Disclaimer: Not mine, and I'm not making any money off of it.

Author's Note: I want to apologize for not updating sooner. Real life got in the way big time. The past year has been very difficult for my family. My husband and I found out we were pregnant last March and at around 16 weeks we found out that our son had a severe condition that caused some abnormalities. The most important issue was that his kidneys did not grow or function like most normal babies. We were given the option of aborting, but chose to continue on to delivery. We went to many specialists, and even had surgery on our child while he was in the womb. Talk about amazing, huh? In November I delivered our son by c-section. He lived about 30 minutes but I wouldn't trade the experience for anything. We prayed for a child, and God answered that prayer. Many people who knew us or who read our online Caringbridge journal told us how our child touched their lives. It's amazing what God can do with one small life. For those who sent private messages or reviews during that time- thank you. It helped to know that there were those out there who were still reading my stories and enjoying them. I have promised to update and finish them all, and I mean it. They will be finished.

At any rate, time makes things a little easier. I'm slowly getting back in the groove of writing- although I've never gotten out of the groove of fanfiction. I read updates daily. J I also have 2 more stories that I'm working on. I hope to finish them before posting so that I don't leave anyone upset. J

Now …on to the story. I don't claim to be a doctor, and most of the info I have in this chapter I found online. It took a bit of research to do this chapter. So please don't be angry if I've got something wrong medically speaking. This is, after all, fiction. There's a lot of info in this chapter about insulin pumps, and I'm sure I left something out. I felt all of the information was important for us to get a glimpse into what Stephanie is having to deal with. That said, if you don't like medical info and such, this chapter may not be for you. J

Previously: "Stephanie, I know a lot of things that you don't think I know. And I've known about your hidden Tasty Cakes in the tampon box under my bathroom sink for a while. You can't hide your emergency stashes from me. But Babe, you are going to have to cut all that out until we at least get your levels regulated. I'm not saying that you can never have them again. But the quantity and frequency will have to change."

Stephanie looked decidedly unhappy. "I know Carlos. It's just that…"

I pulled her to me in hug. "Listen, Steph. I understand. Really, I do. It's not going to be easy. But I'm only saying this because I love you and I want you to be around with me for a very, very long time. I need you here with me. I can't lose you."

Stephanie sighed a deep sigh and nodded her head. "You're right. I know. I just hate it."

I chuckled. "Which one? Me being right? Or the no sugar part?"

Stephanie smirked and looked up at me. "Both!"

***…***…

The morning passed as expected. Steph ran by the bonds office and reassured Connie and Lula that she was going to be ok as she picked up files. Lester rode with her, since she'd had a seizure previously, and I wasn't comfortable with her going alone. Thankfully, since the seizure was caused by her blood sugar, she didn't have to lose her license short term like she would have if she had been diagnosed with epilepsy. But I still felt better with Lester riding along. Connie and Lula had a lot of questions for her, but Steph did what she could to reassure them. When she returned to Rangeman, she sat in on a couple of new client meetings with me and then we broke for lunch. Steph half-heartedly grumbled as she checked her blood sugar before eating and completed the injection that she needed. We settled for lunch supplied by Ella in the Rangeman break room since we had to leave shortly afterwards for her appointment with Dr. Smith.

As we finished up lunch, I pulled Steph into my arms for a quick hug. I could sense her frustration and wanted her to know I'd be right there with her at the appointment.

"Babe, what's got you so upset? I questioned as I held her to me. I knew that my touch usually settled her nerves, and I was willing to take every advantage of that.

"I just don't want to go Carlos." Stephanie complained. "I know diabetes is serious, and that I should go, but it's all so sudden. There are so many changes I'm having to make all of a sudden. It's just not fair. I don't think I'll ever get to the point that I am comfortable with injecting myself with the insulin. I'm just overwhelmed I guess. Every two hours it's another stick. Get up in the mornings-stick. Take a shower and eat breakfast. Go to work-stick. Stick before lunch. I'm turning into a pin cushion. And that's not counting the shots. I'm just not sure I'm cut out for this. I mean, maybe if I eat right and exercise more I can just see what happens."

