Disclaimer: yes, I own the X Files... I wish.

Summary: when the end comes around, Mulder wonders why scully would chose to stay.

A/note: I've always wondered whether they actually talked about this. I'm trying to understand the relationship they have. How does it go from season 8 and 9, no real acknowledgement to IWTB? Let's start in the car on the way to see CSM in the truth. This is how I pose this question in the XF world.

I don't understand. I really don't. It's close to one in the morning. I'm driving down a desert highway to Mexico to visit a man who has more lives than a cat. That I understand. I also understand that I am in this car when I should be contemplating the course of my life as I prepare to die. Don't get me wrong. I am thinking about my life, just not the dying bit. Now here is the bit I don't get.

Why is Scully here? In the car, driving off to Mexico with me?

I mean, I left her in the dark when I was dying. I may have been a little standoffish in the beginning with William. Scratch that, I did my best to pretend I played no part. In the beginning mind you. It was the hardest thing to leave them. I have felt so torn apart; I left everything I loved in her apartment when I left.

She let him go to protect him too. The one thing she wanted, probably more than me. She let him go. Now, she has pretty much left her life behind to blindly follow me. Now I feel a bit guilty for not knowing her well enough to think she might run away with me, and that I left her in the first place.

I gotta know.

"Scully?"

She groans at me, or the uncomfortable seat. I poke her as gently as possible. She wakes up. Though she may still be asleep given the look on her face.

"What is it Mulder?"

"Scully. I gotta know something."

"Mm?" She opens one eye and looks over her shoulder. I guess she's half awake now.

"Why did you decide to come with me?"

"Are you serious?"

"Scully... we're not going to recover from this quickly. I probably won't ever. You had the chance to sever you're ties to me and go live your life. Why are you here?"

She gives me the grumpiest sigh ever and turns to sit in the seat properly. Obviously her sideways sit wasn't comfortable.

"Mulder. I can't pinpoint it. I think it's because you opened my eyes to some things. I think..." she yawns. How cute. "I think, somewhere along the line, we became... I mean, we-"

"Yeah. Something a bit more sophisticated than inseparable." I can't help myself. I slide my hand across to hers and hold her hand. Why? Because as smart as scully is, some things can't be said.

She looks at our hands. There's a little bit of moonlight and you can just see them sitting there. She squeezes my hand back.

"Exactly."

And then I think she went back to sleep. I don't think she actually answered my question perse, but she pretty much did by not trying to say it. I dunno. Some things are hard to put into words.

Mulder and scully are very hard to explain. I think it is a love, in one of its many types, that only some of us can articulate into words.