I wont even begin to try to count how long it's been since I updated, but... I recently lost a beloved family member, my grandfather, and although it is a very personal issue, I would like you readers to know. It was very hard on me to get back into the groove of writing, everything just seemed off to me. I wrote this over the past few days, finally back up to my normal self, and I hope it doesn't confuse any of you too much, all will be revealed in total clarity soon, and I hope this will satiate you. I know I have some new readers I feel terrible for being so awful these past few... whatever it's been.

Reviews would REALLY help me right now, for although I love the reading aspect, I need to know that some of you still like this :)

"I think you broke my ribs…"

"I think you cracked my femur…"

"Do you think we were a little… rough?"

"Nah… pain's good, right?"

"Yeah… Seriously, Tobi, I think you broke me."

Tobi looked down at her bald companion with a screwed, hidden smirk. Her sillohuette was dark in front of a sun that was beginning to set behind her.

"Sorry," she said, prodding Ikkaku's bruised side with her fingers. "Fourth Division now? I told you we should have stayed fighting with the swords."

Ikkaku looked at her with malice. "I hope you can't walk, you little-" he winced as she tickled his broken ribs, "-fucking midget. Help me up with that fucked up leg."

Tobi found it hard not to laugh even though she knew she shouldn't. They'd been practicing together, a morning of hakuda and petty jabs to the side, until one thing lead to another and both had ended up with injuries that only Unohana could heal. Tobi had absolutely no qualms about the larger man beating her to a pulp – she in fact did as much damage as he had done, and both knew that at the end of the day, injuries would be forgotten with a good few drinks and a few well-placed kisses.

As she hauled Ikkaku to his feet, her left leg having less energy than it had a few minutes ago being bruised and most definitely sprained, she blinked her dangerously red eyes and secretively kissed his chin, hiding it expertly from the men around them.

Tobi had gotten into the habit of wearing sunglasses (bestowed upon her by Renji) to hide her eye-colour, and covered up sexually promiscuous behavior with Ikkaku with punches and fights, from the rest of the division until she could come up with a tangible lie about how they came to be – both her bloody iris' and her and Ikkaku's inexplicable… relationship? Whatever they had.

"Sorry," she murmured as Ikkaku held his aching side with his one free arm. "Guess I went a little rough. But my leg doesn't feel much better. That punch was well-aimed and totally undeserved."

"Undeserved!" Ikkaku growled in her ear as they were shunpo-ed down the fourth division but Tobi, "You drove your palm into my ribs at like, a million miles an hour! You're just lucky I didn't pick up that sword and drive you into the ground…" He grinned through his entire complaint, and Tobi laughed.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," she sighed.

The fourth division always had the noises of men in agony, but right now it seemed under a lot of stress as dozens of medical Shinigami scuttled around like caged beetles. "Busy today, aren't they?" Tobi twisted her mouth, wondering how long it would take for them to be taken care of. The bottom half of her left leg was starting to throb under Ikkaku's weight.

"Yeah – they better get me in before any of those damn recruits," Ikkaku nudged his head towards a group of battered looking academy kids waiting to be taken in, "Pretty sure 3rd seat takes fucking priority – oi, Kotetsu!"

The tall, grey-gaired lieutenant of the fourth division whipped around as she bustled through the waiting room. "Madarame-san! Tobi! I'm sorry, I'll be right back, it's just a busy day, the academy had on-the-field training today and it didn't go very well…" She was out as fast as she had come in.

Tobi growled and leaned Ikkaku on the wall of the waiting room, limping to the doorway of the medical ward. "Yo, Hanataro! Get me and the bald-guy a room, would you!"

Hanataro Yamada ran down the hallway and did as he was told, although he did get incriminating looks of disgust at his submissive personality by his division comrades. He lead Tobi and Ikkaku to a crowded room, already full of academy recruits with bloody faces and broken bones. "Fucking weaklings," Ikkaku said quietly under his breath, receiving a tap on his bald head by Tobi.

"They're learning, you dolt. I don't imagine when you were their age, running the streets, that you were amazing either. Be a little more understanding."

Ikkaku sneered as he held his ribs together with one hand, grabbing her arm with his other, pulling him onto his lap. "How's that leg?"

"Probably broken – if it wasn't before, it is now. You're heavy as hell, you fucking lug-"

As she swore at her bald companion, Unohana bustled into the room, politely walking past the academy recruits to dote upon the eleventh's 3rd Seat – the entirety of Seireitei knew that if Ikkaku Madarame were made to wait for longer than he was accustomed, no one would hear the end of it. The longer he had to go without a fight, the more anxious he became.

"I'll have you fixed in no time, Madarame," Unohana said calmly, her perpetual smile driving a cold sweat down Tobi's spine. "And your leg will be taken care of by Yamada. We're just especially busy today, so you must excuse the bustle. Were you two having a bit of training?"

