Summary: "The last I saw you, you were driving the Antique at 80 mph." Jim agrees to meet his brother after saving Earth, but McCoy isn't too sure about that.
A/N: Welcome to my very first Star Trek fanfic! I'm still fairly new to this, since I'm only one and a half seasons into TOS. So hopefully you'll cut me some slack, even though this is a fairly simple story. But constructive criticism is always welcome.
The sections in italics are from the deleted scenes of the movie when Sam leaves. youtube.com/watch?v=U2NTsD1IFyA&feature=related
Jim had family issues. McCoy knew this. He'd known this as soon as Jim had confirmed he was the James Tiberius Kirk, son of Starfleet hero George Kirk. It was obviously that growing up without a father would be difficult. But the fact that he'd never once heard of Jim having an older brother, and then said big brother sending a message once they returned to Earth did not settle well with the doctor.
Although Jim didn't talk much about his childhood-or anything that did not involve a girl, fighting, alcohol, or becoming a Starfleet captain-he had at least spoken about his mother on occasion. When the Academy held a memorial for all those that were killed on the USS Kelvin every year, McCoy and Jim would find the nearest bar and drink the night away-although McCoy always found a way to bring at least a cupcake into it. And every birthday, Jim would mention how his mother used to always make sure never to turn on the news or anything. She had tried to differentiate George's death from Jim's birthday, but he'd always known. He'd always known that there was a part of him that did not want to celebrate on the day his father died, but he always pretended that it was for his mother. He'd pretend for his mother. But really, he wished he had a normal life, with a real father-not an angry two-faced stepfather.
Not once had Bones ever heard of one George Samuel Kirk. Sure, if Leonard had actually looked up the records of George Kirk, he would have known that he had two sons. Even if he had just paid attention every year when they'd remind the world of the tragedy when the news ran dry that day, he would have known. But that wouldn't have mattered even if he had. Jim never mentioned him, so for all intents and purposes, he wasn't real. At least not to Leonard.
"Jim," McCoy started, but was promptly cut off by his best friend.
"Don't Bones," he said tiredly as he flopped onto the bed in the dorm they had shared at the Academy. Having to return to the Enterprise, Jim knew he only had a few more days of the bed he'd been sleeping in for three years, and he was thinking of maybe getting a few more uses out of it before the new cadets got their hands on it.
But at the moment, he really just wanted to collapse on the bed and fall asleep. Not the most excited end to the adventure of a lifetime: saving countless lives, and destroying the vessel and captain that had caused the deaths of hundreds of people, including his father. But Jim wasn't in the mood to find his newest conquest. He just wanted to relax, and if Bones had anything to say about it, they'd be arguing and then talking. And Jim really wasn't in the mood for either of those.
"You don't even know what I was gonna say," McCoy defended, staring at the back of his friend. He was actually pretty sure that Jim knew what he was going to talk about. Whenever McCoy wanted to talk to Jim about something 'emotional' or family related or anything in his past, Jim immediately knew and tried to shut him down. And they continued this pattern every time, and Leonard was pretty sure they'd always be following this pattern.
"Is it about my brother?"
A pause, a hesitation, whatever you want to call it, Leonard didn't immediately answer the question. He continued to stare at his friend until he lifted his head-his eyes at half mast-turned towards him lazily. Nodding his head slightly and looking at him with tired eyes, he said, "See. I know."
"And you know you're gonna talk to me, so why don't we skip the denial and the avoiding and just skip to explaining why you never spoke of your brother and why he conveniently messages you right after we get back?" McCoy knew he was pushing it, but honestly, it would be easier for both parties if Jim would just give in. He always did. He couldn't resist Leonard's pestering or his stares or his cold shoulder treatment or his mandated physicals whose results kept going missing and required another physical.
"Screw you," Jim stated, not even trying to fain any sense of politeness. Slamming his head back into his bed, he wished that his bed was positioned differently so that he could have just fell onto the bed in the right direction. Instead, the top of his head was almost touching the wall while his feet were touching the floor. His pillow was on his left before his hand reached out, grabbed it, and dropped it on top of his head.
Jim was being difficult. More difficult than the time Leonard wanted to examine his broken hand after one of his defense trainings had ended badly, and Jim refused to get it checked out. And McCoy could have sworn that after bribing him with alcohol didn't work, nothing would have gotten the kid to let him see it. Except Leonard had finally gotten a hold of the hand-by throwing a PADD at Jim, in which he reflexively used his injured hand to block it.
