients refused to eat those food prepared by the hospital but desired for outside food. As she was reading, the door opened. Kotoko looked up and saw two unfamiliar faces. "You are?"

"Are you Mrs. Irie?"

Kotoko nodded though bewildered by their sudden visit. "You are?"

"So sorry, I've forgotten to introduce myself. I'm Mrs. Arai and this is my daughter, Shizue. A token of our appreciation," Mrs. Arai said politely and put the fruit basket on the table. "I'm so grateful to you for saving my daughter from the robbery case two days ago. If not for you, I can't imagine what will happen to her," Mrs. Arai explained, her voice filled with gratitude and sincerity.

Kotoko thought back as hard as she could on what happened on that day. She remembered pushing a girl away but did not exactly remember how she looked like as she only saw the back and due to the urgency of the situation, she had no time to take a good look at her. At that time, she only knew she needed to push that little girl away. Then she looked at the little girl, dressed in a pink dress, who was holding her mother hand tightly and glancing at her, slightly afraid. Kotoko smiled tenderly as she reminded her of Kotomi.

"Hello Shizue," Kotoko greeted, smiling warmly at her.

Shizue clutched the hem of her mother's blouse tighter.

"Shizune," her mother said sternly.

"It's all right, she is just shy," Kotoko said, smiling. "I'm glad that your daughter is all right. I can't see a girl in danger and not save her. After all, I have a daughter too, so I can totally understand how you feel."

The two mothers discussed about their daughter, about recipes and also the various method for teaching their child. Kotoko also attempt to talk to the little girl, trying to open her up. Unbeknownst to them, there was a man standing outside, their conversation clearly heard.

"Irie-kun," Kotoko greeted brightly as usual.

"How are you feeling?" Naoki asked as he read through the report that was hung on the bed.

"Great," She answered cheerily.

Naoki kept quiet, instead he gazed at her deeply. Kotoko fidgeted uncomfortably.

"Is there anything you hide it from me?" Naoki asked coolly.

Kotoko was stunned for a moment by his sudden change of topic and somehow she got the feeling he knew something. But what can it be? Kotoko shook her head, "No."

"Really?" Naoki asked one more time, with a slight hint of warning.

Kotoko gave herself more thought. Could he have known? But how can he know it? Kotoko answer remained the same. Unexpectedly, Naoki leaned forward and kissed her, one arm circling her waist and the other supporting her head. It was different from how it usually is. The kiss was less gentle, a bit forceful and contained some hint of anger, helplessness and fear intertwined together. Kotoko's also had the nagging feeling that it had some elements of punishment for lying to him. Kotoko struggled at first, trying to catch a breath but that only made him hold her tighter. Slowly, she surrendered, letting him do what he wanted if that could make him less angry.

After what felt like an eternity, Naoki released her. Kotoko took a few deep breaths.

"Why are you so stupid? Can't you think about your life first before you do anything?" Naoki finally shouted. "Do you know you could have been shot in the heart and died? Do you even think what happens after you die? Do you ever think about our feelings? You are already an adult, a mother!"

Kotoko paled. "You know? How can that be?" No one knew about it except her and she swore she never told anyone. So how does he do it?

"There's no eternal secret. If you won't want people to know, then don't do it," Naoki answered coldly.

Kotoko lowered her head guiltily. "I can't help it when I see a child in danger," she answered softly but Naoki heard her.

"I've always wonder how do you manage to sprain your leg. The robbers just ran out to escape and I believe the guns are not meant to hurt people, just a weapon to defend so they can escape. So what makes them shoot? And it is common sense to kneel down if there is any gun shooting. Thus, it raises my doubt even further on how can you sprain your ankle? It must be something that made you run in a hurry. If that the case, what is that something?"

Kotoko was startled by his acute analysis but then he was Naoki. Kotoko never doubt there was anything he could not do. If he was not a doctor, he should try police. "Sorry for making you worry," Kotoko muttered ruefully, her head slightly lowered. In the end, she still caused him trouble despite her efforts for trying not to.

Naoki heaved a helpless sigh. Now the energy to continue chiding her had gone. Instead, he turned around and looked out the window at the greenery. Kotoko peeked at his reaction cautiously.

Naoki had long accepted that Kotoko possessed the flair to make him lost control and it only worsened as his feelings towards her change and deepened. He could never stop worrying about her as she never failed to amaze him on her ability to create trouble.

"Irie-kun?" Kotoko called hesitantly.

