Disclaimer: I don't own anything. This is yet another challenge ficlet, written for the 10-7-10 prompt of "happy meal" at lita_fics at LJ. It's mostly just dialogue and not a lot else, but I had fun writing it. Hope you enjoy.
Summary: She was never going to take them with her to McDonald's again.
"Hey!" Chris protested as the burger he was just about to take a bite out of was snatched from his hands. "That's my Happy Meal!"
Christian smirked and settled himself into the booth beside of Chris, laughing triumphantly as he did so.
"Yeah? Well, your thighs are telling me you don't need any more burgers, fatty."
The other man glared and knitted his brows together in frustration as he spoke.
"Oh, is that so? Well, your face is telling me that my fist is going to connect with it if you don't give me back my burger!" Chris pounded his fist on the table to illustrate his point; Christian only laughing harder at that.
"Damn it, Jay, give my fu-"he paused, noticing that there were small children in the restaurant, and corrected himself. "Look, smartass, hand over my freaking burger. Now."
At that moment, Lita made her way to the booth, two milkshakes in one hand and a small salad in the other. She stared at the two men, perplexed, and questioned,
"What's going on?"
Christian merely snorted as he raised the burger to his lips, knowing that it would taunt Chris.
"Li!" Chris yelled, eyes wide. "He took my burger!"
Lita whipped her head around.
"You took his burger?" She asked in disbelief.
"I can't even leave the two of you alone for ten seconds."
"Make him give it baaack!" Chris moaned, his voice shrill. Lita bit back her laughter and instead turned to Christian yet again, who was choking on one of the fries he'd swiped from Lita's tray.
"Jay, that's not nice, now give Chris his burger," Lita scolded. "And tell him you're sorry."
Christian looked at his friend as though she'd grown a second head, and firmly refused.
"No way!" He gestured to his own body. "Besides, look at me. I'm wasting away; I could use the protein."
Lita rolled her eyes and took a sip of her milkshake.
"Jay, don't be ridiculous, you're not wasting away. In fact," she reached under the table and pinched his stomach, causing Christian to yelp, "I'd say you're almost on par with Chris. You just don't show it because you're taller."
The blond man looked like he'd been punched in the stomach at that; he shook his head and set the burger down on the tray in front of him as he let Lita's words sink in. After a few moments of long, awkward silence between the three of them, Christian finally spoke.
"You know, Li, maybe you're right."
"About what?" Lita asked, confused.
"What you said." Christian poked his stomach and scowled when he felt it jiggle. "I need to get in shape and eat better so that I don't end up looking like Fatty McFatpants over there. So," he paused, and, in one quick movement, reached across the table and snatched the salad in one quick movement.
"I'll just eat your salad instead."