But McCoy was far from giving up. He'd let the silence settle in for awhile. No matter how much Jim wanted to sleep, he would freak out about the dead silence when Leonard just stared at him.
Almost two minutes later-McCoy checked-he heard a muffled, "Stop starin' at me, will ya?"
"No," he replied curtly. He crossed his arms as he sat on his own bed, still staring at Kirk.
"Bones," he whined, still muffled. "I just wanna sleep."
"The adrenaline finally wear off? You were bouncing up and down an hour ago."
"I was also getting named captain of the USS Enterprise. Now I'm just a tired captain. Go to sleep."
Letting out a huff of air, McCoy got to his feet and grabbed the pillow off of Kirk's head. "I hate you Bones," Jim dug his face into the bed, trying his best to block out the world and the lights. "Lights 20%."
"Lights 80%," Bones countered, letting the entire room be enveloped in light. "How 'bout a beer?"
"No, sleep."
"Either take the free drinks or have me bother you the rest of the night. I had to deal with your crap on the Enterprise, explaining myself for bringing your sorry ass on board-which you owe me for by the way. It's your turn to repay me." Bones stood over him, his hands on his hips as he stood over the man.
"I hope you know what you're getting yourself into," Jim warned as he got to his feet. Bones wasn't sure if he was talking about the revenge he would surely get on the other doctor for being so annoying or the amount of alcohol he'd be consuming on Bones' tab. Almost regretting his idea, Bones waited for Jim to walk out of the door before he followed.
Bones should have known it wouldn't work out as well as he had hoped. In a perfect world, Jim was going to down two beers, spill his guts (after a little probing from McCoy) about his brother, decide it would be a night, and get their asses back to their dorm. They only have four more days to relax before they had to get themselves back onto the Enterprise. In his mind, he should have been in his bed already, slightly drunk, and asleep.
Instead he had a giant drunken lump on his shoulder that was trying to convince him to let him go home with that woman who "knew exactly what he needed". Giving a gruff "Shut up Jim", McCoy angrily dragged the kid into the dorm. He really wished Jim had helped get himself from the bar to the dorm, but that didn't happen.
And he was definitely making Jim pay for some of those drinks. McCoy knew he wasn't going to excessively drink tonight, but obviously Jim hadn't realized that. He'd even taken some shots which had definitely not helped the kid or Bones' wallet.
"Alright kid," Bones said, tossing the drunk onto the bed. Jim's face smashed into his pillow causing him to let out a giggle. Turning himself over, glassy blue eyes were staring up at the ceiling.
"What are you doing Bones?" Jim tried to say, but it came out slurred. All McCoy could hear was "Whazz you d'n' Bo's?" The older man was able to decipher it quickly, but he still couldn't suppress an eye roll.
"I'm going to bed. Lights off," he said as he fell onto the bed. He didn't even care that he was still in his uniform. He just wanted to go to sleep. His plan hadn't worked, but hopefully he could get some answers tomorrow.
"Bones?" Jim asked, his voice coming out a little clearer than it had a few moments ago.
"What Jim?"
"Do you think it's stupid meeting with my brother?" Jim asked honestly, his voice not entirely clear, but clear enough for McCoy to know what he said. He was happy the lights were off and that Jim couldn't see him because his lips curled up into a smirk. Maybe tonight wasn't a complete waste.
"I don't know. You never told me about your brother." McCoy never understood how Jim could deflect, deflect, deflect until the doctor was blue in the face, but then when the silence settled, he would bring it up himself and open the floor for McCoy to give him his opinion. Why couldn't he just tell him in the first place instead of beating around the bush? He eventually told him anyway. If he had to guess, he felt like Jim enjoyed torturing him beforehand.
Jim let out a laugh. "I haven't seen him in...I don't know, thirteen years." His voice sobered quickly although a saddened tone that Bones only heard when Jim was drunk was thickly laid on. "He left, ran off. He said he couldn't be a Kirk in our house. He couldn't deal with Frank. But he left me to deal with him."
"What do you want Jimmy?" Frank had yelled at him, as if his presence wasn't welcome unless he had a reason. Jim flinched slightly as he stared at his stepfather.
"I just don't want my brother to go," JIm's voice was soft and pleading. HIs eyes flickered to Sam, hoping he wouldn't leave. He couldn't leave him alone. Sam wouldn't abandon him. Sam wouldn't leave him to deal with this alone; Sam loved him, Sam looked out for him.
"What you want doesn't matter. You're no one."
