Hate Sex and Two Weeks Suspension

"Can you lie next to her and give her your heart, your heart, as well as your body? Can you lie to next to her and confess your love, your love, as well as your folly?"

Morgan

Last night...he runs those two words through his head, trying to find a suitable ending. Shouldn't have happened? Needs to happen again? Was a mistake? Was the best choice they'd ever made? He tightens his grip on the steering wheel, but his mind wanders. Two weeks. If he's lucky. If he isn't fired. He thinks about what happened.

'"Derek Morgan! My office. Now!" The entire BAU flinched. Except Reid. Reid fell off of his chair. Morgan ducked for cover. "Where the hell-" "You mean what the hell," Prentiss corrected, trying to calm herself. "You'd better go before she starts breathing fire," Rossi warned. "Is it safe?" Reid asked, getting up from the ground. JJ looked at Reid. "Why were you on the ground?" He blushed. "Well, I-" Hotch stepped up behind Morgan. "You know what this is about, don't you?" His heart stopped. He'd tried forgetting... "I tried to help as much as possible. Tell her the truth," Hotch clapped him on the shoulder and walked away.

"This is the walk of shame," he muttered, trying to delay his walk to the ice queen's office. As he'd exited the bullpen, everyone had yelled their encouragements. Their memory did nothing to override the one memory he could never forget. Sooner than he would have liked, he'd arrived. He'd just raised a hand to knock when the door swung open. He jumped. Why? Strauss was at her desk. Derek considered the idea that she might be a witch instead of an ice queen. It would definitely explain her ability to raise someone's blood pressure in two minutes flat. Or the fact that the more time you spent alone with her the more likely you were to contemplate a murder-suicide. But...ice queen did explain her...fridigness. Yeah, she was a witch alright. A witch with a capital B. Morgan sighed and took a seat in the chair of shame in front of her desk. She surveyed him. Waiting for her to begin was the hardest part. "Liam Bryer. Thomas O'Callaghan. Ring a bell, SSA Morgan?" He swallowed. "Yes ma'am." She crossed her arms. "And why is that?" He clenched his jaw. "I think you know d-very well why," he forced out, adding, "Ma'am," at the last second. She raised an eyebrow in such a maddening fashion that Morgan wanted to jump across the table and-in. Out. Breath. "Of course I know why. I'd like to hear it from you. What happened on April 26, 2010?" Last week. He was surprised it'd taken her that long. "The team and I were in Jersey, working a case," he began, avoiding her eyes, "Bryer and O'Callaghan were attempting to escape the crime scene. Hotch and I chased them down into an alley, and-" Here he paused. His breathing quickened, and he fought to slow it back down. His hands, once folded in his lap, were now clenched at his sides. With some work, he unclenched them and gripped the edges of the seat. "And what, SSA Morgan?" Strauss demanded. She knew what he was going to say, so why didn't she just go out and say it her damn self? "And..Bryer and O'Callaghan pulled a gun. We didn't think..." "I don't have all day. Come out with it." He ground his teeth. "I shot them. Both." "Ah," she leans back, "And why in God's name would you do that?" Morgan stared at her for a moment. "I told you. They pulled guns-" "I understand that. But this is unacceptable." He remained silent. "You realize what my position forces me to do." He had to remind himself to breathe. He realized that he was shaking. "SSA Morgan-" "You know what? You're just a miserable bitch who enjoys watching others suffer! I'm not gonna apologize; this time it was us or them! You wouldn't know what that feels like, 'cause all you do is sit up here on your ass and order people around. You can tell me how to react when you gotta choose between your life and their's!" Breathing hard, Morgan forced himself to sit back down. But it was all over by then. Lips pressed together, she sat a moment. "Your gun and badge, please. Two weeks." He knew he had no other choice. With badly shaking hands, he laid them down on her desk. "You may go." She didn't look at him. As he reached the door, she called out, "SSA Morgan?" He paused; didn't respond. "I'll personally see that your suspension is permanent."

