empire of dirt, a naruto fanfic

REWRITTEN A/N (1/24/14): Read this again recently. Decided it needed some housecleaning. Have you heard Hurt by Johnny Cash? I know Trent Reznor is the true author, but Cash's version is so much better in my opinion. Anywho, if you have, eat up. If you haven't- check it out after reading this. And… REVIEWWWW! Enjoy :)

empire of dirt

if i could start again, a million miles away,
i would keep myself, i would find a way.

There is surprisingly very little pain when she dies. There is, surprisingly, very little surprise.

Only heart ache.

..And a bit of happiness; he agreed.

Does that mean he...cares for her?

He is silently watching, standing solidly a ways before her. One hand is resting on his hip in that oh-so familiar stance. Surely the clone that materialized behind her has already vanished, though his blade remains burrowed to the hilt through her stomach. Heal! Her Inner is screaming at her, heal yourself, idiot! Doesn't she know that if there were an ounce of chakra left in her body, she would? She breaks the boys gaze to stare down at the metal tip protruding from her belly button. She reaches with shaky hands to touch it as her right knee gives out and slams on to the ground. Her pink hair falls as a curtain across her face as her head dips from the impact; the coppery taste of her own blood filling her mouth. A hard ingrained ninja reflex to catch herself from face planting is the only thing that saves her from doing so. Her left knee hits the ground.

Sakura forces her head up and hair back to look at her killer once more. Maybe he looks sad, but she can't tell; her vision is fading so quickly. She hopes beyond hope that he does. She wishes she could see his expression, to see if he feels anything, just this once. But he is only a glowing white figure amid the chaos that surrounds them, clad in black and bathed in battle. Even as a figure with no features, he is unearthly beautiful. Her heart gives an involuntary twist. How does he do it?

She lets out a strangled chuckle.

"Will you really kill him, Naruto?"

…

"Can you kill him?"

"...I have to."

"Aa.."

…

"Naruto?"

"Yes?"

"Did you mean it when you said you will die with him?"

"...I think so."

I do, too.

Her best friend made good on one part of that conversation. Somewhere behind her Naruto is a lifeless heap on the ground.

Somewhere behind her the one thing that was an anchor for her mind lays rotting away in the dirt next to all the other Leaf bodies; along with her soul, and her everything. Well, everything this man in front of her hasn't taken...which is, in all reality, everything she has ever had. Despite all the attempts to forget him, she never has been able to... Somewhere behind her, Konoha's strongest, weakest, and non- ninja lay in mass graves on the battlefield. Somewhere behind her, her home lies in ruins.

Somewhere behind her marks the end of a lifetime.

Behind her, there is nothing left.

She never thought her death would take quite so long. It's a struggle to keep her eyes open but she can't seem to look away from him. He hasn't changed his position at all, but had she expected him to? Did she think he would move to reach out to her? To touch her- hold her- whisper her sweet nothings as her life slipped away? Tell her he regrets everything, tell her he wished he had stayed in Konoha-

Tell her he loves her?

Say anything at all?

Yes. She did expect it. Or rather, she was longing for it.

She always was the weak one though; always the one giving in before anyone else. She can't help herself as his name flies out of her mouth- "Sasuke-kun."

"Sasu- umph!"

"Shut up."

"I-sorr-wh…what are you doing?"

…

"Get your hands off me!"

Push on to bed.

"Why are you in Konoha?"

…

"Why are you… here?"

…

"...Are you back, Sasuke-kun?"

"You love me."

"Sasuke-" moan.

"Do you love me?"

…

...

"…Yes."

"Don't tell a soul."

…

"Sasuke, I-"

Vanish.

Her voice is soft and feathery, barely above a whisper; a tone he has only heard in hushed moans beneath her covers. Something in him urges him to go to the girl before him. He doesn't. Her blood is soaking his sword and the ground beneath her; streaming thickly down the corner of her mouth. He is impressed, though. She has held on quite a bit longer than many who have met his blade. She has become a very powerful ninja, no doubt. She has made it this far in the battle for a reason, after all.

She is the last standing for a reason.

If not because of her strength as a ninja, then maybe because of fate.

Even in her state, her eyes are as bright emerald as ever. They shine with emotions he hasn't felt in years, and won't even attempt to decipher now. They remind him of the night he left. Quite suddenly, he finds her more alluring than he ever has in his lifetime. Desperate and needy, soaked in sweat from battle and dripping in blood, her eyes a paradox of defiance to the end yet forever submissive to him. He is sick, he thinks quickly, for finding something so morbid so sexual. His dark eyes leave hers, taking in her exotically pink hair, down her curved nose to her red lips, across the arch of her neck and shoulder, through the womanly curve before her hip. She is...beautiful?

