So my friends and I were indulging in some girl talk and man you find out a lot of weird stuff when you do that… And it gave me the idea of letting Serena and Blair spill a few secrets that way. This is loosely based on the stuff that came up during the chat that inspired the fic, and while it's far from smut I still rated it M since, well, they're talking sex.

I'm not quite sure where this would take place in the Gossip Girl timeline. After CBs dry spell but before the breakup, obviously. Since Nate and Serena hadn't been together all that long at that point, there's a lot more CB here than there is NS. Plus for some reason it's a lot easier imagining CB getting creative in the bedroom than it is NS.

"B do you have any batteries?" Serena asked, walking into Chuck and Blair's bedroom without bothering to knock. "Nate's remote went dead."

Blair lifted her eyes from the skirt she had been buttoning. It was just past lunch, she had arrived half an hour ago from NYU and jumped straight in the shower. She hadn't even been aware that anyone else was home. She still hadn't gotten used to Serena being there all the time, though she definitely didn't mind having her best friend there a lot.

"Yeah the little neck massager Dorota gave me requires double-As" she told Serena. "They should be in the top left drawer in the dresser."

She walked inside the bathroom to put on her deodorant. When she stepped back out into the bedroom Serena was of course looking through the second drawer to the left.

"No S, not that on-" she began.

"B gross!" Serena cut her off and held something up. "Not that I am one to judge but I really don't need to see my best friend's sex toys. Especially not when it's the kind that goes up the backdoor."

Blair smiled, highly amused by Serena's frown. The toy was small and purple and she wondered if she should tease Serena by asking how she knew where it was meant to go. But she knew that simply telling her the truth would get the best reaction of all.

"S that's not mine" she said.

Serena looked highly confused and studied the object as if trying to figure out what it was and what it was used for, if it wasn't Blair's sex toy. Then it dawned on her and she tossed it on the bed as if it were made of glowing hot iron and looked like she was going to be sick.

"No, oh God B, that's so gross!" she shrieked.

"What?" Blair asked innocently.

"God, that… Oh God that's going to haunt me in my nightmares until the day I die! I'm going to be sick. That is absolutely disgusting!"

She stormed out of the bedroom and Blair couldn't keep herself from laughing. She walked up to the bed and picked up the device. She wondered briefly if Chuck would be upset that she shared this particular detail with Serena, but the look on her best friend's face had been so absolutely priceless.

Then again her own reaction had been something similar. It had come up a few months ago, when Chuck had been coaxing her to agree to try anal sex, which she thought was absolutely revolting. There was only one place he was supposed to put it and anything else was simply gross and unnatural, which she told him in no uncertain terms. He had still wanted her to at least try, insisting that it felt really good and was highly intense.

"Yeah, for you" she had snorted.

He had then revealed to her that he had actually tried it both as the mailman and the letter box, his words. A revelation that had freaked Blair out to the point of her leaping out of bed, scolding him for being disgusting and stormed off, even though it was almost midnight. Given the reason why her father had left her mother, the knowledge that her boyfriend had had sex with other men was a bit too much for her to handle. She went back to her dorm, immediately jumped in the shower and then avoided Chuck's calls for two days.

Then she had begun to feel bad. She realized how she would feel if she revealed something that intimate to Chuck and he reacted similar to how she had reacted now. And in the back of her mind she knew that the risk of him running off with another man was just as low as the risk of him running off with another woman. The man might be omnisexual, but his heart belonged to her one hundred percent.

So as a peace offering she went out and bought the toy, offering to use it on him if he really did like that kind of stuff. After all, could it really be any weirder than the time he made her stand on her head during sex, or the time he had brought her to a funhouse after hours just so they could have sex surrounded by mirrors?

"I will never be able to look at Chuck again!" Serena's voice complained from the living room, bringing Blair back to the now.

Still smiling widely Blair walked out to the living room to join her best friend, who had slumped on the couch and was making all sorts of disgusted faces.

