A/N - I want to start off by apologizing to all of you for the ridiculous amount of time it took me to update this story. In my defense, I was unemployed w/no prospects of future employment when I started all these stories and then, out of nowhere, I got a freakin job! So, on the bright side I'm no longer poor, but that means I have less time to update. I promise though, outside of coma, death, or full body paralysis, nothing will keep me from completing every story I've started. Pretty pretty please R&R, it's all I want for Christmas!

Disclaimer - I own nothing, except my shame for taking so long to update. :(

"I can't believe my other baby boy is leaving!" Kitty sobbed as she hugged Hyde tightly. "Can't you just get her to come here? Why do my babies keep leaving?" Kitty cried into Hyde's shoulder.

"Mrs. Forman..." Hyde began, but his voice got lost in the older woman's tears and tight embrace. He looked behind her to Red, eyes pleading for help. Red sighed as he pried Hyde from his weeping wife's clutches.

"Kitty, Steven is a grown man now and he has responsibilities. He has to do this." He tried reasoning with her.

"I know, Red. I know." Kitty conceded as she went to hug Hyde one last time. "Now you remember Steven, don't gas up at nighttime and don't let yourself get below a half-tank." Kitty nodded while imparting her traveling wisdom.

"Now," she reached down for the cooler at her feet "I packed some turkey and ham sandwiches, pops, and some Twonkies, because I know how much you boys like your sweets." Kitty laughed sorrowfully.

"And remember," she said as they all walked toward the El Camino "don't talk to any strangers…" she scowled slightly "especially strange women. We all know how that worked out for you last time." She kissed a now frowning Hyde's cheek and then turned to her husband "See you inside Red," she said before walking back toward the house, giving the men privacy.

"Ahem," Red cleared his throat catching Hyde's attention "I wanted to uh…apologize." Hyde scrunched his eyebrows in question. "You know, Kitty and I always saw you as our other son and…I let you down when you needed me most." Red was rubbing the back of his neck, in obvious discomfort and Hyde still looked confused. "The one time I bit my tongue was the one time I should've been shouting from the rooftop what a dumbass you were and I can't help but feel it's partially my fault that the Loud One left with your son…my grandkid." Hyde looked at Red stunned.

"Mr. Forman, it's not your fault..." he started but was cut off by Red's gruff reply.

"No, Steven. When I thought…when I knew Eric wasn't ready for marriage I let him know how I felt. I did everything in my power to stop it. When Samantha showed up here, I should've done the same for you and I'm sorry for that."

Hyde stood there staring at the man he would always consider his true father. Even though he and WB were building bridges, WB couldn't go back in time and be there for him all the times that Red was. Red would always be the father that child-Hyde needed and the man that adult-Hyde wanted to be.

"I'm going to give you advice I wish I'd given a long time ago. Don't be a dumbass. You tell that girl how much you love her and do it every day until the day you die if you have to, and marry her. Dear God just…marry the girl." Red said with a frown fixed on his face. Suddenly, his features softened as he looked Hyde in the eye " And take care son." Red shocked them both when he pulled Hyde into a tight embrace. Hyde spoke up, trying hard not to choke on his emotions.

"Thank You." he replied hoarsely as he slid onto the leather seat and closed the car door, taking one last look at the home and family he was leaving behind.

"Ok, underwear, diapers, shoes, socks, what am I forgetting? Ummm…uh…ok, ok…bottles, can't forget about bottles!"

"J, what are you doing?" Blair asked as she stepped into Jackie's room in their Manhattan penthouse to see the girl frantically pacing and shoving things into a suitcase. They'd just gotten back from Los Angeles so she knew they shouldn't be traveling until they left for the tour.

"Oh!" Jackie exclaimed, dropping the bottle she'd been holding and jumping at the loud crash it made on the hardwood floor. "You startled me!" she replied, avoiding her cousin's question. "You know it's rude to just barge into people's rooms Blair," she said reproachfully to her cousin's enquiring gaze.