Maybe.

"Sakura."

Sasuke has seen many deaths, but he has only ever witnessed one smile during the event. Itachi. And yet, this woman flashes a brilliantly pleased smile at a simple remark of her name. In all the nights he has stolen from her in the past year, he has never seen her smile like this. His thought-to-be non-existent heart does a quick clench. Has he ever really looked at her?

You stole those nights for a reason, boy, something remarks inside of him, sounding oddly like a mix between his father, his brother, and Naruto. Go to her.

But he will not.

I stole them for my clan, he tells the voice, and it isn't stealing if it's willingly given.

Sakura exemplified the perfect match for the one to resurrect his clan with him. She wasn't terrible looking, she was a strong kunoichi; she lived in a safe city and environment for the child-bearing months. Most of all, she was completely and utterly loyal to him. And had she become pregnant, she would have protected the baby with her life. That was something not many ninja would do for a traitor's spawn. This is why he had decided to climb into her chambers all those nights ago.

Though he had been planning to take the child away and leave her alone after the child birth.

Were you?

"I never thought I would be able to give this back to you, Sasuke, but-" She coughs up thick, red liquid that stills her words, and Sasuke has to forcibly tell his feet to remain still.

He will not go to her.

Moan. "Sas-Sasu-ke-kun.."

"A-a.."

"I...l-love...Ahh."

"Hn."

…

Dress.

…

Vanish.

"Thank you."

Confusion hits him like a boulder. The urge to move forward is so strong, he has to take a step to his right to calm the ache.

Sakura sees this, her heart breaking slowly. Does he wish to leave? Does he not want to witness her death? Does he not deem it worth his time to stay? There is no one left to kill. Surely he can spare a few seconds for her. She loves him, for fuck's sake. She fucking loves him. All those nights he snuck into her bed, all those nights of confusion, and happiness, and hurt, and he doesn't think he owes this much to her?

Just to stay- for once?

In those nights in the past year, deep beneath the world of her pale red covers that consisted of tangled limbs and needy gasps- somewhere between the seconds his presence stifled the air in her room and the complete emptiness that followed with his departure- he filled her with himself to a point she thought she wouldn't ever love anything as much as he in that moment. She loved him more than life itself. She loved him more than Konoha, more than Naruto, her friends and comrades.

She would give them all up for that one moment, if he asked.

She would have given up everything for him, right then.

She doesn't know why he came, but he always left just as quickly. Never sparing a word that wasn't needed.

But...had she expected him to?

His voice is low and controlled, almost uncaring. "For?" And she feels as if the sword pierced her heart instead.

"Sasuke-kun… Stay."

…

"Madara will be here soon."

…

...

"And you?"

"…Aa."

Vanish.

Maybe all of this could have been avoided. Maybe she could have told Tsunade Sasuke's warning and been prepared for a battle. Maybe if Konoha had known, Madara wouldn't have even attempted.

No, he still would have.

He could take on the entire city himself, if he wanted.

He is too strong.

But life is so full of "maybe"'s, and "what if"'s. What if she had betrayed Sasuke and told? What if she had been strong enough to forget her love?

She doesn't know because she wasn't strong enough. She supposes that is the exact reason he told her; he knew she wouldn't be able to tell. Maybe he did it to scare her.

...Maybe he did it because he feels something for her?

Always hope. Her eyes are still trained on his figure that's not moving away...but not moving towards her. Her vision is nearly black now- perhaps the reason she has kept on this long is because the blade is still in her body. Had he pulled it out, she would have died long ago. Medical text is running through her brain in her last moments, of course. How silly.

She opens her mouth to speak but finds her throat so clogged with blood that only a grunt escapes. She opts for pointing at the blade, smiling weakly at him. Thank you, she tells him again in her mind. The movement causes her body to fall forward, the palms of her hand digging into muddy earth. Soon she will join Naruto. Soon she will join Ino, and Hinata. She will join Kakashi and Tsunade, and everyone else she has grown up with, and lived with, and loved.

Except for Sasuke. He will live on. Alone.

Her eyes finally leave his body, because she isn't strong enough to keep her head up. It dips towards the ground as well.

Was this it, then?

Poof.

"Haruno-sama, Konoha is being attacked!"

…

"What?"

Sirens.

Sprint.

"Tsunade!"

"Sakura, Madara is attacking. Get back to the hospital."

"I want to-"

"No, Sakura! Go back to the hospital!"

…

"I will fight with you to defend our home, Hokage."

…

Hug.

…

"..Remember, we booked to have dinner next Tuesday, shishou."

…

Smile. "I'll be there."

…

"See you then."

