Summary: A relationships not official until you get married on Facebook.

Warning! this is CRACK and my first atempt at it! They are NOT in character.

Dont own Bleach, if I did, Ichigo would still be able to see Rukia.


Facebook-1

After a hard day of filling out paperwork as my new position as lieutenant you'd think I would like to relax right. Well, I enter my spiffy new room and rush over to turn on my expensive piece of technology.

Proved you wrong

No it's not the iPad.

Those are overrated. Mine is still in my used stuff.

Anyway, I wait as my laptop starts up and shit. Then I go on the biggest creation known to man-dead and alive-.

Facebook

Cue sound of the heavens.

Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhh

Let me sign in.

Email : rkuchiki

Password: *****************

My password is soo not 1likestrawberries

Back off hoe

Connecting!

.

271 Notifications

36 Friend Requests

9 Invitations

Ichigo Kurosaki has poked you

Renji Abari has poked you

Damn.

Alright, easy stuff first.

You have poked Ichigo Kurosaki

..

Renji can wait. Heh

Yea I'm that badass

Fear me

Who wants to be my friend now besides everyone?

Smug much? Yes very, deal.

I don't know him

Don't know her

I would never-ever-be friends with a dude called Scooter Douchey. It's like against the law.

My law bitch.

Ughhh

I DON'T WANNA PLAY FARMVILLE WITH YOU RENJI!

Like fer reals, I have a life. I have better things to do than Farmville.

Like Ichigo

Yes definitely gots to do Ichigo

Mhmm

I don't feel like checking my notifications but if I don't, they never end!

They keep going and going…like the energizer bunny. BUNNIES FTW

You've bee- Blah blah blah

Is all I see while my pretty little orbs skim through the list until something caught my eye.

Ichigo Kurosaki has tagged you in his status.

Well that's interesting. How can I not look?

Clickity click.

Ichigo Kurosaki: nothing makes you feel better than to know you have a personal bitch. Right Rukia Kuchiki?

5 people like this.

What the fuck!

Im soo commenting.

Dear dickhead,

You must suffer brain damage if you think I am your bitch. You are MY bitch you got that! Cuz I am the master pimp and you are my man bitch. Feel my wrath and hear me roar!

Meow.

That ought to teach him. Oh I forgot!

Btw

I liked this to unlike it. Suck on that!

Yup

I'm happy now

Happy

I clicked home and saw all the news feeds that the world decides I should know about

Kenpach Zaraki: ichigo you bastard be a man and fight me you pussy

4 people like this

Youand 4 people like this

Har har loser

Orihime Inoue: should I tell him how I feel?

2 people like this

Let's skip this one

Ulquiorra Shiffer has uploaded a new photo

214 people like this

Dude

I thought he was dead…

Winry Rockbell: I pwnd Edward Elric. He's my bitch. Man bitches FTW.

12 people like this

You and 12 people like this

Amen sister! Pwn that bitch good!

Its never too late for foreplay ;)

Such a good friend.

Hmmm what should I put as my status? I tapped my fingers against my laptop while I sat deep in thought. Well everybody knows he's my bitch.

I need to do something new…

I'll just scribble in some crap now.

Rukia Kuchiki: love is fucked up. Like fer reals

Woah

Holy nut fucker!

154 comments already, which means notifications galore

Sheit

I love you

Marry me

You're amazaziiiiiiiing! :D

You fiiiiiiiiiiine

Rukia FTW

Damn you sexy

Ahh

People love me!

Ichigo Kurosaki has poked you.

Oh this is war!

You poked Ichigo Kurosaki.

Yes, yes I did.

Oh lookie here! He tagged me again!

Clickity click

Ichigo Kurosaki: Rukia Kuchiki is a bitch. My sexy bitch. Captains meeting- later

459 people like this

You and 459 people like this

Damn Imma sexy bitch!

I KNOW WHAT I GOTTA DO TODAY!

Log out.

Email: rukiashoe

Password: *************

His password is so not 2sexi4mypants

Which he is, mind you

Connecting!

453 Notifications

32 Friend Requests

3 Invitations

Rukia Kuchiki has poked you

Orihime Inoue has poked you

Renji Abari has punched you

Byakuya Kuchiki has Senbonzakura'd you

How. The. Hell

That's not what I'm here for. No distractions…

Who am I kidding

You went banki on Byakuya Kuchiki's ass

That's right, I beat his ass.

Ok so I tweak here do this there and voila.

….

Yea I'm that badass.

….


Ichigo had just gotten back from a captains meeting and had just returned to his office. Knowing his petite girlfriend had a lieutenants meeting next, he took his time and slowly signed on to his Facebook.

What he saw blew him away.

Relationship status.

Rukia Kuchiki is now married to her bitch Ichigo Kurosaki. She will now fuck the living daylighs outta him.

Rukia Kuchiki fucked you

How. The . hell.

And let's not forget

Byakuya Kuchiki murdered your ass.

Why Facebook, why?


So dont ask me what went though my head when i wrot this. i really dont know.

i hope it entertained you a bit.

i needed some distraction .

this week's bleach chapter (423 i think...) really messed me up :(

how can it end for them like that?

i will not give up!

to show my dedicaton i even made a video today too!
if your into the sad but meaningful ichiruki vids then i suggest you see it.

.com/watch?v=2FRMzeYDW0U

leave a comment my way loves!