Practice makes Perfect

AN: I'm sick, and I needed a little pick-me-up. This is it darlings.

WARNING: Very strong T. Inexplicit sex with one very explicit line. DO NOT READ IF YOU'RE NOT PRO MANONMAN !

Sirius sat by the fire, legs crossed with his hair tied back as he went over Harry's transfiguration homework, which was due after the holidays. He pushed his reading glasses up his nose with a frown, rereading a sentence after having corrected it. The clatter of cutlery was the only noise aside from the crackling fire, Remus having a belated dinner. His meeting had run late, but it didn't seem to bother him – Sirius would sneak glances at the man every now and then, to assure himself that he was still there – because this way he didn't have to sit in the overcrowded kitchen, and instead he could just keep Sirius company while the man corrected his godson's work.

It reminded Sirius of when they were still in Hogwarts, only then it had been Remus working in front of the fire, with Sirius sitting in the corner so he could admire the brunette from afar. Sirius had always found it rather endearing to watch him study, though now it was also nice to see how relaxed he was, sometimes glancing up from his plate to grant Sirius a smile. He noticed the man was being very quiet, but wasn't concerned; Remus was a naturally calm person, and Sirius trusted that if something was bothering him, he would share it with him sooner or later.

Sirius was in the middle of Harry's essay when Remus decided to break the silence. His knife clanged against the plate when he cut his meat, chewing contemplatively. When Remus spoke, his voice was secure and stable, his tone indicating he was merely talking about the weather.

He set his knife down and said: "Sirius, I want to have a baby."

Sirius paused midsentence, looking up at the younger man – Remus just resumed eating as if nothing had happened, and it only caused the worry churning at Sirius' gut to increase – he sighed deeply, rubbing the bridge of his nose before taking off his glasses. He folded them neatly, putting them down on the side table, before facing Remus again.

"I know sweetheart," he said, voice filled with compassion, "come sit with me love."

He pushed himself off the floor and settled on the couch instead, waiting for Remus to obey his request. He watched the man set down his cutlery once more, his chair making a soft scraping noise as he pushed it back. His face was completely void of feeling, and it made Sirius hurt more, knowing that the matter troubled Remus so, but that he was unwilling to admit it.

When Remus was close enough for Sirius to touch, Sirius took a scarred hand into his own, and pulled the brunette down into his lap. Remus set his head comfortably against the broad shoulder offered to him, absentmindedly stroking his lover's paler hand with his own, while he waited for Sirius' words of comfort that were sure to come.

"I know you want to have a baby love," Sirius repeated, whispering into his hair, because honestly, Remus had always wanted children, even from before they were married. It was perhaps what Sirius found most attractive about the brunette – he knew fully well that Remus was absolutely terrified to have children, in fear of creating a baby that was half-werewolf – the fact that Remus wanted to try, but only with Sirius, it was so damn flattering, Sirius just could not resist him. The idea of Remus all pregnant and broad hips, carrying their baby, appealed to him as well, and Sirius had never considered himself to be much of a parent-type, but Remus made him want to be. So he kissed the man's temple and muttered: "the Healer said we just need to be patient."

"Honestly Sirius, we lack anything but patience!" Remus replied agitatedly, his cheeks flushing pink as he continued: "maybe I'm just not right for this."

"Baby, no," Sirius used a resolute tone, sounding oddly stern while he hugged the brunette closer into his chest, "There is no way that you're not right for this – you're the most perfect person for this, honestly love, don't say such a thing!"

"Sirius, it's been almost two years now," he sighed deeply, his breath warm against Sirius' neck, "and I can't even give you a stupid baby! Really, it's not as if it's that hard, but no!"

"Remus, love, you have to stop beating yourself up over this," Sirius ordered in that same stern voice, thumb rubbing hopefully soothing spheres on the man's thigh, "These things take time. Now I don't care how much longer it takes because there is no one else I would want this with, and we are not giving up! I promise you, we'll have our baby soon."