"Babe, I can understand. But we can't just 'see what happens'. Look at what happened a couple of days ago when you just let things go. This is real. Life happens. But the quicker we make this a part of your everyday life, the easier it will be to handle. You can ask Dr. Smith any questions you have. And I'll be there with you, along with Bobby. Okay?"

Stephanie harrumphed a bit, but eventually agreed. She went to her desk to get her things and we loaded up into the Cayenne. Bobby was going to meet us there.

Thirty minutes later we found ourselves sitting in a well decorated waiting room while we waited for Steph's name to be called. Bobby had taken the liberty of having Steph's medical records sent over, and had prefilled all of the patient information forms for her, so all we had to do was sign in. Stephanie was biting on a hangnail while she bounced her black cargo clad leg up and down in a nervous manner. I reached out and stilled her leg, gently squeezing it and then running my hand down to her knee and back up gently.

"Babe, it's going to be ok. There's nothing to be nervous over."

Stephanie looked at me as if I'd spoken in Hebrew. "Sure. That's easy for you to say. What if he tells me diabetes is going to kill me. What if he tells me I have to stick myself even more? What if…."

Bobby interrupted. "Stephanie, you're already checking your levels every two hours throughout the day. Most likely, he'll reduce that number. Plus, he may even have something in mind to make things easier. There are all kinds of new meds and prefilled syringes out now. We very well may leave here with a more positive handle on all of this than we came here with."

"Really?" Stephanie turned towards Bobby, trying to see if he was feeding her a line of bull. "Do you really think so?"

"I can't guarantee it, Steph. But there's a possibility. I've done some research and there's a lot more treatments out there than there used to be. We can ask all the questions that you want while we are here. I'm sure he's got a lot to tell us."

Just then, a nurse came through the waiting room doors. "Ms. Plum, Dr. Smith will see you now."

Bobby and I followed Stephanie through the door into a small hallway. She was quickly weighed and her blood pressure, temp, and respirations were taken, and then we were led into a patient room where Dr. Smith was waiting.

"Ms. Plum, I'm Dr. Smith, but you can call me Jeff."

"Please, call me Stephanie or Steph. This is my boyfriend Carlos Manoso, and my friend Bobby. Bobby is also a medic for Carlos' company."

Bobby did a complicated handshake with Jeff and it was obvious that they knew each other. Bobby smiled as he explained. "Steph, Jeff and I go way back. We served in basic training together, and since I knew him I asked your attending physician at the hospital if your case could be referred to him. I trust him."

Stephanie smiled. "Well, if you trust him that's good enough for me."

Jeff helped Stephanie up onto the patient table as Bobby and I sat in the two chairs provided in the room. "So Bobby tells me you're a newly diagnosed diabetic. He's brought me up to speed on your case, but I'd like to talk to you a little about how you're feeling, what your typical diet is like, and we'll go from there. Sound ok?"

"Sure."

"Ok then. How often are you checking your levels right now?"

"Every two hours. That's what Dr. Gupta recommended."

"Good. Have you been recording those?"

Stephanie nodded as I handed the doctor a notebook that we'd used to keep track of her levels over the past few days. He looked over them and nodded.

"So how are you feeling now? Any dizziness, dry mouth, nausea, thirst?"

"Well, I feel better than I did. No more fever or sore throat so the antibiotics for the strep are doing their job I suppose. I'm not as thirsty as I was the day I had the crisis, but I still drink a lot. I'm trying to just drink water since there's sugar in sodas. Carlos had the apartment stocked with a few diet drinks and diet sports drinks to decrease the sugar I'm taking in."

Jeff nodded. "Good. That's a great start. Any other odd feelings? Jitteriness? Fatigue?"

Stephanie glanced towards Bobby, then me, and looked back to the doctor. "Well, I've noticed that I get a little jittery when it's almost meal time. Nothing too bad, and it usually helps to eat."