McCoy had heard of Frank a few times. The man was aggressive, demanding, angry, and verbally abusive. Jim had never said if he was hit, but McCoy honestly wouldn't be surprised. The man sounded like a real bastard who took control of the house whenever Winona Kirk went off world-which had been often, but that was an entirely different issue. Leonard couldn't blame the older Kirk boy for leaving because of Frank, but he could blame him for leaving JIm to deal with that alone.
"I just-I hated it there. Sam said I would be fine." He let out a huff of air as if he was unloading something huge onto McCoy. "Before that I was a good kid. I tried to keep Frank off my back, but that didn't work. Frank was a bastard." Jim paused, letting the silence hang in the air as his words sank to the floor. They were weighed down with such emotion, such sadness, such heartbreak that always got McCoy down. Every time they did this, McCoy always felt like getting another few drinks or knocking some sense into the people that had ruined Jim's childhood.
It had been a few minutes before Jim continued, and Leonard wasn't sure if he had fallen asleep until he spoke again. "I just wanted Sam there with me. After he left, I took that damn car-my dad's car out for a drive and drove it off a cliff. Nearly killed myself, but I couldn't stand it. Sam was gone, my mom was gone, my dad was gone. It was just me and Frank. And that was the shittiest deal.
"Frank was gonna sell it. Behind my mom's back. Just gonna sell my dad's car as if it was his own. It felt good taking that away from him, but I had no idea how to deal with Frank when he was that angry. I just...didn't know what to do."
"Damnit kid," Leonard breathed, hating the way Jim sounded. It always killed him, but he knew it would help the kid in the end. Jim always denied it, but getting some things off his chest helped him. And McCoy would take the heartache for the kid every time.
"I just...I wanna see him, but I don't know how. He left...I don't know if he can come back."
Leonard was at a loss for words. There wasn't many times where Bones had to help him in any way other than listening. And this was definitely the hardest one he tried to help him with. He wanted to tell Jim to stick his middle finger in his brother's face and walk away, but he knew that wasn't what the kid needed. Kirk needed to see his brother, needed to have some family out there that cared.
"Maybe you should just let him. See if he wants to make amends," McCoy offered.
There was silence, and once again McCoy wasn't sure if Jim had fallen asleep or not.
"Yeah, maybe," Jim said sleepily.
"Sleep on it," Bones offered.
"Yeah. 'Night Bones."
"Night..." He paused before grinning in the dark, "Captain."
The chirping was going to kill him. Or he was going to kill it. Either way, it would stop, but he most certainly wanted the chirping to die instead of himself. On second thought, this hangover was particularly severe, maybe he would rather die.
Great, now he was contemplating death instead of turning off his damn alarm. "Gah," he said as he opened his eyes and the light attacked his eyes. "Lights 20%."
He heard some laughter and if his head wasn't being so damn annoying he would have turned to glare at Bones. "Shut up," he muttered.
Bones only laughed harder.
Jim heard footsteps before he felt something stab into his neck. A hypospray. Sighing, he swatted a hand at Bones. "I should just let you deal with the hangover. You cleaned me out!"
"I warned you," Jim defended, a smile coming to his lips as he started to feel better. Popping an eye open he glanced at the clock as he shut the alarm off. "Shit," he cursed, getting to his feet quickly.
"What?" Bones asked, putting the hypo back into his med kit.
"I'm supposed to meet Sam in fifteen minutes."
"You set your alarm for fifteen minutes before?" the doctor asked, cocking an incredulous eyebrow.
"I wasn't expecting to get drunk last night!" Jim scolded.
Bones watched as Jim bolted for the shower only to return about eight minutes later. Changing into a fresh uniform, he ran a hand through his hair. Setting off into a run out of the dorm, Bones shook his head. It seemed that the conversation from the previous night had been forgotten in his haste.
Thirteen years aged people. Jim had just momentarily forgotten that fun fact and thought he'd see his sixteen-year-old brother standing before him. Instead he found a twenty-nine year old man with his brother's features standing there.
"Where are you going?"
"As far as I can get!"
Jim really wished that the only thing he could think of wasn't the last time he'd seen his brother. He hadn't even gotten close enough to say hello to his brother, and yet all he could think of was the day he left. Damnit, maybe he shouldn't have come.
"Please stay," he begged his older brother.
"I can't take Frank anymore. Mom has no idea what he's like when she's not around. Did you hear him talking like he was our dad! That's not even his car you're washing, it's Dad's!" Sam started to walk away, but Jim still followed. He wasn't going to let his brother go that easy.