He moves to her side when her head falls. He doesn't know why. Sasuke doubts she heard him, but then again, he doesn't want her to know he came to help her. He doesn't want to have to explain anything he can't explain to himself.

He doesn't even know why he stayed and listened to her.

Thank you, she says? Thank you?

'Thank you,' is something you say when you have no other words. It is something you say to a girl, who you have no feelings for, who finds you worth giving up her own life to aid you in your vengeance.

Ever since Itachi's death, his actions have been surprising him. He hopped through his pink-haired memory's window one night...why? He returned again, and again, and again...why? His clan.

...Right?

He found it necessary to warn her of his attack...why?

To scare her?

...To give her time to evacuate?

His hand shoots out without thought to grab her shoulder as it falls forward. Her breath hitches. He is...going to hold her? But he simply keeps his firm hold on her shoulder, making no attempt to further the contact.

His arm is the only thing holding her from falling completely to the earth.

...He is the only thing holding her to the earth.

Was this it, then?

Sakura couldn't let this be it. Somehow she manages to force sound out of her flooded throat.

"I still love you, Sasuke-kun."

Naruto.

Sasuke.

"Naruto!"

Madara.

"NARUTO!"

Scream.

Run.

"Sakura-I'm-"

"Shh, don't talk. You'll be fine. I'll heal you. You are going to live!"

Smile. "I'm sorry, Sakura."

Tears.

"I had him. I could have...gotten Sasuke…for you."

"You will next time, Naruto. Stop talking! Save your energy!"

"Madara, he..."

"Shh-"

"I'm sorry I won't be..able to...keep my promise."

"You will-"

"I love you, Sakura."

…

Tears.

Silence.

He doesn't answer, but her deathly voice sends a heavy wave of something through his system. His heart feels like it's beating too fast, and yet not beating at all, at the same time. He wishes he had the words to say to her that would comfort her.

Words to tell her things he doesn't even know. He suddenly wishes to take back time. He suddenly wishes he was normal.

He wishes he knew all this before this moment.

Despite this, he does not move closer to her, because he isn't normal. He is Sasuke.

"I have always loved you," she whispers out again; maybe if she says it enough, he will finally answer. Maybe, if she repeats it enough, he will learn to love her back. She chants it in her head, praying that he can read her thoughts. I love you, I love you, I have fucking loved you forever, I will never stop, I love you, I love you…

Her voice is so quiet he never would have heard it if he weren't a ninja. He wants to tell her to be quiet. He wants to..

Tell her she's annoying?

Heal her? Tell her something that will make her happy? Perhaps he would, if he knew how. But he is only Sasuke, and he can't- he's forgotten things like that.

It has been but a minute, and yet it feels like a lifetime. All the little twists and turns of life have led them to this moment. All of her weight is resting on the palm of his hand, and he can feel the struggle in her body as she tries to call up the energy to speak again.

Suddenly, he and Sakura both know this is it, now.

All of this was in vain, she thinks. This life, her love, everything. There has to be something left. There must be something left for her. This can't be all.

"In another lifetime..." She exhales a few pained breaths, barely drawing in any oxygen afterwards, "could it...have..been different?"

His fingers dig instinctively into her shoulder, as if they might hold her spirit to her body.

"Could you have...loved me?" She exhales again, and can't inhale at all. Her last breath is her dying words. Heavy eyelids give to the weight, falling over dulled emerald. But...she feels content. She died with Sasuke. She died in Sasuke's hands, by his hand. He was there. He stayed for her. He held her, in his own way. That was enough, wasn't it?

…Wasn't it?

Her body falls limp beneath his fingers.

"Sasuke!"

...

"..Sasuke-kun."

…

Turn.

"You let Madara kill Naruto."

"…Aa."

"Will you..let him kill me?"

…

"…I am the only one left, Sasuke-kun."

"Hn."

"He will kill me..?"

"…Yes."

…

"…Will you kill me...instead?"

Pause. "Why?"

"You took everything I ever had..."

…

Smile. "I rather you take my life, as well."

…

"...Aa, Sakura..."

He feels when her spirit leaves, because his heart aches in a way he hasn't felt since walking into that bloody room, many lifetimes ago in his childhood. He knows she is dead, but he can't bring himself to let her fall. He can't even bring himself to pull his sword out of her lifeless body. His other hand moves and suddenly he is doing something he has never done-

He is pulling her onto his lap.

Could it have been different?

His fingertips brush strands of stained-red pink out of her face.

Could you have loved me?

It has been too long for Sasuke to know love. He doesn't know if he could have loved Sakura. He doesn't even know what love is anymore. But..this, this...was it..regret? Was that part of love?

He doesn't know.

