Disclaimer- I don't own anything but the plot. Actually, now that you mention it, that might not be mine?

Tell me goodbye - Big Bang

Still thinking about this thing alot
you got me shaken up

364 days later, he was lying in his room, waiting for tears that wouldn't come anymore. The ring sat neat and polished on the bedside table, a cold reminder of what could have been. Nothing about his feelings for her had changed. Every time the radio played a song they both liked, he called for her to listen. When he stepped into their old haunt, a greeting had already jumped from his lips. She was never there, didn't know, couldn't reply.

Half hearted attempts to forget her dotted the first month. He had tried going out, the alcohol tasted like that reception, where he first tried to drink away reality. He couldn't stop comparing other women to her. His friends were her friends too. So the drinks went untouched, the women ignored and his friends left in favour of sleep, where he could pretend everything had gone perfectly. Only to wake to a bitter morning snared in sheets.

The dreams hurt. They whispered sweet, empty words into his consciousness, of what could have happened if only he confessed. If she didn't only she didn't take Their Best Friend's hand. If only he had her first. He was tempted to just end it all, end all the if only's. But he knew she wouldn't be happy. He would be breaking is silent promise to keep her happy and removing himself would make her sad. Or maybe it would hurt him too much, and he was just using that promise as a selfish excuse to stay close.

The phone rang, cutting through his musings with its piercing sharp sound. He picked up, relieved at this distraction from his endless thoughts. It was her, inviting him over for lunch. The sound of her voice lifted the shards of his spirits and he had to bite his lip to keep his thoughts from flying out. Long after the conversation ended, he stood there replaying every second. The familiar lilt of her voice stirred up worn memories of their time together. But those days were over.

Girl I swear I won't even for a second
cause you any pain
in order to protect you

Meeting them was like drinking sweet poison. A poison which seemed to get sweeter and deadlier each time. But he had to keep visiting them. E craved the sweetness of time with her, the suffocating, sharp pain in his chest was almost welcomed if it came with a fresh moment with her. A new memory for when he had nothing else.

Being in their home, he tried to keep the biting misery he felt hidden inside. Their home was warm and cheery with sunlight pouring onto the plush furniture. He always felt that their home was just like their marriage. Idyllic. Perfect. And he just didn't belong. But they were eternally kind and welcoming, of course. Like things could almost be the same as before, but they couldn't.

Her Husband left soon after lunch with a quick peck on her cheek and a cheery wave. He watched the distant look in her blue, blue eyes. He noticed the slight crease between her brows, the tiniest twitch of her mouth. The words came out, a question his heart couldn't handle.

"Is everything okay between you...?"

She quickly smiled at him and assured that everything was fine. He knew her too well to believe it.

They sat together on the couch, a movie playing and a bowl of popcorn between them. Once upon a time, they would have sat so close; they only needed a one seater. Every beat of her heart echoed by his own. The phone rang. Her Husband's voice blared out of the machine, something about being home tomorrow. He heard the hushed giggling of a woman in the background. Her eyes glazed and focused on the bright screen. The pain in his heart aches a little more at her blank expression and he absently played with the gold ring her kept as a reminder. Her sadness was infectious, tinged with bitter hope.

"I'm sure it's nothing." She murmured, doubt colouring her soft voice.

It had to be nothing. That Guy had the most amazing girl by his side. The thought fluttered out as buttered popcorn was thrown in. Her head whipped towards him, eyes scanning his. He froze, the ring sliding between his suddenly numb fingers onto the floor. The faint clink distracted her into picking up the glittering object with her delicate hands.

She complimented it, admiring the sparkle as she slipped it on. He quietly congratulated himself on the size and style, imagining for just a moment that she proudly wore the ring every day.

"Who is it for?" the silvered notes of her voice slid through his thoughts, calling him back to reality.

You. Whispered through his gaze and screamed in his mind.

But he couldn't burden her with his problems. She was happy in this new life. She was happy with His Best Friend. He shook his head, shaking out the images, the thoughts which would ruin their friendship.

The ring was placed back in his hand, still warm from hers.

"For My Heart." Who would never accept it.

Those words, and even the light
I will lose sight of everything else

They went out for dinner, just the two of them. She wore her old 'Roxy, Destiny Islands' t-shirt like old times. He pretended to be annoyed while he was privately glad she kept it, despite the bright colours long faded into muted pastels. It felt like before, when it was just the two of them. And he could taste the words which were never to be spoken, like old times. Those feather light words which lay crushed under his feelings.

The small Chinese restaurant was crowded, noisy with chattering adults and clacking dishes. He couldn't help but feel the tiniest bit proud when they got a table for two, felt the approving glances. They could have been a couple, smiling like that. He even risked feeding her a bite of fish, a chunk of pineapple was received in return.

Their time together ended far too quickly for him. A passing blur of colour and noise where the only constant thing was her. Her faint perfume, her gentle voice, her image, her delicate touch. Then he stood outside her door, feeling like a boy on his first date. But she wasn't his, she would never be his.

He accepted the invitation inside and borrowed some of Her Husband's clothes for the night. He heard her replay the only message on the answering machine, the one from earlier, and he felt the weather was letting it all out for her.

When the second rumble of thunder passed, she was curled up against him, shielded in his arms. He silently allowed her to seek comfort from him, enjoying the time even if he was just a substitute. The third lead to them going to bed, cuddling up like the couple they weren't. She relaxed quickly in his arms, letting him drift off into one of him imaginings.

"I love you." His dream self whispered in her ear. "More than anything. You are my Heart."

It's strange, but the lyrics of the song have about nothing to do with the plot. Oh well, I'd like to pretend that I got the feel of it.

So much for a happy ending huh? Trust me when I say that I spent months agonising over this. There is another paragraph here but it didn't quite fit. That happy ending wouldn't come! good thing it leaves room for another chapter! Eh, but eventually this will be a proper chapter fic. And it's really hard to keep writing in this style, it's just so angsty? Maybe it's just me having problems writing happy things.

I swear, it seems so much longer written out by hand. And yeah, I'm that type of writer. It's unnerving to look at the little word/page counter!

THANK YOU SO MUCH TO Handwritten (so much for stalking -_-) and Anon (is it strange of me to say that you made my birthday?) FOR REVIEWING! AND LaLuuna, Merialle and Handwritten FOR FAVOURITING!

Scribbles I No, Roxas didn't end up with Namine, he played the piano at her wedding. The plot is basically the same as the music video for Taeyang's Wedding Dress.

Many Thanks to You too for reading this! I really hope you like it, here's hoping for a happy ending! Or anything really, it's been so long~