"Break me down, Sasuke" Naruto said as he stared at the village from the hokage mountain. It was already late, maybe too late to be still thinking about the young Uchiha. He was long gone, he left him and Sakura to fend for themselves and his heart betrayed him every time he thought about it, shrinking and pulsating with pain, circulating it throughout his body, he hated that.

But still he thought of it so many times and felt that throbbing pain so often he came to think of himself as a masochist.

The night was cold and the wind blew merciless, dry leaves falling from the shivering trees, floating in the night sky.

His skin prickled, he'd lost the track of time a few long hours ago and he shivered against his will as a gust of wind hit his already cold body. But he didn't care, and as he got up he willed his face to fall back into his usual happy smile, fake happy smile, the one no one saw through. The one he hated with all of his soul.

He wasn't going to deny now that he loved Sasuke with all of his heart, it was too late for that. Sasuke was the first one to ever see past his mask, and the only one who admitted to doing so. The only one who saw Naruto as a human, an equal, rather than the monster everyone else saw in him.

He was scared of his future, he didn't know what was to come now that his reason for trying to suppress that nine tailed demon was gone. Now that he was all alone, surrounded by strangers.

Not even Kiba could be considered as close as a friend, he just helped him prank the hokage, he was just his friend for the entertainment he provided.

Sakura held him close because of is promise to bring their team member back, and she even went as far as to lie to him, telling him that she loved him, once she caught a glimpse of his sorrows. But his heart only ached for Sasuke.

And yet after all those years of pain he still had the power to walk forward and ignore all of his surroundings in his insane quest to bring back the one he loved, and because of that he failed to notice, to see, the one who loved him most, failed to see the sweet tone in his insults directed to him, and the loving gaze that lingered everytime he looked at him.

He failed to see Sai's love for him. And yet he never failed to see Sasuke's hatred filled eyes when they last met and fought. He would never forget how his voice stabbed him in the heart and killed him when he called him unworthy.

When he called him a monster.

The only thing he tried so hard not to be, the only thing he hated about himself, the only thing that kept him from being normal, human.

Just that memory was enough to make him stumble and catch onto a tree near his house. He had already passed the Uchiha mansion, just as he always did, every day.

He was tired, tired of waiting, tired of being so uncertain, tired of his feelings. So tired, he almost succumbed to the kyuubi.

At least then Sakuke would've been right. He would be a full blown monster. A cold blooded monster that would be enslaved by team Hawk, the new Akatsuki led by the one he loved, and then maybe he would've been happy. Because he would've been with him. But he chose to ignore that thought, and willed himself to go on and srach on his bed once he reached his apartment. His eyelids felt heavy and his body was weakened by his intense training.

His blue orbs closed shut and he clutched at the bedsheets as he saw Sasuke in his mind, all grown up and tall, so beautiful he had to grind his teeth together to stop himself from sobbing.

Though this was no new experience, he started hating sleep just because just before falling asleep he'd think of the bastard.

But he needed it, he had a training day awaiting him, and he wanted to see how Sakura was doing, since she was under Tsunade's wing. His mouth arched upwards slightly at the thought of them and just how much he'd realised he missed them.

The bubbly pinkette, and the old hag. What a weird pair they were. Kakashi and Sai too, he mused. Both were perverts though. Kakashi was always reading those porn books, he thought smirking. And Sai…well, the was nothing much to say, except maybe that he had an obsession with dicks…

What was the deal with Sai and dicks anyway? After some nose scrunching and a few weird faces, Naruto only got to the conclusion that he needed some sleep, and with that said his breath evened out and his grip on the bedsheets loosened as he drifted into unconsciousness.