I took a deep breath. Obviously I hadn't noticed this new symptom and felt bad that Steph felt the need to hide it from me. I pulled her hand to mine. "Steph, Babe, why didn't you tell me? You don't have to hide symptoms from me or Bobby."

"I know. It's just that I don't want you to think I'm weak. I knew you wouldn't let me go back to work if I told you. I felt better, really I did. But Bobby said I could ask any questions I wanted, and I just wondered if that jitteriness would be something I'd have to learn to live with."

The doctor took that opportunity to speak up. "Stephanie, it's good that you're being honest. That way, we can decide the best plan of action for you. Don't be afraid to tell me what's working and what's not. And be honest with Carlos and Bobby. With your permission, I'll be in touch with Bobby throughout your treatment- and you as well. If we need to make adjustments we certainly can. Like I said, not all treatments work well for all patients. Some people have extreme nausea as a side effect from some of the meds. Others tolerate them well. I suspect that the jitteriness will subside as we get your levels under control. Also, eating good foods more frequently may help. Bobby has told me that sugar is one of your favorite food groups. However, according to your chart, your weight is a little low for your height. So it appears you may have a faster metabolism than most. We'll work out a nutrition plan for you to include more proteins and complex carbs, so you have energy longer and hopefully won't experience the shakes and jitters."

Stephanie nodded as she took it all in.

The doctor continued. "So tell me about your exercise routine. What's normal for you?"

"I'm not a big fan of it."

We all laughed as Stephanie looked a little embarrassed. Bobby spoke up, explaining his plan. "Jeff, I have worked out an exercise routine for Steph. Stephanie, I had planned on going over it with you once we got the clear from the doctor today for physical activity. I know you tend to get bored easily, so hopefully we can mix it up enough to keep it interesting. Also, it's not like you have to put in hours a day down in the gym."

"Bobby's right, Steph. Thirty to forty-five minutes a day is a good start. You can get that in by walking, swimming, dancing, doing cardio- anything that interests you. Is there something you really enjoy doing?"

"Well, I swam on my high school swim team for a year. I enjoyed that. And I took dance lessons for about 4 years in middle school and picked it back up in college. Also I used to walk my friends dog, Bob. I enjoyed that."

Bobby smiled and looked over to me. As much as I regretted sending her back to Morelli, I knew she loved that dog of his. Maybe I'd get her a dog of her own. Something to think about.

Jeff spoke up. "Good. That gives us something to start with. I'd like for you to exercise at least five days a week for now. Exercise is one of the best ways to bring your sugars down closer to normal levels. Also, keep drinking lots of water. You may never get to what we call normal levels, but we'll try to get you as close as possible. Also, since it's obvious that sickness affects your blood sugars strongly, I want you to try to take excellent care of yourself. Try to stay away from others who are sick. If you haven't had your flu shot, we can do that today before you leave. Sometimes the flu puts diabetics in the hospital so I encourage all of my patients to get the vaccine. I'd like for you to continue to check your blood sugars, but you can go four hours between readings. Your dosage over the past couple days has been about the same, so we can do some prefilled syringes if you'd like. That way, you don't have to mix your drugs. It's more convenient for people who are on the go like yourself. Also, I'd like for you to eat several small meals instead of three large ones to see how that affects your levels. Keep a snack in your purse or in your car. And I'm talking healthy snacks, not donuts." At this, Stephanie cut her eyes to Bobby and mouthed the words "blabbermouth" to him.

We stayed and discussed a few more things about Stephanie's new diagnosis before Jeff asked if Steph had any more questions.

"Well, I really hate sticking myself. I know it's going to be a very real part of my future, but Bobby mentioned something about an insulin pump. If I have to remain on insulin, would I be a candidate for that?"