Remus seemed unimpressed by the words, and Sirius understood that after this long, they started losing their effect. The idea that Sirius wanted only him did calm the brunette though, and instead of raging on, he slumped into his lover's hard chest, wrapping both arms tightly around him for comfort.

"Now, I think we should just give it another go," Sirius grinned widely at the innocent look Remus gave him, the amber gleaming with golden, "Just so you know how much I do truly only love you Moony," he pressed a chaste kiss to the man's temple, wrapping an arm around the man's legs, "if you'll allow me."

With that, he heaved the man up – Remus giving a little shriek in protest – holding him close to his own body so he wouldn't drop him, and carried him, bridal style, towards the hallway.

"But, Sirius, the essay?" Remus protested feebly, giving a wave in the general direction of Harry's homework, abandoned on the table.

"I can do that after I've done you," the older man purred deviously, his grin turning from mischievous to predatory.

Now, Sirius had always counted himself lucky considering that of all the handsome men in the world, Remus had chosen him. Definitely at times like these, he knew how to count his blessings and Remus was definitely the one most appreciated; what he had done to deserve the brunette, he would never know, but he did know he would never let go. He had heard multiple stories from the other men when they went to see the Healer – Remus fidgety, squeezing his hand to mush and too busy pretending to read a magazine to even notice if the world happened to explode – of how their partners had become absolute nightmares in the sack. How they demanded sex and planned it, would refuse doing it in certain positions that would prove negative to reproduction, or how they refused to give head because that was just a waste.

Stories like that always made Sirius laugh aloud. Sirius never denied his Moony sex, because for Merlin's sake, it was sex. Why would anyone ever not want sex? He loved being with Remus, loved making him purr and moan and frankly, he found it a bit pitiful and weak of the other men, that they'd protest about such a thing. Besides, even now that they were trying to have a baby, it was still mainly Sirius that initiated it, and Remus would always let himself be persuaded. The Healer had of course given them a chart with fluorescent numbers and crossed out dates, indicating which day of the month was best to give it a try, but Sirius never let this limit him. He had a right to make love to his Moony whenever he wanted to, and no chart was going to stop him!

Really, their decision to have a baby didn't change much when it came to their sex-life – every single day at least once and on every surface available, please – besides perhaps when it came to one particular position. Sirius had always liked it best when Remus was riding him – he had the best of views like that, could touch every single piece of lovely skin, and hold the narrow hips in assistance, which only proved to be even better – and even if it wasn't exactly proven that it would be harder to become pregnant that way, most other men seemed to think so. Sirius had had to listen to many lectures of men being told off when trying to convince their lover to ride them, because apparently, that was no way to conceive a baby.

When Sirius had pulled his love on top of him the first time since they had begun trying to have their baby, positioning the man's hips, all Remus had said was: "gravity Pads," and then afterwards, had asked him to go a second time, just to be sure.

So, when those sad little men in the waiting room began their complaints Sirius would just laugh, and pull his lover from his seat. Remus would give him a cute, innocent and confused look, meekly protesting with a: "Siri, we have an appointment in half-an-hour!" while he let himself be dragged to the bathroom.

"I know baby, I just feel like we should give it another quick try," Sirius would reply – seeing all other males giving him the nastiest, most jealous look, he would just chortle – because really, Moony was his, and only his, by which he had the given right to take the man wherever he wanted to.

At a time like this, when he had the man under him, blushing heavily with his breath coming out in shallow pants, it only caused Sirius to love him more. Carrying him all the way up the stairs and into their bedroom was a small price to pay for being allowed to love the man, so honestly, even though Sirius had no idea what he had ever done to deserve such a gift as Remus, he would make good use of it. He was never letting the man go.

