Summary: Prussia loves conquering of any sort. Sometimes that meant playing with plastic figurines and sometimes that meant playing with Canada. "Gilbert," Canada sighed, "what have I told you about total world domination?" One shot.
Hetalia does not belong to me. Neither do any of the countries mentioned. Get back to me after 'World Domination Phase 3' is complete. It actually might look something like the following.
Plastic Minions
Prussia surveyed his legion of minions over steepled fingers, grinning manically. Everything was in place; everything was perfect. Nothing could possibly go wrong.
"Fly, my pretties!" He cackled harshly under his breath, raising his hands over the table like a puppet master.
"Gil…? What are you doing?"
Prussia started and turned sharply to glare at the intruder. Canada stared steadily back, leaning against the doorframe as if he owned the place.
Which he kind of did, with it being his house and all.
Canada shifted his eyes from Prussia to the table and raised an eyebrow.
"What's with the Transformers?"
"Not only Transformers," Prussia scoffed, twisting back towards the battlefield and pointing to another group of figurines. "I also have zombies, ninjas, and Abraham Lincoln at my disposal. Also – "
He wiggled his fingers over his masterpiece in pride as Canada took a step closer to the table to survey the odd conglomeration.
"… Is that a Care Bear?"
"… Maybe…"
"Gilbert," Canada sighed, tucking his hair behind his ear as he leaned on the other nation in exasperation. "What have I told you about total world domination?"
"That it is a noble cause and should I achieve it, you will shower me with personal favours?"
"Nice try."
"It was, wasn't it?" Prussia smirked and turned in his seat to place a chaste kiss on Canada's lips. Canada smiled softly at him before standing up straight and pressing his hands to his hips.
"But I believe my exact words were that it is 'warped', 'perverse', and 'amoral'."
"Ah," said Prussia, pouting. "Yes, I do seem to recall you saying that at some point but I chose to ignore you. Obviously."
"Bad choice, that," hummed Canada, reaching down to swat playfully at the other nation.
"How about this? I will give you the title of second-in-command and control over my Barbie division, and in exchange, you refrain from killing me."
Canada looked as if he was mulling over the proposal in his head. He glanced at the ceiling, crossed his arms over his chest and calculated inaudibly under his breath. He stopped for a moment to survey the battlefield and count on his fingers before dealing with the expectant, fidgeting man.
"Counter offer," Canada began. "I want control of the north and east troops. I believe that would give me… The zombies, the barrel of monkeys, and the Goldfish Crackers. You may keep your Barbies, good sir. I also demand that you address me as 'Almighty Destroyer of Souls'. Sound good?"
"Alright, you drive a hard bargain but I accept your terms. As the Almighty Destroyer of Souls, you are entitled to a thirty percent share of the plunder."
"Aha! Check again! It clearly states in my contract of employment," at this, Canada pushed forward an empty bubblegum wrapper, "that I am entitled to a fifty/fifty even share!"
Prussia picked up the slip of paper, examining it with mock concentration before slamming the wrapper back down with a snort.
"Read the fine print, my friend. You are only welcome to fifty percent during the third week of every other month!"
Canada gaped at Prussia before an indignant sneer spread slowly across his features. They both knew that they were being ridiculous but neither really cared. This was part of the fun.
"But I like your spunk, kid," Prussia continued. "I will give you a thirty five percent share instead."
"Forty five percent," Canada challenged.
"Forty percent!"
"Deal!"
The two shook hands to seal the deal and Canada pulled a chair up to the table, moving his troops around the makeshift battlefield accordingly. They spent the better part of the afternoon discussing strategies, conquering other countries, and eating the Goldfish Cracker component of Canada's army.
The sun was setting as they were winding down, figures strewn across the tabletop. Prussia rested his head in his palm and leaned against the table; watching Canada fling zombies around the room with an elastic band, moaning 'braaains' as he did so.
"You know," whispered Prussia, "I cannot think of anyone else I would rather do this with."
"You mean," Canada said, leaning in to whisper back co-conspiratorially, "that no one else would put up with you."
"Well, that too," agreed Prussia as he placed his hand on the back of Canada's neck and touched their noses together. "But mostly, Birdie, I mean that you are the only one I want to waste my Saturday afternoons with. You are the only one I want on my side when I take over the world."
Prussia pushed their lips together and Canada crawled into his lap to deepen the kiss, bowing over the nation. Canada tenderly placed his hands on either side of Prussia's face, before weaving his fingers into the silver hair and sliding his tongue through the other man's parted lips. Prussia ran his fingernails up under Canada's shirt and dragged them delicately over his spine.
Finally, Canada broke away panting; his glasses fogged. Prussia grinned up at him and laid a dusting of soft kisses over his collarbone.
"Say, if I am your favourite way to waste a Saturday afternoon," asked Canada hoarsely, pushing Prussia away mischievously, "what is your favourite way to spend the evening?"
Prussia sniggered and placed another kiss on his chest. He then knocked his minions from the table and pushed Canada up on top of it, bending over him with a feral grin.
"Domination of a different sort," he leered. Canada batted his eyelashes up at the other man before smirking and promptly flipping Prussia over; pressing his knee suggestively against Prussia's groin. His hair fell around his face as he pinned Prussia's hands above his head.
"Aha! Check Again!" He murmured as he bent down to kiss the other nation over and over again.
Author's Notes:
And yes, that is where I am going to stop it… I hope that everyone was able to follow the story all right. I'm not sure if other people have such an odd collection of action figures, but I certainly do. Every once in a while, it is imperative that I take them out and re-enact my plans of total world domination. Just to be sure that there are no kinks in the project, you know? After all, everyone keeps telling me how important 'planning' is. I might as well take their advice, and have some fun while I am at it!
I hope the story did not disappoint and that you enjoyed a more intimate look at how these characters might interact on a day-to-day basis if they were in a relationship. Give me a heads up if anything did not suit your taste.
If you are still reading then please leave a review and feel free to offer opinions, advice, or criticism. All are welcome.