ADDICTED TO THE LIFEGUARD

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach...

So! Here we have another oneshot that just attacked my mind with animalistic vigor. LoL. Anyways, I hope you all enjoy. This is for my awesome sidekick, Sonbon, my kick-ass beta (who now has a story of his own that you should totally read and give constructive feedback on). You keep me motivated and encouraged, so thanks. :'D

Warning: There will be some Rangiku "bashing". I don't have anything against her character, I actually really like Rangy-chan, I just needed her for this role. Sorry if it offends anyone.

Onwards...

XOXOXOXO

"Alright, line up right here!" Ichigo shouted over the symphony of giggling and loud talking.

"Move! I was here first!"

"Was not!"

"Was too!"

"Oi, oi! Enough a'that! It doesn't matter who was here first, just line the hell up already! Jesus Christ!"

"Ooooo, Ichigo-saaaan, you said a bad worrrrrrd!"

"Just line up!"

Ichigo facepalmed in utter frustration. He was going to kill Toshiro for suggesting this fucking job! It was only his third week there, and Ichigo was already itching to tear out his hair, and murder him some kids.

"Aww, Ichi-chan, it's not that bad," Yumi crooned from behind him. Ichigo whirled around, his eyes wide.

"Yumi! Don't call me that shit in front of the kids!" he yelped.

"Oooooooooooo! Ichigo-saaaaann! That's an-"

"I know that, ok? Shutup!"

Ichigo massaged his temples with his fingertips, oh so close to a mental breakdown, while Yumi, his Senior Counselor, giggled in the background. Ichigo didn't hate kids, hell, he had two kid sisters, but...these weren't kids. They were fucking monsters.

Seireitei Summer Day Camp, better known as Camp Seireitei, was a privately owned establishment, by a man named Sosuke Aizen, and run by Toshiro Hitsugaya. Toshiro was Ichigo's friend from college, and when Ichigo had expressed his desire for a summer job, he'd offered him a position at the day camp. Ichigo was grateful, of course, and at first hadn't thought it would be all that hard...until he met his group.

Let him explain. Camp Seireitei organized the children into groups, by their age. There were eight groups, and for each age group, there were Senior and Junior Counselors. Better yet, he'd just show you the chart he'd been given at orientation.

Seireitei Summer Day Camp

2010 Line-up

"Must Have Spirit"

Group 1

Ages: 5-6 years

Junior Counselor: Orihime Inoue

Senior Counselor: Rangiku Matsumoto

Group 2

Age: 7 years

Junior Counselor: Rukia Kuchiki

Senior Counselor: Shuuhei Hisagi

Group 3

Age: 8 years

Junior Counselor: Luppi

Senior Counselor: Ulquiorra Schiffer

Group 4

Age: 9 years

Junior Counselor: Nnoitra Jiruga

Senior Counselor: Neliel Tu Odershvank

Group 5

Age: 10 years

Junior Counselor: Ichigo Kurosaki

Senior Counselor: Ayasegawa Yumichika

Group 6

Age: 11 years

Junior Counselor: Renji Abarai

Senior Counselor: Byakuya Kuchiki

Group 7

Age: 12

Junior Counselor: Tatsuki Arisawa

Senior Counselor: Shinji Hirako

Group 8

Age: 13 years

Junior Counselor: Uryuu Ishida

Senior Counselor: Kenpachi Zaraki

Camp Director: Toshiro Hitsugaya

Assistant Camp Director: Gin Ichimaru

Camp Nurse: Szayel Aporro Grantz

Camp Chefs: Stark Coyote/Ikkaku Madarame

Pool Supervisor/Lifeguard: Sado Yasutora

Let's make it a great summer!

Hopefully, that gave a good idea of what Ichigo had to deal with. The people were great, but the kids...like he said, the fuckers were monsters in human form.

They were gathered in a large gymnasium, where all the children, counselors, and other employees met before heading to the campsite. Ichigo hated the hour long drive on a yellow school bus, filled with talkative, screaming kids. No, correction...he loathed it. They gave him a headache before they could even make it to their destination.

At the moment, Ichigo was trying to line the kids up, and get them ready to load one of the buses. He sighed in frustration. That wasn't easily done. Finally, he snapped at the bickering children standing before him.

"LOOK! IF YOU DON'T LINE UP, I'M TAKIN' AWAY YOUR SWIMMING PRIVILEGES FOR THE DAY!" he yelled, unintentionally silencing the entire gymnasium.