"Jackie?" Blair approached the girl, having recognized the fear in her cousin's eyes. "Is this about Alex's father?" she asked, already knowing the answer. Jackie didn't respond, but her stiff posture was answer enough. "You can't run away. You already did that once. It didn't help."

"Don't you think I know that?" Jackie snapped and then sighed, sinking dejectedly into the bed, the adrenaline rush she'd gotten from her last-minute decision to run again, now gone. Blair sat beside her, careful not to wake the sleeping baby. "It's just…I don't know what to do." Jackie admitted as she looked to her son, his rhythmic breathing briefly entrancing her.

A part of Jackie knew Hyde would never hurt Alex and that part of her ached for her son to know his father. But then, she remembered there had been a time when she had thought Hyde would never hurt her either. This was the precise reason she didn't date anymore, she couldn't trust her own judgment. But Alex's heart was far more important than her own.

"Blair?" she took a deep shaky breath "What do you think I should do?"

"Well…" Blair contemplated "the vindictive part of me would have you tell Hyde exactly where to shove it and then have my daddy make it so he couldn't so much as see a photo of Alex in a tabloid magazine without fear of repercussion" Blair said with a glint of evil flashing in her eyes that gave Jackie chills. "But..." she continued in a softer tone "having had first hand experience with separated parents has put things in perspective." Blair reached for Jackie's hand.

"If you love Alex, and I know you do, you've got to let Hyde into his life. I know you're scared he'll get hurt but either you take the chance he'll get hurt and let him know his father or you guarantee he'll be hurt by keeping Hyde away." Blair paused for a moment "Think of how you felt when your father went to prison, or how I felt when my father went to Paris, or Serena and her father. Even what you've told me of Hyde and his dad. Do you really want to do that to Alex?"

Jackie blinked and the barely contained tears began to roll down her face in hot burning streams. "But… I still love him," she whispered sadly as if this revelation alone explained everything and really, it did.

Hyde fingered the three part Betties album he'd bought on tape. There was already a buzz in the music industry about the innovative music and marketing techniques of the album and he wondered how much of it was Jackie's idea. She'd always been at the cusp of new trends.

Looking through it now he could see that each tape had a title. Tape one: The Good. Tape two: The Bad. Tape three: The Ugly. He laughed softly as he figured this was probably all Jackie's idea. If there was ever an appropriate labeling for the stages of their relationship, this was it.

As the first chords in the first song of 'The Bad' began to play, he briefly flashed to the determination he'd had when he went to Chicago, but unlike then, nothing would make him leave her now. He'd get her to love him again and he'd raise his son and they'd be a family.

Jackie lay back on her bed with her walkman, having let her cousin convince her that running again was the wrong decision, she did her best to calm her frazzled nerves. After Blair had left, their cousin Georgina, their friend Serena, Blair's mother, and even their maid, Dorota, had all tried comforting Jackie. She let out a bitter laugh because as often as she'd wanted to be the center of attention, right now she wished everyone would just leave her alone. Those few weeks before she'd finally had enough and decided to leave Point Place had changed her. She'd discovered that despite her fear of being abandoned, she actually quite liked her own company. Taking a deep, calming breath, she pressed play; The first song on 'The Bad' always brought her back to that moment she realized she had to be her own woman, strike out from Point Place and stop relying on the familiarity of the basement. It hadn't been familiar for a long time anyway. Not with Fez as a ladies' man, a blonde Donna, no Michael or Eric in sight, that weird guy Randy and the stripper whore everywhere, and Steven no longer the man she remembered him being.

Every promise you've broken

You can have 'em back

She could remember every promise he ever made to her. When they first got together, he'd promised her he'd never hurt her like Kelso did. Then he cheated on her with the nurse. At the beginning of that summer, when Kelso fell off the water tower, he promised her he'd never hurt her again if she took him back. Then, when she chose him, he chose Raquel instead. When they were finally back together he promised her he'd never choose someone over her again. Then there was Sam.