Sasuke', he moaned, holding onto the ravens back. 'Harder' he grunted, sweat glistening on his skin. And Sasuke obeyed, thrusting harder into the teen underneath him, the bed sheet sliding down his back and pooling at his feet. And the blonde let out a moan again, tears making way down his tanned, scarred cheeks. Because he knew Sasuke would never be his. That no matter how deep into him he was buried, he would never let his hatred vanish, and allow the blonde to be his new reason for living. And in his despair he clutched harder, and dug his blunt nails into his back, into the pale creamy skin, and in turn the raven thrusted deeper into him, hitting his sweet spot. The younger teen arched in his grip and let a deep moan out, curling his toes into the mattress. And tears kept streaming down his cheeks, but he ignored them and instead opened his eyes to look at Sasuke, how his jet black hair stuck to his sweaty forehead, his duck butt hair style now gone, a light blush on his usually pale cheeks. And even if it was quite an inappropriate thing to think of during sex, he couldn't help but notice how much he resembled Sai when his hair wasn't spiky. The other teen, oblivious to the blonde's thoughts, was close to that sweet completion he desired. And in his desperate search to attain it, he started pumping Naruto's shaft, causing him to clench his muscles due to the pleasure, letting go of that thought when the raven hugged him hard, whispering seductively into his ear. "I knew you had a small dick, but this is just ridiculous, dickless" and then his hazy eyes cleared just in time to close shut as he reached his climax, along with the raven he noticed was Sai.

The sick feeling he had in the pit of his stomach when he woke up wasn't half as bad as the fact that his sheets were soiled, and he had most definitely not pissed on himself last night. He got out of the bed trying to ignore the wetness in his boxers and yanked the sheets off, talking them with him into the bathroom. There he dumped them into the hamper and undressed himself cursing at the cold feeling against his stomach. He got under the spray of water just as he turned it on, and he welcomed the freezing water, hoping to cool down before he went to train. This wasn't the first time he had a wet dream with Sasuke, but it sure as hell was the first time that Sasuke turned into Sai. Of all people it had to be the weird, kinda emotionless and awkward artist. He sighed as he made his way out of the shower and went to grab something to eat before going to train, but his stomach had other thoughts, so he had to make peace with grabbing some food on the way out, maybe a bentou he could eat when he got hungry...

It was a nice day outside, like always, and the blonde teen adopted his usual posture, hands at the back of his head, staring at the shining sun. He'd been doing that since Sasuke left, because to him it seemed like the silent teen was walking with him when he looked upward. All stoic and composed, prepared to call him a dobe at the slightest sign of stupidity, just to see him get pissed and flail his arms around trying to prove his point until he got hungry and make the bastard treat him to ramen. To which the raven would snort, call him an idiot, but still treat him to ramen.

That was how they worked. Even if they were limited in expressing their feelings they knew when the other needed comforting.

He sighed as he remembered his loved on, but his steps did not falter. He needed to move on so he could bring the last Uchiha back home.

"Hey, dickless!" He was pulled out of his thoughts by the smiling raven, who greeted him like usual, this time a red hand imprint resting angrily on his left cheek, though he seemed to ignore it.

"Hey dude" he greeted "what happened to your face?"

His expression never wavered as he answered "Sakura and I had a moment of friendly bonding."

Even though if he was he was his usual self he would've laughed, right now he was desperately trying to keep his blush down at the mention of 'friendly bonding' as it seemed friendly too him, right now, was taken as a highly erotic act, such as the one he dreamt about. He shook his head and laughed it off though, his blush not going unnoticed to Sai, the older teen making a mental note to find out what was bugging the blonde.

They left it at that and parted ways though, leaving questions unanswered and hearts thumping against both chests as Sai never once let the blond leave his mind.

He had been in love with the Uzumaki for a long time now, and finally his restraints were loosening, almost freeing his inner monster, hungry for a love he felt only the succulent flesh under the tanned skin could sate. And at the same time he fought for sanity, he fought to keep himself in check, act like he usually did, like the cold blooded beast he once was, but reality downed on him each and every time he was alone.

He couldn't keep the monster locked much longer as his blood got heated up by his love for the blond ninja, and he made his resolve to finally speak up when he saw that light blush on his scarred face. And he would do it fast enough to keep all of his resolve intact.

