Inspired from the Au discussions on the forums, about how High school Aus should be written.

WARNING: Hinted Slash, Lots of Swearing, violence, the whole caboodle. Will stay away from strong Lemon. For now anyway. Contains a number of very British terms (I.e. 'fit' 'dole' 'snog' etc) As Au as they come Ooc characters. starts off fairly PC, but it only goes downhill from here baby!

Defunct

"Fuck off."

Barda took a long drag on his cigarette.

"Make me bastard" he smirked.

Lief glowered and lit his own cigarette, resting his feet on the wall opposite the bench.

Barda laughed and seated himself next to him on the bench.

"You seen Jasmine lately?" asked Lief nonchalantly.

Barda knew his friend well enough to know what he was thinking.

"You won't get far with that girl mate, I mean, great tits and all that, but she's practically frigid... no wait...she is frigid."

"She is not!" spluttered Lief, instantly regretting it.

"You know what she said to Dain? 'I want to wait till I'm married!' Are you fucking kidding me? What kind of girl thinks that?"

Lief flushed red and looked at his feet, then hastily changed the subject.

"You done that English homework?"

"Nah. Who bloody cares about Othello?"

Lief Smiled.

"Ms. Lowe probably. And that's about it."

He checked his watch.

"Better head off. Mum'll be back from the dole by now"

He stood up and slung his bag over his soldier.

"Lief? You ever considered Jasmines sister?"

"Who Lindal?"

"Yeah. She's pretty fit if you ask me. And less snotty."

Lief raised his eyebrows.

"She's fucking terrifying! She's like, twice my size! Imagine if I tried to snog her! I'd be kissing her tits!"

Barda laughed

"Would that be so bad?"

"Do You like her?"

Barda was silent. A historical first.

When he opened his mouth to speak again it was on a completely different topic.

"Have you seen Doom? He must work out a lot."

"Bang! Bang! BANG! ...Lief...you're dead now. Look! I shot you!"

Lief ruffled his cousin's hair.

"What did you play today Marilen?"

"Mounted Police and Indians! We wiped out all the Indians!" She put as much emphasis on all as her lisp would allow her to.

"Good."

Six years old and already a homicidal manic. She does me proud.

"Tomorrow we're gonna play gangsters! Lief! Lief!" she tugged on his jumper sleeve, desperate for acknowledgment "I'm gonna be an untouchable!"

"Good. Where's mum?"

"Inside...Lief, You're dead!" She mimed shooting him again.

"Well I just go inside and die shall I?" chuckled Lief

"Yeah."

He laughed again and went indoors.

"Mum? Mum!"

Sharn walked down the stairs and raised her hand for silence.

"Not too loud sweetheart. I've got a migraine."

Lief snorted.

She's always got fucking migraines.

"Are you still taking Marlien to the zoo on Saturday? "He asked, trying his best to ignore the strong smell of alcohol.

"What? When did we decide that? We never decided that!"

Lief's calm demeanour started to crack.

"You promised her! Two weeks ago!"

"Sweetheart, I'm sure I would've..."

"No, you wouldn't! You always fucking blow her out!"

Sharn glared at him.

"Don't use that language around..."

"Oh fuck you! Don't you tell me not to swear when you..."

"Lief..."

Sharn and Lief turned around.

"Can we play jungle explorers?"

Marlien stood in the doorway. Lief shot Sharn a nasty look.

"Of course"