Jeff sat back in his chair as if he was getting ready for a long talk. "I'm glad you asked. Steph, insulin pumps are a good option for people who want tighter control over their insulin levels. It used to be that people with type I diabetes were the only ones who used these pumps. Now, more and more type II diabetics are using them as well. I believe you have type I. Most people who have type I diabetes are diagnosed in their youth. But a few escape to their early thirties. You have no family history of diabetes and you're not overweight. So it's likely that you have type 1, especially since you had the presence of a lot of ketones in your blood. I'm not going to lie to you. I think you've probably been a diabetic for a while now. That said, since you're a type 1 diabetic, it means that your body isn't producing insulin. So most likely you will be on injections of some sort for the rest of your life."

Stephanie nodded and a few tears escaped as she took this in. I stood and went to stand by her side. "Steph, it's ok. We'll deal with this. Don't cry, Babe. Please."

"Ranger, you didn't sign on to have to take care of someone who could eventually be very sick. You didn't sign up for this."

"Babe, it's a part of you. And I love you. We'll work through it. The nurse at the hospital told you that you could still do all the things in life that you wanted to. Remember?"

The doctor spoke up. "He's right Steph. Diabetes isn't a death sentence. You can still work, have kids, get married, climb a mountain…whatever it is that you want to do. You've just got to prepare more to do it. Check your readings, exercise, eat right, and take your meds. While it is true that you've most likely had it a while, we're still in the green zone. I don't think any major, permanent damage has been done, but we could do a few tests to further rule that out. There are some additional blood panels I'd like to do as well to give us a more accurate view of your case. Some people have trouble maintaining a constant level and experience peaks and lows. It sounds like you've experienced some of those with your shakiness you described. There are advantages to a pump. They reduce complications associated with diabetes, you obviously don't have to stick yourself as much, you get better control, a more flexible lifestyle, and you only use the amount of insulin you need to cover what you eat. But there are disadvantages too. There's a learning curve with a pump. You have to count carbs and be really strict about what you eat so you've got to know a lot more about nutrition. You have to test more to ensure your pump is set accurately. The pump becomes an extra part of you, if you will. You carry it with you 24/7. You can disconnect it for very short periods of time, but for the most part, it's on you all the time. You also have to stick yourself when you rotate sites for pump placement, so you're never going to be totally needle free. And lastly, it can be very expensive if your insurance won't cover it."

Stephanie nodded her head and seemed to be in deep thought. I looked to Bobby and saw that he was taking notes. I knew that if our Rangeman insurance plan didn't cover the pump, Stephanie wouldn't go for it. And I knew I couldn't let that be a deciding factor. If she wanted to try it, I'd make sure she had it.

"Cost doesn't matter. We can take care of the supplies if our policy doesn't cover it."

Stephanie interrupted. "No Carlos. I can't allow you to do that. I won't…."

Before an argument could ensue, Bobby cleared his throat and interrupted both of us. "There's no use in arguing. I've already checked and our insurance covers the cost and supplies at 100%. If Bombshell decides she wants to do it, there's no reason not to."

Stephanie took a deep breath and I smirked. Secretly, I was glad that I'd added her on at Rangeman back even when she was doing less than part time work. It made times like these a little easier, but I'd do whatever it took for her to have what she needed.

Jeff spoke again. "As I was saying, for those who have insulin pumps, and like them, they list many advantages. It gives you more control over your body and how it reacts to the foods you are going to put in it. Insulin pumps use rapid acting insulin, so you've got to test often and eat regularly. Otherwise, you'll find yourself on the floor again."

Stephanie spoke up. "If I decide that I wanted one, how long would I need to get one? Or is it just for people who have been a diabetic for a while?"

"If you decide that you want to do it, we can set it up today. However, you need to be sure. There's a lot that goes with wearing a pump. Today's pumps have safety check features that will alert you to kinks in the tubing or a problem with the pump. Some models are waterproof, so you can shower with them or remove them for a short period of time. You can still swim with them if you chose a waterproof model, or you can put them in a waterproof pouch. If you have to disconnect the tubing for a short period, there's a cap that you can put on the port for safety. It's all fairly simple once you make it a routine part of your life. But I can't stress enough that you must test and you have to be rigorous about nutritional intake. And again, the insulin is fast acting, so you can't decide you're not hungry and not eat. You have to rotate sites around every three days or scar tissue may form. There is a new type of pump on the market that can be calibrated with a sensor that you insert into your skin. It does continuous checking of your blood glucose levels throughout the day and night. But this requires an additional stick as well and the site has to be rotated as well. There's lots of options. Do you think this sounds like something you're up to? Or do you have other questions?"