"You're gonna be okay. You always are. Always doing everything right, good grades, obeying every stupid order." Jim couldn't take his words as real. It didn't matter how good he was, Frank still went after him. Frank wouldn't care if he was the best kid ever, he'd still put him through the ringer.
Sam stopped walking and turned towards Jim, looking him straight in the eye. "I can't be a Kirk in this house. Show me how to do that and I'll stay." Jim looked away. Be a Kirk? Jim just wanted to be Jim, but that didn't seem to be good enough for anyone. Everyone was leaving him, leaving him alone with Frank. Frank was the only person that could stand Jim, and yet he was the one person that treated him the worst.
"I'll see ya." Jim couldn't match Sam's eyes. He wouldn't say goodbye.
Once Sam turned away from him, Jim watched him walk away. Always hoping he'd stop and reconsider. Always hoping he'd get up the damn courage to run after Sam and follow him.
But Bones was right, he should give Sam a chance. That was the past.
He continued towards his brother, finally close enough to see his deep-set blue eyes. He still had the same face, but it was thinner than he had remembered. He still had the same brown hair, although now it was combed back instead of poking out in the front. He was taller, about an inch or two taller than Jim. He was a little chubbier than Jim had expected, but he wasn't fat by any means. Jim wondered if Sam was sizing him up as well. The bruises and healing cuts couldn't be making a good impression.
He could see a smile crack Sam's face in half, causing Jim to return it. "Hey Jim," Sam said. Jim was happy he didn't call him Jimmy. It was a name his brother started to call him as a kid as a joke, but Frank took the name and made it into an insult. Jim never liked being called Jimmy.
"Hey Sam," Jim said, nodding as he extended his hand for a handshake. Grabbing it firmly Sam shook it, staring into Jim's eyes.
There was a silence between the two of them before Sam thought of something to say. "So...youngest Starfleet captain. How does that feel?"
Jim smirked as he cocked an eyebrow at his brother. "What do you think? The best damn thing in the world," he answered, his excitement spilling out into his words. "What are you doing?"
"I'm trying to get a transfer to the Earth Colony II research station," he answered, motioning for them to sit on the nearby benches.
He glanced at his watch, causing Jim to frown. Was he really already trying to leave already? Did he just want to see him and then leave? Jim felt so stupid for thinking this would be anything more than just seeing his 'hero' brother.
"Jim...I..." Sam stopped, rubbing a hand over his face. Letting out a sigh, he looked at the ground before turning back to his brother with a smile on his face. "The last I saw you, you were driving the Antique at 80 mph."
Jim smirked, remembering that portion of the day. That car was one of the last things they had of his dad's, and Jim had destroyed. He wondered if Sam would agree with what he did, although he assumed he would. "Yeah," Jim said, glancing up at brother. "That was definitely the most fun I'd ever had."
"I'm sure Frank loved it too."
"Oh," he laughed at the only part of the memory that made him smirk, "You should have seen his face when I came home and the cop told him that his car was at the bottom of a ravine." Shaking his head, he couldn't get the man's expression out of his mind's eye. Frank's face was twisted into what looked like pain, and then his lips turned towards, and his eyes narrowed at Jim. Frank didn't say anything until he called Jim's mother and then he couldn't seem to stop talking. "I didn't know his face could turn that purple."
"My God Jim!" Sam exclaimed, and Jim could only think of Bones' reaction to the story. Bones wanted to smack him silly for being so stupid, but Jim had gotten punishment for that little stunt anyway. "Are you crazy? Frank must have wanted to kill you!"
"Yea, but it was okay. He just yelled for two weeks until Mom got home."
"What did Mom say?" Sam asked, becoming very interested in the story. It was almost as though it was just a story Jim was telling instead of something that actually happened.
Jim bit his lip for a moment. He hadn't expected to talk about this...or anything really. He hadn't expected to say hello and goodbye, but he didn't think of what they would be talking about. And he didn't want to tell Sam that his mother decided it would be better if Jim was sent to live with her sister on Tarsus IV while she was away. She said it was to let Frank cool down, but Jim had never seen it that way.
"Mom flipped out about how I could have killed myself. And then...she just said I needed to let Frank cool off and to leave him alone while she was away," it was generally the truth. He just ignored the part where he was sent off planet.
