Author: Fallen Angel

Email: [email protected]

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing. Don't sue.

Chapter 9

13th January, 1805

Dearest Log,

I can't sleep. It is early in the new day, but I can barely close my eyes, much less sleep.

Why should I be able to? The only man I have ever loved and the only one I know I will ever love has left me. People say that your first love is just a crush; that age and time will heal your wounds. But all wounds hurt deeply. The deeper they cut, the longer the scar will remain.

If Heero's actions had really been a wound, I would be dead right now because I'm sure he would have cut through to the bone. Perhaps I was a fool the whole time. Perhaps the knowledge I thought I had concerning people and how they act was wrong.

Or perhaps it was as Heero told me that first day on the island. I would play the optimist while he would play the realist. Maybe if I'd listened to him back then, I could have saved us both a lot of pain. I would have recognised we had very different views of the world and left our relationship at nothing.

That's wishful thinking, though. I believe that fate, to some extent, leads us to certain people. The choices we make after that are as set as our personalities are. We can't change who we are, so we can't turn back time and change what we did. I would have always gone to search for my father during the storm, and Heero would have always tried to save me after he…

Oh my god, that's it.

I think I know how to make things right again….

Sally stepped up beside her husband and watched his face by the light of the lamp. He wasn't looking at her, though. His eyes were closely watching the man by the stern of the ship, a man who looked to have lost everything he had and then some.

Heero Yuy.

"This is about Miss Relena, isn't it?" asked Sally of her husband.

Wufei continued to check the sails were firmly tied up, not answering. Anyone else would have thought he was ignoring her, but Sally knew that he never did anything hastily and that he would answer her in his own time.

"I think," he said finally, "that her effect on our friend has been greater than even he thought."

Sally sighed. "That's what I thought, too. It's a shame that it's ending this way."

Wufei nodded his agreement as Sally helped him secure the sails of the Nataku. There was to be a storm later in the night and Sally was making sure she was of help to her husband. After all, this was only the second time in their marriage that he'd let her accompany him on the journey. It wasn't a matter of there not being room - this return trip, in fact, was barely the crew and a few passengers. No, it was just unusual. There were very few sailors who travelled with their wives. Very few who even considered marriage while still young enough to work.

No, she and Wufei had taken the road less travelled. It had been hard, but worth it. Seeing Heero and Relena, Sally appreciated, once again, how easy it would have been for things with her husband to turn out differently.

She smiled at her husband and he turned to her, curious. "What is it, wife?"

"I love you, Wufei," she said softly.

Wufei's confusion turned to a contented smile. "I love you too."

…I rode that night like I have never ridden before. Time was of the essence: I didn't even take a coat with me, nor change into a riding dress. I just left, taking the fastest and strongest horse we had. I had never ridden so hard, not even on the night my father died. That night, fear and desperation had chased me and I was as terrified of what I might find as eager as I was to reach it.

But that night I rode after Heero, the night I chased the sunrise, for the Nataku left at dawn…well, that night, I knew everything in my life rested on reaching him before he left. And though I was still afraid, it was a different fear this time. I was terrified that the last words I would ever speak to him would be 'goodbye'.

I was so lost in riding, I didn't even notice when it began to rain. They were only small droplets at first, but soon turned to an almost blinding sleet. But I couldn't turn back, I couldn't stop. And so I rode on, praying that, for just once, the sun would rise a little later…

"The wind's picking up, Captain," called Trowa. "Perhaps we should leave while we have the chance."

"Perhaps," answered Wufei, pulling his coat tightly against the wind and rain.

"This storm isn't as bad as it looks," added Trowa. "A lot of rain and wind, but not much else."

"And everyone is on board?"

"The patient manifests have been checked. All on board."

Wufei nodded. "It will be dawn soon. We may as well take advantage of the conditions. Trowa, you and Heero raise the gangplank. We'll leave now."

Trowa walked away and called to Heero. "Come on, the Captain says we're leaving. Help me raise the gangplank."

Heero merely nodded and followed his friend, causing Trowa to sigh. He wasn't as attuned to human emotions as Quatre, but it would take a blind man not to see how depressed Heero was. The other man was staring off into the darkness, his eyes unfocused as they worked. Then suddenly, they narrowed, peering into the shadows near the docks.

"Heero, what is it?"

"Do you…do you hear anything?"

Trowa frowned and listened. He could only hear the wind and the sound of rain striking the planks. "No. What do you hear?"

"It sounds like…" Heero hesitated. "…it sound like Relena."

His friend sighed. The boy had it bad. "I don't…" and then he heard it too. A woman's voice, calling out against the howl of the wind.

