Forlorn Words

A/N: Hey everyone! This is my new story, Forlorn Words. I've always wanted to write a self-insert, but I didn't know which series to insert into. Also, there isn't a lot of ToA self-inserts, so I wanted to try writing one. Hope it turns out well! :)

To all those who have read my other stories and want to know if I'm updating or not, look on my profile page because I just updated. I will (for the most part) continue my other stories unless I feel that I simply cannot write it anymore because of major, major writers block.

Note: To those who want to give my new story a try, please do, but I thought I'd give a little warning first. Unlike most self-inserts, that are mostly humour stories, but my story is more serious (as noted by the angst genre), but most of angst parts probably won't be until much later. Of course there will be a few humorous scenes to lighten the mood as well. :D Hope you enjoy Forlorn Words! No flames please, but criticism is welcomed.

Disclaimer: I sadly do not own this marvellous game known as Tales of the Abyss. :(

Chapter One: Choices

Sometimes in life, you are given choices: tough choices, easy choices; choices in which it will change everything you had ever thought of about life. Everyone is given a choice, though some people will consider the choices carefully, while others will waste no time following down a path blindly just because.

And I was one of those people.

I was like a lifeless puppet. I had bought back straight A's, cook, clean, and smile like everything was perfect. I had never thought about rebelling before or even voicing my opinions. I didn't want anyone to hate me so that was why I had never shown anyone the real me. Actually, I wasn't one hundred percent sure what the real me was really like. Essentially, I tried to be someone whom everyone could be satisfied with: kind, caring, hardworking, smart, and a complete and total sweetheart.

Basically a fake.

But life was easy that way. Although I couldn't help but feel distanced from those I called my friends and family. I couldn't help but feel… empty. I never shown them what kind of person I truly was, call me a coward if you will, but that was how it had always been. That's how I'd always been.

Lonely.

So, so lonely…

That was why, on that night, I walked down a foreign path for the first time. I had never thought much of it passed only after a few hours, everything will be back to the way it had always been, but that wasn't the case.

Who knew taking one simple step in a different direction could change everything drastically. Change how I view this world and other worlds, the people around me, and most of all, myself.

"Hey! You came!"

I swiftly turned my head to the owner of the voice, having only faintly heard her voice over the loud beating of the music. A pretty, blonde girl came over tumbling slightly, drunk. I quickly put on my best smile and waved.

"Yeah, awesome party by the way," I said, tucking a piece of my long, dark brown locks behind my ear sheepishly.

She giggled, "Though I didn't expect you to show. You didn't seem like the type who'd like to party."

She was right; I wasn't a partier. This was actually my first party, but there was no way I was telling her that. "Oh, really? Actually, I love to party! It's a great way to relax from all that studying, you know?"

"Oh… I see," she nodded, completely buying my lie.

"Then you should come more often," a guy spoke, wrapping his arms around the blonde, and started kissing her. Biting my tongue, I tried not to turn away in absolute disgust. Suddenly, he looked up at me, curious. "Hmm, how come you're still sober?"

"Same could be said to you," I answered innocently, changing the topic.

The girl giggled, "He's the world's best drinker. Hee hee…"

"I can hold my own pretty well, too."

Actually, I had the worst alcohol tolerance, but once again, they didn't need to know that. After all, what was one more fib going to do? It wasn't that hard for me to tell a lie with a straight face, since I had been lying all my life. I was the good girl, pure and honest to the core to the eyes of everyone whom I had ever met. So, having said that, you may be wondering what such a person, even a fake, was doing in a party full of teenage boys, alcohol, and no rules?

Well, to put it simply, I was sick of it. Everything.

Just a couple of hours ago, I came home from school, only to have my parents waiting for me with a disapproving look. As I found out later, one of my teachers had called to inform them that I recently failed my test. I mean, I was extremely shocked as well. I, who had always excelled academically, failed a test. I was really hoping that they wouldn't find out, but apparently, my teacher thought that they should know. This led to a huge argument between the three of us for the first time. My parents were enraged, and so was I. Eventually, I stormed out of the house. That was when I remembered about the party, and without a second thought, I headed straight over to drink my problems away.

Now here I was, feeling like an outsider. I drank a little to my utter distaste. I mean, really, alcohol was disgusting! It took everything I had not to regurgitate it back up.