"Well, what do you think Carlos? Do you think it sounds like a good idea?"

"Babe, I'll support anything you want to try. I think it sounds like the pump would be easier on you, but it sounds like a lot of responsibility on your part to make sure you coordinate your eating schedule. What does your instinct tell you to do?"

"I think I'd like to try it…but I'm scared. What if I mess up? Or can't stick myself?

Jeff spoke up. "We'll do whatever you decide, but don't let sticking yourself for the pump stop you. You're already sticking yourself, right? This is kind of the same thing. You can rotate sites to your stomach, legs, etc. Believe it or not, lots of children and even babies wear the pump. They make a tool or device that you load the cartridge in and it pops the small catheter under the skin. Or you can do it manually. We'll show you how to place the catheter before you go home, and of course Bobby can help you. But you'd be surprised how easy it is. Lots of kids do it themselves. Go home and search Youtube for insulin pump videos. Last time I looked, there was a 21 month old on there that watched Barney while her mom put the pump on. And she checked her own glucose levels!"

That seemed to boost Stephanie's confidence. "Ok, then. I think I'd like to try the pump. I don't too much mind the sticking of my finger, so maybe I could work up to the extra sensor stick that would calibrate with the pump. Can we start with small steps and just try the pump for now?"

"Sure. Let me get some paperwork squared away, and I'll be back in with some supplies. Bobby, come with me and I'll show you a couple of different options as far as pumps go. You'd be surprised at the advances they've made. I have a specific model in mind for Steph."

Jeff and Bobby left to go gather their supplies, so I took the opportunity to pull Steph in for a hug. "Babe, I'm so proud of you."

"Why's that Carlos?"

"Because you are taking control of this disease. You're already making choices that are going to ensure that you live a long and healthy life. I'm proud of you for being willing to do something that you are scared of and a little uncomfortable with."

"Thanks. I admit I'm scared, but it sounds like a good option for me. Don't you think?"

"Yea, Babe. I do. I really do."

Jeff and Bobby came back and had the supplies for Stephanie's pump. A nurse followed them in and took a moment to draw some blood for more blood work and also gave her the flu shot Jeff had recommended. Bobby and I had already had ours, but I made a mental note to make sure everyone at Rangeman had taken theirs as well. I didn't want to chance anyone making Steph sick. I knew I couldn't protect her from everything, but I wanted to protect her where I could.

Jeff laid out the supplies and when I looked at the pump I saw that it looked almost like a pager, and included a clip that Steph could clip onto her jeans while she was wearing it. It had clear tubing that attached to it and a small circle that had a port on it that would insert into Steph's skin. Jeff explained that once the port was in place, the needle would be removed and the thin flexible catheter would be all that remained to deliver the insulin. A continuous flow of insulin would be delivered, but Steph could bolus herself based on her readings and what she was eating. Jeff took his time, explaining again all of the things we'd learned in the nutrition class. He talked about how to adjust her insulin, and what things might affect her readings- like stress and sickness. He talked about how to give herself a bolus based on what she was eating, and explained that the pump would deliver insulin throughout the day as well. It was like a crash course in diabetes. He even told her that many women hid the pump in their bras or panties, depending upon their outfit. I knew it was a lot to take in, but Steph seemed to be paying attention. I tried to pay meticulous attention to detail as well, knowing that Steph was often times the type that had to 'digest' things before they settled in. I'd never been so thankful to have Bobby not only as a friend, but as an employee.

As Jeff finished up his instructions, he stood up and looked at Stephanie. "Ok Steph. Are you sure about this?"

"Yea. I mean yes, I think so. I think it's the best option for me right now. I say let's do it. It'll be easier than injecting myself several times a day. And I think it'll put me in better control of this disease. I want to control it- I don't want it to control me."

