Disclaimer: I bought the cutest little baby shoes today but no Mentalist.

a/n: Oh my goodness guys, it's been so long since I've been on here! I'm terribly sorry about the wait for this story, I know a lot of people have been eagerly awaiting it and I finally got some free time to type up the first chapter. Ara has been keeping me on the go, it's almost her third birthday! And only a couple more months until Patrick and I welcome baby #2 (our first child together). Okay, now back to the story, obviously there will be some differences from the plot line of 'Take Away'. I'm trying a different approach to them sleeping together, you'll see what I mean in this first chapter. Also I'm generally not comfortable writing Jane but this first chapter just wanted to be 'him'. I'll attempt to keep it pretty even between the two, although I'm kinda biased when it comes to Lisbon. I just love writing her.

I owe this entire story to: Nellie, thank you for kicking me in the butt, and holding my hand while I complained about work, and backaches, and Patrick. You're too sweet. Also, I'm going to kick your butt if you don't get to updating some things Missy!

A soft evening glow had settled over the bullpen of the CBI, bathing the brown leather couch in warmth and making the man occupying it let out a sigh of content. He'd almost left. He would have to...if the team didn't need him so much. Yeah, okay, perhaps that wasn't the whole truth but it sounded good and the only person he'd come close to admitting the absolute truth to was none other than Teresa Lisbon. He'd told her that he had no where else to go, nothing else to do. He was starting to trust her a little too much for his own good.

He had to get the Red John case back. Bosco couldn't have it, it wasn't right. It was their case, his case, and it'd been taken away rudely and handed off to another team. For what? To punish them? He didn't buy the bullshit Minelli had passed off as a viable reason. It wasn't because he was too close, he'd always been too invested. It involved the man who had murdered his family, of course it was too personal.

Then there was Lisbon, she was somehow linked to Bosco, worked under him and such but there was something else. Something more and it had started to bug him. It was no doubt his minds way of dealing with the events of the day, the sting of losing a case he was a part of, but it let his brain have a little break from the torture it'd been dealing with throughout the day. Coming up with ways to get the case back was tiring. Thinking of things that had to deal with a certain spitfire who was still cooped up in her office, however, was almost relaxing to him. He wasn't stupid, he knew it probably hurt her to lose such a big case too, probably hurt when he'd said some things that he didn't really mean but for some reason, he couldn't say the words 'I'm sorry'. Instead he used fruit to make peace. It worked too, kind of.

The warmth shining through the windows suddenly wasn't so great, and he opened his eyes to stare up at the ceiling. So much had been happening and to lose something so important just really poured salt into the wound. He'd killed a man to save Lisbon. She still didn't know what to think about that and had been rather tense with him since. She was still required to see the CBI shrink and he'd already been cleared which she hadn't been happy about either. It was all a very tiring but he'd do it again. He'd kill the man again if it were to save her. She deserved life. In all honesty, he wasn't sure if she was warring with herself over the fact that he'd actually saved her or over the conversation they'd had in the cellar merely moments before.

He was curious. He needed to know. He needed to know now or it'd only eat away at him and he had enough on his shoulders already. Sitting up, he pushed himself off the couch and headed for the office he actually enjoyed visiting on occasion. The woman it belonged to was becoming a big part of his life, he hated to admit it. Hated that if he wasn't thinking of Red John, then his thoughts were wandering to the dark haired beauty. He absolutely hated that his chest felt tight and kind of fluttery when she smiled and that by hugging her, he'd only made things worse. He'd only made it harder to deny that he was getting too close, that he was caring too much. The woman was dangerous, well more like he was a danger to her wellbeing, to her health but she was somehow making it harder and harder to remain aloof.

Each step that took him closer to her door, only cemented the fact that he was in trouble. Big trouble. He couldn't deal with feelings when he was occupied with Red John. It'd make everything messy. He didn't want messy and he didn't want Teresa Lisbon. Or maybe that was it, maybe he strictly wanted her for physical purposes, maybe he just needed a release. He was a man, and it'd been awhile since he'd had a woman's company. Perhaps, he didn't actually have feelings for her. It was a stretch but he was willing to grasp at straws to explain it away. Red John was the reason he was there, the reason for his hunt. Red John. Not Lisbon. He had to keep that in mind. He couldn't let her get in the way. But maybe, if she needed a release too...no, he couldn't let his mind think such things. He had to keep his priorities straight. Red John. Not Lisbon. Part of him knew that his reasoning was whack, he knew that there was more to it but if he pretended then maybe it'd go away. It'd disintegrate. He could hope anyway.