"What, S?" Blair said innocently and took a seat on the other end of the couch, letting her fingers casually play with the purple toy.

"Blair I cannot believe you let me touch that thing."

"Let you? You were the one who went through the wrong drawer and picked up the first shiny object you saw."

"Just the knowledge that I touched that thing after where it's been…"

"Oh spare me S. Like you've never done anything kinky." She twirled the toy around and studied it thoughtfully. "Besides, it isn't that weird."

"It is Blair."

"The prostate is to men what the g-spot is to women, and the only way to access it is through the backdoor. Chuck pays attention to my spot so I should return the favor. I'd much rather use a toy to do it than my own fingers."

"Ew, I don't even want to imagine you guys with that thing."

"You should have seen his reaction the first time I did this" Blair said and flicked a switch Serena hadn't noticed, which made the device vibrate.

"God, it's like having a mental stomach flu" Serena gagged.

"What's weird is women who want things shoved up there" Blair argued and turned the toy off. "For men there's at least the prostate thing, but for women? Only gross."

"Well…" Serena said, eyeing her fingers that were playing with a strand of her long, blonde hair. "I wouldn't necessarily agree on that."

Blair's jaw fell and she let out a little laugh.

"Serena! You're making an enormous deal out of Chuck enjoying it, and you like it?"

"It's different for women."

"And you've been a man so therefore you know?"

"I can't believe you'd shove that thing in your boyfriend yet you think the act itself is gross" Serena shot back, hoping to take some of the focus off herself.

"We're not talking about me now. We're talking about you."

Serena made a face.

"I don't know what to tell you B… It's such an intense-"

"Pain" Blair cut her off. "It's got to be. The fact that anyone would even think to try it… For Chuck it's at least prostate stimulation, but for you it's just something pushed into a place where things should only be coming out."

"It's actually really good" Serena argued. "You don't get to judge me."

"Oh I so do" Blair laughed.

"I'm not going to encourage you to try it if you're not comfortable with it. But I do think you're missing out on something."

"Have you done it with Nate?"

"Would you really want to know?"

Blair shrugged.

"Yes I've done it with Nate" Serena said.

"Does he like it?"

"We don't do stuff that only one of us enjoys."

"I can actually understand why one might agree to try it with Nate."

"As oppose to Chuck? I don't follow."

"Serena you forget, I dated Nate" Blair said and put the toy down in her lap. She held up her hands, giving a measurement.

"Yes, that's Nate" Serena sighed, thinking this was a touch too awkward.

Blair moved her hands further apart.

"This is Chuck. So if he thinks he's going anywhere near the wrong place with that thing, he is sadly mistaken."

"What, for real?" Serena said. "I always thought he was… you know…"

"What, small?"

"Well you keep hearing how he's such a champ in the sack, and yes I do admit I am curious about his sexual performance. I mean he is Chuck Bass after all, and while I would never want to touch him like that, or at all come to think of it, I can't help but be a touch curious."

"What does that have to do with size?" Blair asked.

"Smaller guys make the better lovers because they work harder."

Blair snorted.

"That's just something Nate, and I assume Dan Humphrey, want you to think so they can feel better about themselves."

"B…"

"What can I tell you S, it's the truth" Blair shrugged. "Chuck knows what he's doing, believe you me. Maybe he doesn't put much effort into it when he's with some random bimbo, but with me he's very attentive."

"Good to know" Serena said, making a face.

"Not to mention innovative."

"I'm sure."

"Just the other week he showed me a whole new way to use handcuffs."

"Spare me the details, please" Serena said, holding up a hand.

"In a way though, I envy you and Nate. You guys are still in that passionate honeymoon phase."

"You guys have lost the passion?"

"No, but you know what I'm talking about. When you're so hot for each other that the slightest touch arouses you, and even the fact that you're starting to chafe doesn't stop you from going at it again."

"Chafe?"

"Oh you guys aren't that busy?" Blair chirped. "How sad for you. But then again I always knew few people could match the chemistry Chuck and I have."