A few seconds passed, before several of the counselors began laughing, making Ichigo blush. He hadn't meant to shut everyone up, but it certainly got the job done with his group. For the kids, swimming was god. If they had their swimming privileges revoked, it was like the equivalency of hell, and they would cry - or sulk, depending on the age - as if the world was certainly at its end. So, you could see why every last camper shut the fuck up.

"Good job, Ichi-chan!" Yumi cried, standing beside him, wearing a huge smile, and those strange feathers he always wore by his right eye.

"It was an accident," he mumbled.

"A beautiful one."

Suddenly, one of Ichigo's best friends approached him, piano-toothed grin spread across his features. Ichigo didn't like the look on Shinji's face, and it made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.

"Iiiiiichiiiiii," he sang. Oh, no.

"What, Shin?"

"So, when're ya gonna let me hook ya up with one of Stark's friends? There's one that keeps askin' 'bout ya."

Ichigo massaged his forehead. Here came that daily headache. Shinji's boyfriend, Stark, who was also one of the camp's chefs, had a friend that was interested in Ichigo, but he had never met the man. He'd only heard about him, and frankly, from what he'd heard, he didn't think he would be interested.

For one, the man sounded huge, and although Ichigo wasn't petite by any means, he was far from being as big as Stark's friend. Besides, he wasn't really crazy about being in a Mutt and Jeff kind of relationship.

"Shin, how many times do I have to tell you 'no'?" Ichigo deadpanned.

"Aww, c'mon Ichi, Yammy's not a bad guy!"

"I can find someone on my own, thanks, Queen of Nosiness."

Shinji crossed his arms, and pouted like a five-year old, while Ichigo just watched in amusement. At that moment, Rangiku abandoned her group, and rushed over to him and Shinji.

"Oh my god, Toshiro's hired a new lifeguard!" she exclaimed excitedly.

"Well, he couldn't exactly wait for Chad's leg to heal!" Shinji snapped, voice dripping disdain.

For some strange reason, Shinji really didn't get along with Rangiku, arguing with her whenever they were within shouting distance. Ichigo thought it was pretty damned funny.

"Shut it, you skinny little fairy. I was talking to Ichigo," she drawled, dismissing Shinji with a flick of her wrist. Ichigo had to stifle a chuckle at the indignant glare radiating from the slim blond.

"I'll talk to you later, Ichi. I've got no desire to hang around someone who sucks dick like it's an occupation," Shinji smirked, as he sauntered away, leaving Ichigo in stitches.

"Why the hell do you two hate each other so much?" he queried, through breathless chuckles.

"Tch, he claims I stole Gin from him in high school," Rangiku shrugged nonchalantly. "It's not my fault Ichimaru couldn't resist my feminine charm."

Yumi snorted, as he sidled up beside Ichigo, looking Rangiku up and down, with no small amount of distaste. After flipping a hand through his short, bobbed hairstyle, he let out a tired sigh.

"You really have no shame, do you, Matsumoto? Now, let me guess...you've seen the new lifeguard, and he's your next target?" he deadpanned. "It must be a "he" to have you so excited."

"Actually, I haven't seen him yet. Toshiro says he's already at the campsite preparing the pools for the day. Not that it's any of your business, Yumi-chick," Rangiku stated, before ambling back to her group. Ichigo shook his head.

"No one likes her, huh?" he asked, making Yumi roll his eyes.

"It's not that no one likes her, because she's a pretty decent person, but...she's also a harlot."

Ichigo choked on a snort, as he laughed until tears were streaming from his eyes, and his sides ached. Yumi was so fucking retarded.

"Harlot? Yumi, who even says that anymore?"

Yumi only smiled, and shrugged his delicate-looking shoulders, as he adjusted the straps to his large beach bag. Ichigo thought it looked like a chick bag, but, hey, to each his own, right?

Suddenly, a loud whistle pierced the almost deafening noise of the campers, silencing them, as all eyes landed on the short, white-haired man standing in the center of the gymnasium. Toshiro lowered the whistle wrapped around his neck once he realized he had everyone's attention.

"You will board each assigned bus in peace, without shrieking like a gaggle of banshees. Also, I have good news for you all. We have a new lifeguard, so that means Gin-san will no longer need to fill the position."