He doesn't think he loves..loved..Sakura. But could he have, in a different life?

Maybe if he had a normal childhood? Maybe if his family hadn't been massacred by his own kin? Maybe if he wasn't shaped into an avenger?

Maybe if he had stayed in Konoha?

Maybe if he wasn't so fucked up?

Maybe if he had been normal?

Life is so full of "maybe"'s, and "what if"'s. But something changes inside of Sasuke as his onyx orbs rest on the woman. He has lived his life for power, and to avenge. He has gotten both. And now what? Now that all of his objectives are completed, what is left for him?

A flash of silver hair atop a face mask flies through his mind at that thought. The man looks up from his book, the visible eye crinkled in a covered smile. What did I tell you? He is asking. It is the same man that lies dead on the ground somewhere behind him, in the shambles left of the ruins of his childhood.

He has destroyed the only place he ever claimed as a home, and he has killed or been the reason for the death of anyone he ever claimed as friends. He has reduced the woman who was to revive his clan to beg him for her death. He killed the only woman to ever really love him. And now what?

Something inside Sasuke died when his sword pierced Sakura's stomach. The fire that once burned at his soul, and ate away at his mind, extinguished.

His goal is achieved. And now...?

"Sasuke."

He doesn't even move to acknowledge Madara behind him. The older man chuckles.

"I knew this would happen. You have no goal, you have lost your Uchiha ambition."

Sasuke decides it better to stare at Sakura than to defend himself from the inevitable, for he too knew this would happen eventually.

"Uchihas...we are no good without the fire in us. You see, Sasuke? How weak you have become?"

He feels Madara right on his back. A blade presses in to the middle of his spine as the man laughs again.

"Are you not even going to defend yourself then, boy?"

The blade presses deeper. Sasuke has the urge to run his finger across Sakura's soft jawline...but he doesn't.

"I have no need for a weak man in my new kingdom, Sasuke," he feels the blade draw blood, "So either you stand up and prove to me you are worth keeping, or I will have to kill you."

It is clear to Madara that his kin isn't going to move after ten seconds. It is quite a disappointment for him, because Sasuke truly is one of the strongest Uchiha since himself. But, this is the curse of the line. Without ambition, Uchihas become weak. He knew Sasuke may succumb to this; ever since Itachi's death, he has been waiting for it. The Naruto boy almost got him, and Madara believed he saved Sasuke from this path by killing the jinchuriki himself, before the boy could succeed. Apparently he had forgotten to kill this girl off as well.

"Very well. Since we are family, I will respect that and ask if you have any final words."

Sasuke allows himself to inhale. He has been holding it the whole time.

"No final words?"

"Aa.." The blade presses through, and Sasuke feels it hit bone. "Perhaps…in another lifetime."

"Another lifetime? What?"

A final smirk flashes across his face. "Perhaps it could have been different."

This makes Madara pause for a split second in confusion before pushing his sword through his ancestors body, quickly drawing it back out. He doesn't stay to watch. He has a new city to build, after all. He has a new way of life to construct. He vanishes.

Sasuke manages to lay himself down in a way that Sakura's head remains on him. The darkness is consuming him much quicker than it had Sakura. Images of his family, and his genin days flow as blurry images of a picture movie through is mind. Learning, growing, fighting, laughing..

His mom.

His dad.

Itachi.

Kakashi.

Naruto.

Sakura.

Could you have loved me? She asks, reaching a hand out to him as they swirl around in a world full of nothing, and everything, and covered in darkness.

He doesn't take it, because he doesn't know how. He still isn't normal. He is still only Sasuke. But he doesn't turn away, because maybe he wants to learn.

In another lifetime...I don't know. He answers, watching as her ghostly figure begin to fade away. And it's true, because he doesn't love her. He would never be able to love anyone in this lifetime, and if he did, he wouldn't know what to do with it. He wouldn't even know what love feels like anymore. But...maybe, if he could start over, he might learn that as well. Maybe, it could be true. Maybe, but he doesn't know, because he is Sasuke. She smiles another smile that has his now-stopped heart aching with something.

Didn't he love her?

He wouldn't know even if he did.

Either way, her smile prompts words to his lips. Perhaps.

His world nearly blinks out to nothingness when he hears her musical voice whisper out to him, I'll be waiting, Sasuke-kun.

He feels the urge to smile. But he can't, because he doesn't know how.

Always, and then she is gone.

He can't give her what she wants, because he is Sasuke. He could never give her what she gave him. But he can answer her truthfully.

I'll be there, he thinks.

And then he is gone, too.

So, thoughts? Opinions? How could I make this better?

Let me know, or at least let me know you enjoyed it

-starry