Jane stood outside the door, just reading her name over and over for a good twenty minutes before he finally pushed it open without so much as knocking. There was no need for such things. She didn't even expect it out of him anymore so why ruin a good thing?

He almost sighed when seeing her, she looked tired all hunched over her desk with her fingers pinching the bridge of her nose. That was all the proof he needed to show that she was bothered by the turn of events and he actually wanted to hug her again. Clearly not one of his better ideas, although at the time it'd just seemed like the thing to do. She was too warm though, too little, so easy to wrap his arms around and dammit he needed to focus. However, when she acknowledged his presence by raising her eyes to meet his, he stepped forward and actually pushed the anger and guilt away for just a little while.

"Hey." A small grin tilted his lips at her greeting. She looked almost scared of what he could possibly say or do and with the way their last few days had gone, he guessed she had a right to be. He didn't have the heart to tell her that it'd only get worse.

"Hi."

"You okay, Jane?" Her voice took on that hushed, worried tone and her head tilted ever so slightly to the left, making her bangs fall away from her eyes. That was another thing, she'd changed her hair and wore a bit more makeup, and it was definitely something that was getting his attention in ways that it shouldn't. The woman was beautiful without help but with it she just, well it was just a lot harder to focus on his sole reason for existing; vengeance.

"M'fine."

"Look, I'm sorry about the Red John case but Bosco's one of the best. I'm not thrilled about it either but -"

"Not why I'm here." Her brow furrowed, eyes glittering in curiosity despite the words never leaving her lips. "There's something bothering me."

"I gathered that much."

"Are you mad because I saved your life or -"

"Oh for Pete's sake will you give that up already? I'm not mad at you for..." It puzzled him that she let the sentence trail off, almost as if saying the words would bring some impending doom upon them.

"Can I finish? Now, as I was saying, I'm not sure whether you're upset over that or because of our talk."

"What talk? We've had several, we talk quite often Jane." She was deliberately being difficult, he could tell that she knew exactly what he was referring to and it only confirmed the suspicions he'd been having. It was definitely that 'conversation' that had her feathers ruffled. It'd been weeks though, he'd figured she'd just forget about it.

"You know what I'm referring to and that's it, isn't it?" The sigh that flew from her lips was reassurance. "Lisbon, if you have a problem -"

"A problem? You know what Jane? I do. I have a huge problem with someone telling me that they'd rather be dead than alive. Go figure."

"So you do know what I'm talking about, and that's not what I said. You're twisting it around."

"How so?" If anger was a visible forcefield, he was pretty sure she'd be surrounded. But she wasn't mad at him which confused him a little. It was like she was angry because of his thinking but not with him. He watched her fingers twitch, almost as if they wanted to reach out and shake him.

"I believe, I told you to wait, you didn't because you said I'd be dead if you had and I'm pretty certain that I said something along the lines of...oh right; you would have had Red John."

"Can we not do this? It's been a rough week."

"Yeah, but you know, perhaps if you'd waited then we wouldn't even be dealing with losing the Red John case." The words filled the air without thought and silence settled between them. Lisbon looked as though he'd slapped her and immediately he wanted to take it back.

"Are you blaming me?" He wanted to say no but in truth, that's exactly what he'd implied and it bothered him that she looked hurt, stunned, a little lost.

"That came out wrong."

"Did it?" Jane felt as though someone had punched him in the gut the second he registered that her words sounded unsure, a bit watery. He was hurting her feelings, betraying her trust. He just couldn't get it right with her. It was probably best, it'd keep her at arm's length but he didn't really want that.

"Teresa," He was pushing it by bringing her first name into things. "I..."

"I don't want to do this right now, okay? I have paperwork to finish." That was her polite way of asking him to leave but he didn't move as she dropped her head back to her work. It hadn't been his intention to blame her for something she really didn't have any control over. That was not the reason he'd come to her office and he wasn't going to leave with her thinking it was.

First it was the brush of his fingers, his hand moving to cover hers to stop her from rearranging the papers on her desk, then it was the grasping of those same fingers to remove the pen from her hold. She wasn't looking at him, it happened quickly, and somehow – he honestly couldn't recall – he ended up rounding her desk. He was in front of her, then next to her and his hand hadn't left it's place. Her skin was warm, tempting as he felt something bubble deep within.