An ear-splitting cheer was raised by the campers, causing Ichigo to chuckle. He didn't blame them one bit. The campers were deathly afraid of Ichimaru, because even though he wore an eye-closing grin, at all times, it never necessarily meant that the silver-haired man was pleased.

"Nah, nah, thas' kinda harsh, ne?" Gin commented from Toshiro's side.

"That does not give you license to run all over the new lifeguard, although, I don't think he'll let you. At any rate, you'll be meeting him today, and I expect you all to be on your best behavior. That includes the counselors," Toshiro stated firmly, glaring at Rangiku, who just smiled innocently back at him. "Alright, let's go!"

Ichigo watched as Toshiro headed for the exit, closely followed by Gin. So, Rangiku had been right about the lifeguard, at least. Poor Chad wouldn't be back before the program ended, due to a broken leg. He'd been in a car accident the week prior, and Gin had had to fill in for the gentle giant, while they found a replacement.

Ichigo wondered what the new guy was like. He must be good though, because Toshiro only hired the best when it came to those kinds of positions. For example, the camp food was probably better than some restaurants, thanks to the culinary genius of Stark and Ikkaku, and there was absolutely no medical emergency that Szayel couldn't fix.

The camp counselors were a different story, altogether, though. Ichigo often wondered if Toshiro had been high off his ass when he hired several of them. Some of the counselors were worse than the children they were supposed to be supervising, and Ichigo had heard a disturbing rumor about Rangiku being denied her request to be Senior Counselor of Group 8, the thirteen year olds, because she couldn't be trusted around the hormonal teenaged boys.

Ichigo herded his group onto their assigned bus, and once they were settled in their seats, he commandeered a two-seater, hunkering down for the excruciating trip.

Tatsuki Arisawa, Group 7's Junior Counselor, was seated across from him, her backpack on her lap. She was frowning, and fidgeting restlessly, when she suddenly spoke.

"Ichigo...do you think I'm butch?" she asked, brow creased in a scowl, and Ichigo just knew his eyebrows had disappeared into his hairline.

"What the hell, Tatsuki? Where the fuck did that come from?"

"OOOOOOOO! Ichigo-san, that's-"

"Jinta! I know! Why are you in my conversation anyway?" Ichigo snapped irritably. Jinta Hanakari, a camper in Ichigo's group, made it his personal business to drive him mad at every possible opportunity.

"I'm gonna tell Hitsugaya-san," the little red-haired boy threatened, as he watched Ichigo over the back of his seat.

"What do you want?"

"Lemme borrow your iPod!"

"If you break it, I'll break your ass," Ichigo whispered furiously. Jinta just nodded, wide grin spread across his face.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, just hand it over."

"I mean it, Jinta." But Ichigo was currently being ignored in favor of his iPod. Turning back to Tatsuki, who was still frowning, he shrugged his shoulders.

What the fuck should he say? Tatsuki was a tomboy, but, should he tell her that? Ichigo glanced at her stormy countenance, and thought otherwise. Maybe he could butter it up a bit...

"I don't think you're necessarily 'butch'; you just don't do 'girly'," he said hesitantly. Ah, Christ, that hadn't come out right at all. Luckily, Tatsuki's cell phone began ringing.

I like girls, they like me

They look so good in they Seven jeans

Said you could be the one, and my only

I wanna be faithful, but I can't keep my hands out the cookie jar

Ichigo chuckled at the ringtone. It was no secret that Tatsuki was gay, but if anyone didn't know that, after hearing her ringtone, it would be totally obvious.

"Arisawa, turn it off!" Toshiro called from the front of the bus. He always made his rounds to each bus, checking to see that everyone was settled in appropriately.

Tatsuki powered off the device, and tucked it into her backpack. Ichigo sincerely hoped she had forgotten their little conversation, because he certainly wasn't looking forward to continuing it.

XOXOXOXO

Grimmjow rubbed the tip of his nose, simultaneously wrinkling it. He fucking hated the smell of dust, and this place had it in abundance. Christ, whoever the hell had been in charge of the pool area, before him, had been a lazy piece of shit.

The small cabin that housed the changing rooms and opened up to the two, outdoor, rectangular pools, was musty, and filled with cobwebs. That was another thing. He fucking hated spiders, and here he had gone and accepted a job in the middle of the fucking woods, the eight-legged bastards absolutely everywhere. A small shudder traveled down his spine from just thinking about the disgusting insects.