Ikkaku held back a growl as Unohana's hand prodded his broken side. "We were," Tobi said, all the while watching Hanataro hold her leg as if it were an Arabian jewel. Virgins and their stares. "But we got a little out of hand when we dropped our swords. I really don't know why I wasn't put into the second division – I'm sure Sui-Feng could handle me better than that lot. Sorry, Ikkaku."

Hanataro could feel the needles of Ikkaku's stare on the back of his neck as he dressed Tobi's leg. "Y-your leg isn't broken, Tobi-san, just sprained. You should be fine in a few hours. Just don't be too… rough."

Zuko had spent the entire day at the 8th Division, her true squad where she was 4th seat – she was only scheduled to "watch" Kenpachi, like the raven woman she was – and had come back to the Eleventh tired and worn out. She'd hoped Kenpachi would be bathed and amiable when she arrived at his washitsu abode, but to her dismay, he'd stayed up extra late to pummel the subordinate members. He wouldn't be heading to bed any time soon. But she, she would be.

Yawning like a wildcat, Zuko walked lazily towards the room she spent her nights, passing by Ikkaku's smaller, seated officer suite. The door had been left open only slightly (one good thing about the Eleventh – they weren't snoopy) and she caught sight of a piece of paper discarded on the floor. It was unlike Ikkaku to read… anything, so she thought it must have been Tobi's. Her curiosity, inherited from her daughter-like lieutenant, won over her insight, and she quietly walked inside.

Her bony, freckled fingers picked up the small note, written in Tobi's scrawled hiragana. Her bright eyes searched over the words, slowing down as she reread the note three, four, five times, wondering what could have cause Tobi to write such a thing. "Good luck, stranger. -Zero…"

"I think that's what it said," came a voice from behind her, thick and dark. Zuko whipped around to stare into Tobi's eyes above her, red and nasty. Ikkaku walked past towards the training grounds, knowing now was not the time to butt in. "I tried to remember exactly what I read. May not be perfect, but that's the gist."

Zuko stood to her full height, brandishing the note before her like a weapon. "What. Is. This?" she hissed out, anger bubbling up in the put of her stomach.

Tobi sighed and sat in the doorway of Ikkaku's room, sliding the door closed behind her back. "While I was in Rukongai, I was given a note, after realizing that every picture of my brother's was missing. It had reached the hands of 12 other's before I found me, all people-" her breath caught in her throat, "-all people we knew, 12 people we haven't seen in… hundreds of years. Zuko, how damn long can we keep up this little charade? I've been here for a few months, and I can't stand it already! How can you stand betraying people? You've been here for one-hundred-fifty! You watched Zaraki take his place as Captain. How do you do it?"

Zuko was speechless as Tobi rambled on, both of their unspoken emotions sparking out of her lips. "Tobi, don't do this," she said quietly, dangerously, "You don't know what you're talking about. Don't mess this up-"

"Tell me!" Tobi yelled at her, pulling her knees up to her scrawny chest. Her bandaged leg was throbbing, but she barely noticed. "Tell me how you can live a lie to the people you respect. Because I can't do it, it's very, very hard, and it's all I can do to keep fighting, keep talking, keep fucking Ikkaku's brain's out so I don't think about it! Why is this all happening so fast, because I was damn sure that it would be ten times easier than it is!"

"Will you be quiet!" Zuko snarled, cupping a hand over Tobi's screeching mouth. "We both agreed to do this. A lie is harmless unless it aims to harm; we're doing nothing wrong. White lies are called white lies because they're for the greater good! You're just taking it all in too fast, I should have told Yamamoto to keep you as a subordinate until you were ready to handle the atmosphere-"

Tobi bit the side of Zuko's hand, and screamed "What atmosphere! This place is a fucking disease! All they do is fight for the sake of fighting, all in the vain hope that they're doing something good, but really, when do they ever help those who need it! When did Yamamoto ever help us? Instead he chose to ignore us, to let us die off, be kept a secret from his precious little soldiers. These people are the most self-centered people I've ever met, and I'm surprised that you could ever get over that hate you had when we were kids. How the fuck did you change so god damned fast!"

Zuko's face went white as Tobi revealed almost everything they'd been hiding. "I changed so fast," she said very calmly, hoping to be the adult in this situation although the two were closer in age than anyone would have suspected. "Because I found someone that wasn't so self-centered. They aren't all bad. Even you can tell that the guys here, the men that came from places like us wish more for their peers that still live in poverty. They understand. That's why you're here; The Eleventh was the only place I could manage to see you, surrounded by people who have gone through hell, just like us. That's how I've survived. That's why I come back here every day, although Shunsui wishes I wouldn't. Don't tell me that you think Ikkaku and Yumichika and Yachiru are the dirt beneath your feet like you always thought Shinigami were? They aren't all bad… you just… have to look really hard for the one's that aren't. But they're around."