Meanwhile Naruto was training, sweat glistening on his chest as he decided that getting his shirt soaked in sweat was a no-no for his female fans. Lately, once it was clear that the Uchiha wasn't coming back, they decided to set sights on the more average of ninjas. This included Naruto, almost at the top of the list. After all, Naruto always acted nice to everyone he met, sometimes hanging out with them. And he didn't have any other option. It was either keep them close and tame or keep them at a distance and make them go stalker on your ass.

He wasn't too big of a fan of either of these options, but they kept his mind busy and away from Sasuke. He even took one of them to bed, when the nights were cold and the rain dampened his already tear stained face, making his mood as sour as it could get.

The night approached as he continued to train, keeping his mind shut, keeping all thoughts at bay, his face void of emotions, his idea of visiting Sakura long forgotten.

Shuriken after shuriken slashed at the tree trunk, cracking the bark, some lodging themselves in the old tree.

The wind started slashing at his skin, and he had to stop and put his shirt back on. The only pause he allowed himself.

The only break he allowed himself. And as his mind reeled over suppressed thoughts. His chakra surged angrily, and his expression turned into a frown when he noticed a well-known chakra signature close by.

"Sai" he acknowledged his raven friend, and when his turn came, Sai approached the blonde, smile gone from his expression.

"Hey, Naruto" he murmured, his mood grim for the first time since he met the blonde.

His hair was slightly tousled, his expression weary. He was sweating, his shoulders hunched over, shivering and his shirt appeared to be wet. "What happened?" Naruto dropped his kunai and approached him, just in time to catch his falling body. "Sai, Sai!" Though his screams reached only the sky, Sai had already lost consciousness.

'Hold on...!' Naruto thought as he lifted his body and jumped on a thick branch. His house was too far away for him to get there in short time, he thought as he pretended the red stain on the palm of his hand was only water, and ignored the rusty smell of blood. He had no idea where Sai's house was, and the hospital was in the other end of the village. The only place that was the closest that he knew had a first aid kit was two minutes away, he thought sorrowfully, and sped up.

When Sai caught hold on his consciousness, he found out he was in a bed. And it wasn't his, and why the fuck was one of his hands wet and slimy? God he felt disoriented. He didn't open his eyes yet, somehow scared of finding out his surroundings. The silence was calming his nerves, and he took deep breaths, trying to remember what happened to him and why he was in a bed, definitely not his, this one was too hard to be his.

He gathered his thoughts and managed to remember being attacked by a bunch of sound nin, and killing them all though getting himself injured in the process. And then he went to find Naruto. Oh God, he went to find Naruto! Those sound nin were after Naruto, he went to warn him, but did he make it? He bolted upright, but slammed back into the mattress when he felt his wounds reopen, all over his chest and shoulders. His eyes watered as the dim light shone into his eyes. He vaguely remembered the house, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. Though his heart rate calmed down when he saw the blonde asleep next to him, sitting on a chair his hand holing his, head resting on them, drooling peacefully. So that's what was slimy on his hand..."Naruto..." he tried calling the blond, but his throat was dry and his voice was a mere raspy whisper. The bonde stirred, and moaned out Sasuke's name, but otherwise did not wake. An arrow pierced Sai's heart when realisation dawned. Even in his sleep the blond saw only the rogue nin, Uchiha Sasuke. He recognised the place as belonging to the other raven when he saw the fan symbol embedded into the wall to his right, next to the open window, through which he could see the cold silver moon. The raven felt somewhat betrayed, but he kept his composure. He took his hand out from under the blonde's head and wiped it on the covers absent-minded before he tried to make the blond wake through will power alone, because he could no longer move his tired body. It would take at least 10 more hours by the time anyone would find the battered bodies of the attackers. He still had enough time, he could rest before he had to answer boring question after boring question. But that didn't seem to be what Naruto though was appropriate, because he choose this moment to wake up, only to find Sai's face, devoid of any emotion starring at the moon.

He seemed so... changed from his usual self, so serious. And his eyes, more alive than ever. He could almost feel what he was feeling, taste the bitter taste of betrayal. But right now he was just happy he was okay, happy he was alive. Because he was that bridge that held him up, that kept him going.