Every favorite moment

All their good memories were playing through Hyde's mind as he traveled the highway to New York: Her cheering for him, him shaving his beard for her, Veteran's Day, despite how the date ended. He'd even enjoyed prom, the first half of it anyway. Valentines Day. Their first kiss. Their first real date. The first time they made love. The memories flashed by faster than the scenery through his windshield and Hyde pressed harder on the gas pedal.

Every panic attack

Jackie could pinpoint the second the seed of distrust was firmly planted in their relationship and she'd done it. God if there was ever a time she really wished time machines existed, it was then. Maybe if she'd done a better job explaining her "leftover feelings" he'd understand. Sure, she loved Michael but, she loved Donna, Eric, and Fez too. There had been only one man she was in love with then and that was Steven Hyde. She'd tried making him understand when she explained wanting a pet rat just because Georgina had one. The thing with Annette was more about being one-upped by the blonde bimbo from California, it was her pride that made her yell "Get off my boyfriend!" More of a reflex than anything. She didn't want Michael back, but seeing him get over her so quickly reinforced her own insecurities of how easily replaceable she was.

Every door left unopened

While I just stared through the crack

If he'd questioned it before, he knew now that this song had to be about them. It was the perfect analogy for the way he'd been with Jackie. It had taken him a little over two years to figure it out, but he knew his Zen had ruined their relationship. While Jackie had been the heart-on-your-sleeve-open-book type girl, he was a cracked door. Allowing her only glimpses of the true emotions he felt for her. He'd wanted to open wide, show her everything in him, but when he finally felt brave enough to try, all he could see was Kelso in a towel talking about "doing it" and the door slammed shut and the locks bolted tight. Now, traveling down the highway, white knuckling the steering wheel, he wished he'd done it anyway. Because now he had a son he didn't know and a woman that he could now admit he was desperately in love with but who probably hated him. And rightfully so.

Don't know where this is going

And that's where I'm at.

And that's just the way it is

And that's just the way it is

And that was just the way it was. Jackie was living her life one day at a time now. Her parents, Michael, Steven - they all taught her that planning your life around others, hanging your hopes on love…it was a bad idea.

I don't want your this... No

I don't want your that... No

I'm moving to Manhattan

and I'm never looking back

Never looking back never looking

When she first left, Hyde had thought this was another of Jackie's stunts for attention. Like the first time she'd claimed to move to Chicago. Everyone knew she didn't have a job and searching for one had been hell for her. He recalled now how he thought she was probably hiding out at the mansion because of her stomach flu or whatever it was that caused her to run out of the basement puking her guts out a few days before. Of course, it all made sense to him now: she was pregnant. And no, she didn't plan on ever coming back.

I don't want your things... No

Don't care what you think... No

At the very beginning of their relationship, she'd wanted gifts and shiny things. But, over time she learned to appreciate the less material things in life. Of course, every now and then he'd give her something and when they first broke up, she held on to those trinkets as evidence that Steven had once loved her. But, the more she saw him and Sam pawing at each other and could hear their sexual grunts from the room she once shared with him, the more the value of those things were cheapened until they felt like every other gift she'd ever received: bought silence.

I'm moving to Manhattan

And I'm never looking back

Never looking back

Every interaction she observed between Sam and Steven made her question what she and Steven had shared. Every kiss, every hug, every glance across the room, every lust filled gaze made her wonder. Was he acting with Sam or was the act with her? The fact that he'd chosen Sam, he'd stayed with Sam, caused her to lean toward the latter. Steven Hyde had never loved her and that was why she could never look back. There was nothing there to even look at.

