Once upon a time, there was a very sexy octopus, he lived locally in Japan. He lived in the sea, with female octopi and sea urchins flocking towards him every day. He thought, "Wow, I'm really sexy aren't I?" Every day he thought this, and he was very happy.

One day, he woke up, and the sea had taken over almost all the land in Japan, he said to his friend, the Whale King, "Geez, this sure is a lot of water now, isn't it?"

The Whale King simply said "Indeed," and continued filing papers for the National Trust.

"I think I'm going to see the real world today, Whale King." The sexy octopus said.

"Very well," the Whale King responded. "Have fun."

The sexy octopus roamed the streets of Japan for hours, but he was not pleased with the culture. Around the middle of the day, he stumbled upon a small house, with some people playing with a toy boat. "How am I to sneak in without them noticing?" he thought.

He began to slow creep into the house, and neither of the two children noticed him. When he got inside, he began to feel happy. He was pleased to see a regular human house for once. He was also feeling rather hungry, since he had been traveling Japan all day long. He was eating some sushi, and loved it, then he moved onto the cheetos, they were unsatisfactory to the octopus's opinions.

Then, while he was watching a DVD of "Gigli", a creak came from the door. He shut off the TV, and hid under the couch. He peeked out the couch to see a set of sandals walking about the house. A voice rang out "Aloha, sexy octopus, I know you're here, so kindly show yo'self mon."

The sexy octopus peeked a bit more to see it was Tito from Nickelodeon's Rocket Power. He had a secret crush on Tito since episode one of season two of Rocket Power. He screamed out, "Tito, I love you!" and hugged Tito.

"I love you too!" Suddenly, a shriek rang out. The sexy octopus looked up to see that Edward Cullen had stabbed Tito.

"Sexy octopus," Edward said. "You were not meant to love Tito, you and are made for each other." The sexy octopus was scared of what Edward was going to do.

"What are you going to do to me?" The sexy octopus asked, shivering with fear every second he was in the room with Cullen.

"I just want," Edward began to say. "To marry you…" The sexy octopus was frightened, but a bit relieved considering what Edward had previously did to Winnie the Pooh.

"Considering you killed my secret crush," The octopus said. "I don't think I can accept your offer."

"Please?" Edward asked.

"Oh, fine" The octopus said happily. The two got married in the house, and Tito's dead body was the reverend. The two lived happily ever after and had 200,000 kids, but only one survived, her name was Bailey. The sexy octopus later found out that he was God, and Edward Cullen was slaughtered by Justin Bieber. The Whale King became Obama, and they all lived happily ever after.

THE END.