Garcia

It was very sexy, you know. It. Like revenge sex, only hotter. Hate sex, maybe. Not that I would know...I remember how it happened exactly. Penelope Garcia never forgets. Especially quote unquote 'sexual relations' with my chocolate teddy bear. It was time to go home, and I was trying to find the sexy man in question to see if he was up for some dancing and drinks later. Let me tell you, my baby stormed right by everyone. Including yours truly. "What's wrong?" Reid asked. Morgan pushed him roughly aside. Rossi put a hand on his shoulder. Betcha he regrets doing that now. Without even thinking, Morgan punched him in the face. The room went silent. "Okay...and this is why visits the the dungeon are limited to once every decade. Come on, let's go," I said, gently pushing him out of the bullpen. He whirled around to face me, and for one horrible moment I was afraid he would punch me as he had Rossi. Then the moment passed. He got lucky, 'cause I woulda gone ninjitsu on him. As much as I love him. And I do. He just seemed to deflate. I put my arm around his waist and told him I'd drive. He didn't answer. This had Strauss written all over it. Her ass was grass.

The drive had been silent on his part; my idle chatter did nothing. A first? Damn right. That's how I knew something was wrong. I drove to his place. I parked, we got out, and I relinquished the keys. His big bad SUV was too intense for me. He let us in and dropped to the couch. Clooney barked from outside. I sat so that our knees bumped. "Tell me what she did, Sugar." His silence was scaring the crap out of me. This is Derek Morgan; when the man's around me, his mouth don't stop runnin'. "Derek?" "I'm gonna lose my job." "What?" "The case we worked last week...the unsubs died. Because...because of me. I flipped on Strauss and I'm on suspension, but she's trying to make it permanent." "She's doing what?" No one was gonna fire my chocobunny. Especially not the top-floor ice queen. He looked at me. "Did you hear me? I shot them. I killed them, Garcia. But..I didn't mean to. I..they..I don't even know anymore." His eyes were desperate, wounded...vunerable. "I heard you, honey. I don't care what happened. But I'm not gonna let you get fired 'cause her highness up there's got issues. Got me?" I grabbed his hands, hoping to grab his attention, too. He looked away. "This thing...this is my life, Garcia. What am I gonna do?" His voice broke, and I wiped the tears from his eyes, feeling my own spill over. As I hugged him to me, I thought. Here was Derek Morgan, the hardass with a heart, crying into my shoulder. Worried about his future, about his job, because Strauss was a miserable bitch with a complex. V no longer stood for vendetta. Now it stood for vengeance, revenge (yes sweetie, I KNOW it doesn't start with a v), and every other word that roughly translated to 'some good, old fashioned ass kicking'. "Garcia?" "Hmm?" "Thank you." "You're wel-" He kissed me. Hard. I paused. My body was thinking, 'hell no,' and my mind was thinking, 'oh hell YES!' Needless to say, I quickly responded. We broke. "I'm..sorry." He looked uncertain. "No, it's..it's fine." I was breathless. We stared at each other. Then his lips met mine again, this time desperate, feverish. He grabbed my hand and pulled me up, to him. Our bodies fit perfectly. His eyes asked permission. This was what I'd wanted...but.."Penelope?" "It's...okay. Yes."

Morgan

He isn't even watching the road. He's just driving. To God knows where, but he's driving. His mind whirls as he struggles to comprehend what happened last night. He'd been so desperate to hang onto his job, his life, that he'd breached a line he had never intended to cross. It'd been good; he wasn't going to lie. Hell, it'd been great. They'd fallen asleep in each other's arms. But when they'd woken up...that was when things had been broken beyond repair. They'd barely spoken; they could barely look at each other without feeling some sort of guilt and shame. He'd driven Garcia back to her apartment to change and drove her to work. He couldn't look at the building anymore then he could look at her. The thought of losing both was too much. Now, as he aimlessly drives the SUV around, he questions his life. What will he do is Strauss succeeds in taking his job at the BAU away from him? Sure, he was a cop. Sure, he could do it again. But he'd promised...something darts out in front of the car. Derek swerves, hard, to the right. The car skids off-road. There's no rail keeping him from plunging into the gorge. Franticly, he stomps on the break and bangs on the steering wheel to no avail. He knows he's going off the cliff. As the world outside flashes through the windows, he closes his eyes. He wishes he could talk to everyone again.

