Title: Reveal the Goddess in You

Author: acromatic princess

Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto.

Summary: Sakura's angry at Sasuke, Naruto wants a second name, and Sasuke is secretly asking Sakura out on a date. What's new? CRACK. Mostly.

Setting: A world with, like, demigods and stuff.

Notes: I apologize for this.

Reveal the Goddess in You
~Cara

"SASUKE! WHERE ARE YOU? GET YOUR TINY ASS OVER HERE SO I CAN KICK IT INTO A VOLCANO!"

Sakura was angry.

Sasuke sighed, because the tiny ass comment was really a low blow. His ass, while not as "juicy" (as some girls said nowadays) as a few of the other boys' were, was really quite a nice size. So what if his jeans were a little bit loose in the back? Sasuke could rock any look.

Suddenly, Sakura was standing in front of him. He stopped worrying about his butt.

"Sasuke," Sakura said, smiling in a way that scared Sasuke. "Why did you lie and tell Kiba that I have hairy armpits? And that I pick my nose? And that I snore louder than thunder when I sleep?"

"I didn't lie about the snoring," Sasuke muttered. Sakura made a sound that definitely sounded like a growl. Sasuke was terrified, but he held his ground. "Who is Kiba again?"

Sakura narrowed her eyebrows. "Kiba. Brown hair, brown eyes, red tattoos on his cheeks? The demigod I was trying to woo? Goddammit Sasuke! I'm the daughter of Venus! Goddess of love! I'm not supposed to have any trouble wooing guys!"

"Venus? Like the razor?" Naruto chose this moment to pop in.

Sakura and Sasuke both stared at him in stunned silence. "W-what?" Sakura asked.

Naruto took some grapes out of his pockets and started to eat them. He said, with his mouth full, "Venus, you know, the razor. Like, reveal the goddess in you?" They continued to stare at him, and when Naruto noticed this, he looked back and forth between them. "What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Naruto," Sakura said slowly. "You're the son of Zeus, right?"

"Duh!"

"Then shouldn't you know that Venus is another name for Aphrodite? The goddess of love?"

Naruto looked shocked. "She actually has two names?"

Sasuke, who had gotten over his original astonishment, looked disgusted. "Idiot."

Naruto turned on him, furious. "Who are you calling an idiot, bastard? It was a common mistake! So what if I didn't know that one measly little goddess-"

"Hey!" Sakura cried indignantly.

"-had more than one name! Who needs more than one name, anyways? Well, I mean, actually, I would like to have another name." Naruto's ADHD was kicking in. "I mean, that would actually be pretty awesome. But what would be a good second name? Hmm..." He walked away, muttering to himself.

Sakura knew that she should have been used to Naruto by now, but he still always managed to stun her with his idiocy. "Did that really just happen?" she asked Sasuke.

Sasuke shrugged. Sakura shook her head in disbelief. "Now, what were we talking about again?" she asked.

"You were asking me out on a date," Sasuke said helpfully.

Sakura looked surprised. "I was?"

Sasuke nodded. "Yeah, you were saying how much you thought Kiba sucked, because he picked his nose and snored like thunder—"

"I feel like I'm missing something," Sakura muttered to herself.

"—and then you asked me out on a date, because I'm so obviously superior to him," he finished.

This sounded about right to Sakura, though there was something that she just couldn't quite put her finger on. But then again, that's how she always felt after talking to Sasuke. Being the son of Hades, he was very good at convincing you that something was one way, when he was really planning on raising dead people to strangle you in your sleep (but that had only happened the one time). It was like Jedi mind-tricking. Or something.

So Sakura was a little suspicious, and she usually would have investigated further, but this was a special occasion. Sasuke never talked this much.

"So if I asked you out on a date," Sakura said slowly. "Then what did you say?"

"Yes."

Sakura nodded, still a little bit confused. "Right. So..."

"I'll pick you up tonight at seven," Sasuke said coolly.

"Oh. Alrighty. Um. Yeah, so I guess I'll see you then." She turned around and tried to figure out what had just happened. Somehow, she was going on a date with the boy she had been in love with for years...she smiled. Who cared if she didn't exactly understand what was happening? She was going out with Sasuke! She skipped away happily.

Sasuke saw this and smirked. His plan had gone perfectly.

So Sasuke's an evil mastermind. Or something. Who can really tell with him?

I don't really have any excuses for this. It's late, I'm sick, and I just finished reading the Percy Jackson series (so I guess I actually do have some excuses...?). Anyways, please review.