"Sai you -..." "Why did you bring me here, Naruto?" Sai interrupted. His face was still facing the window, deftly avoiding his cerulean eyes.

"...it was the closest place..." he murmured, looking away from the raven. "Keep lying to yourself, Naruto" the blonde cringed at the sharp tone. "Lie? To myself? Are you stupid? You were hurt for fuck's sake! You could've died!" He shouted furiously.

"If I hadn't killed those gennin you would've been the one injured and half dead!" The outburst irked Naruto further, and the blonde raised his voice even higher "You didn't have to kill them for me! I could've killed them myself!".

Something snapped in the raven, and he grabbed hold of the blonde dragging him into the bed, towards him. He flinched, expecting a punch square in the face from Sai, but stiffened when he felt cold lips touching his, wet tongue asking for entrance, licking at his lips. Seeing that Naruto had no intention letting him in, more like was brain dead for the moment, he grabbed hold of his member through his trousers and squeezed hard, making the blond gasp. And he took the opportunity to shove his tongue inside his hot cavern and explore every inch of it. He tasted like ramen and something else that was purely Naruto. He wondered for a second if he was able to taste it on his body, but returned to the present moment as Naruto's gears started turning again, and he pushed on his chest with his fisted hands.

Sai ignored the jab of pain that came with the blonde pushing back on his wounds, but grabbed hold of both of his hands with his right one and used the left one to grab the gauze left forgotten on the nightstand and tie his hands to the Uchiha's headboard, never once breaking the kiss, leaving the blonde to lay tied on top of him.

Though he never once thought of Sai in that way, just now he saw what emotions lay in his eyes, how alive he was, so alike to the raven.

But no matter how much he struggled to make him seem like the Uchiha, they were two separate beings, driven by different emotions. His raven could never be Sai, he thought as he bit down on the intruding tongue, earning a groan, followed by the raven pulling back, wiping a droplet of blood that dripped down his chin, smirking at the blond while doing so. He turned the blond dobe around so he was on top, further tangling the gauze that held his hands tied, propped himself on his knees and reached his hands for his belt, licking his lips as his hands glided on his wrapped chest, and finally undid the belt buckle, sliding it slowly through the belt loops, eyes full of lust as he threw it away in the corner of the room, where Sasuke's desk was, knocking down the framed picture of the former team seven.

Sai leaned down so his face was mere inches away from the blond, and breathed into his neck, gliding his nose up on his neck, following hid vein to that place behind his ear that made him groan out loud. "How can I expect you to take on 7 gennin when you can't even fight back against me, dickless?" He whispered hotly against his neck biting gently on the lobe of his ear, sucking on it lightly, carefully listening to the blonde's heavy breathing.

"Can't you pretend I'm the one you love, just this night?" He asked, moving gently towards his lips, kissing them lightly, running his tongue shyly running his tongue against his lower lip, trying to get the blonde to let him in again, and even though he was shocked when he slightly opened his mouth, kissing his lips and nibbling at his lips, he did not let it show and kissed back just as eagerly.

