Byakuya Kuchiki could count on one hand the amount of times he had been rendered speechless. Most of them also involved Yoruichi and her teasing his younger self until he snapped and chased her across the Seireitei. A brow twitched in irritation at the memories, and they were quickly ushered away into the furthest corner of his consciousness. However, no amount of teasing from Yoruichi could have prepared him for his current dilemma. It had been a perfectly normal day. He had woken to the smell of breakfast, had joined a bleary eyed Rukia and concealed his amusement at her lack of enthusiasm in the morning, before departing to fulfil his usual duties as 6th Squad's Captain. As soon as he had sat at his desk and begun to contemplate the paperwork before him, everything had – and he could think of no better description than one he had overhead Ichigo using – gone 'arse about face.'

His lieutenant never arrived on time on Monday mornings, and upon sending out a scout to discover the reason why some time ago, Byakuya never mentioned it, being of the opinion that it was a miracle the red-headed shinigami was even coherent. Byakuya had found a few papers that Renji could complete for him, had risen and been about to place them onto his desk when the owner of said work-surface barrelled into the office cursing, and skidded to a stop right in front of his captain. Byakuya had raised an eyebrow at the crude language and manner of entry and was about to question his lieutenant's actions when he felt two hands come to cup his face, and found his eyes drawn to an obnoxiously happy grin before him. So far unperturbed, Byakuya set down the papers at last and brought his hands up to Renji's wrists with the intent of removing the contact. Evidently, the man was still intoxicated.

His eyes closed in exasperation, and his mouth opened to make a curt remark about his lieutenant's poor conduct, but whatever he had been about to say died on his tongue when he felt a soft pressure against his lips. Grey eyes snapped open to see Renji's half-lidded gaze, and Byakuya's breath caught at the smouldering look he was on the receiving end of. The fingers on the side of his face stroked his skin softly, reassuringly, as Renji kept his kiss light, gauging Byakuya's reaction.

Thus, the captain's predicament of being completely, utterly and totally astonished. His entire body was frozen with shock, his eyes wide as Renji pulled back – and Byakuya had not tried to maintain the contact before he realised what he was doing, not at all – and the hot-headed man reached up to brush the ebony locks out of Byakuya's face, unheeding of the iron grip on his wrists.
"If I had known you would look like that, I would have done that long ago."

Again, the red-head's lips descended on Byakuya's, this time with none of the gentle passiveness of before. Byakuya was turned and backed into the desk by the ferocity of the kiss, as Renji's tongue danced only briefly across the other's lips before dipping in to taste his captain fully, whose mouth was still open with surprise. Byakuya was half aware of his eyes closing, of Renji's hand now against his lower back, pressing him into a warm, firm body and being bent slowly backwards and down – and he was also half aware that he was doing nothing about it. The sound of the ink pot on the desk falling to the floor snapped Byakuya out of his stupor and he pushed Renji away, transfixed by the string of saliva still connecting them. Renji's warm eyes darkened, and he leant in once more to lap away at the other's now closed lips, and remove the sign of what they had just shared.

That was when Renji passed out, and Byakuya found himself pinned to the desk once more, this time by a dead weight that was his now unconscious lieutenant. Unable to do anything other than flail slightly – and of course, with perfect dignity - for a moment or two, Byakuya found himself still frustratingly secure beneath the red head's body. Regaining his senses, Byakuya pulled himself up with some trouble so the desk supported him, and lifted Renji under the shoulders to free himself. Briefly toying with the idea of propelling the man clear across the office, his fingers tapped uncertainly. It then occurred to him however; that such an action would likely result into a trip to the fourth, and the reason such things would have to be explained. Gently, he laid the shinigami back onto the desk and stood for a moment looking at him. Aloud, he voiced his utter astonishment.
"What on earth was that?"
I believe, Byakuya-sama, that would have been called a kiss.
"Senbonzakura, you are not helping."

All his zanpaktou did was snigger.