Every Second

Luke grieves.

He grieves in the tears that he can't stop spilling over. He grieves in the nights he tosses and turns until he falls into dreams that transform into nightmares. In the mornings, he grieves in the way he jerks awake and grabs at the pillow for comfort. Sometimes, he wants to drown the overwhelming grief in a shot of alcohol, but he never does. He grieves, but he doesn't fall over the edge.

Luke copes.

Slowly, painfully slowly, Luke learns how to cope. He spends time with his sisters, playing dress up with Natalie and talking to Faith about boys. He copes by playing with Ethan for hours, pirates and cowboys, just like he and Casey used to do when they were boys. He learns to cook, and spends hours in the kitchen until he is almost as good as Emma. Grimaldi shipping's profits soar as he throws himself into work, and the Foundation benefits from his newfound energy as well. Luke doesn't stop grieving, but he learns to cope.

Luke smiles.

When Reid died, Luke felt like he would never smile again. But soon, he finds his lips tugging upwards at little things. A flower, a butterfly landing on Ethan's nose, when the rain comes and splashes on the puddles. He smiles at his Dad's jokes, and he learns to smile in thanks again. When he sees Casey and Allison kissing in Olde Town, he doesn't smile. He grins, because Casey has finally settled down, and with a girl he knows is perfect for him. He smiles, and after a while, he even laughs.

Luke loves.

Luke's always been a shameless romantic, he knows that. He cries at the romantic comedies that Faith makes him watch with her. He believes in the powerful love of literature, where two hearts are only separated when they both leave this world. But two years after Reid's death, Luke begins to fall in love again. His name is Alex, and he's utterly unlike Reid. Alex is funny, nice, bright… clever, but not a genius neurosurgeon. Luke's parents like him, as does Noah, and Luke begins to wonder if maybe, maybe this is alright. So Luke doesn't hold back with Alex. They go to the cinema, have meals out. They have sex, and Luke doesn't close his eyes and think of Reid. He keeps them open, and revels in the handsome young man above him. Because he's loved Noah, he's loved Reid… and now he loves Alex.

Luke lives.

As Luke lies dying, he doesn't have any regrets. Because he's travelled the world, learnt a new language, been in love three times and written five different novels. He's had sex on a beach, and in a barn. He's seen foreign animals, and done volunteer work in a third world country. He's laughed until his whole body aches, and cried in the same way. Luke has no regrets, and as he lies dying, his thoughts are not of Noah Mayer, or Reid Oliver, or even Alex Keen. His thoughts are of how beautiful the world is, and how much he has loved every second of his time on it.