Hello everyone,

I am not dead! Haha nor do I hate you! I've just been a bit waylaid from finishing Blue Guitar by other ideas that attacked me during summer holidays. I'm currently working on what was meant to be a one shot but has so far turned into a 50 page monstrosity...haha so hopefully that will be finished soon and I can finally finish up Blue Guitar.

If you didn't notice in the summary, this story is presenting Inuyasha's side of the story from "Just To Watch You Be Seen" with a little bit added to the end. It's mostly reflective and I hope it's not too boring, but you can tell me if it is. Keep in mind that the tone of this story is very different, because his life has been very different. Kagome's story was based off a Nora Jones song, so it had a bit of a art deco feel to it. In contrast, this story is based off The Smiths Please Please Please Let Me, so try to imagine more of an impressionists view on life. If you want mental image of what I mean, look at La Promenade by Monet. Kind of wistful and romantic, you know?

Okay enough of my jabbering. I hope you enjoy this, please read and review.

~HoneyBee

Haven't had a dream in a long time
See, the life I've had
Could make a good man turn bad
So for once in my life
Let me get what I want
Lord knows it would be the first time

He still remembered the first time he saw her.

It wasn't at an expensive gala, or a business meeting, or even at one of the uptown clubs they both were known to frequent. No, it was in the unremarkable and ubiquitous Central Park, where all classes mingled together to enjoy the last green space in Manhattan, that he had first caught sight of Kagome.

Not that he had been there to enjoy the scenery. It just so happens that cutting down Poet's Walk was the fastest way to get between the two offices of his corporation, and on that particular rainy day when he was already running late, he had been willing to do whatever it took to cut down on commute time. With the collar turned up on his black jacket, he had his eyes fastened on a report held in his right hand while his left was tasked with holding the black umbrella over himself and the important documents.

He still wonders what would have happened if he had been watching where he was going. If he hadn't stepped in that enormous puddle, soaking himself to mid-calf and breaking his concentration, would he have ever noticed her at all?

The bad weather had emptied the pathway, for even the ever-present tourists had enough sense to retreat to one of the many museums rather than stay out in the rain. The vacant pathway gave her the liberty to wander about and she took full advantage of it, her pace was idle and zigzagging with her face tipped towards the trees. A clear dome umbrella was loosely supported on her left shoulder and her petite frame was well contained beneath it. Long black hair fell in a loose wave to the shoulders of a deep blue trench coat; the blue of a peacock.

He considered the name of the shade as she slowly approached him. Was it azure? Perhaps it was cobalt? How could hours of sessions on vocabulary with a private tutor on vocabulary be failing him? Moreover, why was this bothering him so much?

He had long given up on idle daydreaming behaviour. After his mother died and his brother had been responsible for his care, there had no more time for the fancies of youth. He had learned to be quick and calculating, while smooth and charming, to serve the ever-important end of getting further ahead in business.

Even the fact that he noticed the young woman was out of character for him. Since all of his relationships seem to end as disaster, with his heart in left in smouldering ruins, he had long given up on love. He doubted very much that in a world such as his, full of cold, conniving women with hard hearts and high ambitions, that there was any room for romance, let alone love.

He was more sensitive, as well as more astute, than people gave him credit for. His mother had told him this, and nurtured him to develop these traits. However he quickly learned from his brother that sensitivity would not help him to survive in his new world. The most important asset you could have in business was an imperturbable demeanour, and if that came at the expense of some of the reality of your personality, so be it. It was beneficial for people to have their perception of you, no matter how incorrect, as long as it attributed to you more power.

Inuyasha had certainly learned for himself that it was also a cruel bitch of a world out there and if you weren't careful, you were the one to pay the price. Sometimes it took every ounce of your pride, all your defiance, just to keep the inane smile on your face when you could hear the whispers of the room around you. The venomous lies from the gold plated tongues. It was enough to make him nauseous.

Normally he was too preoccupied with work and he didn't think about it. But sometimes, when he was alone, his skin would thin and the vividness of reality would seep in and surprise him. The depth at which he could experience the world if only he allowed himself gave him pause. And he would feel regret for all the hours he had to spend behind a shield, because although nothing of his true self could get out to be kicked and belittled by the people of his circle, very little of the real world could get in.

But here in the rain, alone, he watched the delicate bunch and shift in the fabric of her sapphire coat, listened to the soft clip of her heels on the asphalt, and did not worry if someone was watching him.