"Heero!"

Relena cried out desperately as she neared where the Nataku was berthed. She could see, even through the rain clouding her vision, the sails were unfurled and the anchor raised. She was out of time. Unmounting, she ran down the jetty until she reached the gangplank of the Nataku. Two figures were visible at the top, lifting it up.

"Please, wait!" she cried. "I need to speak to Heero Yuy."

One of the figures peered down in the darkness at her. "Relena?"

She smiled at the sound of his voice. "Heero, please. We need to talk."

There was a moment while he turned to speak to the figure next to him, who she recognised now as Trowa Barton. Then the gangplank was lowered again and Heero strode down it towards her.

She wanted to run into his arms but he frowned when he caught sight of her from the light of a nearby lamp. And then she realised what a sight she must be: hair tangled and straggly about her face, clothes - terribly inadequate for travelling - soaked through, chest heaving with the effort of her ride.

"What did you want to talk about?" he asked, still frowning. For a second, Relena was worried that her journey had been wasted and that he really did want nothing more to do with her. But she'd come this far. She couldn't give up without even trying.

Taking a deep breath, she spoke. "Did you fall or jump?"

"What?"

"That night you saved my life, did you fall into the water the way I did, or did you jump in after me. I couldn't tell and I don't remember."

Heero frowned even more. "What does that have to do with anything? Don't tell me you came all this way in the middle of the night to ask me that?"

"It has everything to do with anything," she replied firmly. "And I came all this way because I have to know." She stepped towards him, but he didn't move a muscle. Undaunted, she went on. "Heero, if you jumped in after me, it proves what I've been trying to tell you: that it's possible for us to do anything with love. It means we don't always do what's logical or what's proper but it doesn't mean we haven't done what's right. It proves that I don't mean as little to you as you'd like to pretend."

He said nothing and Relena continued. "But if you only fell in, if saving me just sort of happened, then maybe you're right. Maybe fate dictates what we do. Maybe fate brought us together and maybe fate has the right to separate us again." She sighed and lowered her head. "And if that's the case, then maybe you should go. But I needed to know. If I have to go on without you, I need to know why."

A single tear escaped her eye and Relena hoped it was hidden by the rain already streaming down her face. "Perhaps I was a fool in coming. I admit that. And maybe I'm as naïve as you think me to be for feeling this way, but I can't help it. I love you. I love you, Heero and call me desperate, but I don't want you to leave. You don't have to marry me or anything…I just…"

"Relena," Heero said softly, effectively cutting her off.

"What?" she asked, raising her eyes to his. She was startled by the emotion she saw in those Prussian depths.

"You talk too much."

And with that, he grabbed her and pulled her into his arms. Then, without any word of warning, without any pretence, he captured her rain-moistened lips with his own and kissed her breathless. With his right arm, he moulded her body to his while his other hand ran through her hair, holding her neck and keeping her lips to his. Not that she would have pulled back anyway. She felt as if she was pouring out all her emotion into the kiss, but it didn't matter because Heero was filling her with his own.

When she finally pulled back, Relena blinked in hazed surprise. But nothing could dim the words he whispered in her ear.

"I jumped."

Sighing, Relena relaxed into his embrace and rested her head against his chest. Slowly, he stroked her damp hair and kissed her on the forehead.

"Could I…could I hear you say it, Heero? Just once," she added.

Heero smiled and opened his mouth to speak when the sound of someone clearing their throat interrupted him.

"Excuse me, Mr Yuy," Captain Chang's voice called out. "But can I take this to say you aren't coming?"

Relena blushed as she made out not only the captain's silhouette, but Sally Po's and Trowa Barton's. She hadn't realised they had an audience. Although, if she knew her new friends at all, they were probably grinning from ear to ear.

"It does," answered Heero, making Relena smile even more. "Trowa, I know you will be able to give His Majesty a full report."

Trowa nodded. "Good luck, my friend. We will see you when we return."

Heero and Relena waved to the others as the Nataku's gangplank was raised and the sails filled. Soon, as the sun rose, the vessel was sailing off into the wide blue Pacific.

"So," Relena went on. "You were saying?"

Heero smiled at her, taking in the way the first light of dawn lit up Relena's face, tinting her hair until it truly seemed to be made of gold, lighting up her blue eyes. Eyes that were now filled with hope and anticipation, waiting for his words.

So spoke them, and it was like letting something free in his heart. Something that had been trapped since he was young, but had struggled for freedom at the first sight of the diplomat's daughter.

"I love you, Relena."

~Fin~

A/N: Feedback, please. Love it, hate it? Let me know.