"Sounds unhealthy to me."

"Sounds like sour grapes to me."

"Blair would you please stop playing with that stupid thing?"

Blair looked down and realized she had picked up the toy again and was fiddling with it. She shrugged.

"Don't be such a frigid old hen."

"Thank you, I believe that is the first time anyone has ever accused me of being frigid."

They both giggled and Blair pulled her feet up underneath her, finding a more comfortable position on the couch.

"But seriously S, don't tell me things aren't hot and sizzling between you and Nate. You two wouldn't have been bed-hopping all over Manhattan before getting together if you didn't enjoy sex."

"Of course we enjoy it" Serena said. "Like you said, we're still in that initial honeymoon phase. We're still exploring each other."

"Every orifice" Blair noted.

"Yeah well that happened quite early on. In the bathtub."

"I didn't need details. But the bathtub is always nice. Throw in some bubbles and candles… Though truth be told I prefer to get down to business after the bath. Preferably on that soft rug in Chuck's bathroom."

"And here I thought you and Chuck were so wild and hot that baths were required after" Serena said cheekily.

"Seriously, I do miss that initial phase" Blair sighed. "We're still passionate like crazy, but it can be days sometimes between sessions."

"Days?" Serena echoed.

"Yeah at one point we reached eleven days. Then there were handcuffs involved."

"Blair I'm fairly certain that most couples can go months."

"Oh God" Blair frowned.

"You sound horrified now, but wait until you've been together for a couple of years" Serena said.

"Oh like you would know. Your longest relationship lasted like seven months."

"Eight actually."

"And I know you didn't pluck Humphrey's delicate flower until a couple of months in" Blair added.

"Actually…" Serena said and wrinkled her nose. "I am a bit nervous about that. You know, the part where you've begun to settle down and you've been together for months and the sex isn't as new and exciting anymore. Sometimes I wonder if it was a mistake to start having anal sex so soon, rather than saving it for when we need to spice things up again. And we've been experimenting with the Kama Sutra for the past two weeks, maybe we should have waited with that too?"

"The Kama Sutra? Nice S."

"Isn't that the kind of thing you should employ when you've gotten past the initial exciting phase?"

Blair shrugged.

"Who's to say you can't have a little creative fun even at the very beginning? Though truth be told I've never gotten as far as the Kama Sutra. I've looked in it once and it seems more like gymnastics than sex. I had no idea you were so bendy, S."

"So what do you guys do for fun? I'm curious" Serena said with a grin. "I could use a touch of inspiration. But please, spare me any games that involve other people getting humiliated in the process."

"Well, have you and Nate tried role-playing?"

"Not yet, but I have a couple of fantasies I wouldn't mind him bringing to life" Serena said with a shy smirk.

"Fantasies are one thing" Blair argued. "Fantasies can include food sex or shower sex, or tying each other down. I'm talking straight up role-play, which can of course be based on a fantasy, but doesn't necessarily have to be."

"I did always want to try the naughty schoolgirl thing" Serena admitted, giggling through her slight embarrassment.

"Okay, so try it tonight."

"I don't know, I'm a touch iffy" Serena admitted. "I don't know that I will be able to just get in to character and really get into it. I'll probably just think it's silly and start to giggle or something like that."

"Giggling is absolutely forbidden, unless you're playing a valley girl. Or he's playing a clown. Which is by the way the one role-play I have denied Chuck thus far. Clowns are way too scary to be even remotely sexy."

"I think I'll stick more to fulfilling fantasies than engaging in role-play."

"Too bad. There are so many great pieces of literature one can bring to life in the bedroom. Chuck's and my first was Les Misérables. He was Marius and I was Cosette who snuck out to the barricades at night so we could have at least one night together if we were indeed to be separated."

"Creative" Serena said and giggled.

"Speaking of creativity, come on S, it can't be that hard to think of something fun to do with Nate."

"I do have ideas. I like… Okay this is a touch embarrassing, so don't judge okay?"