"Sweety," Sirius purred against the skin revealed to him, as he pulled off the brunette's sweater over his head, together with his shirt, all in one go. He brought his lips to the scarred chest, moaning softly when he tasted the salty skin against his tongue; Remus was already panting, giving a quiet huff as he settled back down against the pillow, "It's only been since this morning love," Sirius continued against the flushed flesh, reaching the band of Remus' simple black trousers, "can I just...?"

Even after all the time that they had been together, Sirius still did whatever he could to calm his lover during lovemaking. It was only natural for Remus to be a little anxious – no matter how many times they did it, he still remained wary the first round of the evening – considering what changes his body had to go through, every once a month. It wouldn't do to cause his lover more hurt than was absolutely necessary, and Sirius always treated him with the utmost care.

Making love to his Moony was by far better than all those other times when it was just sex.

"It's okay," Remus gave a clear nod, pulling at Sirius' sweatshirt as the raven worked on pulling down the younger man's trousers, "please, you can have me."

Sirius nodded, aiding the brunette in getting his own shirt off, before kissing down Remus' exposed chest. His lips pressed open-mouthed kisses all the way down his lover's sternum and it was just beautiful how he could see Remus' chest heave in anticipation. Sirius felt himself getting more anxious the closer he came to the brunette's underwear, but he willed himself to keep his hormones in check.

He hooked his fingers in the waistband of Remus' boxers as he licked at his stomach, leaving kisses against his scarred flesh. Remus lifted his hips to assist Sirius and soon he had the younger man completely bare before him.

Licking his lips, he straightened himself, leaning back on his knees. Remus' mouth was opened and he was panting hard, his skin wet with transpiration. His lips were reddened from Sirius' kisses, and he looked absolutely delectable.

"Alright baby," Sirius leaned forward and kissed Remus' temple, before reaching for the potion they kept on the nightstand, "first this."

The Healer had told them that if they used the potion once a day, it should help with all their encounters during that day, but Sirius liked being sure, and if there was even the smallest chance that getting Remus to take the potion each time Sirius made love to him would help them get their baby sooner, he would take it.

The taste of the potion was actually quite foul, even though Sirius had exclaimed it must taste like sunshine and daisies. It was the only reason Remus would ever protest – very weakly though – to taking it more than once a day. Sirius took it upon himself to comfort his beloved, sharing the bad taste whenever he could; he would take some in his mouth and feed it to Remus as if to ease him, knowing that to Remus, the knowledge that Sirius was willing to taste something that disgusting for him, was calming.

Sirius filled a cup with the thick, green liquid and then took a mouthful. He repressed a repulsed shiver and settled on top of the brunette, leaning down between the brunette's thighs, gently prying at the red lips with his own. Remus nuzzled back lovingly, before opening his mouth to receive the drink, allowing Sirius' tongue to tease his teeth in the mean time.

Remus moaned softly when Sirius brought the man's knee to rest against his shoulder, marvelling at the flexibility his lover possessed. He purred in anticipation, pushing his clothed groin into Remus' bare arse. The brunette leaned up to give Sirius another quick kiss, one hand curling through the long black hair at the base of his ponytail, the other working on Sirius' jeans.

"Mhm, Remy," Sirius helped the other man, pulling his jeans down passed his hips as Remus eagerly attacked his underwear, tugging it down impatiently.

Sirius licked his lips deviously, giving Remus a coy grin. He nuzzled the man's nose with his own, and parted the scarred thighs further, sliding one eager hand between the pert cheeks. Remus mewled as Sirius' fingers pushed against his sensitive opening, but he did not enter, instead using them to keep the tightness revealed.

Remus' fist guided him and then his slick head found the sweet hot hole and he pressed in, Remus' eagerness easing the entry. Sirius released a deep breath, feeling an immense relief at being with his lover again. He brushed his lips past Remus' temple lovingly – the man's eyes were wide with pleasure, and his hand was clamping onto Sirius' arse, forcing the man deep inside his own body, lips blood red – and then continued to make love to him in earnest.