She was getting nearer to him and he felt torn. Her beauty pushed him to want to speak with her, to get her attention, and possibly her affection. However he was reluctant to end his solitary observation, or intrude on her private thoughts. While he was still debating, she became close enough to apparently feel the intensity of his stare as her gaze slid from the arching branches to meet his own.

Just when he felt he had exhausted the lexicon of possible shades of blue, he saw the blue of her eyes and was again at a loss. He wasn't sure what he had been expecting when she caught him staring, perhaps a slitted glare if his attention was unwanted or a coy glance if it was, but when she met his eye squarely, the corners only turned up to crinkle as her face relaxed into an easy smile.

After the polite interval passed, her attention moved back to her daydreams and her eyes became unfocused as she continued down the path. He did not turn to allow himself to continue staring at her, that was a touch too obvious, but the image of her remained as he looked at the vacant path.

Finally returning to himself from his reverie, Inuyasha realized not only was he now abysmally late for his meeting but his socks were soaked straight through to the bone. Shaking the loose raindrops from his jacket, he set his gaze forward and renewed his quick pace to the office.

He thought he would never see her again. That didn't mean he never thought about her again.

When he did see her again, her barely recognized her. From his impression of her in the park, he had assumed she was a trust-fund baby attending NYU, for he thought that a gaze as soft as hers could only be maintained by one whom never had to work hard. It had taken all his carefully maintained restraint not to let his jaw drop when she was seated on the opposite side of a conference room table, her cool cobalt eyes greeting him with professional courtesy.

She was only a young associate at Patterson's firm at the time. The entire meeting she probably only spoke a few words, and then it was only when called upon by the more senior member. Her intelligence was apparent anyways, whether it was from the neat twist of her dark hair or the confident tone of her voice, she seemed put together and proper.

He could not deny that part of him had felt disappointed. That afternoon in the rain, he had felt he had glimpsed a free spirit. A woman who was free to act as she pleased and was not held by professional codes or class expectation to behave properly. Now here he saw her in the boardroom, boxed up in a suit and as trapped as he was.

Her facade had thin cracks in it though, faint lines where her true nature would slide through. When a cocky partner would deign it her job to photocopy a signed contract, her eyebrow would twitch slightly and her mouth would tighten. When she was asked by a male colleague of equal rank to fetch the group coffee, her hands twitch in a reflexive fist and her breath would stall for a moment. His favourite moment was after that meeting, when he had happened to be exiting the building at the same time as the party of lawyers and she had rounded on her colleague to give him a piece of her mind.

He had always thought she was lovely, as most people who looked at her would objectively agree, but when her temper had sparked at her associate it was like it burned away the illusion and beneath she was raw and beautiful. Even the angry line of her mouth had been captivating, the tension in her slim hands as she gestured her point warranted focus of their own. He could not remember being more disappointed than when the young man had sheepishly apologized, and she had cooled back into the pristine mould.

The damage had been done. He doubted he could ever look at her in the same way again.

He was both pleased and horrified when she began appearing at the soirees that he was obligated to attend. Pleased, because it meant he got to see her relatively regularly and outside of the office, but horrified to think she would hear the rumours he knew were circulating about him.

She was a classic good girl, there was no doubt about that, and he knew that good girls did not date men with womanizing reputations like his. All of these rumours, these lies, because of a few mistakes he had made before he learned the lesson of never giving his heart away. It almost drove him to earn the designation as a scoundrel that he had been given, at least then he could understand why she was barred from him. However when he knew the falsity of the claims against him, he still had hope that she would see the truth.

It was that hope that had made him act the way he had at the Cancer Research Ball last Christmas. He could remember the way she illuminated the room in her golden gown. The dark tumble of curls that spilled across her shoulder just begged to be touched, to become tousled from his embrace. As soon as she entered, it was if the rest of the room, along with the women in it, had been disappeared and the only one there was her.

When she met his gaze over the rim of her martini glass, he felt his heart stop for an instant, struck by the hypnotizing cerulean hidden by the dark brush of her lashes. When he noted the mischievous, and dare he suggest seductive, tilt to her eyes his heart beat returned only to fall into palpitations.

They had danced the entire evening, with her never once looking bashful or hesitant when he knew she could hear the whispers circulating about them. He was sure she must have figured him out, for why else would a hardworking, well-respected woman like her want to sully her reputation by associating with him. She must have noticed how he never took those girls home. She was too smart not to have put together the truth that his womanizing reputation was all a constructed lie.

She was fearless when he pulled her closer, and though he was feeling certain that she would accompany him home if he asked her, she was seductive without being ostentatious about it.