Naoki turned his head.

"Can we go out for some fresh air?" She enquired nervously.

Naoki nodded. He needed it too.

Naoki and Kotoko were sitting at the bench, looking at the happenings in front of them. There were people strolling, kids playing at the lawn and some doctors and nurses nearby.

Kotoko breathed deeply and commented, her tone unusually enthusiastic. "How wonderful it is to be outside. The room is so stuffy."

Naoki nodded passively.

Kotoko continued, "It feels so wonderful to breath, to be alive. I can see the trees, the flowers, the animals and the people. I can see anything, everything."

"Irie-kun, look at that eagle," Kotoko pointed to the sky.

"A hawk," Naoki corrected.

"Eh?"

"It's a hawk, not an eagle."

Kotoko smiled sheepishly.

"You should go for lessons with Kotomi," Naoki added critically.

"No! I'm her mother, why must I go study with her," Kotoko retorted hotly.

"Because you need it," was his simple answer.

Kotoko grinned secretly as Naoki finally talked. Suddenly, she hugged Naoki, her arms around his waist her face buried in his chest and muttered, "I'm really sorry for making you worry."

Naoki stiffened, caught unprepared by her sudden action.

"I know you must be extremely worried and afraid. I can imagine how you feel when you received the news. I'm really sorry and I promise you I will be more careful," Kotoko spoke hurriedly, afraid he would push her away. She got so much to tell him and wanted him to hear all of it.

Naoki gently pushed her away so she was face to face with him. Then he raised her chin up slightly, looking into her eyes. There was anxiety, fear, courage and love. She could never really hide her feelings. She was as open as a book.

Kotoko heart skipped a beat at the way Naoki looked at her but she managed to find her voice back. "I know it is my fault that I lied. I just don't wish to cause you more worry as it is, especially when you show me the blood-stained tie. At that time, I wish it has been lost."

Naoki listened attentively.

"But Irie-kun, now I'm alive, I'm fine and I can be discharged soon," Kotoko declared spiritedly. "I can breath, I can see, I can eat and I can speak. Isn't that the most important of all? So stop being angry with me, okay? I promise you I will try to think twice before I do anything," Kotoko said earnestly. He pulled her into his embrace and hugged her tightly, not speaking a word. Action speaks louder than words. Kotoko smiled and hugged him back. She knew he was not angry with her anymore.

For the first time in days, Naoki was truly at ease. He felt assured and comforted. Yes, she is alive and breathing and beside him. He could sense her warmth, her breathing and hear her heartbeat. That was the most important.

Sometimes, Kotoko amazed him, like now. Somehow, she knew just how to make him feel better, not those kind of words of comfort that help externally but from the core. She was clumsy, could not cook, most of the things she done end up in failure, even the simplest thing such as making chocolate could take hours, infuriate him, annoyed him and gave him countless trouble yet without her knowing, she knew just the right kind of support he needs.

During his university years, when his father got an heart attack due to stress, he was ready to give up his ambition to be a doctor and took over his father's company, despite it was a dream he spent years to find. However, there were times you did not have a choice. He did not know why he confided in her, explaining to her his plans as he never had a habit to tell anyone his decision but when it comes to Kotoko, he did too many things he never done. To his surprise, Kotoko hugged him from behind, feeling sad for him. He did not push her away. Amazingly, the simple gesture meant a lot to him at that time. He felt like he could do it and at that time, there was one fastest way to save his father company. He agreed to the matchmaking dinner though in the end, the plan fell through.

Kotoko lifted her head up and called hesitantly, "Irie-kun?" He had been quiet for the last few minutes. Though she loved being in his embrace, she needed to know his reaction. The uncertainty was killing her.

Naoki released her a little, lifted her chin up and then lowered his head, sealing her mouth up with a kiss. This time, it was gentle, persuasive, inducing her to respond and with a passion that only she could ignite. Not long later, Kotoko surrendered to his kiss and responded with equal passion, her arms around him.

Kotoko was breathless by the time Naoki released her. She was gasping for air when Naoki suddenly said, "That will never happen."

She tilted her head sideway in puzzlement. Naoki smiled softly at her expression, not explaining.