"Well that wasn't as bad as it could have been," Sam said, glancing down at his watch. Jim frowned as he noticed this. Did Sam already want to leave? Had he really just expected for them to talk and then blow out of each other's lives like nothing? Jim hadn't had any expectations, but he wasn't stupid. He didn't think it would be quick.
Letting out a huff, Sam rolled his neck trying to crack it. "I'm sorry for leaving Jim," he confessed, staring at the ground. He couldn't look at Jim; he knew he screwed up the minute he'd seen Jim fly past him in their father's antique car. "I couldn't stay there anymore, but I shouldn't have left you."
"Sam-"
"No," Sam cut him off, actually looking up at him this time. His eyes were sad and filled with regret. "I should have been looking after you. I shouldn't have just left you there with Frank. It was selfish."
Silence passed as they both stared at the ground. Jim shook his head eventually before looking up at Sam. Although he had blamed Sam at first and was still a little mad that Sam had left him, it wasn't his responsibility to watch after Jim. Sam wasn't supposed to be watching out for Jim, his mother should have been. And that's why Jim couldn't really blame Sam.
"No. I didn't need you to look after me Sam. You did what you had to. I just wish I had followed you sooner. I moved out as soon as I turned eighteen," he said. As soon as Jim had enough money to get himself out of there, he had moved to an apartment a few miles away. He'd still stayed in Iowa, but he never visited the house unless his mother was home, which was rare.
"I still wish we hadn't gone so long without talking."
"Yeah, me too."
Silence lapsed between them again, and Sam glanced at his watch again, frowning.
"If you have somewhere to be, you-" Jim started, not wanting to keep Sam if he really had something more important.
Smiling slightly, Sam looked at Jim. "No. I've-" Something caught Sam's eye causing him to stop speaking and look away from Jim. A smile curled his lips upward before getting to his feet. "Wait here, I've got something to show you." Without even looking to see if Jim had nodded his agreement, Sam was walking away from the bench they had been sitting at.
Jim frowned as he watched his brother leave. This is what he was waiting for? A surprise? Squinting his eyes he tried to get a better look at whatever Sam was going to show him. He could make out Sam's form with one that was slightly shorter than him and another tinier form. Jim's eyes widened at his first assumption: Sam had a family.
He was most definitely surprised and happy for his brother. Although he could still feel his heart ache a little. He would have loved to be there for his brother's wedding. He could have met his wife before, been able to decide if she was good enough for Sam. He would have loved to hold that little child that was walking next to her when he was a newborn.
He didn't notice until the woman got closer that her stomach was bulging. Getting to his feet, a large smile on his face as he saw the little boy at the woman's legs. Before he could say anything, Sam was standing next to him and directing him towards the small family. "Jim, this is Aurelan, my wife. And this is your nephew, Peter."
Jim's lips would have been hurting if he had been paying attention for his smile grew even larger. Staring at Aurelan for a moment, he said, "I'm Jim."
"I know," she answered before pulling him into a hug. It was a little uncomfortable at first because of her pregnant belly, but he enjoyed it nonetheless. He hadn't been hugged like this since he was a kid. A woman he didn't even know was hugging him as if she'd known him her whole life.
Letting go of her, he saw how happy she was. He hoped that he reflected the same amount on his own face because he knew he felt it. Glancing down at the little boy, he knelt down so that he was a little taller than the boy. "Hi," he said cheerfully.
"Hi," the little boy answered staring at Jim for a moment, his hand still attached to his mother's dress.
"I'm your uncle Jim," Jim explained. When the boy nodded, but remained silent Jim did the only thing he could think to do. "Hey Peter?"
"Yeah?"
"Are you hungry?" Both Jim and Peter glanced at Sam and Aurelan to make sure they wouldn't get in trouble for this. When Aurelan nodded her head Peter nodded an affirmative.
"Alright, then let's get some ice cream!" Jim said, and Peter's lips curled up with a smile.
"Yay!" the little boy yelped, and Jim stuck out his hand for the little boy. Staring at it for less than a second Peter ignored it and reached upwards at Jim. The little boy was about three, and Jim knew he'd be able to carry him all the way to the mess hall.
Picking up the little toddler, Jim smiled as he realized how nice it felt to have the little boy in his arms. He glanced at Sam and Aurelan, knowing that his smile was larger than all of theirs. He'd finally found his family, and he knew that they'd definitely be stopping by the dorm to grab Bones before getting any ice cream.
A/N: I hope you liked it! I think I might write a companion story where McCoy meets Sam and his family. Not sure though. I just love protective Bones, it's so cute. Please let me know what you think!