"You expect judgment from the girl holding her boyfriend's-"

"Please don't say the word!" Serena said, holding up both hands.

"Go ahead and tell me, S."

"Okay, I kind of like playing a bit rough" Serena said, wrinkling her nose and blushing at the admittance.

"And?" Blair prodded.

"And… You know, with… props and stuff."

"Yeah I got that. Get to the awkward part."

"That was the awkward part."

"What, that you enjoy a good spanking? Hardly surprising given where you let Nate put his little sailboat."

"Blair. Wait, you're into the rough stuff?"

"I don't like whips or boards or things like that" Blair said. "An occasional spank I can allow, and I don't mind being taken roughly at times, but I've tried the board thing and it wasn't really my kink. I don't like to mix pleasure with pain."

"I kind of do, so I guess there's something wrong with me."

"According to my sexual omniglot of a boyfriend, lots of people enjoy feeling degraded in the bedroom. I don't really get it. Submission can be so hot, but if Chuck brought in a whip he'd better mean for it to be used on him. Or else it will, whether he wants it to or not."

Serena laughed and Blair smiled slyly.

"Of course, I have punished him in bed. Without the aid of whips."

"But with the aid of handcuffs."

"You know me well." She smiled widely at the memory. "It was after cotillion when he trapped us in the elevator."

"Oh. Good to know someone got punished for that."

"The best part was he thought he was actually going to enjoy the punishment."

"Okay now you've lost me."

"I'd told him I would be spending the night with you, not him. So when I showed up here he was pleased, to say the least. Even more so when I told him to undress and then handcuffed him to the bed. And also used scarves to tie his feet down."

"Wow. You really mean business when you punish."

"Then I left him to go change in the bathroom, came back, gave him a little striptease and then wore only his favorite crotchless corset."

"I don't need to know all the details."

"Well without going into too much detail… I kissed him at the corner of his mouth and then made my way down and gave him the kind of treatment he usually considers the opposite of punishment"

"Of course you did" Serena said, smiling even though she felt a bit uncomfortable with the mental image.

"Except I know him well and know when to stop. At first he didn't seem to mind but once it dawned on him that I had gotten up off the bed without bringing him all the way home he got a touch cranky. Then I kiss-teased him."

"I have never even heard of that."

"Quite simply, I kept placing light kisses all around his mouth, and very light kisses on his lips, pulling back whenever he tried to kiss me harder or with his tongue. It's kind of hot actually, you should try it. Especially when you've got the guy tied down so that he can't use his hands to press your lips down on his."

"I don't get how you can resist in a situation like that."

"It's easy when you're the one with the power. The more frustrated he gets, the more fun it is for me."

"I think Nate would just lose his temper."

"Chuck knew he was being punished" Blair shrugged. "Anyway, after I finally allowed him to engage in some heavy kissing I… made him return the favor from before. Put his mouth to better use."

"No details" Serena said, holding up her hands. "But is he any good at it?"

"Well I actually have no reference pool, but he gets the job done."

"Wait, you mean you never… with Nate?"

Blair blushed.

"It's… intimate, you know?"

"Uh, yeah, it's oral."

"No, I mean…" Blair blushed even more and tugged at the hem of her skirt. "To me it's like the greatest level of intimacy. Maybe that's weird, I don't know, but I mean it's mouths and genitals. But I've never let anyone else but Chuck do it for me since I've never felt comfortable enough with anyone else, or wanted to be as intimate as I could imagine with them. And Chuck's the only one I've gone down on."

"You're probably the only girl in the country who thinks that is more intimate than penetration" Serena commented.

"You think it's silly."

"I think it's very you. Somehow you've tied it in with romance. But hey, to each their own. I've always seen it as more of a natural part of foreplay, and unfortunately with some guys the only good you're going to get, but that's me."

"It is natural with Chuck and me. And to be perfectly honest with you I… actually let him go down on me once in junior year. Actually the last time we had sex before I went back to Nate at cotillion."

"But wait, why would you agree to that and then not go there with Nate or Marcus or… anyone else?"

