It's been 3 years, or there about, since I even thought about dabbling in fan fiction, but then Degrassi was on MTV, and I fell in love with Clare & Eli, and I heard this song on my iPod this morning and well…this is what we end up with. I'm not sure how good it is, I'll let you guys decide that. Lol It's kinda rushed. My brother has a football game tonight and I need to go get ready, but I wanted to give you guys something to enjoy. So, here it is.

Jen

I sat in my room at my grandma's house listening to my iPod. If only what Jordin Sparks was singing was true. Eli would be so much easier to get over if he had only caused a paper cut on my heart. No…last semester, the fight with Fitz, Vegas Night…my heart was suffering much more than the temporary burning and stinging of a small paper cut. It was bleeding and nothing would stop the pain.

How could he not understand my anger, this pain? Of all people I thought he would get why I'm acting the way I am. Does he not realize how much I need him in my life? What was I suppose to do if Fitz had actually…my mind wouldn't even finish that thought.

BUZZ! BUZZ!

There goes my phone again. He's been calling every day, at the same time, since break started. As badly as I want to hear his voice, I can't bring myself to answer the phone. I just need to be mad at him. He needs to realize that he hurt me.

I can't trust him. First Julia, then the whole thing with Fitz. He doesn't talk to me. If he's having problems, he should talk to me. I'm his girlfriend, or at least I think I still am. I know I still want to be. I just have to figure out a way to get through all of this.

If only it was that easy. Sure the Tin Man didn't have a heart, so obviously it couldn't break, but he also didn't have a heart to love

Wait?

LOVE?

Eli?

I can't possibly love Eli! I haven't known him long enough. I don't even know where this "relationship" stands.

If I don't love him, then why does this hurt a thousand times worse than when KC cheated on me with Jenna? Why, when Fitz had that knife drawn and pointed at Eli, did I feel like I was dying too?

"because you love him" a small voice inside my head whispered.

sometimes I wish that we've never met cause I was fine 'til you broke through

Life was finally good before Eli. I was over KC, becoming this new, better version of myself and then Eli literally drove into my life with those piercing green eyes, that smirk, and an attitude that was dangerously sweet. I swore to myself though, after everything with KC, I would never let myself fall so hard for a guy again. But Eli was different, a kind of different that I wanted to know more about every day. He was like my favorite puzzle that I couldn't ever quite figure out, but the challenge, the challenge was worth the reward of a completed picture in the end.

I don't know if we're going to ever be able to go back to what we were, or at least what we were becoming. I don't know how I can be with someone like that. All I know is that I can't stop thinking about him. Somehow, I know that this is just a test, something we have to go through. In the end, this one even will make our relationship stronger, not break us apart.

it was only a paper cut

Love is never simple and just admitting that I loved Eli wasn't going to instantly solve any of our problems, but, what if that was a start?

What if from this point on it was nothing but the truth? Complete honesty from both of us?

BUZZ! BUZZ!

I yank Eli's headphones off my head, letting them settle around my neck. I reach for my phone. Eli's face flashing up at me.

It's now or never.

"Hello?"

I know, you guys probably hate me, but I thought the open ending was great. I'm trying to decide if I want to do a second part from Eli's POV or just leave it as is. Right now I'm having trouble finding a song that goes along with this one that could be something Eli would listen to. Suggestions are more than welcome, all you have to do is review