We all smiled at that, and right then, right there, I knew Stephanie would be okay. I knew that she was, as she would say, 'putting on her big girl panties' and dealing with this set back.

Jeff started getting supplies together. "Ok, I'm going to get you to pull your shirt up a little, and we'll let you attach the port."

"You mean I'm going to do it the first time?"

"Yep. No time like the present to learn."

"Ok, I guess I can. If you show me what to do."

I smiled at Bobby as Stephanie pulled up her t-shirt to reveal her waist. Jeff instructed her filling the pump and how to clean the area where she would wear the catheter with an alcohol prep pad. He then handed her the device that made insertion easier, helping her to load the device with the port, and within a few minutes, Stephanie had inserted it into her skin. The look on her face was priceless as Jeff patted her on the back. "Good job, Steph. That wasn't too bad, was it?"

"I did it. Oh my gosh! I can't believe I did it! That was amazing! It didn't really hurt at all."

Bobby replied with a "Good job Steph!" But I chose to show her how proud I was of her. I pulled her into my arms and kissed her quickly. "Babe I knew you could do it."

The doctor proceeded to show her how to set up the pump, and within minutes she was good to go. He clipped the pump onto her jeans as she pulled her shirt back down. "That's all there is to it?"

"Yep, that's it. Remember the site is good for three days. Then you'll need to change it and refill the pump. Remember to test every four hours during the day, and before meals. I'll be in touch with Bobby, but please call me with any questions or problems. Remember the device will tell you if the battery is low. This particular pump is one of the best on the market. I think you'll be very pleased with it."

"Thank you Jeff. I feel a little better about things now."

"No problem. Remember, you can still do whatever you want. Diabetes isn't a death sentence if you take care of yourself the right way."

Bobby and I shook Jeff's hand and Steph pulled him into a quick hug. We made our way out of the doctor's office after the nurse handed Steph prescriptions for more meds. I knew that Bobby would take care of filling them, so after a quick fist bump in the parking lot, we were on our way.

"Babe, what would you like to do for the rest of the day?"

"Well, I've got research to do on the FTA's I picked up this morning."

"Let's take the rest of the day off. Research can wait. What would you love to do? We need to go celebrate."

"Carlos, getting an insulin pump isn't exactly cause for celebration."

"Sure it is, Babe. It's one more step that you've taken in getting control of this disease. I say that's worth celebrating."

"Well, there is one thing I'd like to do."

"Ok, Babe. Name it."

"I'm not sure you'd want to do it."

"I'm up for anything, Babe. Name it."

"Well, I kind of feel like I'm on medical jargon overload. I mean, we spent almost two hours in Dr. Smith…er…Jeff's office. But I kind of feel like I'm on a roll. Didn't you say your abuela was a diabetic? I'd kind of…well…I'd like to meet her. Can we go by her house?"

I smiled as I pulled her hand to my lips and gently kissed them. "Of course, Babe. I called her last night and told her I'd be bringing you by. I just didn't want to push it on you. I wasn't sure you were ready. The past couple of days have been a lot to handle for you."

"I know. But I just thought that speaking to someone who's been diagnosed like me might help me get a handle on things. Will your sister be there?"

"Babe, I'm not sure but I could make a quick phone call."

"I don't want to inconvenience anyone. I was just hoping…."

"Babe, it's no trouble. Celia lives nearby. If she's not able to go to Abuela's we can stop by there as well. It's past time that you meet some of my family. They're going to love you."

"Are you sure Carlos? They may see me as a weirdo with a pager and tubing coming out of her side!"

"Babe, there's no way anyone would feel that way. Besides, the insulin pump isn't even noticeable. Don't worry. They're gonna love you-just like I do."

"I love you too Batman. Thanks for going with me today. I'm not sure I could have done it without you."

"Anytime Babe. I'm sure you could have done it alone, but you'll never have to try it since I'm going to be with you every step of the way. I promise. Now let's go see what Abuela has for dinner."