"I don't know, I guess I just… felt comfortable with Chuck. I did feel comfortable with Chuck. Even then."

Serena nodded. They were both silent for a moment, and it felt kind of awkward. They hadn't really had any explicit sex talks before, and having one now when Serena was dating Blair's ex and Blair was dating Serena's stepbrother seemed like an awkward timing.

"Anyway" Blair said, getting back to her punishment story. "Once he had done his job like a good little boy I rewarded him by, well…"

"Riding?" Serena suggested, thinking that they should be at the point where they could say things straight out.

"Yes" Blair confirmed. "I actually thought that with my head start I would finish before he did, but he was a bit... eager so I had to take some measures."

Serena looked puzzled. Blair smiled crookedly but kept the next detail to herself. Chuck had blurted out that he was about to come, so she had stopped, slapped him and told him in no uncertain terms that he would do no such thing without her say so. He had been startled enough to lose momentum, which had served her purposes perfectly.

"Anyway, I kept going until I was finished and then I left."

"Left?"

"Yup. Up and left. He wasn't done yet, in case that wasn't clear. I sweetly thanked him and threw on a robe to go get something to eat in the kitchen."

Serena burst out laughing.

"What, you just left him there? Unsatisfied and tied up?"

"He was really mad" Blair admitted. "Yelled after me, loud enough that Nate came out from his bedroom and wondered what was going on. I kind of took it too far, I mean I wouldn't want to be left lying there naked, tied to the bed."

"So you went back in there and untied him?"

"I… had tiramisu with Nate. But then I went back and after putting him through some more teasing torment I let him finish. And then I untied him. And then I put my clothes back on and left, before he could regain function of his limbs."

"Wow, B. Remind me never to piss you off again. I don't really get the point of that kind of thing, honestly. Spanking is one thing, but teasing your partner to the point where they're just in a bad mood seems too mean."

"He deserved it."

"Forgive me for saying, but you guys seem so rough with each other all the time" Serena said. "Adultery games and leaving him tied up and…"

"Those are just games, S."

"Yeah but I have never heard you call each other pet names."

"Pet names are for sex. But we do use pet names in everyday life."

"Like what? I have never heard you call him honey or sweetie."

"I call him my love or my dear. He calls me my darling."

"Extremely snobbish and overly formal" Serena said with rolling eyes. "Tres you."

"Well if Chuck called me pumpkin or baby doll while serious and fully dressed I wouldn't be able to take him seriously."

"I call Nate sweetie-pie" Serena grinned. "Oh don't make that face, B! It's cute and it's romantic."

"Chuck is my love, not my sweet pie."

She did actually have a sweet pet name for him but she would never tell Serena about it. It had begun as a joke but eventually evolved into something she used seriously, but he only allowed it under the assurance that nobody would ever find out about it. She knew he actually kind of liked it when she called him that, but she also knew he would be humiliated and mortified if she called him that in public or if anyone even knew about it. And she didn't mind having it that way. Keeping it private between the two of them made it more special.

The pet name had been born out of her surprise at how snuggly he was. She had never taken Chuck Bass for the cuddling type, but he loved wrapping his arms and legs around her and nuzzling his face in the crook of her neck, or between her breasts. Snuggling had quickly become a ritual for them, and nowadays they rarely got out of bed without cuddling for ten to fifteen minutes first.

All this cuddling had prompted her to teasingly call him her little snuggle bunny. He had been appalled when she first said it and his strong reaction had amused her so she kept using it as a form of loving teasing. Eventually he had gotten used to being called that, and she had begun to use it without teasing, and somehow it was now an accepted pet name. But it was corny as hell and she had no trouble seeing why he didn't want it to become anyone else's knowledge.

"I guess that overly sweet and romantic stuff doesn't work for us" she said to Serena with a shrug.

"You're Blair Waldorf, you live for the overly sweet and romantic stuff."

"Yeah but my love is a lot more classy than sweetie-pie."