Gonna hop on the next plane

And just see where it goes

Gonna empty my closet

Gonna throw out my clothes

I've got 200 dollars, a guitar and a coat

Yeah I hear it gets cold there

But I'm already froze

Hyde knew what it meant to feel frozen inside. He'd spent much of his young life feeling just that way. Being repeatedly abandoned by Bud and Edna had made his heart stony. But then he fell in love with Jackie and he began to feel all warm and fuzzy inside and he'd never felt like that and it scared him. All his life he'd been told he didn't deserve to have such joy, having stolen his mother's career from her and consequently ruined his step-father's life, it wasn't in the cards for him to have his own joy, not when he'd taken so much from others. That's why he always felt that at any moment it would be snatched from him. But, when he made that drive to Chicago he'd finally felt like maybe...just maybe he did deserve that happiness, deserved it with her. But when he saw her in that hotel room, with Kelso wearing nothing but a towel the cold reality came crashing down. Steven Hyde, Point Place's white trash, didn't deserve this happiness and here it was right here, proof that no one loved him, not even the one person he'd finally trusted always would.

I don't want your this... No

I don't want your that... No

I'm moving to Manhattan

and I'm never looking back

Never looking back never looking

I don't want your things... No

Don't care what you think... No

I'm moving to Manhattan

And I'm never looking back

Never looking back

Never looking back

Never looking back

In her first few months in Manhattan, "Never look back" had become Jackie's new mantra. But, try as she might to follow it, her mind always drifted to her beloved basement memories, back to when everything was good. She began to repeat the command everyday "Never look back" and for two years it worked. That is, until Chuck called to tell her that WB was strong-arming her into letting Steven meet his son, letting him into her life. Looking back.

I've learned to take it all in stride

Taking it all in stride was something Hyde had begged Jackie to do when they were together. He'd wanted her to stop pushing and planning for the future, but the future had come anyway and like he'd feared, he wasn't prepared.

To see the world with my own eyes
I've learned to trust the other side
Other side other side

She hadn't learned to trust a damned thing, but like her command to never look back, it was something she aspired to, if only for her son's sake.

I don't want your this

I don't want your that

I'm moving to Manhattan

and I'm never looking back

Never looking back never looking

I don't want your things... No

Don't care what you think... No

I'm moving to Manhattan

And I'm never looking back

Never looking back

I don't want your things

I don't care what you think

I'm moving to Manhattan

I'm moving to Manhattan

I don't care what you think

I don't care what you think

Hyde knew that was part of his problem, he'd always cared too much what his friends would think of him if he openly showed his feelings for Jackie. Whenever he showed her any kind of emotion in front of them, he was teased. When Eric was leaving Donna for Africa it was serious. No one would've dared laugh at Donna's pain. But when Jackie left for Chicago, even as he was making the choice to follow her, to give her his answer, they were still mocking him. And he'd be a liar if he said it didn't get to him, that it wasn't their derisive laughter he heard when Kelso appeared in that towel. Edna's prediction at prom had finally come to fruition - "they're all gonna laugh at you!" She was right. But as Point Place shrank in his rear-view mirror, he decided he no longer cared what they thought.

Jackie's walk down memory lane was interrupted by her ringing phone.

"Waldorf-Burkhart residence" she answered.

"Jackie, it's Chuck." came the smarmy drawl through the telephone line. It wasn't that she disliked Chuck, it was his cocky self-assurance and the horrible things he'd done to her cousin that sometimes made her hate him. If she were honest though, she was really angry that despite all the bad things he'd done, he saw the error in his ways and had actually worked to win her cousin's love back. It hurt that no one would ever love her that much. She'd always been the one doing the fighting for her relationships and she usually lost.

"To what do I owe the pleasure?" she asked lazily, pretty sure she didn't have to go into the studio today and they weren't scheduled to film their next music video until next week, after which they'd go on tour.

"Just thought you might be interested in knowing we hired Hyde as an extra crew member for the road."

"What!" Jackie yelled, unable to hide the shock in her voice. She knew he was coming, but she hadn't planned on him staying. "Why the hell would you do that?" Her anger was barely contained.