When he came it was in long thick ropes, his hips snapping until he was buried deep inside, Remus hungrily tensing his muscles around him. Remus' thighs quivering around his hips, the brunette calling out his name and his lips against the sweet flesh below Sirius' ear almost triggered a second orgasm from the raven, Remus' waist convulsing helplessly.

Instead he settled for humming appreciatively when Remus tensed again with his own orgasm, a thick purr falling from the man's lips, as they shook together in unison.

The sheets were drenched with sweat and other fluids, one of Remus' fists entangled in them and the room filled with a heady scent. Sirius cautiously moved off the smaller body, afraid he would crush it with his weight, and leant up on his forearms, pressing a chaste kiss against the reddened lips.

"Was that okay love?" he asked sweetly, his voice hoarse from the exertion, "I went as deep as I could."

Remus let out a sob-like sigh when Sirius pulled back from him, his muscles tensing as he pulled out, and Sirius stroked the auburn hair from the man's face in compassion. The brunette's hand ran a course from his neck to his lower back, causing him to shiver pleasantly under the touch.

"Mhm," Remus' eyes fluttered almost teasingly, and Sirius grinned at the obvious contentment his lover wore, "it feels so nice Siri."

Sirius had to repress a gasp at the tone, kissing the man's temple before moving off him completely. With a smirk, he leaned back to sit on his knees, bringing one of the scarred legs with him, pressing it to his own chest so he could caress the thigh and kiss the knee.

He pulled his hair-tie from his dampened locks, and ran a hand through them, feeling his own arousal awaken at the sight his lover made. Remus was arching his back at the teasing of his thigh, and his legs were spread almost obscenely, one in Sirius' arms, the other propped up to offer Sirius one of the most delectable views he had ever gotten.

"Would you like to go again baby?" Sirius asked, voice but a purr, his own desire clouding his mind.

Remus smiled weakly, folding his hands behind his head. He seemed to consider the question. Then, in a sombre voice which indicated that there was more meaning behind his words, he said: "I'm so tired."

Sirius patted his leg compassionately, the hidden innuendo thick, though he pretended not to notice, knowing that he would have to lure the true meaning out if he wanted to understand his lover completely. He kissed against his knee, and ran a hand down the scarred chest, Remus' own length hard and glistening.

"That's okay sweetheart," Sirius voice was laced with tenderness, another hand running down the bare side of the werewolf's exposed body, "we can always try again in the morning."

"No," Remus protested, though his voice was still sombre, "I'm just... I'm so tired of trying Sirius," he turned his head so the raven wouldn't notice tears brimming in his eyes, but Sirius knew all the same, "I don't want to try again, I just want... can you just make love to me now? Don't try, just... make love to me."

Sirius forced Remus to look at him, pressing kisses against his cheeks to erase the tears. Then, as gentle as he could, he did as had been requested, and they made hotheadyohmerlin love.

Afterwards they lay next to each other on the bed, Sirius' fingers curling through the auburn locks, his lips against Remus' temple. He allowed them to regain their breaths before moving – although he really didn't want to, his lover's body far to welcoming and warm – towards the end of the bed.

They kept spare pillows there, for after love-making, and he propped them up under Remus' legs, forcing them up. It was easier this way for Remus to keep them up for fifteen minutes, since otherwise they would become tense. He made sure his legs were comfortable, stroking the soft belly as if to stimulate it into reproduction. Remus flattered himself into the mattress, nuzzling into Sirius' hand when he came up to cup his face.

"I'm going to get you a cup of tea," Sirius said, determined to take good care of the man, "You just stay here, and keep your legs up."

"Siri..." Remus made a small whimpering noise in protest, pouting cutely, "kiss me?"

"Of course love," Sirius curled his fingers in the man's hair and lent down to give him a kiss, their lips parting and tongues meeting.

