Thirteen Reasons Why

I never thought it would come to this. It's been a year since... since the tapes. The morning I was finished with the tapes and I had called Skye's name. I had learned a lesson or two from Hannah, and I wasn't going to let anything happen to Skye.

"Skye", I had said in the hallway. She was keeping quick pace and had immediately stopped when she heard her name. I bet it's because not too many people from school ever say her name besides teachers. She didn't turn at first, she was going to continue walking away, but I couldn't let that happen.

"Skye, it's me, Clay." Even then she didn't turn to face me, but I was already determined and heading toward her. When I did reach her, she appeared to be annoyed. "What do you want?" she asked icely, trying to intimidate like she had on the bus. It wasn't going to work this time.

"I just want to talk to you. How are you this morning?" There, that was a start. Although my morning had been horrible, sending the tapes off to Jenny, I couldn't help but ask.

Skye shrugged. "Boring. Why?" She finally turned around to face me and for the first time in a long time, I saw her lovely eyes up close. She was still wearing the baggy clothes, a sweatsuit, but that didn't change the fact that her eyes were amazing.

At fisrt, I didn't know what to say. I knew I was late for class, but the morning had already been hell, so it seemed like a small price to pay. I was honest with her.

"Because I care, that's why. What's wrong with that?" I waited for her to reply. My answer had definitely caught her off guard. She saw that I wasn't intimidated by her.

"...Nothing's wrong with that. But why do you care all of a sudden? It didn't seem like you wanted to listen on the bus." She was defensive and tense. I met her challenge.

"Maybe if you weren't trying to push me away I could have listened. You never gave me that chance." My voice was firm and I wish I could've had this courage when I was with Hannah that night at the party.

Skye actually digests what I say and considers. She seems to relax.

"Oh. Well... sorry." She tried to change the subject. "You're missing class," she pointed out.

I shrugged. "I don't care, Skye. If I have to miss class to talk to you, if that's what it takes, it's a small sacrifice." For the first time in a while, I see her smile. And her whole face glows. I wish I could make her smile all the time. But then the smile disappears.

She whispers almost suspiciously. "Why are you doing this Clay?" she asks.

I take a chance, something I never did with Hannah. Reminding myself of Hannah helps me rebuild my courage when it begins to falter.

"Isn't it obvious?" I whisper back. "I like you. I really do. And I want to help you."

I knew she needed help, if she didn't, she wouldn't be blocking everyone out of her life. Instead of smiling again, her face falls and she begins to cry. Because of that, I feel awful. But it puts me in the position I need.

Unbelieveably, I actually wrap my arms around her and comfort her while she cries. There's no clue in my mind why she's crying, but there's no doubt in my mind that it's bad.

She shakes, but I hold her tight and I refuse to ever let her fall alone again. If she ever does, I vow to go down with her.

"Tell me what's wrong," I say,"what can I do for you?"

And that day turned into multiple events. Eventually, yes I went to class. The worst part was seeing those people that knew. They looked at me and I knew and they knew. But there was a difference. I was blameless. That, considering, made me only feel more guilty. But what was there I could do? I wasn't going to bring it up. That would be digging into the wound.

I made it through the day, and at lunch I spent every minute with Skye. She refused to tell me what the issue was at first. But eventually she gave in to me.

It was her parents. They had split up and neither of them wanted her. I couldn't imagine how she'd felt these past years. She was living with her Aunt, but the hatred her parents felt for her never left her.

I told her that might be the case, but if they didn't want her, then she should should know that I did. That was a big hint and she took it. We've been dating ever since.

Needless to say, Skye is completely changed. She even dresses nicely again. It's kind of funny, the way my buddies talk about how she used to be. But I know they're teasing. There's a glint of envy in their eyes when they talk about my girlfriend. Another huge change, Skye is definitely more social. I'm happy for her.

I owe it to Hannah. You were my first love, but you gave me the chance for a second one. I see things in a whole different light now, and I plan to go to college for psychology. Then I plan to help teens with suicidal , someday I plan to marry Skye and have children. Hannah made this possible. The best for my life happened because of her.

But still, I miss her. I think of her often and wish I could kiss her one more time. That'll never happen though. I know it. There are some nights I have dreams where I see her again, and when I wake up I cry so hard afterward. Skye tries to comfort me, but I can never tell her the reason for my dreams. I would never betray Hannah. But I love you Hannah. I hope you know that now, where ever you are. And no matter what, I always miss you.