"It depends on the mood I guess" Serena shrugged.

A memory made Blair start to laugh.

"I once said something overly sweet and romantic in bed when the mood was all wrong for it" she told Serena. "It was a few days before Christmas and I was caught up in the Christmas spirit or something, I don't know. Anyway I said this really cheesy thing and Chuck started to laugh and the mood was completely ruined."

"That reminds me of the first time Nate tried to talk dirty" Serena laughed.

Serena was not much of a dirty talker herself, so she had been thoroughly surprised when Nate had opened his mouth and said something which was meant to sound dirty but came out more like purple prose porn. She had burst out laughing and he had been embarrassed. It had taken them a while to get the right mood back, at which point he had tried the dirty talk again, this time sounding like he had learned everything he knew about sex from watching really bad, vulgar porn. And Serena had laughed again. Eventually he had found the right tone for his dirty talk, but Serena still found it more comical than arousing.

"I cannot imagine Nate Archibald talking dirty" Blair smiled.

"I can imagine Chuck Bass doing it" Serena replied. "We hear you sometimes, you know. We can't make out the actual words but do you two ever shut up when you're having sex?"

"It's another one of our games, which started that time when I said something far too sweet for the situation" Blair said. "We then challenged each other to see who could say the most over the top romantic thing while we had sex of the more rough variety. I won, by likening his sperm to… well, it was quite a long metaphor actually but it had to do with flowers and clouds and whipped cream."

"Even when romantic you guys are completely creepy" Serena decided, making a disgusted face.

"Yeah but that was the whole point. To try and throw each other off by being over the top cutesy and romantic."

"And you do that now on a regular basis?"

"No not exactly that. But we had so much fun with it that we sort of made it our thing for the next week or so. The point is always to come up with the best thing to say, but it doesn't have to be sweet and romantic. Once we went for pure dirty talk. My personal favorite tough was when we went for movie quotes. The rule was simply that the only things we were allowed to say were quotes from movies."

"That just sounds like a whole lot of hassle."

"The point is to have fun" Blair said. "And to make it last longer. When you're trying your damndest to think of something to say that will top what he just said it throws your concentration just enough to make the sex last longer."

"Yeah but how do you find a movie quote that will help you tell him to slow down, go faster or move his leg this or that way?"

"That's the trickiest part, but then again we're usually so caught up in it that it somehow works anyway. You should definitely try it S. Movie quotes are my personal favorite, like I said. We've done that a few times by now. Chuck still holds the gold for best comment but I will beat him."

"Let me guess, he quoted an innuendo from a Bond movie" Serena said, rolling her eyes.

"No… He orgasmed and then turned to a fictional audience and yelled: 'Are you not entertained?'"

"That's just disturbing!"

"Not really" Blair said. "I laughed so hard that I couldn't even try to deny later that he had won that round."

"I cannot believe you have let Chuck turn you into someone who would find that even remotely funny."

"Yes, but even I have my limits."

On one occasion they had added the variation that the quotes had to be from animated movies. Chuck had gone down on her and then looked up at her and said: "Slimy yet satisfying". Jokingly meant or not, Blair had furiously given him a kick to the solar plexus and that had been the end of sex for that night.

"S this is just the stuff we do for fun" Blair said. "Sometimes we have sex that's all about passion, sometimes we joke and play and have fun, something you should be familiar with by the way after the water balloon fight between you and Nate I was unlucky enough to walk in on. And sometimes we just shut the world out and focus only on us. We may have our kinks but when we make love it's really something else."

"Nate says he got the idea for the water balloon fight from walking in on you guys battling it out with water guns" Serena smirked.

"We do play a lot of games" Blair said. "But like I just said. A lot of the times it's just him and me. No toys, no games, no lingerie. Just the two of us."

"Sounds a lot more healthy than any of the rest."

