I cannot apologise enough to anyone waiting for me to update my other fics. It will be soon, I swear! And I know this is cliche, but I love it and plot bunnies attacked me! x) Thanks for reading, I own nothing 'sept a smattering of the plot (It has been done too many timesfor me to take credit).

Fuck.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Shit.

Remus Lupin had thought something was wrong.

But this was bordering insane.

Seriously.

…

Nope, definitely him. He moved his hand again, double checking.

And the reflection moved as well.

Remus's reflection.

Except female.

And virtually naked.

Silently Remus thanked Merlin that he had actually worn boxers last night. They were baggy now, hanging wrong. They were too tight around his widened hips and not tight enough around his too thin thighs.

Oh crikey.

The first time Remus actually got to see some real boobs and they were his own.

Remus tilted his head, examining his newly revealed curves, biting his lip nervously as his blue eyes took in the soft skin.

Well it was different; he would give the spell caster that. Maybe the gender-jinx was making a comeback.

Remus turned his attention to the rest of his body, reluctantly tearing his eyes away from his torso. Studiously he examined his face. That at least had some aspects of familiarity. His features were roughly the same, albeit softer and obviously more feminine. His nose was slightly smaller and his jaw less prominent and more heart-shaped than he remembered. His eyes too were the same, the same shade of dusty blue and his chin length sandy hair still in the same untidy cut it had been last night.

The scars were still there of course. They littered his semi naked figure, little indentations and raised white lines. Scanning his thin, bony frame it was quite obvious to Remus which were the newer ones, which ones were taking longest to heal and which ones held the most painful memories. He turned to the side, staring emotionlessly at the long, pink puckered line stretching the length of his back and curving round to his hips. It was quite interesting actually, the way that the life long marks had stretched with his skin to fit tightly over his re-shaped skin.

Remus normally avoided looking at himself naked; it was not pretty and now wasn't any different.

It was at this moment of course that the door burst open, flooding the room with Marauders and making Remus jump.

"REMUS WAKE UP YOU LAZY SO- fucking hell!"

Had the situation not been quite so embarrassing, Remus would have laughed. From the reflection in the mirror he could see the frozen figure of Sirius Black, James smirking just inside the door and Peter's anxious face bobbing up and down to try and peer over the shoulders of the taller boys blocking his view. It was quite comical actually.

Nervously Remus looked around to find something to cover his exposed body with. He saw a red jumper lying haphazardly on the floor and quickly pulled it over his messy hair, turning around to face his friend.

James wolf whistled. "Somebody got lucky last night" he chuckled raising one thick black eye brow. Remus frowned slightly and his eyes flicked to Sirius, whose surprise seemed to be morphing rapidly into a mixture of shock and humour.

"So who are you then?" he asked smiling. He unfroze and slouched cockily towards Remus with his hand outstretched. "Mirror useful last night?"

Remus frowned again at Sirius' barely contained smirk. If they were trying to be funny, it wasn't. They knew that Remus didn't date.

"No actually, I…"

"So what house you in, Beautiful?"

"Sirius I…"

"She's a Ravenclaw," Peter piped up, having squeezed his plump frame through the door, "Only Ravenclaws have boobs like that…"

He trailed off, blushing scarlet under the inquisitive gaze of his companions and the slightly awkward silence that had appeared.

"Wormtail," James grinned, "forever the secret lover."

Attention turned back to Remus.

"You're not though, are you? You look familiar. Really, really familiar."

James was doing that raising one eyebrow thing again, a habit of his that he employed while being a) sarcastic b) deep in thought or c) cynical. From the current situation, Remus guessed it could have been any of the above.

"So yeah, anyway. Where's Remus then? I didn't think he was one to sleep this late, especially on a Saturday." Sirius continued impatiently.

Remus stayed silent. What should he say? Remus is standing right in front of you guys, he's had an overnight sex change. No… He's popped out for a bit, and er, may not be back for sometime. No. That wouldn't work. They would figure it out eventually. No Remus and instead some girl who looks pretty much identical? How would he explain the girl-turning-up bit anyway?

"Um…" Said Remus, his eyes flicking anxiously once again from Marauder to Marauder. "Um…I…uh."

They looked far too expectant for Remus's liking. He didn't mind when they were expecting homework answers, they were logical and straight forward. This was not.

"Come on Beautiful, surely you know where lover-boy has got to," Sirius jibed, but his grin quickly fell when he saw Remus's quite sober expression.

Awkward silence fell once more. Remus bit his lip and nervously itched the bridge of his nose.

Jame's eyes widened in realisation.

"Hold the Hippogriff! fucking hell… it's you! Your Remus!"

Remus carried on biting his lip and itching his nose as he watched the expressions of pure mirth and glee spread across his friends faces.

"Um…"

Sirius looked like Christmas had come early.

"Shit Re, it is you! I would never have guessed it. Your nervous habits give you away mate. What happened?"

He bounded forward again and bent down the two inches or so to reach his friend's height, pushing his face uncomfortably close to Remus's.

"I er…"

Sirius interrupted and looked over his shoulder to a hysterical James and still blushing Peter. "Merlin, I didn't know that the gender jinx was back in fashion, did you Prongs?"

Catching his breath, James shook his head. "Nope."

Sirius looked back at Remus, still grinning.

"Ah well mate, it will wear off in a few hours or so. Bet it was Snivellus, he never was that imaginative."

Remus gave his friend a small smile which Sirius returned heartily, his black eyes sparkling.

"You gonna hide in here all day? What are we gonna call you? Remus-etta?"

Remus glared at him.

"Maybe not. We could just stick with Moony if you'd like."

"Yes,"

"You sure?"

"Yes."

"Your not going to have some elabriate cover story?

"No."

Sirius stood up to his full height and looked exaggeratedly down at Remus over the tip of his long, straight nose.

"Well, Remus John Lupin, I, Doctor Black, hereby pronounce you an official Spoilsport!"

Remus smiled slightly. "Good."

He paused.

"But what am I going to do for clothes?" He looked down at the baggy red jumper (which was, incidentally, Sirius's) and greying boxers her was wearing. "I can't go to breakfast in this and I'm starving"

"We could get you some toast from the kitchens," Wormtail piped up quietly, but Sirius waved his suggestion away grinning.

"Sure you could!" said he, "You're not exactly hard on the eyes, Moony." And winked.

Winked.

Remus sincerely hoped he never did that again. It was a known fact that Sirius flirted with and shagged anything with big breasts but still, he was still Remus!

Suddenly James let out an exited, high pitched squeal.

"Merlin! You know what this means? We have a totally legitimate reason to go and see Lily!"

And promptly ran out of the room and disappeared down the dorm stairs

Hope you liked it. It is definately not the best I have ever written as it is not my normal style. Hopefully it is a little amusing though. Review with your thoughts! x