A/N: The original plot bunny for this story arose because Krisha's Alfred was so competent and patient getting the professor ready for bed that I kept thinking: jeez, I need a servant like that. However, even though I mostly had the Stuttgart cast in mind writing this, I am *not* envisioning those ridiculous spandex pants for von Krolock. Let's all imagine him into his Budapest or revivalvienna outfits instead.

Alfred knocked where Koukol directed him, but looked back once more. "Are you sure he wants me to-?"

"Guuhrn," said Koukol. Go in.

Before Alfred could ask any more questions the count spoke up from inside. "I'm waiting, Alfred."

He pushed the door open and stepped in, as firmly as he could. He was ready. They had bargained like equals tonight, reached a solution, shaken hands… and now it was time to deliver what he'd promised: one year, in exchange for Sarah's immediate expulsion, unbitten, from the castle. One year, during which he would be a servant but well-treated, at the count's beck and call but off-limits to his son, subject to polite requests for blood but never bitten without permission. The terms were quite generous, really, considering he was getting Sarah's safety in return. For that he would have paid any price.

So he was just going to have to get used to dealing with a vampire, that was all. He set his jaw and came forward. "Um… hello?" He was horrified to hear that his voice came out as a cracking squeak. "You wanted to see me?" he said to the count's back.

"My servants call me sir or Master," the count said placidly, without turning around.

"Oh- yes sir. Sorry sir." Alfred came a bit closer. "You wanted me?"

Von Krolock turned to face him then, spread his arms wide and waited.

"Er." Was he supposed to give the vampire a hug? Alfred came closer until they were just inches apart. "Um. What do you…?"

With a quick haughty tilt of his chin von Krolock explained: "I've seen how you care for that old man you travel with, Alfred, and I want similar treatment. Not because I'm infirm, but because I am lazy and I enjoy being pampered. Begin."

Alfred jumped and couldn't believe how stupid he was today. Of course the count didn't want a hug. He wanted to be undressed. Much better, that. Much less creepy.

First he fumbled for the buttons of von Krolock's waistcoat, undoing them as fast as his fingers could move. "Of course, of course, I can do that. Will you want it every day- er, night? Because, I mean, I can just come in, or you can call for me, either way is fine, I suppose it depends where I'll be sleeping, you know, whatever's most convenient." He was bent almost double now, amazed at how many buttons there were. "Here, here, sorry, almost done, sorry." He had to kneel to get at the last few rows, and as he finished up he laughed a little and said, "No wonder you want help with this thing."

"I like my servants silent, Alfred."

"Oh! Sorry… sir." Master still tasted a little strange in his mouth.

He rose and worked the topcoat off von Krolock's shoulders, and laid it carefully on the bed. The bed. He hadn't even noticed it before. "But I thought you slept in the- oh-… Sorry." He shut his mouth under von Krolock's stare and took the waistcoat off next, sweeping the count's hair back from his shoulders into a single neat cascade as he did. He managed that much silently, at least, but then had to ask, "Where's your hairbrush? I mean- that is, if you want me to-."

"Over there."

"Right, all right, thanks, sorry." He fetched it fast and went to work, glad to see that the count's hair was not very tangley. He thought it would have made a bad impression if he had started yanking and hurting on his very first day of work.

But the count was so tall that Alfred couldn't really see what he was doing. "Will you sit, sir?" he said, almost in a whisper. He was trying to be quiet! It's just they hadn't figured out a routine yet, that was all. Of course once he got used to things it would all go much smoother.

Von Krolock sighed and sat down on the bed – but that wasn't much better, because now Alfred couldn't get behind him unless he wanted to crawl up onto the bed himself, which he probably shouldn't. Instead he just brushed awkwardly from the side, until the hair fell smooth and shining, and then he set the brush down straight away and knelt to do the boots.

They were really amazing boots. He remembered just in time not to compliment them aloud.

When von Krolock was down to his pants and shirtsleeves he shooed Alfred away. "Enough, enough for today. I've had a very busy night, and I want peace and quiet before I sleep."

"But I have been-!…er…"

"-… Quiet?" the count finished for him, arching an eyebrow.

"Sorry."

Von Krolock laughed softly and gestured him out. "You should get your rest in the daytime, because I'll expect you awake at night. Go – Koukol will show you where to sleep. If Herbert or anyone else bothers you, come to me and I will put a stop to it."

"Anyone else?" Alfred repeated in alarm. "How many other vampires are there here?"

"I'm not certain," von Krolock said with a small graceful shrug. "Sometimes they bite people when I'm not looking, and then there are more."

"B-…" Alfred swallowed. "I-…"

There was a long silence… and then von Krolock laughed.

Alfred tried to relax. "Oh-… you were joking. Right?"

"Of course."

"There aren't any other vampires here."

"Oh no no – there are," von Krolock corrected. "But they would never dare bite anyone without my permission."

"… Which you won't give."

Silence.

"Right? Sir?"

Von Krolock smiled, cool and courteous. "Good night, Alfred."