"Lisbon, I don't blame you." When she looked up at him, he could see that she wasn't quite sure what to believe and with what he hoped to be a reassuring grin, he closed his fingers around her palm and tugged. "What do you say we try that hug again?"

"Wha-no!"

"Oh c'mon woman, you were clearly taken off guard by the first." He hadn't given her much of a notice though, and they'd never actually touched in such a way before and here he was, asking her to do it again. He knew he'd won when she stood up. The seriousness of his words were pushed away, something they were both good at doing and when her lips tilted upwards, he knew he was at least partially forgiven. It was something.

Stepping closer, he cautiously pulled her into his chest. It was slower than the hug he'd given her with the strawberries, more intimate. Hands gripped her gently, one resting on the back of her neck to keep her in place for more than just a quick second and her tense body slowly relaxed. Her arms moved from being at her sides, barely touching his hips, to wrap around him and rest beneath his shoulder blades. It felt nice. He hadn't held a woman in a long time and that was exactly what he was doing to her. He wasn't hugging her, he was holding her.

After a few minutes, she squirmed a little, clearly growing uncomfortable but he didn't want to let go. He only eased up enough to let her move back an inch or so. She tried to go further but he caught her, wanting the moment to last just a bit longer, wanting to bask in her scent, breathe her in. She kept silent, but her muscles were tensed again and when he let her pull back enough to meet her gaze, he saw uncertainty. He saw questions and he was pretty sure if he looked in the mirror, he'd the same dancing in own eyes but he wasn't about to run to the bathroom to test the theory. He was too busy, too relaxed. She made him feel relaxed, and he wanted to hang on to that for just one minute more. Without thinking, he leaned in, let his nose bump gently against hers and felt the puff of air leave her lips.

She was so tense, she was practically shaking and she tried to lightly step away but the hand on the back of her neck didn't let her go anywhere and before she could say something to stop him, he pressed his mouth to hers. She whimpered, but he didn't pull back. Just one second. That's what he told himself but the second became more when he let his lips brush over hers just once. He felt a wave of pleasure shoot straight through him so he did it again, and again until she wasn't trying to get away anymore. When her small hands gripped his jacket and she pressed her body into his, he remembered. He remembered who he had in his arms, who he was kissing, who had just parted her lips to let his tongue explore. She felt good against him, her kiss felt intoxicating. He never thought she'd give in, let him do such a thing or even encourage it by the flick of her warm wet tongue against his own but Lisbon was doing just that. Indulging, he pulled her closer, holding her tighter and tangling his fingers in her hair but apparently that was the wrong thing to do.

She jerked away immediately, breathing erratic, lips swollen and eyes wide. Reality crashed hard. He'd kissed her, he'd kissed the woman he'd just spent months convincing himself to keep at a safe distance. Hell, he'd just been preaching to himself something along those same lines moments before. What the hell had gotten into him?

He could see she was thinking the same thing as her hands uncurled from his jacket and dropped to her sides. Shame etched into her features as well as embarrassment and he let her take three stumbling steps backwards causing her to almost trip over her chair. For the longest time they just stared. He had no idea what to say, thankfully she made it easy.

"T-that uh, that never happened." Nodding dumbly, he inwardly agreed and was relieved that she wasn't expecting something more. He couldn't give it. "You should go."

"Yeah." For a few more seconds, they both just stood there, staring as if the answer to why they'd both just had their tongues down each other's throats would mysteriously appear on the other's forehead. He didn't want to leave without saying something more so he offered up the only thing he could think of. "I'm sorry, I didn't come in here to blame you and then...I'll just go."

He left her standing there, looking shell shocked and didn't turn back. That had not been his intention. Quite the opposite but he couldn't help but wonder if the only reason she'd kissed back was because of the tension that'd built between them since the incident with Hardy or because of something else. Berating himself, he yelled for thinking such things when more important matters were lingering. He told himself to forget and remember that Red John was still his number one priority. Getting the case back was going to be hard enough, he didn't need any distractions.

An2: There's chapter one of my next epic. I want to say I'll update soon but we all know how horrible I am at these things. I'm off to find the vanilla pudding...I swear either this kid will love vanilla pudding or hate it with a passion but she's making me crave it like no other.