Garcia

Oh-kay. Can you spell awkward? Everyone asked what happened. I couldn't tell them because I don't even know myself. Not really. Strauss made it her business to announce his suspension, though. I skipped my morning coffee and just headed up to my office. I locked the door and sat back in my chair, spinning around in the silence. I'm someone who likes to avoid deep thought whenever possible, but I just couldn't overlook this one. Suddenly, my cell rang, almost sending me flying from the chair. I grabbed it. "Penelope?" No baby girl this time. He sounded...afraid? "What's w-" The question died on my lips just as the answer dawned on my brain. "Derek, if this is about last night-" "It...it's not." There it is. He still sounded broken. I wanted to help so badly. "Are you sure? Because it's-" "Garcia!" I flinched. My baby never raised his voice at me. "I'm sorry. What is it?" I tried again. "I need you. I..I don't know where I am. The SUV broke down..I need help." I switched on all of my computers and entered his vehicle number into the tracker. It beeped back a few seconds later. I whistled. "How'd you get all the way out there?" "You found it? Can..could you call me a tow? And could you come with it?" Sound like the Derek Morgan I know, dammit! I'm gonna kick it out of Strauss later. "Of course sweetie. I'll do it right now. I'll call you back-" "No!" In that one word, he sounded so alone, so desperate, that I almost dropped the phone. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, keeping the tears at bay. She broke my teddy bear's spirit. "Okay. I won't hang up, honey." "Promise me? Promise you won't leave me?" That did it. "I promise. I'll have JJ call the tow for me."

Morgan

"Good," he says. He tries to remain as still as possible. He closes his eyes again and tries not to think of what lays below. One wrong move from him in the wrong direction, and the SUV plunges into the gorge below. Then BOOM. His life is over. Just like that. "Morgan?" "Yeah." "JJ called. It'll be here in a few minutes. I'll ride out with it, and then we'll come get you. Is that okay?" "Yeah. Just...just hurry, okay? I need to see you." She hesitates. "I need to see you, too." He nods, scared. He needs to think of something, anything other than the predicament he's gotten himself into. "How's work?" She sighs. "Same old hell. Miss you like crazy." He almost smiles. "Garcia, it's only been a day." "I know. I-okay. The truck's here. I'm comin' for you."

Garcia

I climbed into the cab of the truck. "Hold on, Derek," I said, cradling the phone against my shoulder. I handed him the paper. "Okay, here's where we're going. I will give you what I owe you plus an extra hundred if you disregard anything I say on this phone and don't judge me." He gave me a look. I wagged my finger at him. "I don't do phone with strangers." Now he just looked confused and slightly afraid. I have that effect on people. "Come on, let's move it!" He started the truck. I picked up the phone again. "Back." "Good." He sounded relieved. "We'll be there soon." "How soon?" Frantic. I turned to the driver. "How soon?" "Half hour." I repeated it. "Okay. Okay," he took a deep breath. "What's going on over there? Are you okay?" He laughed. Just a little. Garcia: 1. Strauss's evil clutches of doom: ...I'm just gonna leave that one alone. "Am I okay? No. No, I'm not. I need you here, Penelope." "Tow trucks only go but so fast, sweetheart. I promise we'll be there soon."

Morgan

The car had shifted on the ledge moments ago. His heart had been in his throat. Derek had almost cried in relief when it had steadied out. In a lull in their conversation, he considers what he hears in Garcia's voice, and what she must hear in his own. He hears concern, sadness, and fire. He knows he must sound...strange. Weak. Needy. He feels a flush of shame. He knows he isn't behaving like himself. And he knows why. "Derek? Can we..." Talk about last night? He's got no objection. He's not going anywhere. If he's lucky. "Okay," he says carefully. Neither know where to begin.

Garcia

Hmmm. Time to rip the bandage off. "Do you regret it?" Morgan didn't answer for awhile. "No..well.." I couldn't say I was surprised. Hell, I wasn't even sure if I regretted it yet. "You thinking it was a mistake?" He asked. I considered. Things had been...awkward. Okay, who was I kidding? Things had been downright freakin' weird. We couldn't even look at each other. "I...I'm thinking it was..interesting. Experimental, maybe. Like aliens abducting humans and impregnating them to see if their alien species will survive." I said. The driver pressed the brake suddenly, and I flew forward and then slammed back. Damn you, gravity. "What the hell?" I demanded. "Sorry," he muttered. "You should be. You just lost ten bucks." "Garcia, you're comparing sex to alien abductions? That's my girl." I smiled. He almost sounded like himself again. Almost.