Blair smiled. She and Chuck had a lot of different routines in bed, but the perhaps simplest one was also among her favorites. Sometimes when they woke up they would just lie there and look at each other. They would then kiss and Chuck would get on top of her and they would have sex. Always in the mornings, always missionary, always with no talking. It was different from most other things they did but it was somehow one of their most intimate forms of sex.

She realized Serena had begun to talk about something else she did with Nate and Blair snapped back to attention. Slowly the conversation began to drift from the more exclusive aspects of their own sex lives to more general sex talk, like unfortunate noises or nearly getting caught in the act. Blair found out that Nate and Serena both liked having sex in public places and she silently promised herself to never go out with them to any place where they might decide to engage in said activity.

Their conversation was interrupted by the elevator ringing, and they both noted to their surprise that it was well past lunch by now. They had been talking for hours, even though it hadn't felt like it.

"Good afternoon ladies" Chuck said, strolling in.

Blair turned her head to look at him and smiled when their eyes met. She knew he was happy to see her there, but less happy to see Serena. Had they been alone he would probably be with her on the couch already, engaging in the kind of thing Blair had spent the afternoon talking to Serena about.

Serena was equally displeased to see Chuck. She made a face, held her hands up and then got up from her spot on the couch.

"Oh God, I can't look at you" she said. "No. Ew. Just ew."

She darted off to Nate's bedroom and Chuck followed her with his eyes, highly confused. He turned to Blair with a questioning look and motioned in the direction Serena had taken off.

"What's with my sis?"

"Serena found Mr. Purple" Blair said and waved the vibrator around.

"I see."

"And I told her who the proud owner was. You should have seen her face."

"You girls have been sharing secrets?"

"Just a little harmless girl talk."

"That sends Serena running off? Must have been some talk."

Blair smiled and got up from the couch. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him tenderly.

"How was your day, snuggle bunny?"

"Productive. How was yours?"

"Arousing." She held up the toy. "You know we haven't used this in a while… Want to put it to good use?"

He smirked and kissed her eagerly. She then took his hand and led him to their bedroom, closing the doors behind them. Together they quickly undressed him. While he worked on unbuttoning her skirt she remembered something.

"S came in to borrow batteries for Nate's remote" she said. "I forgot to give them to her."

"Who cares?"

"Just saying, poor S. We're about to have some fun and she doesn't even have the TV to keep her company."

Chuck looked thoughtful.

"I really don't think it's fair" he said. "For you to tell her about the toy without me present. I would have loved seeing the look on her face."

"It was a classic."

He kissed her hotly, but broke the kiss suddenly and walked over to the dresser.

"What are you doing?"

"Getting my fair share of Serena's look of horror" he said, grabbing his robe. "I'm going over to give her the batteries. And to ask her if she has any lubricant."

He walked up to Blair, gave her a kiss and grabbed the vibrator from her. He then headed off to Nate's bedroom and Blair quickly pulled the bedspread off the bed in preparation for his return before hurrying after him in a fit of giggles.

She had only gotten halfway to Nate's bedroom before she heard Serena cry out with disgust and, apparently, throw something. Chuck then came back out, grinning widely, and grabbed Blair by the waist.

"Retreat!" he ordered, more or less pushing her backwards towards their own room. "You were right. That was a classic."

They went back to their bedroom and closed the doors.

That evening when Nate came home and sat down to have dinner with his friends he couldn't understand a thing. Blair was smiling contently, Chuck looked like a cat who had gotten the keys to the whole dairy and Serena looked nauseated.

"What do you guys say to watching a movie tonight?" Nate asked, hoping to break the odd mood he couldn't figure out the reason for. "I think American Psycho is on."

"How about Gladiator?" Blair suggested.

Serena rolled her eyes, Blair began to giggle and Chuck raised an amused eyebrow. Nate's eyes went from one to the other but he still couldn't figure it out.

"Or maybe we could all have a water balloon fight?" Serena suggested to Blair and began to giggle as well.

"Or play schoolgirls" Blair added.

"Okay, you've completely lost me" Nate sighed. "Chuck are you getting any of this?"

Chuck shrugged.

"Girl talk."