A/N" Hey-o, Zulu fans! Betcha didn't expect an update of THIS this century! So anyways, I finally got Chappie Tres done, and hopefully it'll live up to your expectations.

And by the wizzles, before next chapter the rating shall be elevated to M for future VI! O! LENCE! So remember to either check the M listings or put Zulu on your subscriber list...

Adios, fanios!

"…did you see him? He was trying to hit me, I'm completely certain of it!"

"Pharos, he was three lanes away, he was nowhere near hitting you, and certainly wasn't attempting to, as evidenced by his wild beeping at that stupid swerve of yours. You're being paranoid, as always."

"Did you see that angle? If I hadn't done that, he would've hit me, like he was trying to!"

"If you hadn't done that, we would've been perfectly fine, and so would the three drivers who hit each other because of that swerve."

"You're just in denial, Xavier!"

"...Get out of the driver's seat, Pharos. It's my turn."

One sword. Twenty black uniforms. One, two, three, four, five fingers on this hand...

My stress counting gradually slowed as I took the situation in fully. There were twenty people in black uniforms who apparently didn't like either Zack, me, or either of us. Zack apparently saw them as a threat because he had a sword out.

A flash of light interrupted my thoughts. One of the men, a large, lumberjack-like man who was too big for his uniform, had cracked a Poké Ball, and his rhydon was now staring us down. Well, that's not good.

One by one, the other nineteen men-I noticed they were all men and filed that away in my brain for later thought-released their legion of Pokémon. Pidgeot. Arbok. Parasect… My thoughts trailed off as a glare of red appeared at my side, and within seconds a luxray was glaring down the rhydon.

Zack smiled his shark-bite smile as he faced the militants. "Now, we can do this the easy way, or we can do this the hard way. Your choice."

The lumberjack hesitated before pointing his shaking finger at Zack. "Rhydon, smash him!" The rock monster lumbered toward us–well, "lumbered" may be wrong, considering he was moving as fast as a marathon runner.

"Wrong choice." Zack and his luxray didn't even need to talk before the massive electric lion let out a roar and charged towards the rhydon. It bit down on the solid horn of the rhydon–and snapped it in half. As the luxray spat bits of horn out, the rest of the men started to back away slowly.

"Hmm…" Zack mumbled. "Nah, I'll let Pharos do the honors. Luxray, Glare." A flash of electric light appeared in the lightning lion's eyes, and within seconds the entire Black Uniform Brigade had collapsed to the ground and laid there, completely unmoving, their Pokémon Helpimmobile next to them. To be frank, it was rather disturbing.

Zack twirled the sword in his fingers. "And that's how we settle things RSL style. Well, no it isn't, but I feel like saying it anyway." Still showing off a mouthful of knives, he sheathed the sword and turned back to me.

"What the…" I stuttered. Sac barked and wagged her tongue at Zack, as if to say, I like this crazy man! Regaining my senses slightly, I blurted out, "What, how, who…what the hell just happened?"

"That, my friend," Zack said, "is the Pharos-is-going-to-go-bloodthirsty-so-I'm-going-leave-these-bodies-for-her tactic. In the long run, it's the preferable option to waking up without half your eyeball."

I screamed, annoyed. "Agh! I need answers, dammit! Who is Pharos? What the hell is up with the Rabid Red Rs? Ad why am I apparently necessary for this whole debacle?"

Zach sighed again. "You'll get your answers once the getaway car makes it here. Andddddd here it is, that's convenient." A silver, beat-up sedan pulled up right in front of us. One look at it would tell you that it had been through a lot of crap in its time of nonlife, and another look would tell you that it was, despite being banged up, still a perfectly normal silver sedan.

The driver's seat door opened, and two people tumbled out in somersaults that would've made a gymnast proud, landing on the ground in a landing that would have gotten a 10 from everyone but the Sinnoh judge. One of them, who a quick observation revealed was most certainly a girl with short black hair, looked around, manic blue eyes twitching, looking from me to Zack to her partner and everywhere else. After a few seconds of scanning, she focused her eyes on Zack-well, she focused them enough to obviously be looking at him. "Are you sure it's him, and not some impostor that wants to hurt me and you and Xavier and kill us all and ohmygod I better just get him now or maybe he'll get me ohgodohgod-" She was cut off by the other somersaulter, a curly-haired boy with a vaguely Oriental skintone, as he clamped his hand down on her mouth.

Rolling his eyes, the boy-I presumed he was the Xavier crazy run-on sentence girl was talking about-turned his head to Zack. "I see you've retrieved Sol, Zacchaeus. Good work."

Zack–Short for Zacchaeus? I thought. That's pretty funny.–snorted at his darker-skinned counterpart. "Xav, would it kill you to just once call me Zack? And hey, Pharos. I left some bodies for you."

Xavier opened his mouth to speak, but before he could let a word out the girl–the Pharos I had heard so little about–ripped his hand off her mouth and gave a happy little giggle. "Yesss!"

Zack chuckled a little. "I'll watch her, Xavier. You take Sol back to the car and wait for us." Turning back to Pharos, he added. "Alright, Pharos. I'm guessing you have your knife?" Not waiting for an answer, he walked back towards the bodies, Luxray still at his side.

I turned to Xavier, still completely confused. "Wait. This is a suburban neighborhood in a rather nice area. Wouldn't a girl killing a bunch of unconscious people seem a little, oh, conspicuous?"

Xavier shrugged. "You know, Sol; Zack's zorua can ALWAYS cover them up."

I gave him an ever more confused look. "Zack has a zorua?"

Xavier's expression turned into an incredulous one. "Hm. I guess Con–Damien, dammit!–DAMIEN was right; you have lost your memory of all this."

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever; I have a feeling this won't get explained anyway. Let's just go to the car."

Xavier shook his head a little. "Okay, Sol." He marched the two feet to the car and hopped into the driver's seat. A little unnerved, I hopped in the back behind him, Cel and Sac leaping in behind me. Xavier's ear twitched, and he turned back to face me again. "You should probably call your Persian back so Zack can have a seat."

"Right." I pulled a Poke Ball out of my pocket and pressed the button, absorbing Cel in a blob of red light. Reorienting myself with a poochyena on my lap, I asked Xavier, "So what exactly have I forgotten?"

"It's a long story. It all started when–" He was cut off by Pharos barreling into the car, leaping over him and landing in the passenger's seat. Zack came up next, taking his spot right next to me in the back (he had thankfully called back his monstrosity of a luxray). The swordmouth turned to Xavier and grimaced. "Rockets killed, bodies mutilated and turned into shrubs. Let's go, Xavier." The curly-haired boy nodded, and with a quick push of the pedal we were off, driving into the valley of the unknown.

Credit for Pharos and Xavier goes to Happy2BMe and WereDragonEX, respectively. Credit for Pokemon goes to Nintendo and Game Freak. Credit for curvy swords also called cutlasses goes to pirates. Credit for Ham goes to pigs...