When they separated, Remus was blushing a light pink, Sirius smirking. He kissed the man's stomach, silently wishing to whatever deity he could think of to hurry up and grant them their wish. They had wanted this for so long; even Sirius had to admit he was getting a little impatient.

He got up and pulled on his boxers, which had been discarded on the floor earlier. Then he pulled his sweater on, ignoring the sweat and fluids their encounters had left. Before he left he went back to the bed for another sinful kiss, the taste lingering when he went down the stairs.

Sirius took his time boiling water, and gathering some little snacks to surprise Remus with. He knew that the coming fifteen minutes Remus would not want to move either way, and the man was usually very tentative during that little window of time where everything could break down or succeed.

He took cinnamon cookies from the pantry for himself, and then took the remainder of the chocolate cake they had for dessert from the fridge. He was busy cutting a large piece when the front door opened and he heard Harry and Ron talking.

Almost right after the door closed again, four teens entered the kitchen, curious to see who could possibly be in there after twelve. Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny had gone to a muggle theatre close-by, and to be honest, Sirius had not expected them to be home so early. When Sirius was a teenager, he stayed out until morning, but all in all, he was happy they hadn't followed his example.

They greeted him enthusiastically, even though a little surprised, and sat down at the table. Since the water had not heated properly yet, Sirius joined them with a smile, taking the cake so he could continue cutting it at the table.

"Had a midnight craving?" Harry teased, dipping his finger in the whipped cream on top.

"It's for Remus," Sirius explained, fitting the piece on a plate, "I want him to be at ease."

"He's still up as well?" Ron questioned with a frown, and suddenly Harry grinned.

"I see," he chuckled, giving Sirius' arm a poke, "decided to enjoy your free time while we were gone?"

He looked almost exactly like James did when he gave that knowing smirk, and Sirius could only roll his eyes. They had not informed anyone about their wish for children, and Sirius had to admit that it was becoming a bit hard for him to hide. The longer it took them to become pregnant, the stronger the urge became to tell someone. He wanted to share his grieves, unwilling to tell Remus since the man had enough to worry about without having to share Sirius' stress.

Deciding he needed to stop pretending, he sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"We've been trying to have a baby," he blurted, not noticing the teenagers' stunned look while he pieced off a part of the cake for himself, "Remus has been very stressed and I want to take the edge off a bit. Chocolate's always worked before."

Harry was the first to talk, and Sirius was relieved to see him grinning broadly.

"You're going to be a dad?" he said excitedly, "That's amazing!"

"Not yet," Sirius shook his head, "I'm trying to be a dad. With the way it's going, I'm failing."

"How long have you been trying?" Hermione spoke up, trying to remember what she had read in her text book about male-pregnancy.

"Almost two years now," Sirius gave a small smile, leaning back in the chair, "the Healer says we need to be patient. But it's not that we're impatient, just that, well, our hopes are running thin."

"It's normal for it to take so long Sirius," Hermione reasoned, "it's takes years in a lot of cases, I read so in a health book."

Sirius smiled at her determination to put him at ease with facts. But, statistics had stopped cheering him up weeks ago.

"It's just not fair that some people get this without even wanting it," Sirius growled, "while we have to try so hard and be let down each time."

He remembered a couple that had been at the Healer's office the last time they went in. It had been an accident, the man said, they had had no idea men could just get pregnant like that, and had gone bare-back without thinking about the consequences.

They had gotten it removed.

Remus had pretended it didn't affect him, but Sirius had spent the entire night trying his best to get the brunette to give him a smile. He had never been so angry in his life before, and the minute Remus had excused himself to use the bathroom, he had told the couple just that. The other men in the waiting room had agreed wholeheartedly, and the couple had been forced to shut up until the Healer called them in.

Sirius had no problem with people that had no wish for children. He wasn't pro abortion, by any means, but he wouldn't judge people who had gone through it, ever. But talking about it so easily in a room full of people trying to get pregnant and failing over and over again was just brutal.

