This is the second installment of my story Forbidden Love. It is based on the Ser Gilmore NPC Mod. Though I will not be 100% faithful to the mod, those of you who have not yet played with it and don't want spoilers should avoid reading this story, just in case.

Sorry for the delay. It took 3 versions before I came up with something interesting for the first chapter. I hope it will be worth the wait :) Thank you for reading! :D

- A part of Alistair's dialog comes from the game.

As they made their way to Ostagar Elissa kept having flashes from that night at the castle. She recalled the smell of blood paving the floor, the clash of swords echoing in the halls, men agonizing and servants screaming in terror. She closed her eyes and saw her parents gently smiling at her in the larder as they said their goodbyes. She felt the tears threatening to flow and she breathed deeply. She had to be strong, for everyone who gave their life for her.

Ostagar had not been what she expected. More treachery awaited them as Teyrn Loghain betrayed the king and left him to die at the hand of the darkspawn. Not only was the king dead but the Grey Wardens as well. She was now the only survivor with Alistair, another Warden. She looked at him through the flames; he was lost in his thoughts. She rose, her Mabari looking quizzically at her as she sat beside her new friend.

"You look like someone who needs to talk." Elissa said softly, startling him.

"You don't have to do this, you know."

"Everyone needs a friend in moments like this. I may not have known Duncan for a long time but I have known him long enough to know he was a good man and he didn't deserve to die like that."

"I should have handled it better... He warned me something like this could happen. Any of us could die in battle. I shouldn't have lost it, not when so much is riding on us, not with the Blight and everything... I am sorry..." his voice trailed off, his eyes filling with tears.

"You don't have to apologize. Dealing with death is difficult and I understand he meant a lot to you."

"I'd like to have a proper funeral for him. Maybe once this is all done, if we're still alive. I don't think he had any family to speak of."

"He had you."

"I suppose he did. I know this is stupid but part of me wishes I was with him in the battle. I feel like I abandoned him."

"It is not stupid to think that. But he saved your life by sending you away."

"Yes, I know. I think he came from Highever, or so he said. Maybe I'll go up out there sometime, see about putting up something in his honor."

"I could go with you, if you want. He saved my life, I owe him."

"That would be nice." Alistair brushed away his unshed tears, his eyes lingering on the fire. "Thank you for listening to me, it was good to talk about it." She felt his eyes on her, studying her. "The way you talk makes me wonder... have you had someone close to you die?"

"Arl Howe betrayed my family. Everyone at the castle must be dead by now... I survived only because Duncan saved me." She fought the overwhelming pain as she saw Roland in her mind, smiling lovingly at her in the gardens.

"Oh, of course. How stupid of me to forget... Here I am going on and on about Duncan and you ... I am so sorry. If you want to talk, I am here." He smiled sadly at her.

Elissa stared at the dancing flames for a moment, unsure how to express her pain to him. "For so long I have been angry at them, I accused them of ruining my entire life. I made sure they knew how much I despised them but now ... now I only wish they were still alive so I could tell them how much I love them and how sorry I am for what I have said." Her voice trailed off as she let the burning tears fall on her cheeks.

"Why were you angry at them?"

"I fell in love with my best friend, a knight. My parents disapproved, saying I had to marry a noble man but I couldn't. I wanted to be with him and with no one else. I asked him to leave with me so we could be together but he refused. I know now he did it to protect me but I was so angry at him at the time. We stopped talking after that and I blamed my parents for everything. Now they're all dead; everyone that meant something to me is dead ..."

She felt Alistair's arm around her, pressing her against him. She buried her face in his shoulder and let the pain consume her as she cried. She heard her Mabari whine softly beside her before resting his head in her lap.

"If only I could have told them I never really hated them..."

"I'm sure they knew you never meant everything you said." He pressed his cheek on her head and tightened his embrace.

"But what if I could have saved them? If only I had done what they asked of me they would still be alive." She kept wondering what would have happened if she had married Thomas, or at least if they had announce their betrothal. Maybe this would have saved her family and everyone else at the castle.

Alistair put two fingers under her chin and made her look at him. "You don't know that, no one knows what could have been if things had been different. It does you no good to torture yourself like that."

"I guess you're right. And thank you." She rested her head on his shoulder again and closed her eyes, her fingers gently stroking her dog's head. She might have lost her family but she had gained a friend and she was grateful for that.

Ooooooo

Elissa felt the sunlight burn through her eyelids and she opened her eyes slowly. The first thing she saw was the remain of the previous night's fire. Her eyes wandered around the camp and she spotted Alistair cleaning his sword. When he saw she was awake he smiled gently.

"We should have left a couple hours ago but I didn't have the heart to wake you up. Are you feeling better?"

"Yes, thank you."

"Morrigan says we should reach Lothering soon. As soon as you are ready we'll be leaving."

Elissa nodded and prepared her things.

As soon as they entered Lothering she noticed that everyone was scared of the upcoming Blight. She could feel their fear in the air, the feeling was overwhelming. There were refugees everywhere along with bandits trying to benefit from the confusion.

As they made their way inside the village she couldn't help despair growing inside her. How were they supposed to end the Blight when they didn't even know what they were supposed to do? Somehow she knew these people depended on them and it scared her. What if she failed them just like she had fail her family? She shook her head, trying to get rid of her thoughts. Alistair was right; it would do her no good to torture herself with what ifs. The past happened and she couldn't change it but she could control her future. She was a Grey Warden now and she had to act like one even if she felt as lost as everyone else around.

Behind her she could hear Alistair and Morrigan argue but she paid no attention as her gaze was caught by a man talking to someone in the distance. Her heart skipped a beat; she would recognize that silhouette anywhere.

"Roland..." she whispered. She felt Alistair's eyes on her, looking at her questioningly.

She heard him say something but couldn't make out the words as she made her way toward the man, half running. She put her hand on his arm, her heart beating wildly in her chest, half expecting him to be a mere illusion. The man turned around at the contact, surprised. Elissa's eyes met his; his green eyes were glistening in the afternoon sun just as she remembered, a strand of red hair falling in his eye. She felt tears in her eyes as she looked at the man she loved, relieved to know he had survive.

"My lady, you're alive!" Roland said, a smile spreading on his face. She smiled sadly at the use of her title and not her name. She heard the others behind her, her Mabari barking happily.

"I am relieved to see you are alive as well, ser Gilmore." she replied, trying to hide her hurt feelings. Roland's eyes fixed the ground at his feet for a moment before fixing their attention on the others as she made the presentation.

"I would like to help you defeating the Blight. I swore to protect you and this is my chance to honor your father's will. I would like to fight at your side to end this Blight."

"We will need all the help we can get. If this is what you truly wish you are welcome to come with us."

"Thank you." Roland smiled at her and she had to control herself not to embrace him. She heard Morrigan complain behind but she paid no attention.

"We should look around for supplies and news." Elissa said before heading to the local tavern.