There was no pretence in the way she laughed at his jokes, no deceit when she smiled easily and with leisure, and the slight awkwardness of her dancing made her feel all the more genuine. He was hesitant about bringing her to his home, considering that his past experience with nouveau riche girls had been far from spectacular. Their obsession with his wealth and fame was nauseating, and he wasn't sure his heart could take it if Kagome turned out to be the same.

He was literally stomped from his reverie when Kagome's heels came down hard on his toes by accident. Though she immediately began apologizing, Inuyasha felt he should be thanking her instead, for it had removed any thoughts he had that she was like the other girls Kagome was not a smooth, conniving girl that wished to wrap him and his wealth around her finger. She was a genuine girl who wanted him, and when she looked at him with those eyes, he felt like he was being seen for what he was for the first time in his whole life.

What had happened later that night was what Inuyasha suspected was the closest he would ever get to Nirvana. The passion that she possessed, and the ardour she drew out of him was astonishing. Nothing would ever sound as sweet as her gasps, nothing would ever taste as amazing as her kisses, and never would anything be as pleasurable as being within her.

And then she was gone the next morning.

It had taken every cubic centimetre of self-control he possessed not to go ballistic when he finally admitted to himself that she had left him. The note she had left was complimentary and kind, but it was far, far too little to quell the soul-sucking angst that was quickly consuming him. To say that he fell into a depressed state would be putting it kindly and he didn't like to remember those days, so he put them aside and focused on when he got to see her again.

That night was somehow both the worst and the best night of his life. Before arriving at the soiree he had vowed to himself that he was going to confront her about what had happened, and that he would have her again no matter what, just to get revenge for her having taken him in so completely. He would see what game she was playing, if only to satisfy his own masochistic curiosity for her motives.

He was surprised when he didn't hear any rumours circulating about them, aside from a few inaccurate speculations over who had left with him at the Christmas Ball. At least she hadn't been after him for the fame and to add to his reputation. He waited impatiently to catch sight of her as he danced his obligatory dances with the other upper crust ladies. When there was still no sign of her mid-way through the evening, he was starting to worry she was not going to show. Then the crowd seemed to part and there she was, leaning against a pillar with a martini in hand, peering at him over the rim of her drink.

He felt like a sniper that had just zeroed in on his target. She was going to be leaving there with him tonight; there was simply no two ways about it. He knew the instant she saw his intention to talk to her, saw how startled it made her, and when she knocked back the drink he knew if he didn't move fast she was going to be out the door before he could even talk to her.

Perhaps forcing her to stay by talking to her boss had been a cheap move, but he had been desperate to get her to talk to him and played the only card he had. He was determined that he would be spending the night with her.

And he had. He still couldn't believe it.

Not even now, the quote-unquote morning after, where he still lay in her soft bed, staring at her sleeping form in the warm morning sun. Her mop of dark hair was mussed and spilled haphazardly across the white of her bed linens. One tendril dangled too temptingly close to him, and he gave in and twisted it about his finger, enjoying its smooth texture.

He was close, so very close, to finally having what he had wanted for all these years. Gazing at her petite form, Inuyasha couldn't believe the sudden possessiveness that gripped him, compelling him to reach out and draw her closer to him. If there was one adjective he could give to Kagome, it was consuming. He wanted to have her, wanted to keep her, and never wanted to be parted from her.

He couldn't help but beg quietly, "Please, please, please let me get what I want."

Whether it was the small trip across her sheets or his soft entreaty that woke her, Inuyasha would never know. "...Inuyasha?" Kagome whispered, her voice soft and gravelly with sleep. She pushed herself up slightly off the pillow and drew the few strands of her hair that covered her face out of her eyes. It fell behind her back in a long sweep that descended into the tantalizing curve of her bare back.

"Mmm hmmm." He responded softly, smiling gently at the sleepy disorientation on her face. Lying on his side, Inuyasha reached out and slid his fingers along the smooth skin of her back in a gentle caress.

With a pleased smile Kagome settled herself back down on the pillow. He peered into her heavy lidded eyes that lay so near to his own. They were a light blue this morning, cornflower if he wasn't mistaken. Her delicate cheeks were flushed a warm, rosy hue and her lips were tipped in an enchanting smile. If he had even a wit of artistic talent, he would have expelled all of it to capture her in that moment.

She snuggled further into the pillow with a satisfied sigh. "I'm glad you're still here," she admitted softly, "I was...worried that you might have left."

Though he knew it would take awhile for her to truly accept the fact that every rumour she had heard about him since entering their circle had been a lie, the fact that it was still her default stance stung. "Is that so?" He said in an admittedly moody tone, turning his body to lay flat so he was staring at the ceiling instead of her captivating face.