Morgan

He half smiles. Only Penelope. Then he's painfully reminded of the drop. "Talk to me. About anything. Just-talk," Morgan pleads, trying to forget how close he is to death. He's trying to shake the feeling of despair that's seemed to have taken up permanent residence in his mind, body, and soul. He'll surface for a few moments at a time before it pulls him back under. He knows what he needs to solve this, but it's not an option. This, this phone call is the closest he'll get. "Okay...well..there was a new episode of NCIS: LA last week?" "Tell me about that," he begs. He knows Garcia is in love with Callen. Crazy in love. It borders on obsession. "Okay. Well once again, O'Donnell's crazy sexy abs stole the show. Literally." "He was shirtless?" "No. But I knew they were there. And then Reid kept arguing with me about the 'validity of the facts stated and how NCIS: LA is a total dramatization of the actual occurrences.' I was about to smack the boy." Morgan laughs. For real this time.

Garcia

Garcia: 2. Never underestimate the power of the sexy men in NCIS. Ever. Oh, and never argue with Penelope Garcia. I will smack you down. Justsoyouknow. "Garcia...look, I'm sorry. About..about everything. If you can forgive me-" "Oh, sweetie, it's okay. There's nothing to forgive. We're adults...and Hotch is calling," I groaned. "You did tell him you were leaving, right?" He asked. "Uhh.." "Take it. I don't want you to lose your job." An edge of panic. I ignored Hotch's call. "It's okay. He won't fire me. He loves me too much." Yeah right. Isn't he the one who threatened to have me drug tested? Multiple times? Yeah. "We'll see tomorrow when we..." He trailed off. "This is really killing you, isn't it?" I asked softly. "it's my life. I need this. You know why I can't lose this job? If I do..I lose you. You make the hell durable. You erase the images. You're the reason why I stay." I closed my eyes. "Oh, Morgan."

Morgan

He doesn't even bother to conceal his emotions anymore; he's almost positive there's no way he'll walk away from this. "We're here-Derek!" She gasps, "Why didn't you...why didn't you tell me?" The tow is a few yards behind him. "I didn't want you to worry," he whispers, voice husky with unshed tears. The SUV hangs onto the ground with it's two back wheels as the front of the car dangles from the cliff. It's a miracle that he hasn't taken the plunge yet. "I..." Garcia is at a loss for words. Derek wipes at his eyes. "Penelope?" "Y-yes?" Her voice wavers. "I just wanted to see you one last time-" "Don't talk like that," she orders, voice low and dangerous, "We're going to get you out. Aren't we?" She's asking the driver. "...not sure I can. Looks impossible-" he hears. The sound grows muffled, but he hears Garcia swearing and slapping him in rage. He smiles. For real. It may as well be his last.

Garcia

The driver said he'd try. Damn right. You'll find that people are very easily persuaded when you speak to them with your fists. I wanted to run to Derek, hug him tight, and never let go again. But I couldn't. So I didn't. Instead, I got out of the car and watched the tow creep towards the SUV. "He's gonna try," I said quietly. "Okay," he barely whispered. "It's going to be fine," I added. "Garcia..I want to tell you something." I almost roll my eyes. "And this is the part where he tells the heroine that he's madly in love with her and always will be, and then di-Never mind." Wrong place, wrong time. My mouth has a mind of its own. I watched as the driver got out and chained the SUV up. "Go ahead," I told him, wanting to look away but finding myself incapable.

Morgan

The words seem stuck. He knows he'll have to say them now, or she'll never know. Garcia gasps. "Morgan! Close your eyes." He does. And in that moment, he feels such an intense love for her that all of his earlier inhibitions vanish. He has no doubt in his mind that he loves her. And that knowledge makes him strong. He knows he can face anything now that he knows. "Penelope Garcia...I love you," he says. The car plunges forward. She screams.

Garcia

I was numb. Absolutely numb. The SUV disappeared. "Morgan?" I murmured into the phone. He didn't answer. I closed my eyes, knowing he was gone. My heart froze painfully in my chest, and I sunk to my knees, afraid I'd fall otherwise. There were no words. The sounds I heard were terribly discordant, and I was tempted to cover my ears. There was a loud bang, and my eyes flew open, thinking that the driver had gone over as well. But I was wrong.

Morgan

He opens his eyes. He doesn't understand. It had been over. The car had taken the plunge. Yet here he is. And here comes Garcia, running, crying, towards him. It's the sweetest sight he's ever seen. She pulls open the door and pulls him into her arms. "You thinkin' of going Thelma and Louise on me? 'Cause you know I'll kill you if you go off that cliff alone!" she sobs. He hugs her fiercely, never wanting to let go. They sink to the ground, and he kisses her, tenderly. She buries her head in his chest. He can face whatever the future will bring. "I love you too, Derek Morgan," she murmurs into the cell. The phone drops to the ground. And finally, the line goes dead.