Tobi took as big a breath as possible, an image of her bald companion flashing through her head. "Yeah… I don't like it here. He's the only reason I stay. Kenpachi considers me a pal, Yumichika thinks I'm beautiful, the guys seem to be okay with the fact I can finally cut someone's arm off, but I don't like it here, and Ikkaku is the only thing that keeps me rooted. I've known him for months, and I already think… I already know that he's the one Onijiin had talked about. Just like you and Kenpachi. It's not fucking chance that I came here only to find him; you were being a sneaky fucking hawk while I was wasting away in the 76th. But even if I say, do come to like it here, what do we do about that?"

The note had landed on the floor between them, sedate but ominous, listening to every confusing, dangerous confession. Zuko swallowed the lump in her throat; Tobi raked her nails over her tattooed arms. "I already destroyed it once, Zuko… it ate at me so much that I had to rewrite it. What do we do?"

Zuko stood, taking the note with her. "If this Zero is who we think it is, then all we can do is wait. She's never been one to come out of hiding for nothing; she knows who's reading this. Judging by who it's already reached, it's touched the hands of the only ones left of us alive. She wants the group back together, obviously for the purpose of destroying…"

Tobi knew exactly where that sentence was going. "She wants to get rid of the Shinigami… But if we don't go find her, won't she just do it herself? Knowing her, she has someone already implanted here, ready the let off a nuclear bomb at the Senzaikyu. She knows we hate her, that we abandoned her, but she must still think that we all share the same hatred as she does. Judging by how the rest haven't come to be Shinigami, they do."

It was difficult to think of all of these things at once, but Zuko managed to drawl out "We wait. If none of us go to her, she'll obviously make a move. She's not smart enough to have a spy. But, she is good with words to make up for her lack of strength. We'll figure something out, Tobi, I promise, but all we can do… is wait."

Zaraki exited the compound of the bath house sleepy and content, fully ready to lounge out of his futon next to his woman – a woman who had finally come back from her short-lived bought of insanity. He couldn't wait to curl his fingers in her hair, restore the yellow in her eyes as she had told him happened whenever they had sex. The colour would last for weeks without it, but it was always brighter the next morning after.

But, he was upset to find Zuko laying on his futon – yes – but staring at the ceiling blankly, blanched and sad-faced. "The hell's wrong with you now!" he growled out, having enough of her stupidity. "Ye' either get over yourself, or get out, I don't feel like sleepin' next to a potato sack every night of my life."

Zuko didn't even reply as he threw himself upon their futon, relinquishing himself from his yukata to lay stark naked. His hair was still damp and smelled of soap, not as clean as it had been when she washed it, but the smell was better than body odour. His sinewy back muscles were relaxed as he lay on his front, one eye staring at Zuko's strange, motionless form, growling inwardly. "Say somethin' at least."

Zuko leaned her head back as far as it would go, chin reaching skyward, neck elongating like a swan. Her fingers gripped the sheets in frustration, and she then relaxed, her posture slumping. "I…" she started weakly, odd for her, "I really do… I really do love you. I realized it today. Just five minutes ago, actually. It's why I've stayed here; you know how much I hated it here in the first few years you were here. Kiganjo kept me interested; he was maniacle and interesting and damn fun to annoy, but when you came along, I didn't know you. I was devastated by the change of pace, but when you first pummeled me into the ground, gave me that scar on my back, first kissed me like a hungry wolf, I didn't see this place so harshly anymore. I never really knew how you could be ordered around so nonchalantly – although you do complain a lot – after living a life of anarchy in the 80th. I lived somewhere so different, but I still felt suffocated. You made it… bearable. And I love you. I really do."

Zaraki was absolutely silent for a while, staring at Zuko's freckled features staring at the ceiling like a ghost. He took hold of her wrist in one of his calloused hands, running his thumb across her palm. When he finally thought of what to say, it was harsh, quite unlike what he had intended. "Why the hell're you sayin' that now?"

Zuko finally cracked a feeble smile. "Because. I know you don't love me, always have, but it's never stopped me from feeling something for you. I thought I would never admit it to you, but something happened today… I just wanted you to know."

"You wanna talk?" Ikkaku yawned out against the inked skin of his blonde's back. Her body always shocked him, how mature it was and how her hips and curves were nothing like that of a girl her size.

Tobi was quiet, mirroring her Amazonian friend down the hallway. "No…"

Ikkaku didn't prod any further, knowing that the strange note he'd read had something to do with her sudden depression. He was at a loss for knowing anything to do about it though, so he settled with placing odd little kisses along her shoulder blades.

"I'm glad I met you, Ikkaku."

He paused his ministrations as her silken voice reached his ears. Her words were laced with sleep and sadness, but he melded his lips to the underside of her ear, whispering his acknowledgment, he was glad he'd met her too. He saw her smile slightly from around her neck, watched her red eyes, dark in their room, blink slowly.

"You're my best friend," she continued, reaching behind her to run her long fingers over his side. "I just want you to know that.