"I'm sure you'll get there soon," Harry said with a powerful nod, "you guys will be great parents!"

"Yes, you deserve a baby," Ginny agreed, smiling as well.

Sirius flashed a half-smile, running a hand once more through his hair.

"I hope so," he added, "I want to give this to Remus so badly. Hell, I never saw myself as a father type, but I want to be now," he released a deep breath, "Remus makes me want to try."

They were all smiling at him so uprightly; Sirius knew he had done good by telling them. He was just about to thank them for their kind words when Remus entered the kitchen. He was wearing one of Sirius' white shirts, but it was far too big for his tender frame, reaching halfway his thighs and falling down his shoulders a bit.

"Remus," Sirius stood immediately, rushing over to the man, "you're supposed to be in bed sweety."

"It's been half an hour already Sirius," Remus said with a small smile, rolling his eyes at the concern in the man's words, "I came to see what was keeping you so long."

He greeted the teenagers with a grin and pretended they were still just two people in love, instead of two people in love and trying to have a baby. Sirius guided him to his earlier seat and sat himself down, before pulling Remus onto his lap.

"I told them," Sirius kissed the brunette's forehead and Remus' eyes widened, fixing on the teenagers, "They're very excited," they nodded enthusiastically, and Remus looked back at Sirius. When the man turned out to be smiling, Remus couldn't help but smile along, "You look tired baby," he stroked the hair from the man's face, pushing it gently against his own chest, "rest a little, I'll take you to bed soon."

Remus nodded and let his lover's wide chest cushion him, closing his eyes tiredly. Sirius stayed to talk to the teenagers a little longer, before they left to go up to bed. Then he picked up the near-sleeping man in his lap and carried him towards the stairs, being careful not to spill the cake and tea on their way up.

When he lay Remus down on the bed, the man stirred, showing off his pale thighs as he turned onto his side. He blinked drowsily, and looked up at Sirius with a sleepy smile.

"Thank you Sirius," he muttered silently, his eyes drooping back shut.

"What for baby?" Sirius set down the plate and tea on the bedside table, smiling despite his curiosity.

"For making love to me," Remus gave a yawn and flattered into his pillow cutely, not knowing that Sirius was still watching him.

The older man crawled into bed and cuddled into the brunette's back – Remus pushed himself into his hard chest on instinct, sighing contently – pressing a kiss to his neck.

"Thank you for letting me baby," he whispered and nuzzled into his neck, falling asleep not seconds later.

Two weeks later Sirius woke up to the sound of unceremonious splattering coming from the bathroom. He noticed his arms were disturbingly empty and sat up straight. As soon as he heard a cough, he put two and two together and made a quick run for the adjacent bathroom.

Remus was bent over the toilet seat – his pale arse showing from under his dress-shirt – back shaking and trembling. The brunette fell down listlessly next to the seat, onto the carpet, his fingers tight around the white marble to keep some sort of stability. He was just a sad lump of flesh and he looked absolutely miserable, his face white as chalk.

"I'm pregnant," he muttered when he noticed Sirius in the doorway, the words not making their way through his own thick skull.

When a broad smile formed itself on Sirius' face, Remus was confused. Then, realisation downed on him and he allowed Sirius to scoop him up off the floor, a weird feeling settling in his stomach that had nothing to do with his upset bowels or butterflies, but was instead a sense of certainty.

He wasn't frightened or nervous, because he knew, with not a single trace of doubt, that he was pregnant. That, Remus supposed, might have been the only scary part, but with Sirius lips against his temple and the man's hands on his body, he knew that it was right.

AN: my teacher wanted to get a baby for a very long time (she has two children now) and she told us about it every now and then, because we could obviously tell something was off, since she got a bit depressed the longer they tried and failed. She told us one day – after she and her husband had been trying for almost half a year already – that her sister got pregnant and got an abortion. I don't support abortion, but I respect the people that have it, though I have to say I understood my teacher's pain just as well.