Changes

This might be a sad one, I cried when I was writing it. Just because I am acknowledging Jess Angell's death in this story, doesn't mean I accept it in any of my other ones. This is written because I needed to get it out of my head. It's Jess's birthday and Don go to visit her grave and tell her about the changes going on around him.

I own no one and nothing to do with CBS or CSI NY, I am just borrowing the characters for a little bit. I promise to return them when I'm done.

I write this for myself and anyone who needed comfort this week.

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Don walked slowly through the cemetery, carrying a dozen red roses. He could get to his destination with his eyes closed, he'd come here so many times. He slowed when he got close, seeing the headstone from a hundred feet away.

As he approached, he looked at the picture engraved in the headstone. It was a picture of her that he'd taken shortly before her death. She was so beautiful, just as he remembered her. He saw her every time he closed his eyes. She was his Angell, and he missed her more and more everyday. Today was her birthday.

Don knelt down at her grave and held back the tears that always fell when he thought of her. He placed the flowers in the vase that sat next to her picture. He'd done this on the anniversary of her death (if you could call it that), and of course he brought flowers on their anniversary of their first official date. He'd also brought some on Valentine's Day, Easter, her birthday last year, Thanksgiving, and Christmas.

Those were all important holidays to her, and it made them important to him. He made sure to always be here first thing in the morning on those days too. Jess always loved mornings, and she ran every morning, making him come along before and after they got together. He now spent every holiday here with her before going to work or any get together with family or the team.

"Good morning Jess." He started, his voice catching when he said her name. "Happy birthday, I miss you so much my Angell." He sat on the cold ground in front of her headstone and traced her face that was forever left there.

"Everyone says hello. I finally had to tell Stella and Mac why I could never be early to any of their get holiday parties. Mother hen Stella is still worried about me, and she's passed her staff on to Lindsay." He explained as he stared at her picture.

"You see, Stella went and got herself promoted and they transferred her to New Orleans. I think Mac is lost without her. He's not eating regularly like she always made him do, and he's working those long hours again." He said.

"Then there's Stella's replacement, Jo Danville. The jury's still out on her so far. She's a good investigator, but she's just not our Stella." He told her.

"Oh, you remember Shane Casey? Well, he broke out of prison and went after Danny, using Lucy and Lindsay as bait. He and Danny got into a stand off in a lighthouse and we all thought that Casey had fallen to his death. Well, he wasn't dead. He went to Danny and Lindsay's house and was holding a gun on Danny while holding Lucy in the nursery. Lindsay came in and saved the day though, she killed Casey." He sighed.

"But then again, you probably already know all that. You're probably looking down on all of us and keeping us safe. You're our guardian angel, Thanks for that Jess." The tears were now falling down his face.

"Listen my Angell, Lindsay really needs you right now. She's been avoiding the subject of the shooting. She's closed herself up and I can tell it's eating away at her. Everyone calls her a hero, but she just cringes when they do. Send her some of your loving energy and help her get through this Jess." He told her as he wiped the tears with his sleeve.

"We all miss you Jess, me most of all. You don't know how much I miss and love you. I still can't sleep without your pillow under my head." He bent down and kissed her picture.

"I'll be back soon Jess, I'm late for work. I love you always my Angell, and I'll never forget you." He stood and looked down at her headstone.

"With all these changes going on around here, some will forget you...but rest assured my love that I never will. Bye for now Jess, I love you." He told her and slowly walked back to his car.

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