"Here, have some more." The girl tossed me a bottle of beer to my dismay. She took out the one she was currently drinking and took in a huge mouthful. When I didn't start drinking alongside her, she motioned her hand to the bottle in mine, and to my horror, my body compelled. I drank and drank and drank until the bottle was completely cleaned of any liquid.

Bad move on my part.

The moment my lips were free from the glass container, it felt like my head got shot by a rubber bullet. I gasped and accidentally dropped the bottle, shattering it, but that was the least on my mind. My head ached to the point where I couldn't even stand. The couple didn't even notice me, as they once again began making out, this time a little more aggressively.

"Bathroom…" I muttered, getting up, wobbling to the stairs and towards the bathroom on the upper level. About twenty minutes later, I was cleared of everything I ate today.

"Stupid, stupid! I just had to drink the whole thing! Now if only I could find some aspirin…"

Not another second had passed before a wave of nausea hit me. I staggered a bit, clinging to the wall for support as I made my way over to the corner to rest, but before I could reach my destination, I suddenly felt myself falling over to the side, through a door not yet fully closed.

"Whoa! Are you okay?" A male voice suddenly made his way over to my side. "You look awful, maybe I should—Milee?"

At the sound of my name, I looked up. "You! What are you doing here?"

Of all the people I just had to run into, it just had to be him. He was a couple years younger than me, but we were in the same band together. My music teacher had always been telling us to be a good role model for the younger students. If she hears about me being here… I couldn't help but shutter. I pray he'll keep his mouth shut.

"Um… I live here… but more importantly, what are you doing here? Please don't tell me you're here for my sister's crazy party." I could tell he wasn't too pleased with the current events in his home.

"Well, you see…" I paused. What was I going to say? I kind of ran away, drank until half my brain cells were destroyed, and now I just want to curl up into a corner and die? Pfft, no! That would ruin my image! "It's just that—"

I was interrupted when I felt a sudden headache coming. I started to curl into a fetal position, rocking slightly back and forth. "Water…" I moaned softly.

I didn't expect him to hear that, but he bolted out the door as he yelled, "We'll talk later; don't die on me, Milee!"

Easier said than done.

As I waited for him to return, I tried to calm down but all I could hear was the blasting of the music downstairs, and people's voices yelling at each other. I sighed and started scanning the room.

It was messy to say the least. Clothes and food were everywhere, and on the walls were posters and displays of certificates and awards he had won in the past. Finally, my eyes landed on the television screen. In the middle of the screen was the word "Pause", and the background showed some kind of ship, flying things, and a bit of red.

Hmm… Why does that look so familiar to me? I noticed from the PS2 that it was some kind of game. Usually, I see my brother playing games since he always glues himself to his game consoles. I tried to think of the possibilities of what game that might be.

Let's see; ship, flying monsters—I presume, and red… ship, flying monsters, red—"Luke! Tales of the Abyss! Duh!" I would have hit myself in the head, but it seemed my poor head already had enough abuse for the night. I found it kind of ironic that it just so happens to be the only game I had ever played in my life. "Looks like they're on the Tartarus when the God-Generals attacked… Huh? Wait a sec—what's that?"

I never really noticed it before until now. Actually, I wasn't even sure it was there in the first place. There was a speck of white on top of the Tartarus, and no, it wasn't the clouds. It almost looked like a person. No, that wasn't possible but…

I signed, gathering what was left of my strength and crawled towards the television screen to get a better look. Soon, my face was against the screen. My eyes widened. I was right! It was a person. A woman with long, white hair from what I could tell. But there wasn't any female with long white hair in Tales of the Abyss, right? I looked over to her once more.

"That's so weird," I spoke under my breath.

"And it's about to get even weirder," a familiar female voice answered.

I reacted violently to the sound of the voice, and started choking on some of my own saliva. The woman in the screen was looking back at me, smirking. Without a second thought, a strong wave of nausea hit me, and my head started spinning once more. The last thing I heard before I blacked out was the sound of my name being called.

A/N: Yes, if you're wondering, the name is pronounced as Milly (just thought it looked better as Milee because Milly is just too common). So that's chapter one (or a prologue if you like). And yes, I know, she's being a bit emo there, but she gets better (eventually…).

Please review! I would really like to know what you think so far! It'll only take about a minute. :P Next chapter will be updated soon, I hope…