"Because, William Barnett is a well known man in the music industry. He has the ability to blackball us with all the major radio stations. Your career would be over before it even began. This is the only solution if you don't want a custody battle Jackie. He can be around and it won't interrupt your career." Chuck said exasperatedly. He waited for Jackie's response. When all he got was her ragged breathing on the line, he continued "Just thought I'd give you a heads up is all."

"Well consider me notified. Now, if you don't mind, I have a child so my free time is minimal. Is that all?" She responded coldly and Chuck could suddenly tell how she and Blair were related.

"We're good" and with that Chuck hung up the phone. Jackie was just about to call WB and give him a piece of her mind when her son turned over, opened his crystal clear baby blue eyes and began to cry. She reached over to pick him up, laying him down on her chest as she stroked his dark curls.

"Did mama's baby have a bad dream?" she asked him as she continued to stroke his hair and rub his back while he dozed off to sleep again. All thoughts of her anger at WB drifted from her mind as she thought about her child's father for about the billionth time since she'd found out he was headed toward Manhattan.

Whoever said time heals all wounds had obviously never had their heart broken. Because that wound was still fresh and aching and only made worse by the fact that she hadn't seen Steven but she held and touched and loved a part of him every day - their son, Alexander James Hyde.

Hyde had driven for fifteen hours straight but at 10 pm he finally arrived in Manhattan's Upper East Side. Pulling into the parking deck of Bass Industries, Hyde did something he'd never done before. He prayed. Having listened to "The Bad" and "The Ugly," he realized for the first time that he had damaged Jackie much more than he'd originally thought. Something he'd always loved about her was her childlike innocence. It was one of the reasons that during her 'stalking' phase he never wanted to get with her. Her room was pink and filled with rainbows and unicorns. He, on the other hand, had lost his innocence years ago. Dating her would have been the equivalent to telling a kid there's no Santa Claus. He couldn't do that to her. But in the end, he'd done it anyway and like he had been, she was frozen now.

A limo pulled up and a young man around his age wearing a suit with a purple bowtie exited. "I'm…Chuck Bass." he reached his hand out to Hyde.

"Hyde." he shook the guy's hand.

"Ok, I'm gonna cut straight to the chase." Chuck drawled out "she knows you're here and she won't respond well to your presence."

"I guessed as much" Hyde replied sarcastically.

"Well we're going to have to handle this thing carefully. If this doesn't go well I have no doubt your father will go through with his threats." Chuck's jaw tensed "Now don't get me wrong, Chuck Bass is afraid of nothing, but…" he looked at Hyde "I recognized a little of myself in Mr. Barnett and the legal battle alone would take years and well…time is money."

Hyde wondered briefly what this Chuck guy was talking about. When he'd spoken with WB, there'd been no mention of a legal battle, just that Jackie's manager had agreed to allow him to accompany them. He didn't want Jackie to feel like he was trying to take anything from her, he just wanted to be included. Brushing the matter off in his excitement to finally meet his child and see Jackie again, he responded. "Whatever, just tell me how we're gonna do this."

I'm moving to Manhattan

And I'm never looking back

Never looking back again…

A/N - So, admittedly I hit the eggnog pretty hard while writing this. Hopefully this chapter is just as good in the sober light of day. I'm sorry it's super long, and I guarantee, it'll be the only chapter in this story that is this long. It's probably a little sadder and introspective than I plan most chapters to be as well, but I needed it to get me to the next part of the story and to give you a clue as to each person's motivations. Plus, you can't really address season 8 w/out at least a minimal amount of angst. Also, don't worry, the rest of the gang will appear again soon in the story. And finally, I've worked out a schedule so that I can work on this story and American Girl at the same time. The others will take a brief hiatus until this story is finished. The song is "Manhattan" by Mozella. Check her out. I love her songs. I'm using 2 more of her songs in this story, they're so awesome!