He heard the sound of the bed linens shifting and felt her weight move closer to him. Her warmth against his side was a welcome distraction from the thoughts he had barely begun to brood about. Adding to the distraction was the scent of her hair that drifted up from where her head rested below his chin, and the gentle tease of her fingers along his bare chest.

"Don't be like that," Kagome softly chided him, shaking her head slightly, "I couldn't be happier that you did stay. There might have been some...lingering concern that you were just after me for revenge or something, but I know better now. Are you busy today or are you planning to stay for breakfast?"

"I'm planning to stay forever." His response was out of his mouth so fast he didn't even know he had said it until it hung out there in the air like laundry. It was so unlike him to spout off the first thing that came to his head that he fumbled for a moment with what to do.

He tried to back-peddle when he felt the tension in her body. He quickly ratcheted his brain into gear and tried to get her to be comfortable again. "I mean...breakfast would be good. Is that pizza still out there? Think it will still be good?"

"We can give it a try." Kagome responded calmly, the tension slipping from her shoulders. The idle sweep of her hand on his chest returned, sending a pleasured shiver down his spine. He considered suggesting they forgo breakfast and spend more time in bed, but before the words could exit his mouth, his stomach rumbled loudly beneath Kagome's hand.

Laughing lightly, Kagome pushed herself up off of him, hovering over him supported by her arms. Her face was tantalizingly close to his, and he was mesmerized by her lips as they formed words from their teasing slant. "I see. You meant breakfast would be good now."

Before she could move further out of his reach, he placed his palm on the side of her face and drew her lips down to his. He wished he could capture all of her the same way he captured her mouth, bind her to him using his kisses. Their embrace grew more heated and he rotated the embrace so he could be leaning over her. When he eased down to resume their kisses, his concentration was broken by the loud growl emitted by Kagome's stomach.

She laughed loudly this time, moving one arm to cover her abdomen has if to silence the embarrassing sound. "Maybe we should eat something before we get...um...too busy." Kagome suggested with her cheekbones dusted with a demure shade of pink.

Inuyasha let out a huff of unwilling compliance as he rolled off of her and allowed her to get up. If only he had dragged her back to his place, then they could have been served breakfast to the bedroom and never have had to get dressed. He concentrated on locating his trousers and quickly donned them along with his underwear. He was refastening the button on his pants when Kagome's voice interrupted his mental grumblings.

"What are you doing? I thought you were staying?" She asked, looking at him like he was pulling on her dress instead of his own pants.

"We can't leave the bedroom without clothes on." He remarked simply, not understanding her confusion. One simply cannot just wander about their home without the proper attire. Even in his home he never appeared outside his bedroom in any less than pyjamas. It would make things too awkward with his staff.

"Why not?" Kagome asked, approaching him still completely naked with his crumpled shirt in her hand.

"Um..." His brain floundered for an explanation, both because it was simply automatic behaviour and because his beautiful new lover was standing before him and all she was wearing was a thoughtful expression.

"I live alone." She pointed out calmly, sidling closer to him. She deftly popped the button on his fly and unzipped it, causing the tailored pants to fall to the group in a heap. When her hands reached for his underwear he caught them to prevent them from removing his last piece of clothing.

Kagome blinked at him in surprise before she withdrew her hands and offered an understanding smile. "A compromise, then." Kagome laughed a bit, her smile honest and true when she reminded him. "But you really don't have anything to hide from me. I have seen it all."

The truth of her words struck him and left him stunned for a moment. When he was here he did have nothing to hide. He had told her and shown her things no one else had ever known and she still stood there before him, a radiant smile on her face.

When she looked at him like that, he saw the Girl from Poet's Walk, the Cunning Lawyer, the Intelligent Conversationalist, and the Fiery Seductress all combined into the single most captivating woman in the world.

And he loved her.

Without a second thought he shucked his underwear, ignoring her expression of surprise in favour of advancing towards the door. The faster they got through breakfast, the faster they could get back to her bed. "C'mon," he reached a hand towards her to pull her with him to the kitchen, "I'm ready to start breakfast."

"Inuyasha." She said quietly once her hand had slipped into his. Her tone halted his movements and he stared at her downcast eyes for a moment, waiting to hear what she had to say. Taking a deep breath, she took a step closer to him and met his gaze squarely. Standing there, completely bare, with nothing left to hide behind, she gave him the warmest, dare he suggest, loving smile and told him. "I'm ready to start forever."