Disclaimer: Much as I'd love to, I don't own a DeLorean time machine. Nor do I own Hetalia.

Chapter 3: In which Prussia prepares and Germany contemplates baking.

Prussia believed that possession was 9/10ths of the law. This belief manifested itself in the way that things that were "Germany's" mysteriously became "Prussia's" as soon as they passed through the Great Border of the basement door. It also manifested itself in how he saw no problem with "borrowing" the beat-up DeLorean once its owners were out of the way.

For some reason, Prussia didn't doubt that it was a time machine. An extremely crappy-looking time machine, but a time machine nonetheless. And when life gives you an opportunity like that, are you just going to leave it parked where it is, emitting the kind of noxious fluids that would kill a cat? No, you bring it home, fix it up and use it to have an awesome adventure!

This was gonna be great.

First of all, Prussia had to get this pile of junk home. A quick search through his pockets revealed he had...€1, an old movie ticket and three buttons- God only knows why- in his pockets. So, no tow truck for him then. He'd have to push it home himself. Or somehow find someone freakishly strong and yet gullible enough not to ask too many questions to move it for him…wait, there's an idea.

Prussia took out his cell phone and dialed a number. "Hey America, I heard you're a hero now. Care to prove it?"

"Yo, America. Thanks for coming."

"Hey, no problem. By the way, uh, how did you get my number?"

"Germany gave it to me." Which wasn't a lie. Germany had shoved a piece of paper with America's number on it at him one day and told him to phone America about a policy matter for him because he'd had "an extremely long day and I am not in the mood for that idiot's blathering, I got enough of that from Italy today..."

(Apart from America and Germany, Prussia didn't have any other nation's phone number. He used to, but after he made one too many prank calls he found himself blocked from nearly every phone in Europe. And a few others. Turns out at 4am no one cares if their refrigerator is running.)

"Oh, right. So, uh, what did you want?"

"Well, see, I bought this car recently and, uh, when the salesman said it was in great condition for its age, I think he may have been exaggerating a little..."

(Now that was a lie. If there was one thing Prussia had learned over the years, it was to never get America too interested in something. It's hard to have an adventure when your way of having said adventure is being subjected to tests by an ambiguously racist alien and a self-proclaimed "hero".)

America glanced over the car, which was still occasionally belching plumes of smoke. "Yeah, no kidding."

"Sooo, I need a little favour from you..." Prussia batted his eyelashes in an attempt to look winsome. America merely looked disturbed.

"Dude, you got something in your eye?"

Prussia gave up. "Look, kid, I need you to help push this back to West's house. You in or not?"

America crossed his arms. "What's in it for me?"

"...My undying gratitude?"

"Hell no."

"OK, fine, I'll buy you all the hamburgers you want for the next week. Deal?"

America considered. "Deal."

As America prepared to lift the car, Prussia tried not to wince. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. Man, those hamburgers were gonna be expensive...

A few weeks passed. A few weeks in which Prussia was conspicuous by his absence, locking himself either inside his basement or the brothers' shared garage (meaning Germany had had to park his favourite car outside)and only coming out to eat and watch Glee. A few weeks in which Germany could actually get work done. A few perfect, blessed weeks in which he didn't show up to disrupt World Meetings with his special brand of annoying until Germany was convinced World War Three was going to erupt around him and wasn't world peace and global harmony the whole point of these wastes of time they called meetings...

Germany didn't know what Prussia was doing in his lair and quite frankly didn't give a damn, as long as it continued. Maybe if his good fortune continued he could take a break from work for a day or two, focus on perfecting that new type of chocolate wurst* he'd been working on. He'd mixed Smarties** in with the chocolate mix last time, and after careful tasting he was reasonably confident that he was on to a winner. Herr Schtick had seemed very appreciative of his last batch, after all, and Germany had learned to rely on his friend's excellent taste in food...

Prussia burst into the office, jolting his brother out of his pleasant reverie. He looked exhilarated, his normally pale face flushed, a smear of what looked like oil across one cheek and a wild grin on his face. "I'm amazing. Seriously. West my man, you'll be lucky if you become even a fraction of how awesome I am. By the way, can I borrow your camera?"

Germany sighed. "Why?"

Prussia raised one eyebrow. "Gee, I don't know. What do people usually need a camera for?"

"...if I give it to you, will you leave me alone? And bring it back in one piece?"

"Anyone would think you didn't trust me, West." Germany just looked at him. After a moment Prussia threw his hands up into the air. "Fine, whatever. Where is it?"

Germany gestured in the vague direction of the camera. As Prussia made his way out he took out a sheet of paper and started to calculate the number of Smarties he needed for his masterpiece. He sighed in happiness.

What Germany didn't know was that, while he was enjoying his newfound peace, Prussia was concocting a plan. A plan so clever and cunning that the world would tremble in its wake. Yea, verily, there would be much wailing and cries of "Prussia, I am going to freakin' eviscerate you, you won't even be a sentence in the history books once I'm through with you" in the air once he revealed the fruits of his master plan.

No more would he be the world's butt monkey. No more would the other nations be able to voice their perfectly justified grievances against him without fear of retribution. With enough evidence of the most embarrassing moments of their past, he could get them to do anything he wanted. Once he had what he wanted, no one would be able to stand in his way!

Prussia felt perfecting justified in letting out a bit of an evil laugh at this point.

And so it came to pass that that night Prussia, armed with his trusty camera and a few other necessary items, parked the fixed DeLorean on the road outside his house. The narrator could tell you in excruciating detail how he prepared the time machine for the voyage, including how he had to rummage through rubbish bins to get fuel, but quite frankly that's neither interesting to read nor relevant to the plot. Thus, the narrator shall leave everything that happened between Prussia parking and the DeLorean shooting through the air in a burst of bright light to the imagination of the reader.

*It exists. It's basically a chocolate cake in wurst form.:)

** For my American readers, Smarties are chocolate sweets in a sugar shell...think M&Ms. They're mainly popular in the UK, Ireland, Germany, Canada and Greece. Here's the Wikipedia link: http : / en. wikipedia . org / wiki / Smarties

A/N: I LIIIVE! So, um...sorry for not updating for...what is it, a year now? *tries to think of excuses* Er, I moved country twice this year (long story) and RL has been generally hectic, so...yeah.

I don't think the ending of this chapter is great, so apologies. This chapter was a pain to write for some reason and I really wanted to get moving on the rest of the story, so I kind of rushed it. I think later I'll come back and edit it.

Last but certainly not least, thanks so so much to everyone who reviewed, favourited and/or Story Alerted this fic. You guys are awesome and are basically what stopped me from abandoning this fic when I was stuck.:D

Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think.:D