A/N: So, if anyone of you are reading my other stories, I'm on a hiatus from those. I'd say I'm on a hiatus from writing, but I might do one shots .. But yeah, this is until Christmas. I have a lot of work to do for Uni applications, work experience for Uni and also finding a job. It's a really busy year and I don't have a lot of time for writing currently. So, I'm just going to see how everything goes.. But please keep on checking for updates and reading and reviewing, xx
Just A Dream.
She stood facing the big brown doors, her hands shaking, her heart was pounding in her ears. She felt physically sick with nerves. This was the scariest and happiest day of her life. She heard the music begin to play and the doors opened wide. Her legs turned into jelly and she was so thankful her dad was beside her, otherwise she wouldn't have been able to move. She felt the tears, slowly stream down her face and her happiness shone within her bright blue orbs. Nick stood watching her slowly make her way down the aisle, unable to think straight. It was unreal how one beautiful person could suddenly look so different and so breath taking, just by wearing a smile and white dress. They stood side by side, their hands entwined as the minister spoke. When he spoke the words, "You may now kiss the bride," Miley suddenly felt complete, like nothing could bring her down from this high. She was young, barely turned 18, she was in love and she felt like she was finally living her fairy tale. But of course, life doesn't go like that.
Miley lay on her bed, curled up in a ball. This empty room suddenly seemed so loud and the world seemed like the scariest place on earth. Her bed was where she felt safe. She could still hear him laugh, hear him sing in the shower, hear him whisper "I love you." All those memories were trapped in this room, haunting her. She wanted him here, she needed him here. It sounded cliche, but she couldn't live without him. He had always been there. Ever since they were little they had been best friends and the older they got the more intense the feelings got, until they found themselves head over heels in love. They decided long ago, when they were little, that they would get married, raise a family and live together forever. However, Miley didn't realise forever would end this quickly. When they were both 16, they decided together that they would marry as soon as Miley turned 18, and they did just that. A year later, on Miley's 19th birthday, Nick made an announcement which was devasting, but Miley couldn't help but feel a sense of pride.
She pulled the covers over her head, remembering the last time she touched him and kissed him. It was the last time she looked into those dark brown eyes and felt safe. They stood in the airport, both avoiding the goodbye that was inevitable. She clutched onto his hand, afraid to let him go. There was no doubt about it, they were both terrified for the future, but Miley knew that she couldn't show this fear. She didn't want him to remember her as being scared, but being proud of him and she most certainly was proud of him. Everyone said their goodbyes, everyone gave him a final hug and kiss and wished him luck and then it was Miley's time. They held onto each other, neither one wanting to let go. Miley leaned in, whispering into his ear, "I want you to know that I love you, that I'm proud and that you'll never be out of my thoughts. Promise me you'll come home soon." And then Nick looked deeply into her sparkling eyes which he loved and pressed his forehead lightly against hers, "Baby, I love you and I'll see you soon, I promise and when I get home, we can start that family, ok?" And with one final kiss and hug he had to make his way to the plane.
The first few months were long, slow and hard for both of them. Letters were sent regularly and phone calls were made as much as possible. Usually Miley rambled on about everything that was happening back home and Nick told her small stories, scared to tell her about all the terrifying situations he had been in. And every letter and every phone call ended with each of them saying they were proud of one another, that they missed each other terribly and it always ended with the three words, "I love you." Those letters were in a box under the bed. It was a box decorated with photos of them together, with words that reminded her of Nick. It was a box that contained wonderful and heartbreaking memories and every time Miley opened that box, it got harder and harder to close it.
She knew she couldn't keep living her life like this, it wasn't what Nick would have wanted. Yet without him, life seemed pointless. He had always been there to make her laugh and to annoy her, and now without him, what was she to do? Who could she turn to? She hadn't only lost her husband, but she had lost her best friend. Life was never easy for her. She had spent her childhood with one friend, she had gone through adolescence with one friend and now she was entering adult hood with no one.
Miley pulled herself out of bed. She had to try and make a start, even if it meant just stepping outside the front door. She made her way outside, wearing nothing but Nick's boxers and one of his white shirts. The hot California sun shone brightly on her porcelin skin as she took a seat on the step of the front door. Her tears had dried out. It had only been a couple of days and she had already run out of tears. She felt empty. Everything was too surreal. She couldn't quite grasp the concept thatt he was gone and she would never see him again. It felt like one big, cruel practical joke and any minute now he'd pull up in a cab.
Then suddenly, as if he was sending her a message, the sun quickly disappeared behind dark grey clouds and as the rain began to slowly fall, a distant rumble was hard and for the first time this week Miley smiled. The rain got heavier and the thunder got louder. She began to laugh and was unsure if she had begun to cry again or if it was the rain wetting her cheeks. She knew it was him. He was telling her everything would be okay, he was telling her it was okay to cry and it was okay to hurt. She had to move on, but never forget. She had to believe everyone when they told her he wasn't coming home.
She stood in the long black maxi dress he loved, with her hair in a low, messy bun and her makeup natural, knowing that if he were here, he would have continuously told her that she looked beautiful and that he was the luckiest man alive. The cermony was a blur to Miley. She was unable to concentrate. A choir began to sing a song which was unfamiliar to her and she was handed a folded flag that belonged to him and up until then she had done so well to contain her tears. Everyone gave their condolensces and she put on a brave face. She just wanted to be left alone with him. She wanted to talk to him, to open up to him. And eventually she was given that time.
She knelt down beside his grave, wiping away a few stray tears and couldn't even find the right words to start. Her final goodbye had to be real and personal. It had to come from the heart, but how do you do that when your heart is in pieces? She ran her fingers through her hair and just gazed at the grave.
"Nicky, even though I hate you right now for leaving me, I am so incredibly proud of you. You are so brave, so incredible and I am so proud that I got to marry you and I am so proud to call you not only my Prince Charming, but my best friend. But where the heck am I going to find a friend like you again? How am I going to survuve without you? Who is going to be there to laugh at my miseries, to tease me silly, to wipe away my tears, to hold me when I'm scared and to tell me that everything's going to be okay? I need someone like that right now, because right now it doesn't seem like it's going to be okay. I'm scared of everything, especially the future and all I want is for you to tell me that there is going to be light at the end of this. I just .. I wish you would have kept your promise. You promised me that you would come home and you did, but not alive. Why did you have to be the hero? Why couldn't you have been weak and just ran away? That would have been ok because you would be with me still. You're so stupid at times Nick, always trying to help others, but I suppose that's also a reason why I love you so much, right? Wait me for me up there, ok? Don't go off with some other ghost girl, I'll see you soon, but until then, just remember that I love you. I always have loved you and I always will love you, forever."
She pushed herself up from the grave, whispering "I miss you" before heading back to the car that patiently was waiting for her. She knew that she had to move on, that that was what he had wanted, but for now it was okay to hurt and to grieve. It was going to take a while to build her life back, but she was content was being heart broken because she knew that he wasn't going to disappear from her presence and one day they would meet again. Goodbye is never forever.