"Not a word to anyone about this, bastard, got it? Now untie me." He said as he broke the kiss, and the raven obeyed, taking one of his kunais from where the blond put them on the nightstand and slashed the bindings, successfully freeing him. And the blonde didn't sit back and think, and wrapped his hands around his back, tugging at his headband, letting it fall next to them on the bed. Sai snaked his cold hands under Naruto's shirt, gliding them towards his pert nipples slowly, enjoying the groans the blond let out when his cold skin touched his heated one, and tweaked one of his nipples while the other hand worked him out of the shirt. As he took it off he began his assault against his neck, sucking and nipping at his vein, then taking a path down his neck to his chest, and to his nipples, where he took some time to bite down, and suck on them hard, earning a moan from the over excited blonde as he palmed his growing bulge through his trousers, slowly tugging them down, rubbing then against his erection, kissing down his happy trail, leaving hickeys down to the hem of his boxers, earning a disappointed grunt and a muffled "don't tease!" Between moans from the blond. And he obliged, with a swift tug he took off his boxers, enjoying the angry hiss as cold air hit his erection, but grabbed hold of the sheets, more excited than ever, his stiffened cock sitting upright in the dark night as his face took on an exciting shade of red, his lust filled eyes gazing at Sai who seemed to take a moment to contemplate, before his head lowered and he started biting on his inner thigh gently, working his way up to where his engorged member was, though not touching it to tease the blond. "Hey Naruto," he said between licks " any lube around?" And he licked the tip of his cock, earning a strangled cry from his victim. The blonde didn't respond but he heard his right hand shuffling around in the first aid kit, throwing him the bottle of medicinal lube, which he caught. Unscrewing the white cap he poured it on his hand, trying to get it warmed up. He took the head into his mouth and sucked on it, teasing the slit with his tongue as his hand searched for the blonde's hole, circling it with his lubed finger trying to get it to loosen up before he inserted a finger inside, and at the same time took all of his length into his mouth, feeling it hit the back of his throat and swallowed, making the blonde scream and shiver with delight, grabbing hold of the jet black strands if hair, urging him to suck on it more, to tease him more. And tease he did, as he moved his finger inside the blonde, searching for that bundle of nerves that would make him let out a deliciously erotic scream and arch his back to meet his lips.

Naruto panted as a thin layer of sweat covered his tan body, knees arched up, begging for Sai to stop teasing him. But the raven wanted none of it. He inserted a second finger and began scissoring them so he could loosen up that insanely tight hole, and began bobbing his head faster, listening intently to the cry the dobe let out as he hit his prostate, and sucked hard on his length at the same time, his hot seed spurting into his awaiting mouth his fingers leaving his twitching hole. The blond shook his body, and groaned at the loss as the raven kissed up his chest until he reached he lips, when they tangled their tongues and tasted eachother, while Sai spread his legs further apart, took off his pants and in a swift thrust was buried into the moaning blonde to the hilt. He himself groaned at the tight heat that was engulfing his erection and the pleasuring feel his blunt nails digging into his pale back had.

The blonde sighed contently as he felt the pleasure of being filled to the brim, but did his best to ignore the hole in his heart as he knew that he wanted his first time to be with the one he loved, the one who hated him to his core. Tears streamed down his cheeks and onto the bed, and Sai licked them away kissing the blond dobe while trying to hold back and stay still.

He kissed and nipped at his pulse, trying to get him to accommodate faster to his length, as his cock started stiffening again at a fast pace.

"Naruto.." he whispered into his ear as he felt his restraints loosening and the blonde nodded groaning a barely audible "move". And he took it out until only the crown. Was left in and thrusted hard and deep, hitting his prostate. A groan let its out of his throat as he felt Naruto clamp down on him, and he took his hand and fisted his erection as their movements became more erratic as they were in search for their completion.

They reached for eachother and kissed as they both reached completion, Naruto Cummins first, covering his chest and Sai's bandages with his semen and a few thrusts later, the raven came inside the blonde, filling him with ribbons of his cum, dropping exhausted on the blonde's chest. The blonde hugged him and turned them around in bed so he stood on Sai, and he got up, cringing as his shaft left his hole and semen started dripping down his legs, but otherwise he ignored it as he went and took a short shower, coming back to a sleeping Sai. He took a look at his bandages and went to the first aid kit and took a gauze and a scissors. He had to change his dirty bandages before his wounds got infected. As he cut through the material Sai stirred and looked at Naruto "don't leave me, even if just for tonight" he said in a raspy voice and fell asleep, light headed from the blood loss.

And after Naruto wrapped him in a new gauze, he slipped beside him into the bed and snuggled him, closing his eyes contemptedly. 'No worries' he thought, 'I don't plan on leaving you...ever' he thought as he realised that sometimes in life he had to make peace with having the second best. And when he was sure Sai was asleep, he whispered a happy "I love you", too bad though he failed to notice the smile that graced Sai's face in the deep night.

~Fin