He grabbed a broom, and began the tedious task of sweeping dirt, dust and the like from the cabin, before doing the same with the showers and changing rooms. By the time he was done, his nose was red and itchy from sneezing, and he was slowly getting pissed. When was the last time they fucking cleaned this place?

Grimmjow had already changed into his burnt orange swim trunks, and removed his shirt. He was used to being topless, and only clad in a pair of trunks from all of his years as a swimmer in America. He and his father had lived in California for six years, before moving back to Japan. During those six years, Grimmjow had become a huge fan of swimming and surfing, practicing both, until he was damn near an expert.

He loved being in the water, letting it envelope and relax him, or crash against his board as he rode the waves. Nothing could be better. Except a nice piece of ass, of course. Hell, speaking of which, it had been entirely too long since he'd indulged in the sins of the flesh. He was totally overdue.

Grimmjow grabbed the long-handled pool cleaner, and dragged it through the three feet deep pools, ridding them of debris and small insects that had managed to accumulate over the weekend. Or so he assumed. Today was his first day on the job, but Hitsugaya had informed him of the camp being closed on the weekends, which suited him just fine.

He had just finished cleaning the pool to his left, when the sound of engines, and loud crunching of dirt beneath tires, emanated from the dirt path at the camp's entrance. Long, yellow school buses began piling into the large dirt and rock-covered clearing. Grimmjow leaned against the wooden railing that fenced the pools, as he observed groups of multi-aged brats exiting the buses, and then being herded together by whom he assumed were the counselors.

Damn, but those kids were loud as fucking hell. He could already feel his ears bleeding, as he left his spot, ambling towards his bag resting on a bench he'd claimed as his own. He dug through the burnt orange and dark gray backpack, searching for the whistle he'd been given that morning, and once his fingers closed around it, he slipped the electric blue, shoe-lace material string over his head. The whistle completely threw off his black, stringed conch-shell necklace, but whatever.

Grimmjow adjusted his six black, rubber wristbands - he wore three on each wrist - and black thumb rings. He hoped this job wouldn't turn his bright blue hair gray, or he'd kill Gin for suggesting it. Fuck, he'd only accepted it, because he'd heard pool and lifeguard. His mind had conveniently ignored the kids aspect of the position, as well as the fact that the pools were only three feet fucking deep, and no more than twelve by eight feet in length and width.

Too late to complain now, though.

As he sat waiting for the nightmarish job to begin, he absently toyed with his black, lower lip ring, situated in the left corner of his mouth. Thankfully, Hitsugaya hadn't made him remove it, because then he would've been pissed. He loved his lip ring; it looked hot.

Without warning, the door to the cabin swung open, admitting two orange-haired, huge-breasted chicks, and a group of kids that looked no older than six. Grimmjow rose to greet the counselors, smiling inwardly at the looks of appreciation he was garnering.

"'Sup? Name's Grimmjow Jaegerjaques, lifeguard and pool supervisor extraordinaire," he greeted, holding out his hand.

The older-looking orange-haired chick stepped forward, grasping his hand, as she smiled flirtatiously up at him. Grimmjow grinned. Wonder what she'd think if he told her he didn't like pussy?

"Rangiku Matsumoto, Group One's Senior Counselor. That's Orihime, my Junior Counselor," she stated, none too subtly straightening her back, and displaying her overly large tits.

"Yeah, ok, nice ta meet ya. I guess ya gotta get the kids changed, and they can hop in the pool. After I give 'em the rules, a'course."

"Sure thing," Rangiku husked, making Grimmjow suppress an amused chuckle. Nooo, she wasn't obvious at all.

Grimmjow watched the girls lead the kids to the changing rooms, before returning to the deck of the two pools. The sun was shining brightly, even though it was only 8:30 in the morning, and it made him nostalgic. He missed California and it's awesome weather. Ah, well.

As he stretched his arms overhead, flexing the stiff muscles in his back, his eyes landed on a small area immediately to the right. The ground had been cemented, while the area was covered by a triangular wooden roof, and was filled with picnic benches.

There seemed to be two groups gathered in the small space, because he spotted four counselors amongst the loud ass kids. A gorgeous, but stuck-up looking man, with long, raven-colored hair was standing behind a picnic table of about six kids, while a younger-looking bright red-haired male stood behind another table of six kids.