If she could think twice before doing anything, he would not have suffered so many heart attacks. Excluding those major ones, he could easily name others. During their honeymoon where she ran out of the room due to some insignificant jealousy and then ended up losing her way back. Then the time when he brought her to visit his maternal grandparents in Kyushu and to gain his grandfather recognition, she took up his challenge to go to the wild to pick up the Akebia but till night, there was still no sign of her back. Worried, especially when she had night blindness, Naoki went out in search for her. There is also the time when Satomi water broke halfway when they were on the road and Kotoko took over her and drove the car without a license. He scolded her, extremely angry for not thinking her actions properly and the danger Satomi, her unborn child and her could be in.

With her around, it became extremely difficult for him to be nonchalant.

Kotoko was occupied with her television programs while Naoki decided to go to the cafeteria and bought some coffee. Along the way, he sensed those infatuation gazes from the ladies. Naoki continued walking unaffectedly. Since young, ever since he insisted on dressing back to a boy after being mocked by his classmates, he had been receiving such stare from the female gender and it kept on increasing as he grew up.

If Kotoko was here, she would grumble, Naoki thought to himself with a faint smile as he could totally imagine her reaction. Despite their marriage for years and even had a daughter together, Kotoko would still grumble a little whenever he received attention from women, and also during Valentine's day and New Year's Day. She would made comments such as he was already married, he had a daughter etc. However, she no longer became jealous unnecessarily, unlike when they just get married during their honeymoon, she ran out of the room in anger because she did not want him to touch any other woman. He could understand how she felt so insecure and surreal over the situation at that time as after six years of one-sided love, or so she thought, they were actually together and married too.

Actually her worry is unnecessary. If he was easily moved by those women, long before he met her, he would have dated many women, much prettier and smarter than her too. Yes, with his IQ and memory, he could easily remember all those girls in his class but none of them stirred his emotions like her. Kotoko never understood how much influence she had on him.

Naoki had no habit of explaining his actions but he actually explained to Kotoko how he was not really interested to enter Tokyo University when he caught her wanting to leave the house, blaming herself for causing him to miss the entrance exam. He told her of his decision to be a doctor when he was in the midst of preparing for it. Unconsciously, because of her, he did things he never does. He hated how things were out of control but when it comes to Kotoko, nothing was within his control. Even during the time when he did not know why he was angry with Kotoko and he could not help it but behaved coldly towards her until it actually affected his exams. He knew it was one of his worst performance ever and for the first time he had no confident in being top. Because of her, he knew what jealousy felt like and never would he want to experience it again. He hated how his emotions were so easily affected by someone other than himself. He tried to resist at first. Soon he realised it was futile. So he had accepted it and decided to take in stride.

After getting his coffee, outside the ward he heard the all too familiar argument by the two most precious people in his life.

In the room, Kotoko and Konomi were fighting over where the piece for the jigsaw puzzle should be place.

"It's here," Konomi insisted firmly, pointing to the one at the left.

"No, is here," Kotoko said stubbornly too, pointing to the one at the right.

Konomi came after school, accompanied by her grandmother Mrs. Irie. Mama brought along some home-made dishes too, knowing how tasteless hospital food can be and Kotoko thanked her with tears in her eyes.

Kotoko took a bite of the food gratefully. "Mum, you don't know how tasteless the food is. I can't wait to get out of here and eat the food you cook."

As for Naoki, he sat at the chair, reading his newspaper and some medical journal articles peacefully, indifferent to the argument.

This is his family.

Kotoko was sleeping soundly after a tiring day. After Mama and Konomi returned, Christine came for a visit along with Satomi and they were happily discussing about which doctor is handsome, which is their type etc. Then, her father came over and they went for a walk at the garden, having some father-daughter bonding time. Next it was time for the tasteless dinner and spent the next few hours reading some comic books and magazine.

For Naoki, he went home for some rest and settled some work.

Kotoko was sleeping soundly after a tiring day. After Mama and Kotomi returned, Christine came for a visit along with Satomi and they were happily discussing about which doctor is handsome, which is their type etc. Then, her father came over and they went for a walk at the garden, having some father-daughter bonding time. Next it was time for the tasteless dinner and spent the next few hours reading some comic books and magazine.

For Naoki, he went home with Mama and Kotomi and settled some work such as answering phone calls from the hospital, checked his emails and wrote some reports. After ensuring Kotomi was asleep, he left the house.