Grimmjow smirked widely when he noticed another dark-haired male, wearing...were those fucking feathers by his eye? Oh, man. He was about as subtle as that Rangiku chick.

That was all he managed to observe before his breath was stolen by a pair of syrupy-brown eyes, watching him avidly. Oh, yeah? Grimmjow allowed his eyes to roam the guy staring at him in what could only be described as awe. He had bright orange hair that stood up in spikes on top, but hung low over his brow, almost covering his eyes, and down his neck, as if he normally wore his hair shorter than its current length.

He had a cute upturned nose, and an enticing set of lips. He was slim, but toned, and not very tall, maybe 5'8", 5'9". He wore a simple form-fitting, white t-shirt, stone-washed blue jean shorts, and a well-worn pair of sky-blue, high-top Converse sneakers. Damn.

Grimmjow hadn't seen a sight that beautiful in...forever. Suddenly, elegant fingers wrapped around his upper arm, and tugged gently. The Rangiku broad was pulling him towards the group of kids gathered in the large, open doorway of the cabin. Crap. He took one last glance at the orange-haired male that was still staring at him, and smirked. This job wouldn't be so bad after all with eye candy like that around.

XOXOXOXO

Ichigo was stuck. Completely rooted to the spot. What the fucking hell was that? No, seriously. What the hell on everything holy was that? Was he the new lifeguard? There was no way that blue-haired Adonis was the new lifeguard. Oh good fucking grief.

Ichigo had already decided that today would be a miserable day after Jinta dropped his iPod, cracking the screen, as they exited the bus. Yumi had had to, literally, pull Ichigo away from the little red-haired terror before another unfortunate event occurred.

Then they'd trooped to the small picnic area, a few feet away from the pool, for arts and crafts. Which was just great, because Ichigo just knew those fucking monsters were going to ruin his clothes.

But then...that living Greek statue appeared on the deck of the two pools.

Ichigo had never seen anyone with blue hair before, but if they wore it the way this man did, then hats off to them. First of all, the guy was tall. He had to be at least 6'1". At least. Next, there was the head full of bright blue hair that was just...sexy as hell, as it fell across his brow, and formed a stylish mess everywhere else, the sideburns extra long. He had these stunning ocean-blue eyes, that glimmered in the beaming sun, as he...stared right back at Ichigo. Oh, shit.

Even knowing the man was watching him basically eye-molest him, Ichigo couldn't bring himself to stop. The blue-haired god was too fucking gorgeous, and his body...

Good Lord, his body.

He was definitely built like a swimmer, all sleek and corded muscle. He had broad shoulders that led to sinewy arms, and an equally broad chest, with well-defined pectorals. His slim waist tapered to narrow hips, wash-board abs and those sinful grooves that led to his...Lord have mercy.

The tempting masterpiece wore a pair of deep orange trunks that hung low on his hips, showing off those grooves even more. Ichigo could see that, in addition to the standard whistle all authority figures were given, the man wore a black necklace, decorated with something white all around it. He also wore a bunch of black wristbands, and he had a sexy ass black lip ring.

Just then, Rangiku, true to her nature, stepped up beside him, and wrapped a hand around his arm. Ichigo frowned, but then noticed a flash of annoyance cross the blunet's face, before he speared Ichigo with a molten parting glance and let himself be led away.

He'd been staring so intently, he hadn't noticed Yumi standing beside him, until the dark-haired man pinched his arm.

"Ow, shit! I mean, shoot!" Ichigo corrected, after receiving a disapproving glare from Byakuya. "Yumi, what the heck was that for?"

"Well, Ichi-chan, you would've heard me asking you to go get the arts and crafts supplies, had you not been in the process of burning a hole into the new lifeguard with your eyes," Yumi explained coyly.

Ichigo blushed brightly, averting his gaze, but only succeeded in catching Renji's knowing smile. He sighed disgustedly, and stomped towards the director's office, where all the supplies and games were stored.

Honestly, his mind was focused solely on the blue-haired lifeguard, and the fact that he would get an up-close and personal view of him that afternoon during his group's swim time. He couldn't wait.

Ok, I changed my mind. I'm gonna make this thing into like a four-shot or something. I've got too many ideas for me to just cram it into a oneshot. It would totally be unsatisfactory. So, yeah, hope ya liked it so far. Review! C'mon, ya know ya wanna... ;D