Naoki stepped into the ward quietly and watched her sleeping so peacefully and contentedly. Tomorrow she could be discharged. Naoki caressed her cheeks tenderly, feeling her supple, soft skin under his touch. He noticed a comic book in her hand and he smiled, not surprised. It must be she was reading and along the way she fell asleep. Naoki pulled out the comic book gently and put it at the table. Expectedly, it was some shoujo comic book and he did not read to know it must be some guy love the girl and did a lot of stupid thing such as a candlelight dinner, give her some unexpected surprise to make her happy. These books must have given her ideas on how a date is to be and then spending hours thinking, dreaming of a date plan and then expected him to follow along, which he never did as he found it extremely foolish.

"Why do you always make me worry?" Naoki asked as she continued sleeping. When he proposed, he already knew and accepted the fact that he loves her. However when he first waited her for hours at the hotel only to see her stained with blood, he realised how deep his love is. It happened so naturally, unconsciously. And now, when he almost thought he was going to lose her that he realised how afraid he was of losing her. She became such a natural existence to him, as natural as breathing, that he could not imagine how life is without her.

Yes, he is a genius, a doctor yet he is also a human.

He never wants to see a day where the person lying on the bed in the operating theatre, waiting for him to save is her.

"Kotoko, you have to stay by my side forever and grow old together," Naoki whispered as he traced her facial features - first her eyebrow, then her nose, her cheeks and lastly her lips.

"Uh," Kotoko whimpered. Naoki froze for a second, believed she had woken up but she was still sleeping as soundly as before. It must be her dream. Naoki shook his head at his paranoid behaviour.

Naoki eyes fell on her soft, luscious pink lips that seemed to be tempting him to taste it. Giving in, he lowered his head and kissed her lightly on her soft lips, tons of unspoken feelings and love for her contained in this simple kiss.

Naoki never knows how he is going to react if she leaves him.

He was not confident that he could act the way Kotoko's father does.

Not at all.

-The end-

Yay, another itakiss fic completed. ^_^ You can take it as a continuation of my previous fic or you can read it as another one-shot fic.

Some reflections while writing the fic:

Actually, I did think of ending with Kotoko heard what Naoki say but I decided not to, because I just love the idea of how Kotoko's never know how much he loves her. It will forever be a secret. Hahaa Partly I don't think Kotoko is such a light sleeper that she can sense someone entering and if she heard what he says, her normal reaction would be a smirk and going all giddy. She can't patiently and calmly listen what Naoki says. It is just not like her. So I abolished that idea.

Actually this fic I have started it months ago and stopped for quite some time due to writer's block and I tried to force myself to complete but I'm not happy with it so I decided to stop until I got inspiration. Finally it had come and ta-da, this is the result. =)) Overall, I'm quite happy and it took me quite some time. I refer to my previous fic quite frequently as I don't want too much overlap. I did my best to reduce as much as it is, but there are still some overlap. So you could only bear with it. =PP Hahaa

While writing fanfic, I tried to retain as much orignality as I could while putting some of my observation, my analysis and my ideas in it. In the previous fic, I explore Naoki's love, and in this, I explore his fear and also his love, naturally. One of the scene I like most is Naoki and Kotoko's father, while I was writing of Kotoko's met with a mishap, I was thinking how similiar Kotoko's father and Naoki situation is and believe that he is the best to advice Naoki and understand him most. In the manga, there is a scene where Naoki actually confessed to Kotoko's father that she never knows how much he loves her. *melts* So the more I feel I must pen down Kotoko's father and Naoki. And it is nice exploring Kotoko's father to his wife death, though I not so sure what is the reason, so I never pen it down with too much details, it is up to your own imagination, whether it is accident or weak body etc. From what I remembered, it is reveal that she passed away when Kotoko was young.

Lastly, as I write, I realise that in the manga and anime, though Kotoko always take more initiatives, the one who more open to her feelings and show it through her actions, and seemingly very one-sided, surprisingly Naoki is the one that initiated the kiss most of the time. =)) As we all know, he is more subtle in expressing his emotions. So in this fic, naturally he is the one that initiated it. =))

That's all the blabbering on my thoughts when writing the fics. Next, on a more serious note, I hope you all enjoy reading it. ^_^ Thanks to all those who supported my previous fic and do continue supporting this. =)) I guess I have explore enough of Naoki's feelings and highly doubt there will be another one. Maybe I will try Kotoko's next. It depends. Though there is a second fic, I got to say don't put too mugh hope on a third one. You know, higher hope, higher disappointment. =PP If you don't hope, you might get a surprised instead.

Lastly, I hope you all feel satisfied after reading it. I wish to concentrate on my HNG fic - My Go Pro Father. I intend to complete it. Currently still at writer's block mode. T_T

© Crazebluez